I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).

I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.

I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.

I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.


I've been having a lot of problems with my boyfriend and i recently started self harming again, i always hit my head when he aggravates me or ignores me and i cut myself when i feel he doesnt care, no one knows about it only him. i am 19 yrs old and i did this from age 11-15 then i stopped when i started dating him cause he made my life better than before (we've been together since then). Well lately every time we argue i always try and go to sleep because i seem to forget, but when i cant to go to sleep i start hitting my head uncontrollably and start cutting. Yesterday he made me mad and i started hitting my head really bad more than ever before and really hard so i was afraid cause i started going crazy and having thoughts of killing and weird thoughts and i tried falling asleep but couldnt because i had taken a nap that day so i took Acetaminophen PM with sleep aid (cause my head was hurting from when i hit it). and i fell asleep from 9-7 a.m. i woke up cause he called me and i felt really sleepy my head felt really heavy and tingly and i couldnt talk right and my head felt numb and it hurt a lot. I fell back asleep and woke up at 9 a.m. and felt soo sleepy i tried getting up and almost fell over and i was so dizzy and my head feels so heavy i thought maybe it was because i hadnt eaten since yesterday i only ate an apple (i dont starve myself i usually eat a lot i just had a lot on my mind and i slept most of the day since i was arguing with my boyfriend). I managead to serve myself cereal but could barely eat cause i kept falling asleep and i could barely put the spoon to my mouth and i cant smile or open my mouth a lot and my head feels like its gonna fall over. I have been depressed since as long as i can remember from age 11-15 i cut myself and i attempted to commit suicide all the time and my mom would spank me with a belt so i wouldnt do it anymore and get really mad and say i was such a brat cause other people had it worse yet i would cut myself and wanna die, and sometimes her hitting me would stop me from cutting cause i was scared she was gonna find out and hit me and yell at me and i hate seeing her mad or upset. but that stopped and i had been telling her i have been feeling more depressed than usual cause i always feel depressed and that i've been hitting my head when aggravated and she just said its cause im such a brat and i over react at stuff. but today i felt weird so i told her this morning and she got really mad and yelled that she hated me and that she was gonna hit me and i swore i wouldnt do it anymore but anyway im scared cause i feel like just going to sleep even though i slept almost all day yesterday and my head feels wierd like i can write this because i know the keyboard by memory after years of taking the computer class in school but i cant read like if i tried to read something i cant but yet again i can write this.But could this be because of the pills i took or is this serious and yes I know im depressed but my family can barely afford to pay the bills and get enough food we have no type of insurance and dont qualify for any we cant afford even going to the doctor so most of the time we dont go and we already owe so much to the hospital so now we dont ever go even if we are in excruciating pain cause we cant afford it.my parents cant afford missing a day a work to go so they go to work with the pain and i dont have family here cause i came from mexico and im now legal but i dont have anyone and since im so depressed and negative i dont have any friends i only have my boyfriend who works nights and works twelve hour shifts and hasnt had a day off in YEARS. he works from 10-10 gets home at 11 wakes up at 6 showers eats sees me sometimes plays games or just lays and relaxes til he leaves at 9, he hates going out because he is always tired and the light bothers him and his legs and joings always hurt he hates his job but cant find a better one. What should i do? Like should i go to sleep? or Should i wait til my boyfriend wakes up and tell him to take me to the Dr (he does have money since he works a lot) but right now his family took it all(like always) and he only has like a 500 dollars, he told me, or should i just not worry about it cause it could be like my depression or the pill i took? or is there anything i can do myself i tried listening to music or trying to wake up and i cant i feel so sleepy even as i write this my eyes close ?

You posted this a while ago, so your funny feeling has probably resolved. Sounds like you have had a very difficult time, and life is hard for you. You say that all you have is your boyfriend, and your parents that have treated you horrible. That's not true, you have yourself...don't give anyone else control by hurting yourself because of them. Everyone was put here for a reason, and that reason is not to be treated badly. Don't tolerate it, you are worth more than that. Yes you need to seek help for the depression, but beware you might get resistance from your boyfriend. He doesn't want you to get better because then that makes him look even worse. So take care of yourself, that is all we can count on in this world anyway.


so i busted thru my bottom lip, and it has left a tiny scar! it has been a little over a month since the injury, and, with the exception of redness, its its not open anymore. however, the light casts a bad shadow on this scar becuase it looks to be depressed inward.i use tons of topicals, but none seem to be doing the trick. i hear the next step is laser treatment. im wondering if laser treatments will give me good results or if its just a waste of money. i know there is nothing to get rid of the entire scar, but perhaps theres a way to make it not indent?


Since this is obviously on your face, I would seek more than one opinion with a cosmetic surgeon. It seems to me (and of course I am not a doctor) but that there may be at least two more options Vs Laser treatment. One being injections to build up the tissue and another being a scar revision. I'm not sure if laser treatment would help with the indent, it may make the scar it's self look smoother, but also may be a risk to the surrounding tissue and it could always be worse than before you started. It's worth it to do your research though.

Best wishes,


about 9 weeks ago, my horse bucked me off. and since then, my tailbone still hurts, i cant recall if i actually landed on it, but i might of bruised it/cracked it. I didnt notice that it hurt so badly until i went back to school, which was about 1 or 2 weeks later. And it still hurts, I try to exercsise to lose weight and some of the exercises are ones where you sit back on your tailbone, and they hurt. My mom wont take me to a doctor or get my back xrayed. She says it wont do any good. And I continue to ride horses now, like 3 or 4 days a week. So are there any exercises or therpy exercises that i can do for my low back and tailbone? My mom wont take me to a chiropractor either, obviously. So for MY benefit, I would like to get my back better =]

You could have fractured your tail bone, but the only way to know for certain is with an x-ray. The good it will do going to the doctor is, you can get some appropiate pain medication and he can tell you what activies you should limit to allow the area to heal. Actually at this point exercise may make it worse and certainly riding horses won't help. So insist to your Mom that you need to see a doctor. If she still won't take you talk to the school nurse, maybe he/she can write a note.


Have been to a doctor and was given eye drops and was told to use warm wash clothe several times a day. Have done now for 4 days swelling has gone down but no stye has appeared. Do I need to go back to the doctor?

Hi, is it your eyelid that is swollen? I guess I wasn't clear on that. Maybe you are not going to get a stye (in case that's what the doctor said) My son used to get a condition called Blepharitis, and his eyelid would swell and hurt but no stye would be present. He used a q-tip with baby shampoo to cleanse his eyelashes and then applied triple antibiotic ointment to just the base of the lashes, was careful not to get it in the eye. That's what worked for him, but of course you should follow the advice of your DR. If what he/she told you is not working, you could always see someone else such as an opthamologist.



what can i do to make both of my infected pierced ears heal?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! i am like afriad that i will have to go through surgery or something. the earing is embeded in my ear and i ca't take it out! help!!!

Of course your best bet would just to see the doc because the swelling may be due to an infection that should be treated with oral antibiotics.

But if you insist on not going to the doc, this is what I would try if it were me.

Clean the area with cotton swabs dipped in hydrogen peroxide to remove any old drainage which will make it sort of sticky. Then apply a cold compress for about 20 minutes, after that use an antibiotic ointment (if you are not allergic to antibiotics of course) I'd try this 3-4 times in a 24 hr period is all & try to remove the earing that is embedded, because actually it may have to be surgically removed later if you don't get it out now.

Once you can remove the earing and if you want to keep pierced ears, try surgical steel/nickle free french wires to keep the holes open, you can turn them several times a day and most likely won't get embedded.


ever since i got my braces off (three years ago) my jaw kinda pops sometimes.

that mostly stopped for a while, but recently i've been expieriencing a LOT of soreness on the left side; it feels like a bruise and i can't open my mouth all the way.

it's not my teeth, i suspected it might be a cavity but i got checked and it turns out i don't have any.

any way i can make the pain stop?
what might have caused this?


It could be that your teeth are not in perfect alignment with each other. In otherwords your bite may be off. While this seems minor, it can cause major pain and soreness. I've had it happen to me, so I know. It may just be a tiny amount and the orthodonist didn't notice. If this is the case it would be very simple to fix. Once my bite was corrected the pain was gone in less than 24 hours, but I tell you, my entire face hurt before it was BAD.


well my mum noticed a lump on my chest when she was rubbing vopor-rub onto it, and decided that i should see a doctor. i went and he said it seems like a fracture, so i have an x-ray in 8days. i recently stopped smoking and was wondering if they will be able to see that i smoked (my mum will be there, dont want her to know). thanks:)

It would depend on several things..how long you have smoked, how much and how long ago it was that you quit smoking. It is quite possible some density from smoking could show up on the chest x-ray, although at this stage it would be difficult to determine the exact cause. Certain respiratory infections could show similar findings. Keep in mind those exposed to just a little second hand smoke can have findings on a chest x-ray. I know someone who hadn't smoked for 50 years...and had changes on a chest x-ray. Amazing!


i'm planning on heating a needle to make several needle point burns on my hand to make a design. please spare me to you need help gesture, b/c im not doing it to take out pain on myself, im just making a tatoo like burn. what can i do to make sure the scars show up.

First of all when you heat a needle up it will turn black. When you penetrate the skin with that needle--such as in a burn, the black burned color may be imprinted into the skin. Please remember that your hands will be seen at every career you will ever have in the future and people won't take you serious because of the wound you inflicted upon yourself. I am guessing that at a later date you will want to have plastic surgery to remove those scars. Seems like too much of a risk to me.


ohkay, well on the left side of my upperback and sholders, its been hurting since january or febuary, it hurts so so so so bad, like somone stabbed me in my sholderblade.and i can barley laugh, i cant sneeze or cough, it hurts
whats wrong?
please help

The first thing you should do is see your family Dr. If you didn't have an injury, the doc will want to rule out other things first. Did you know that heart problems, lung problems or gallbladder disease can show up as upper back or shoulder pain? Not saying that is what you have, but I am just letting you know that it could be serious, and you owe it to yourself to get it checked by a professional.


last night i did sit-ups. this morning i woke up at 7:00, nothing was wrong. woke up at 10:00, my neck hurt MISERABLY. it STILL hurts, i can't turn my head or anything. it's my right side, i can't lift my right arm. it hurts too bad. i was thinking maybe it was the sit-ups, that i could have strained/pulled my neck or something. but my throat is like swollen, my ears.. i can't hear really well.. they feel full. the pain is my whole right side of my neck, front & back. please don't tell me to see the doctor. do you know what's wrong with me? has anyone else ever had this?

Sit ups is not going to make your ear and throat hurt and decrease your hearing. Any other advice other than seeing a Dr would be the wrong advice. The best interpretation is an infection of some sort, but only a doctor can diagnose you and treat you. I know it's not what you wanted anyone to say, but this type of thing can be serious, so you owe to yourself to find out what is wrong other than asking on a message board.


Okay, so I wasn't EXACTLY sure where to put this, but my left foot tends to cramp up quite often. I'll just be sitting doing nothing, and if I even wiggle my toes, it will just cramp up like I can't move it at all. It hurts soo bad though. Also; when I walk, it gets sore rather quickly.. and I can't even explain it. But here's my question: does anyone know what this could be? I'll be going to the doctor shortly for a physical, so I can ask her then... I would just like to have some input to see if there's anything I can do in the meantime. Thanks for any advice!!

Usually this is caused by the type of shoes you wear. It happens once you take them off because the pressure of the shoes cause a decrease in circulation which in turn cause the nerves to fire wrong. Of course you want to make sure this is nothing more serious when you see the doc. However you might try some good shoes with a high and roomy toe box.

Just a hint, to check shoes out to see if they are good or not, place them on a flat surface (off your feet of course), and lightly tap the toe, if the shoe rocks back and forth or forward and backward, don't buy them.


I went swimming, I had a "Charlie Horse" in my foot. It lasted long, it always does for me. After that.. I got out and went in the bathroom to change.
So I was kinda.. sqautting to get my bathing suit bottoms off. The toe next to the baby one, POPPED out of joint. It freaked me out so I smacked my foot against the ground. It went back in place and then popped out again.. Finally it went back into place...So I have it wrapped. Is there anything else I should do? It's kinda numb and stuff, so tomorrow.. is it gonna hurt like hell? (I took vicodin a while ago)
Is it going to feel like it's not there?
Is it going to pop out again?
I have always had a fear of breaking my toes or something, because my feet are so tiny and yeah.. It scares me.

Well if you have it wrapped and "it's kind of numb" you need to take the wrap off. If you have a muscle spasm in your toe, it will pull on the joint and make it look crooked. Rather than wrap the entire toe, use a strip of tape or bandaid and buddy tape the painful toe to a toe next to it. The biggest reason people have muscle spasms in their toes is because of tight or improperly fitting shoes, when you take the shoes off they will still feel cramped and can go into spasm. Be sure to wear shoes that are wide enough with a high enough toe space. Elevate your foot as much as possible today and use a cold pack on your toe 3 times a day for 20 min each. If you continue to have problems or if the toe continues to look crooked see your doctor for an exam.


For some reason i somehow managed to pull a muscle or hurt something at least in my leg last night while sleeping and it hurts! Ive done it before, just not recently and im not sure how i do it. Right now my calf area still hurts even though i tried stretching it. Is there any way i can keep myself from pulling a muscle while sleeping? Is this even considered pulling a muscle or something else?

As the other's already mentioned you probably had a muscle spasm or "charlie horse" in your calf while you were sleeping. If this wakes you up you may even feel the spasm--the muscle will feel contracted. At that moment try stretching your toes toward you to help relax the muscle. Putting moist heat on your leg will help with the pain, and ask your Dr or pharmacist about OTC medications. Many people who get these type of spasms are lacking in vitamin D, calcium, magnesium and potassium. If you don't take vitamins try eating a banana and drinking milk every day. If you have tenderness, redness, swelling or the area feels warm to the touch please see a Dr right away as this could be a more serious condition that requires medical intervention.


i had an MRI done & it turns out i have a chronic ankle sprain. i looked it up on google but it did not give me much information. i don't meet with my doctor until november. has anyone ever had this?? what did you do about it?? i've had it since june & it hurts a lot. i can't go out for more than an hour or two without it being tired. it feels like its hanging on by a string & is really weak. i've started therapy, but it didn't help too much. that's when i went & got the MRI done. anyone have any ideas??


A chronic condition means it's long term, the ankle has never healed the way it should. Therapy as prescribed by your doctor is probably the best treatment for you right now, but it's most likely going to take a lot of therapy or a long time in therapy. After all, this has been going on a long time. If you are not satsified with your recovery or the treatment you are receiving, it would be reasonable to seek a second opinion perhaps by an orthopedic or a podiatrist. It would depend on what the Dr says but wearing an ankle brace or a strap on support might help, but it also might keep the ankle weak. There's been good reports of healing with magnets, (The special kind that are made for that purpose) The Dr may not agree with it, but at least it wouldn't hurt to try it. If anything wear the magnet on your ankle at night.


ok my butt crack itches really bad... like for 2 days its been going on.. its happened before but only for like 2 or 3 days so im hopin its the same.. is it bad? like it itches reaaaaaaaaaly bad.. is that bad? is there anything i can do to stop it?

Just wanted to update you on the information that another poster gave you. I doubt if it is tapeworms. Tapeworms are not transmitted by hand to mouth contact..to get a tapeworm you actually have to swallow a host which is usually a flea. Pinworms may be what everyone is trying to say here. They exit the rectum at night to lay their eggs. Often little white dots are seen in the stool--or actually tiny worms. The itching would be worse at night. I do believe there is over the counter medicine for pinworms if you think that may be what you have. Call the Dr or ask a pharmacist. Otherwise what may be going on is some type of skin yeast infection. In this case you'd want to keep the area as clean and dry as possible and apply a nystatin type powder. The best advise of all however is to see your Dr so you can get diagnosed and get some relief from the pure torture that itching can cause.


i'm a 15 year old female. i recently broke my fibula and tibia at a soccer tournament. i had surgery last week, where they installed a rod in my leg. i'm supposed to be putting as much pressure on it as possible, to start the healing process, but it hurts too much. so i've just been staying off of it. my homecoming is in two weeks, and my goal is to be able to go without crutches. but i can't seem to convince myself that it's okay to walk on it. please, if you have any advice on stretches i could do - or just some encouragement to get me motivated would be nice. thank you :]

Since you are feeling unsure about bearing weight, what I would suggest is asking your Dr for a referal to physical therapy (PT). The therapist will be able to design a regimen that is specifically for your type of injury and surgery. I am sure you'd rather not reinjure your leg considering all you've been through, and this might be what is causing your apprehension. That's completely normal, I understand. As far as motivation, PT is very good at this...and with each little bit of progress you make you will feel much better and be willing to do more.


how do you reduce/eliminate the apperance of scars and/or stretch marks? any kinds of lotions or something?

New scars can be treated with a flat type of dressing that is gel like. This will flatten the scar and make it less noticable. Follow the package directions.

To fade stretch marks one could try a topical vitamin A or retinol type cream. There are stonger versions of this available by prescription. Otherwise laser treatment may help too.


I got a bloody nose last night... it lasted for about 20 minutes... so I need to know how to make it stop fast.

Lean forward, pinch the nostrils together with your fingers and a cold wet washcloth and apply a cold pack directly to the nose. Leaning back only makes it appear as if the bleeding has stopped because the blood will run down your throat. It's tempting, but don't blow your nose for several hours afterwards because that will dislodge the clot and start the bleeding all over again. If the blood loss seems severe during "20 minutes" you should probably see the Dr who can either pack the nostril or cauterize the blood vessel and stop the bleeding immediatly. If this occurs frequently the Dr can also advise prevention strategies.


i jammed my toe. its kind of crewkid now just a little and it hurts and its swollen. i am scared to pop it cuz it hurts so bad. so if i dont will it eventually go back to normal?

Don't try to pop or manipulate the toe back into place yourself. This might just make it worse. The best thing to do is to see a Dr to rule out a fracture or dislocation. Use a cold pack and elevate your foot as often as possible and try not to bear weight on that part of your foot until it is healed. If the crooked appearance is from swelling alone, it will go back to normal after the swelling goes down. If it is a problem with the bone/joint or tendon it will not change without the proper treatment.


i slept on my shoulder wrong the other night and had mom massage it in the morning. but it made it worse. now, it feels like a huge bruise spread across my upper back. it hurts quite a bit. but im wondering if i should go to a massage therapist or just take asprin until it goes away.

If you are under 21 you shouldn't take aspirin due to the possiblity of Reye Syndrome. Ask your Mom and/or the pharmacist about taking Ibuprofen or Tylenol. It's not logical for one to suggest OTC meds due to the potential for complications when the persons medical history is unknown. Use a cold pack three times a day for 20 minutes each. Try not to do anything strenuous with your arm/shoulder for a few days aside from gentle range of motion exercises. Those with shoulder problems should sleep on their back with a pillow behind the head that extends below the posterior shoulders. Using topical pain releiver creams or gels would be a good idea. If the pain does not resolve in a few days or gets worse, seek further treatment advice from a licensed health practioner.


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