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I hit my head, now i feel weird?
I've been having a lot of problems with my boyfriend and i recently started self harming again, i always hit my head when he aggravates me or ignores me and i cut myself when i feel he doesnt care, no one knows about it only him. i am 19 yrs old and i did this from age 11-15 then i stopped when i started dating him cause he made my life better than before (we've been together since then). Well lately every time we argue i always try and go to sleep because i seem to forget, but when i cant to go to sleep i start hitting my head uncontrollably and start cutting. Yesterday he made me mad and i started hitting my head really bad more than ever before and really hard so i was afraid cause i started going crazy and having thoughts of killing and weird thoughts and i tried falling asleep but couldnt because i had taken a nap that day so i took Acetaminophen PM with sleep aid (cause my head was hurting from when i hit it). and i fell asleep from 9-7 a.m. i woke up cause he called me and i felt really sleepy my head felt really heavy and tingly and i couldnt talk right and my head felt numb and it hurt a lot. I fell back asleep and woke up at 9 a.m. and felt soo sleepy i tried getting up and almost fell over and i was so dizzy and my head feels so heavy i thought maybe it was because i hadnt eaten since yesterday i only ate an apple (i dont starve myself i usually eat a lot i just had a lot on my mind and i slept most of the day since i was arguing with my boyfriend). I managead to serve myself cereal but could barely eat cause i kept falling asleep and i could barely put the spoon to my mouth and i cant smile or open my mouth a lot and my head feels like its gonna fall over. I have been depressed since as long as i can remember from age 11-15 i cut myself and i attempted to commit suicide all the time and my mom would spank me with a belt so i wouldnt do it anymore and get really mad and say i was such a brat cause other people had it worse yet i would cut myself and wanna die, and sometimes her hitting me would stop me from cutting cause i was scared she was gonna find out and hit me and yell at me and i hate seeing her mad or upset. but that stopped and i had been telling her i have been feeling more depressed than usual cause i always feel depressed and that i've been hitting my head when aggravated and she just said its cause im such a brat and i over react at stuff. but today i felt weird so i told her this morning and she got really mad and yelled that she hated me and that she was gonna hit me and i swore i wouldnt do it anymore but anyway im scared cause i feel like just going to sleep even though i slept almost all day yesterday and my head feels wierd like i can write this because i know the keyboard by memory after years of taking the computer class in school but i cant read like if i tried to read something i cant but yet again i can write this.But could this be because of the pills i took or is this serious and yes I know im depressed but my family can barely afford to pay the bills and get enough food we have no type of insurance and dont qualify for any we cant afford even going to the doctor so most of the time we dont go and we already owe so much to the hospital so now we dont ever go even if we are in excruciating pain cause we cant afford it.my parents cant afford missing a day a work to go so they go to work with the pain and i dont have family here cause i came from mexico and im now legal but i dont have anyone and since im so depressed and negative i dont have any friends i only have my boyfriend who works nights and works twelve hour shifts and hasnt had a day off in YEARS. he works from 10-10 gets home at 11 wakes up at 6 showers eats sees me sometimes plays games or just lays and relaxes til he leaves at 9, he hates going out because he is always tired and the light bothers him and his legs and joings always hurt he hates his job but cant find a better one. What should i do? Like should i go to sleep? or Should i wait til my boyfriend wakes up and tell him to take me to the Dr (he does have money since he works a lot) but right now his family took it all(like always) and he only has like a 500 dollars, he told me, or should i just not worry about it cause it could be like my depression or the pill i took? or is there anything i can do myself i tried listening to music or trying to wake up and i cant i feel so sleepy even as i write this my eyes close ?
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You posted this a while ago, so your funny feeling has probably resolved. Sounds like you have had a very difficult time, and life is hard for you. You say that all you have is your boyfriend, and your parents that have treated you horrible. That's not true, you have yourself...don't give anyone else control by hurting yourself because of them. Everyone was put here for a reason, and that reason is not to be treated badly. Don't tolerate it, you are worth more than that. Yes you need to seek help for the depression, but beware you might get resistance from your boyfriend. He doesn't want you to get better because then that makes him look even worse. So take care of yourself, that is all we can count on in this world anyway.
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Wow.. well one thing I can say about your head.. has this pain every happen before? the same tingly and heavy and sleepy? it cant be from pills because if it was you would get this more often ,but I think you had to have hit it hard or something to be able to be like this.. all I can say is please be careful with what you do... and you really need to go see a doctor or call online doctors for free to see what they say , you should go to the doctor though!
Good luck
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It is time for you to go to the emergency room. Period.
You can't mess around where potential brain injury is concerned.
There are many other issues which all boil down to you need to seek professional help for these self harming problems, but for right now you need emergency medical treatment.
Dial 911 and tell them what has happened. You will not get in trouble,
Please call now. You need help.
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