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Should I stay with my boyfriend?
Should I stay with my boyfriend? I'm 13 and he's 16 but he lives all the way in London. I know some of his friends and that's how I met him. We started back talking a few days ago. I found out that he signed up for the army and he has three years of training. He did it so he wouldn't have to be with me anymore but he wont break up with me and he says that he wants to be with me.
I'm so confused and I need to know if I should break up with him.
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Hi! I'm sorry for you trouble and hope to give you the best advice I can possibly give. First off, you don't know for sure that's why he signed up for the army. Ask some of his friends, I'm sure they will know the reason why. I tend to overthink things a lot like that too, but if he says he wants to be with you then he very well may. Ask around and see what his friends and family say. Everyone has a reason why they do something, and you just may not know why he wants to go. I can understand your first thought would be so he could get away from you. But what if he really does want to be with you and you want to be with him and you dump him with the both of you having feelings? It's best to ask and get the whole story first. And ask more than one person 'cause different people will say different things. But please don't dump him till you know for sure 👏
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Hey there sweetie. First off, I'd like to say that you're too young to be dating. I was thirteen when I had my first boyfriend and boy, do I regret it. I'm 18 right now, and I still don't feel ready for all the responsabilities of being in a relationship. It's not just hand-holding and long conversations. It's unity, it's becoming one, it's being a team. It's fighting through rough times, it's understanding one another and finally, it's being intimate in more than the obvious way. So yeah, I think letting him go is just best. Firstly, because you're too young to be putting yourself through all the trouble and pressure a relationship brings. And second, because he doesn't seem truly invested. So just enjoy your teen years and wait for the right one to come along.
Best of luck!
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Dear Teenage Love Story,
You have yet begun to scratch the surface of your life. If a guy is joining the army to get away from you and doesn't have the decency to just break up with you then why would you want to be with him? The key to a strong relationship is communication and if one of you doesn't do that than it's not worth it. You are too young to focus your energy on someone that doesn't even communicate with you. You have your whole life ahead of you and will later on meet the right person. Don't focus on the what's not happening now but stay strong and look forward to what will be so you don't miss out on the future.
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It's not a good idea to stay with him. You're 13 and you've got a lot better things to do than sit around online wondering if a guy really cares about you or not. Go out, live your life, and have some fun. If it's meant to be with him, he'll come to you in a few years. In the meantime, just be a teenager and don't worry about some confusing guy that you can't even see. Too often we get stuck in dead-end relationships and waste way too much of our energy and time on something that was just plain silly. Good luck!
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it sounds like he is confused, the fact that he lives some distance from you and your only 13 and unable to see him on a regular basis tells me that although you are committed to the relationship he is not. you say he has signed up for the army because he didn't want to be with you but he refuses to break up with you, it sounds like he scared to be single.
i advise you talk to him about what he really wants and if that's the army then let him focus on doing that (because at 16 he wont have signed up because he dont want to be with someone it will be because he wants to or his family have made him) and if you destined to be together it will happen when your both ready and able to fully commit to the relatonship
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Has he told you that he joined the army so he doesn't have to see you?
I don't know where you live in comparison to London, but it sounds like you haven't been with him long.
My advice is; you're young, you don't live near your boyfriend. He's about to leave. Go and have fun! Don't let yourself get tied down.
Hope this helps :) xoxo
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he can't have both ways, join the army so he isn't with you and not break up and say he wants to be with you. its a paradox within itself. I would recommend giving him an ultimatum: either he breaks up with you or he finds a way to stay with you. you have to consider this before you do though, its a strained relationship as it is if it is a long distance between you two and now he is getting ready for a military life, taking away from time he can spend talking to you as well as limits any chances you will have of seeing him. hopefully, you two will remain friends, but it may not be healthy for you to stay together. Your 13 you have your entire life ahead of you his choice is to be in the army and you will make choices in your lifetime as well I suggest break up with him in ten years if you are meant to be together he will come back to you if not then it wasn't meant to be. The pain over a break up will fade over time but the regret that you sprang your life clinging to him when he doesn't want to be with you at the moment will not fade it will ruin your chances of a normal happy teenage experiance. Good luck hope you take this advice.
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Just by your choice of words, it sounds like this is a long distance friendship, conversing on line.
That is a far cry from a face to face relationship.
I will give you details regarding what the purpose of dating is, to begin with. When done reading it, I am sure you should be able to decide better what you will do, whether you will keep in touch via the net, and whether you will continue to call him a boyfriend.
The Purpose of Dating
Dating is for determining if there is interest beyond basic attraction, discovering more about the other to determine if you like and can handle their personality traits, and whether there's enough in common, or evidence of destructive habits or tendencies in one or both people that would harm the partner emotionally and/or physically and kill the relationship. This can't be done in LDR's and works only in real life face to face relationships. Depending on what you discover, you either continue dating the person and take it to the committed couple level or you break up. If you break up, when looking for the next dating partner, always trying to find someone a step better than the last partner, basing your choices for the new person on traits you discovered that you liked enough to look for in the next person, while at the same time avoiding the other things that you won't tolerate.
If all is going well and you develop some serious feelings for each other, you take the relationship from just dating to the committed couple level. At this level, depending on your age, you are dating each other exclusively or moving in together or getting married.
If you find you keep having the same issues, no matter which guy you date, either you never learned from the past relationship, or perhaps more of the issues are with you and you need to be honest with yourself as to what issues you need to work on within yourself before you can make a good dating partner.
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