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dating a guy for a yr.i been here thru alot of stuff.. now a baby with someone else?
He has a baby on the way by a girl he got pregnant before we set boundaries and he has had money issues and i helped im with him every night and im happy but i just feel,for myself, i need that commitment especially before the child gets here to feel that security and have that commitment..i deal with a lot dating him and this situation and i feel i deserve at least that...but i dont want to feel im forcing anyone to "be" with me..although im always with him, his family knows about me, etc...do i wait it out or stand my grounds about having his all or nothing...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Stand your ground. Have a conversation with him about commitment. Don't let him string you along.
Toodle-oo,
Miss Piggy
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I could tell you that you need to give up on this relationship, move on with your life and never look back and you might even agree with me, but you'll never listen to my advice, which breaks my heart for you. Attempting to make a life with this guy is the wrong thing to do and you know it, but you'll continue trying because the chemicals in your brain are forcing you to even though it's the worst decision in the world. Take a long hard look at your situation and try to see it from a point of reason. You deserve for him to leave you forever because even though it will hurt for awhile now, you will be much, much happier without him than you ever were with him once some time has passed and you get over it. He got a girl pregnant before you set boundaries? I'm pretty sure you shouldn't need to have a direct conversation with someone about how they shouldn't have unprotected sex with other people if they're genuinely interested in you as more than a fling in the first place. You don't want to be with a guy that's going to be that stupid. There's no way the pregnancy was planned and you do not want to be with someone that makes such bad decisions. Unprotected sex? Are you kidding me? If he's having money issues now, how is he going to ever pay child support? You say "I'm with him every night" like that's some sort of win. Don't you think it's a bit pathetic? You deserve for him to dump you and never talk to you again because that would be the best thing for you. You deserve so much BETTER, like a good man that's going to treat you right and he is not one. You have so much loyalty, but you're giving it to a person who doesn't give it back and won't start. He accepts money from you? What a guy! Get the idea of "love" out of your head and make a good decision for yourself. Every good thing that he does for you, you can find someone that can give the same things, but without the pain. You need to require more for yourself. Again though, you're not going to listen to me, so why am I even saying any of this? Like so many before you, you're going to give in to your desperation to be with him because of how you feel when he's awful for you and you know it. Feelings fade, his bullshit will not. When the next guy could make you feel just as good as he does, never make you feel bad, not have to have discussions where you need to prohibit him from participating in behaviors that if he really cared about you he wouldn't even dream of doing, and not have to give him money, you can't choose this. Get out of it NOW, this minute, today, or YOU might get pregnant, get stuck with this loser forever, and spend the rest of your life dreaming about what your life could've been. You asked for advice and there it is. Do with it what you know you need to do, not what you want because even though he is what you want right now, he is not what you need and once you experience someone that is actually right for you, you'll wonder how you could ever have wanted this. I promise, you'll never look back. Good luck.
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Too late for having his all as you stated. Why? Because men will juggle several priorities in their life. Usually job is one, his family and friends are another and his girlfriend another. He can have about 3 top priorities in his life. The fact that he is the father of that child, whether he is with that woman or not, means he will need to put time into being there for his kid. So the child will hopefully be one of his top three priorities, a job will be another to be able to pay child support, and who knows what his third one will be. He can have good intentions meaning to make you one of his top priorities but he wont know how much time he will have for you until he is in the middle of it after the kid is here.
Words are cheap hon. And words dont guarantee anything unless they come from a man who knows how to keep his word and his promises. It all depends on who he is as a man at core...his core values and beliefs. What does he stand for as a man if anything.
At this point, it doesnt matter what you have poured into the relationship effort wise, things are changed, you may have to share 3 place priority with other important things, schooling if any, any volunteer work he does, time for friends, sports team or workouts, and his family-parents and siblings. So as you can see, there is no way to have All of him, 100% to yourself. If you dont think you can share him with all his other prioritys including a newborn, then you may have to decide to break it off and find someone who isnt a daddy and is a little smarter to discuss and set boundaries Before getting into a relationship.
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