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I am in love with a bus driver :/ He is older than me but there is nobody I would rather be with!
I'm 19 years old and currently a highschool senior (no I'm not a super
senior), but the man I'm totally head over heels in love with is 39. I met him
my freshman year because he happened to be my busdriver. Do you think thats weird? And from the
first day I saw him I always thought he was cute but nothing
more than that. There was no actual feelings but by the end of freshman
year I felt something builiding there kinda like a crush. I wanted to
talk to him more than just saying hi and bye everday, but didn't know how
to. That summer I found myself thinking about him a lot. I think i grew to be
infactuated by him. And sophmore year
came around but nothing changed just kept admiring him more wishing
for him to talk to me- and I think that's when I was starting to like him more
than a crush. I'd be thinking of him at home on weekends, when I was out
with my friends, and even in class waiting for the bell to ring just so I can be
on the bus with him. No matter how busy i kept myself he managed to be
on my mind all day and all night long. The summer after sophmore year the
same feelinggs continued but I never told anyone cause I didn't know how
to and was kinda embarrassed. It wasn't until junior year that one day this bus
driver just started talking to me. I remember I got up to throw something away
and he was like nice shot and I
was like thanks! And he was like I think you should go out for the ladys
basketball team and we just started talking from there. THAT DAY WAS
THE BEST EVER AND WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN! WHY? well because
its the guy i was totally in love with that said it..who also likes basketball.
He picked me to talk to out of every girl on that bussss!!! meee! It went from
talking a couple times a week to everyday. And I was starrting to like likee
him moree! LIKE ALOTT :)) He was so sweet and intresting and diffreent
and charming, and kind, and smart even if he didnt go to college, AND
THATS WHEN I WAS SO IN LOVE WITH HIS PERSONALITY I BEGAN
TO THINK HE WAS THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE AND THATS WHEN I
GAVE HIM THE COMPLIMENTS I DID, AND HE GAVE ME THEM AT TIMES TOO! I HOPE HE BELIEVED THEM PeoPLe
THINK HES NOT CUTE!
then all the other guys I know. I still told nobody bout my feeling and that
summer just because I liked him so much I made a goal to work out even
if I already was skinny just so he“d be impressed by my body when senior
year would start up and he did notice. I thought A LOT about him that
summer even if I kept myself busy with vacations and friends! That summer
was the hardest to go through without seeing him Senior year came and I
got closer with this bus driver I shared by personal life with him and
so did he. WE HAD SO MANY ALIKE INTERESTs (we liked the same sports, movies, tv shows-all ten shows we both watched, values, i dont know we just were really alike. AND HE MADE ME
FEEL SPECIAL IN SOMEWAY> HE WOULD CALL ME SWEETIE AND
SWEETHEART BUT NOBODY ELSE THAT I reallly reallly realllly knew
that this is the man I wanted to be with! But that's when I found out he had
a fiance and so I stopped talking to him but then he started talking to me
and I think
he noticed hw I suddenly stopped talking to him after he told me about the
fiance! I think I kinda made it akward but he just started talking to me again
even if i didnt make the effort to talk to him. I dont know if he knew I liked him..I'm
sure he didn't! THERS NOT WEDDING DATE THOUGH HE SAID THERe
JUST GNNA STAY ENGAGED! But I was dying to tell him, I invited him to
cme to my powderpuff football game and watch me play! He said he would
of if I asked earlier! And I wish I did. But a couple months ago my bus driver
got fired for not doing a child check. I'm so sadd! I couldn't stop crying and I still cry and it hurts so so much! He
never even said goodbye to me, thers a lot I still wanted to tell him,
talking to him made me feel so happy when I was having a down day. I
wanna talk to him but I dnt knw what to dooo! - I needa to see his
face and hear his voice. Please dont judge I have feelings for my
busdriver its not a joke your heart desires what it desires! And no I
dont have daddy issues nor am I a gold digger! And no she's not some
model looking guy everyone thinks he's ugly but I think he's drop dead
gorgeous! Thers no man I rather be with than him. I'm not too young
too love so pls dnt say that, I've never gotten this feeling in my
life before! I know what a crush feels like and I now knw what love
feels like. We were so alike and had a lot of the same intrests I miss
it all. I sent him a goodbye card through the bus company but I dnt
know if he got it. What do I dooo?
I needa to see his face and hear his voice. Pls dont judge I have feelings for my busdriver its not a joke your heart desires what it desires! And no I dont have daddy issues nor am I a gold digger! And no he's not some model looking guy everyone thinks he's ugly but I think he's drop dead gorgeous! Thers no man I rather be with than him. I'm
not too young too love so pls dnt say that, I've never gotten this feeling in my life before! I know what a crush feels like and I now knw what love feels like. We were so alike and had a lot of the same intrests I miss it all. I sent him a goodbye card through the bus company but I dnt knw if he got it. What do I dooo? IS IT WEIRD I LIKE HIM? I know hes on ebay should i try and contact him? i miss him and wanna get in touch like crazy. Its been since the superbowl that hes been gone but i still am CRAZY about him. Ive tried going out with other guys to get my mind off him but nothings working. CANT I ATLEAST BE FRIENDS WITH HIM? Or friends with benfits? I wouldnt mind if he were to use me for sex, hes the only guy I would let use me for sex.
I truly do care for this man more than anything in this world. Im willing to give him anything. If he needs money which i know he does Im willing to give him my pay checks-all of them. I wanna take him on vacations hes never been able to afford, i wanna save up all my money to one day be able to surprise him with the sports car hes always wanted, I wanna take him to comedy shows he wanted to go to, i just wanna give him everything hes ever wanted and cant afford. HES MY LIFE HE COMES BEFORE ANYTHING AND ANYONE IN MY LIFEE! AND IM NOT EVEN JOKING!
LIFES NOT THE SAME WITHOUT HIM ITS LIKE PART OF ME AND MY HAPPINESS IS MISSING AND FOREVER GONE! HE NEVER SAID GOODBYE TO ME, I NEED TO TALK ONE LAST TIME!!
I LOVEEE HIM so sos sooos sooo much, i want him to have all the happiness in the world, im not trying to be selfish cause love is not selfish, i just need him to say he doesnt want me in his life and i think itll be a little easier to move on. i dont want to move on from him causee he is my life, and i dnt evn think its possible to love again. i dont want to love anyone but him! i would take care of him so well, even when hes 60 and im 40, he"ll be just as gorgeous as he is today and ill love him more and more until i die. every thing reminds me of him..eveery song and every object-everything
should i contact him ...
signed
IN LOVE
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Ok.
How to explain this to you.
Your love lacks depth. Reality. Substance. You've known the guy four years but you don't really know him. Personally, I don't think you really know if you love someone until you've lived with them.
A 39 year old man who's single and a bus driver is too cliche to even get into. There are things about him you don't know about. Things that have kept him from doing more with his life and women from spending large amounts of time around.
You're 19. You know nothing about real life. At all. You know nothing about bills and work, hell you don't even know what college is like yet. Nothing in your life gives you the experience to translate what you feel into an actual coherent worthwhile future.
Falling in love is great. Hell, thinking about life plans at 19 isn't the worst thing to do in the world so long as you aren't thinking of chaining yourself to a guy 20 years your senior (probably only about 5 in maturity though) it can be great.
Go to school. Date guys your own age. You're 19 years old, you aren't a fully developed person yet, if you go making life decisions that last you'll regret it and probably end up a divorce statistic.
You may not believe me, but in five years there are going to be more things that are important to you in a guy than there are now. Everything you want will be there, but as you actually date guys and get to know one or two intimately you'll develop new needs you can't really predict right now. Love does that to everyone, it's part of growing up.
Nothing you've said about this guy tells me that when you have grown into an adult woman he will have any shot at being what you want and need then.
Problem is, you have to get there unmarried. Well, not really, but if you don't that's how you end up being the aforementioned divorce statistic.
If it feels like it's going south, bail. There will be others. Believe me, if you started out at bus driver there will be plenty of others.
Oh yeah, one more thing before I forget.
"I don't care if he uses me" is not good. If you're just being a bit ridiculous make sure you know you wouldn't really do this.
If you're not kidding that's incredibly unhealthy. A love like that is objectifying and false. Worship is not romantic love, if you'd "let him use you" it devalues what both of you might actually have to offer. If he's really a decent guy he's not going to be into a relationship that unequal and he's going to feel like an adult dating a child. Which he kind of is.
The problem with this relationship, given that you're a senior, it's may, and you're 19, lies more with you than him. Assuming the absolute best about him, you aren't ready to seriously date an adult who is seriously ready to date other people. He's 39. If he want's kids that's in the next five years, tops, probably closer to three if he wants to be alive and functional when the first one graduates high school. He's going to be ready for marriage, I'd hope he already owns a home, but on a bus driver's salary unless you kick some ass in college and come out with a career that gives you some mobility that's the home you're raising kids in, and you get no say in it.
My wife is 22. Three years ago she couldn't give a shit where we live. Now all I ever hear about is how shitty our apartment is. You will care. Christ in Heaven will you care. You will care so much some man might hate you for it occasionally.
Where were we? Oh yeah, real life and the issues you probably haven't thought about yet.
You're 19 years old. The world is still, to some slight degree, your oyster. So don't get married before you're 25 and don't move in with this guy before you've been dating a year. At least give yourself a little time to have options. A little time to grow up and be an adult.
You need it, cause you aren't quite there yet. Date guys who are 39 when you have your own apartment that you pay for to bring them back to. At least then it's a level playing field.
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I would leave him alone.
First, you're only 19. Your brain is still developing and by the time you reach mental maturity around age 25, you may feel totally different about things. All you would do by injecting yourself into his life, where he has a fiance, at this point is to create a lot of drama. So you're going to have to move on.
I also think that part of your infatuation with the bus driver may be due to some dissatisfaction with the immature boys around you in high school. You also are at the age at which you want to feel validated as an adult by other adults.
Let me say this, too, and you can make of it what you will: I have dealt with school bus drivers before in a past job and, by and large, they were losers. Not because being a bus driver is inherently the mark of a loser (hey, it's an honest job), but from what I have seen, these people often have personal lives or quirks that lend them an inability to get anywhere beyond where they are.
So after you graduate from high school, go to college and meet lots of different men, date around and see where that leads you. Ultimately, high school really doesn't matter that much in one's life and so you don't want to really get too ensnared in any drama surrounding it. Sometimes rejection can be the best thing that ever happened to you. It sounds screwy, but it is often true.
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No.
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Hey IN LOVE,
I know how you feel! I can relate in that I am the same age as you and I know someone that is 20 years older than myself that I like (hope he's not your bus driver! Lol). In my situation, he and I can relate too in SO many different ways. We share a lot of the same interests (music, sports, cooking, cars etc) which allow us to talk about almost anything. Some people will tell you that you are crazy and theres no way you can be in love with someone that much older than you, but I believe it is possible. it is about the connection.
I have thought about those "What if" questions that I'm sure you have as well. Questions such as "what if we were together?", "what would life be like in 10 or 20 years?". Say you are 19 now and he is 39, in 20 years you will be 39 and he will be 59. Doesn't seem so bad then, hey? and if you found someone else besides him that is older then you, you will still notice how the age difference seems to disappear as you get older.
I'll tell you, there is such thing as an "older/wiser" body with a much younger heart dating a younger body with a much "older/wiser" heart... BUT, since he is engaged, I really doubt he would want to put that off and break her heart. Yes, your heart will desire what your heart desires, but there has to be logical reasoning behind it before stepping foreward.. such as "would he even consider leaving his already engaged fiance?" or "what would he think about dating someone young?". Try to see it from his point of view.
This guy I know called me sweety, listened to me, and made me feel warm inside. Those are traits that most older men have though; respect and maturity. I think that is what attracted you. Please see if he feels the same way first and think about how his fiance would react before you even begin to think about being in any relationship with him; other than a friendship. He seems like a nice guy, so find a way to contact him, talk to him, see how he feels, and I'm sure you could be good friends.
Remember: age is just a number, where personality says it all. If you ever want to talk more about him, you can always inbox me <3
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If he didn't come on to you, good for him. If he hasn't contacted you it is because he is not thinking of you the same way you thought of him. That would have been very unprofessional on his part. He's engaged. No I don't think you should contact him. Well you asked, and I gave an honest opinion. Sorry that you may be hurt, but this sounds more like an "addiction" or an "obsession" rather than true love. True love is mutual. From what I gather, this is not mutual. Talking and being polite on his part says he is a nice person, and that he likes you, but that is not the same thing as being "in love".
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Hiya 'in love' well to be honest, it sounds like this is really hard for you loosing somebody who you love. but remember he might be getting married soon. even if he said he wasn't he could of changed his mind, plus hes big time older than you, i would start trying to look into guys your age, but the bus driver seems a nice man. but he loves his fiance. and im pretty sure he wants to be with her, he may not remember you if you contact him, but you should try.. and just say that your sorry for him loosing his job. hope it helps.<3
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