about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

Hello I am 13 and this other guy is 13. We are both in the same class. He said he wants to have sex with me. I love him so much but he said he would date me only to have sex with him.I would do any thing to make him happen should I do it. Maybe he would want to date me after. I don't know can you help I am only 13 and do not know a lot about boys. Please help me. I need help.

Boys his age will tell girls anything they want to hear if it means they will have sex with them. Boys his age are in the early stages of puberty just as you are. The hormones racing around in him are causing him sexual tension and stress. He wants and needs sexual relief. To get this relief he will confuse lust and love and he will promise a girl almost anything she wants.



Having sex with someone in exchange for something is bad. In fact it is the definition of prostitution. If you have sex with someone in exchange for something of value real or intrinsic this is considered to be an act of prostitution. Not that you could be arrested for it, it is just the definition.


Is this the reputation you want to have. A girl that needs to have sex with boys in order to get them to be your boyfriend or date you. This is the type of reputation that gets around school very fast and is hard to live down.


Others have gone into the fact that you are to young so I will not go there except to say I agree with them. What I will say is sex is not something you want to use as a commodity to get you something. That is not what sex is all about. Besides being the way to reproduce it is also the most intimate of ways to get to know someone. It should be saved for someone you would like to spend a lifetime with.


I'm not saying you need to wait until your married to have sex. I'm saying to wait until your older. Until you are mature enough to find someone you may wish to spend your life with. Maybe you will, maybe you won't but this is when sex is right and loving. Not a wham Bam thank you mam for some guy who does not know the difference between lust and love.

[view]

Yep, I got a question about staying fresh... down there. How embarrassing right??! But seriously, I need your help. Anything at all you know will help.

23 female btw.

So... even after I shower or clean myself up down there, by the end of the day I just dont smell fresh anymore. Its not a terrible smell but it's not good and it is obvious.

I hate that when I'm around my friends... or anyone really...and I have to just sit there with my legs as close together as possible and its not very fun when my friends wanna goof off or dance or something and I cant because Ill have to open my legs. But the smell usually seeps through my jeans, shorts, sweats... whatever I am wearing.

I know its gross. Please stay with me.

I change my panties all the time but it doesn't help either. I'm skinny (115pounds)so I know thats not an issue. I dont have the gap between my thighs tho... could that be a problem?

I get wet really, really easy. Which is probably a big part of the problem... Ive tried to wear panty liners or tampons so that it catches everything and it will work occasionally... but still not permanently.

I don't have periods becuase I have a mirena. Could the mirena have anything to do with this?

I sweat a lot. Well I mean, I dont handle heat well. I am generally always cold so if I get warm even a little bit I tend to sweat... is that a huge factor? But how do you fix sweating?

Its also not just my area. My whole body seems to have a natural unpretty odor. How can I just smell good?

Please help. I know its gross but thats why I need help!!!

As a guy I probably don't have a good answer for you other than there are feminine deodorants on the market that you may wish to try.


If you have seen you GYN and you are healthy down there. Then all I can say is that you probably have a strong feminine sent. This is not a bad thing. Sent is one of the things that attracts our mates. If your boyfriends are not turned off by your scent then I would tell you not to worry.


If you enjoy a full sex life including oral sex, if into that with a partner, then your scent is what it is meant to be to attract a mate. Their are chemicals within our scents designed to attract the opposite sex. Remember we may be humans but we are a human animal and scent is a very strong part of what attracts us to one another.


Masking those scents with deodorant can inhibit a future life mate from finding you.

[view]

i am just fed up with my life...
i want my parter to realise my value and the only way for this is to leave him which is ultimately very difficult for me if i remain alive so tell me what can i do???
the only thing i can think is of suicide.

You'll have to trust me on this; as a member of a fire department rescue squad I have seen numerous attempts at suicide. THERE ARE NO PAINLESS WAYS TO DIE.


If you truly want to show your partner your value to him you will live to prove it to him. There are more ways to prove your value then there are ways to die.


If you chose to live there is help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255): operates 24/7 free and is a confidential, nationwide network of crisis centers. Call them they will listen and help you. They will also arrange help within your own community.


If you are actively suicidal as you read this; meaning you are ready to hurt yourself at any moment. Then call 911 and ask for help.


Dieing is not a solution it is an end result. You can better prove your worth by living.

[view]

I was just woken up by a very werd dream about this guy in my class.I am 13 and so is he.he is always whispering in my ears "Me and you tonight during class."Well yestared he tolled me that he had a desire for me and I had a desire for him. I said no and he said we could use a condum if I wanted.During a video about birth in science class.well I just had a dream that I was pregant with his baby.I love this boy but I am afaid that he only wants to have sex with me. Or get me pregant.Do you think he likes me and wants me to get pregant with his baby.I am confused can people help me.please.

If this boy is about your same age it is a pretty good bet he primary interest in you is sex. Boys ages from the start of puberty into their early 20's, this diminishes as they get older, confuse lust and love. Boys are hard wired to seek sex relief from the start of puberty until they mature enough to understand the difference between lust and love. Until then they will confuse the two.



In the case of this young man, from what you have written, he is not confused he wants sex from you. I don't think it is his desire to get you pregnant, he just wants sex. As to giving him sex you and he are way to young to be having adult type sexual relationships.



Neither of you have the maturity to fully understand the act. Neither are your bodies mature enough, particularly your body is not ready for sexual intercourse. Sure you can do it but you are really not ready for it. I can assure you that you will not enjoy it. As for him he will think he enjoyed it as he will get relief, but that's all. You will,if you do have sex with him, most likely have regrets and live in fear until your next period. Its not worth it.



Ignore him, tell him no or whatever is necessary to let him know that you may be interested in him but it is a non sexual interest.

[view]

I made chicken for the first time on Sunday. It came out decent but the chicken seemed a little dry. What are tips for making chicken really moist and juicy but at the same time making sure it's cooked all the way? Is there anything I should add to it before, after, or during the cooking of it?

Thanks!

I love to cook. When I was first teaching myself to cook I relied heavily on an insta-read cooking thermometer, still do in fact.


As I have become more confident in my ability I have been able to tell by touch and by cooking by weight and time. Whenever cooking/roasting a whole chicken or turkey I always use a meat thermometer, my trusty inst-read to make sure the bird is at 180 degrees. It needs to be at 185 to be thoroughly done. The last 5 degrees comes as it sits resting before carving.


If I'm cooking individual pieces I usually cook by time. Most times 30 to 40 minutes is enough to cook/ovenroast most parts of a chicken. If the parts are really thick I'll get out my thermometer or if it is a breast I will cut into one of the thicker ones to see if it is cooked through. Same cooking temperature applies.


Below is a website I found that might help you. Be sure to look at the references as well.


http://www.ehow.com/way_5240792_temperature-times-cooking-chicken.html

[view]

Sorry for the length but please still read:
My husband and I have been married 6 years. He is 36 and I am 24 so he came into the marriage with more life experience. Every year we have been married he wants to take our vacations one step further but it seems like I am always the one changing. The first year we were married we went to Daytona everything was great I felt sexy in a normal bikini and we had a good time. Then he buys me all these thong bikinis and insists I wear those when we go to Mexico, and even though I told him I was hesitant, i did. Then the next time we go to Mexico he takes us to a topless resort which I was completely against but after to many drinks and non stop urging I took my top off and hated it. The next time he books a trip, again to Mexico it is at a clothing optional swingers resort (no we are not swingers)!! I told him numerous times I was extremely uncomfortable and I was not getting nude. He loved it! He said he felt free by not having to wear clothes, and he wishes I would let loose and show my body off. Again I told him how uncomfortorable it made me and it was like he didn't hear me. He even wanted us to be intimate on the rooftop while other couples were up there (i absolutly refused). Now he is wanting to book another trip to a resort where one side is clothing optional and the other is not. I tried to talk to him about it and tell him I was not getting nude and we got into a huge argument and have barley spoken since (that was four days ago). I don't know what to do, I feel like my husbands verson of "sexy" is trashy and wrong and I don't want any part of it, but he wont stop pushing me. I really need advice.

I cannot know what is going on in your husbands mind though DangerNerd may be right in what he said to you.


I am though a firm believer in than anything sexual has to be consensual on the part of both parties. It is plainly obvious you do not consent to being naked with anyone other than your husband or to having sex with anyone other than your husband and that it be in private.


Because of my belief of consent on the part of both parties your husband should abide by your wishes. In my mind forcing you to participate in going to these resorts, to taking of your top is tantamount to rape as rape is defined as forced sexual activity. Going topless can be considered a sexual activity.


What can be done about it. For one thing you have already pointed out that given your age differences your husband has more "Life Experience" than you do. That is no excuse for his behaviour.


The direction he seems to be pushing you in is going to harm your marriage if it has not already done so. My advice would be to seek marriage counseling and try to workout this problem. Hopefully the counselor can make him understand then need for consent and why he should not be badgering you to consent. At the same time you may find out why he feels your sex life need Togo in the direction he is trying to steer it in.


Through counseling you should be Abe to work this problem out. It is not insurmountable.

[view]

17/f . So last night my mom saw a hickey that my boyfriend of a year and 3 months had accidently left me and she flipped out and she said she didnt want over at my house anymore... i love him too much to let go but idk what to possibly tell my mom to make the situation better. Help please!!

Your mom may have overreacted. A hickey can just be a hickey or it can be a sign that something more intimate took place. This is most likely the problem you face with your mother. She is thinking that in order for you boyfriend to put a hickey on you wherever it was; you two engaged in more than just making out.


You first task is to assure your mom that nothing more than making out happened, if that is all that occurred. Don't try to tell her something didn't happen that did as moms' have ways of knowing the truth.


If you have been successful at getting mom to understand that nothing more than kissing happened. The next step is to ask you boyfriend to apologize to your mom for getting carried away. I know he will most likely be reluctant to do so. An apology will go a long way in moms eyes and hopefully restore her respect in her eyes for him.


The easiest way to defuse any argument is to say "I'm Sorry." Why? Generally when you say your sorry; whoever you are feuding with is disarmed as there is no comeback for those two word. These two words immediately disarm a situation even if the other person is unwilling to accept the apology.


In your situation I believe mom will accept his apology. She will probably warn him to not let it happen again and to not go any farther than kissing if he wants to continue to see you.


I've been a salesman for over 30 years. Whenever a customer had a problem whether it was with me, a product or the company I represented, I immediately apologize. Not only did this generally put out their fire, I usually was able to accomplish my goal in visiting with them. So try this with mom. I'm fairly certain if you approach her calmly this will work.

[view]

Is it slutty to send pictures of you in your underwear and bra to guys? I'm not fully naked so it has to be classy, right? What do guys think of girls who send them pictures? And is it cheating if the guy is in a relationship but I'm sending him pictures still?

First of all I don't like labels or words like slut or slutty their is no place for them in this world today and they should not be used. They are degrading.


More importantly IT IS ILLEGAL TO SEND OR RECEIVE NUDE OR PARTIALLY NUDE PHOTO'S OF ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. IT IS CONSIDERED CHILD PORNOGRAPHY. EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE THE SENDER OF YOUR OWN PICTURE YOU COULD BE CHARGED AS A SEX OFFENDER AND HAVE TO REGISTER AS SUCH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. THE SAME GOES FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND.


The social networks, like facebook and myspace are working with law enforcement to crack down on this type of pornography being sent over their networks. You can be caught and even if you delete the file from your phone or computer they remain hidden in a manner the police can restore them from.


That is all the evidence they need for conviction and then you are screwed for life.


Worse if anything is worse than that is the fact that once you send the picture you lose all control of it. Someone gets a hold of your boyfriends phone or you two break up and your picture gets distributed all over the Internet to every child molester out there.


Unfortunately there are child molesters living in every neighborhood; including yours. Do you want them to see you half naked.


Am I trying to scare you. You bet I am. Sending pictures or even giving pictures like that to a boyfriend is just plain wrong and dangerous. The Internet is full of pictures like this.

I've given you several good reasons not to do this so just don't do it.

[view]

So it's been 7 months since "Mother Nature came to visit" and when it use to come, it came heavy but painless. Finally this month it came, but SUPER light and full of pain (Cramps, backaches, nauseation, bloating). But just to be clear, I am a virgin. What could be wrong?! Please help me, I'm scared.

You have not said how old you are or when your periods started or how long ago that was. If you have just started to get your period a long gap between them is normal as is the problems you described.


There are three things I can offer in the way of advice.


1. Talk to your mother. She is there with you and she can help you. Your period is a bodily function that she shares as a women with you. So she knows what you are going through. This is not sex so this is not something that you should be embarrassed to talk to her about. Neither should you truly be embarrassed to talk to your dad about this problem. I can assure you your dad is well aware of a woman's problems with their periods.


2. Now that you are having your periods you need to be seen by a gynecologist for yearly check ups. If you have not yet seen a GYN then ask mom to schedule an appointment for you with her doctor or chose one for your self.


3. Unfortunately it is normal for a woman to have the problems you describe during her periods. If you feel that these problems are extreme and find it hard to deal with then see the GYN. There are medications you can be given to help regulate your period and shorten your period. To help deal with these problems.


Most importantly is talking to mom or dad. As a parent myself I can tell you our main calling in life is our children. Everything you have done, are doing and will do we have done or experienced before you. You've heard this from your parents, right. Well its true. We didn't just appear out of a bottle.


We want to help our children and at this stage of your life the problem becomes how to do so without invading your privacy. You have a right to a certain amount of privacy and most parents acknowledge this fact. So we wait for you to come to us.


Problems like you have brought to us are the type of problem you should be going to mom or dad with. As I said they are right there and know what to do to help you. Just because one of the advisers here say they had the same type of problem you write about; does not mean your problem is the same as theirs. Your parents and doctor know you best. They are the ones who can help you the best. So please take these type problems to then for your own best interest and well being.

[view]

Well i missed my period this month and im only 12 im worried cause i've always been not on time so there is this white stuff and like i have been fingering up there does that mean im pregent???????

At your age, not knowing how long you have been having your periods, it is quite normal to miss a period now and then. For instance if you have suddenly become very active in sports and are exercising a lot you will miss your period and your period may stop altogether while you are in training or exercising excessively.


To prove my point look at the women Olympic athletes. Some of them are as old as 18 and you may be better developed then they are. The reason for this is because of all the training they do. When they stop training their breast will grow and their periods will start.


It is also just after the holidays your eating habits may have changed, this too can cause a change in your period.


To get pregnant sperm must enter the vagina. You cannot get pregnant from fingering yourself. There is also nothing wrong with masturbation, fingering, it is a good, pleasant way to relieve the the sexual tension you are feeling caused by puberty.

[view]

Hi,I'm gay,male, twenty six,my 18 year old brother's also gay He's been caught by my mum making out with his boyfriend,what can I do?cuz I'd like to help but I don't know how,my bro's really sad and my mum has gone mental,please I need sb to help me,thanks!

You are both legally adults. Your mom has no more say in your sex lives than she does in what clothes you wear.


This is the starting point of any conversation you may wish to have with your mom. Their is nothing wrong with being Gay, Bi-sexual or anything else. As long as the sexuality of your life is one you consent to. Now that may not sound right but what I'm trying to say is as long as you are not being forced to have gay sex against your will, you meaning anyone, then it is your sex life and your sexuality. Mom's, Dad's, or anyone else have no right to tell you how to live your life.


Now just how to start this conversation with your mom is where the problem starts. The problem is that many people our age, I'm a few years older than her, believe our children become Gay. That being Gay is either a phase or an illness, not a sexuality they are born with.


Okay some of us know better most of us, especially very religious people, refuse to see this. Hopefully your mother is aware that you as well as your brother are Gay. Because your first task is getting your mother to accept that fact. The second task is to get your mother to accept that she is not a failure, that you are normal and that your sexuality is normal for you and your brother. You have to some how convince her that being Gay is not a phase and that you and your brother are not ill or have a mental illness.


I'm fairly certain that this is what mom is seeing or thinking. Until you can find away to get her to understand all this she is not going to be accepting of your sexuality or the life style that goes with it.


Society has changed its view tremendously towards, I'll use the word alternative sexuality just to cover all sexuality other than heterosexual. Unfortunately not all of society is willing to change but those that have changed have changed for the better. Those who have alternative sexuality and lifestyles live more openly and have better lives today than in the past. This is a good thing, but we need to do better.


I can't say you will succeed in changing your moms mind. But educating her is worth trying.

[view]

I live with a roommate who is vindictive and has a new problem with me every day. The newest one is that the house smells like ammonia and it's from my cats
I had the cats neutered and spayed and have had them in the house for 6 months. They have never peed anywhere besides the liter box and i change it 2timeson a day. My roomate text me telling me to take care of this ammonia smell and i knew she was lying, however when i got home i smelt ammonia that i never smelt before by the stairs. I strongly believe she bought ammonia and put it on the stairs to prove a point to me. I have been catching her in odd lies a lot lately and would like to know how i can prove the smell ia not from my cats.

Cats urine smells like ammonia but I do not believe it is actually ammonia. If the smell is that strong call the fire department. They have meters to tell how strong the odor is and if the strength is strong enough to be harmful to you. If so they will air out the house until the levels come down.


Should they find levels of ammonia high enough to force them to air out the house with their power fans then I would say it is not the cats and you should call the police.


You could if you want provided your name is on the lease, just ask her to move out. If she does not want to move out you will then have to legally evict her.


You would have to go to the Court House and request a notice of eviction against her. You would have to state why you want to evict her and their would be a hearing in front of a judge. You would then tell the judge of the problems you are having with her and ask that she be ordered to leave.


I would think the notice to evict would cause her to leave rather than have an eviction on her credit record.


If she is the person whose name is on the lease then the problem becomes yours as whether to stay or to go. Just proving to her she is lying to you is not going to change her or change your living conditions. If she is the one putting ammonia on the carpets she already knows this.


[view]

Well idk what to I basically have tried to watch my sister get dressed that didn't work i think I might try just looking in the shower when she us naked but is that legal to do that

Having sex with your sister is illegal, it is called incest. Spying on your sister in the shower is an invasion of her privacy it is not illegal. If your sister catches you expect mom or dad to come down on you like a ton of bricks for it is wrong. Though I can't think of any younger brother that hasn't thought of or even tried to see his older sister naked. You are actually quite normal in that event.


If mom and dad have not already sat down with you to explain the facts of life to you then they need to. For at 12 years old you are starting into puberty and what is causing your curiosity is the hormones now coursing through your body. Girls are no longer yucky and have be come the subject of interest and curiosity. So attempting to see a girl, your sister or anyone else naked is very normal.


Wanting to have sex with your sister is not illegal it is a fantasy that if acted upon then becomes illegal. I hope you understand that. It is okay to fantasize but you cannot always act out your fantasies.


Also at 12 you are way to young to be having sex. Their are other ways to relieve the sexual tension you may be feeling. I suggest you use the web to research way to do so. When you are much, much older and more mature. Capable of fully understanding the consequences of having an adult relationship. Then you can start to consider if having sex is the right thing. For now though you are way, way to young.

[view]

My Boyfriend And I Had Unprotected Sex. At First We Were Just Messing Around And He Wanted To Put It In Just To See How I Was So I Let Him And He Didn't Have A Condom. He Put It In Once And Then Took It Out. After We Just Used A Condom . He Said He Didn't Cum . He Said He Didn't Pre Cum Either . But I Read That Some Guys Don't Know If The Pre Cum'd Or Not.
He Said He Didn't Even Have A Boner But I Dunno .
I Havn't Had My Period In About 3 Weeks Now So.. I Don't Know If Im Preg. Or Not. Will Smoking Help Kill Anything If I Do ?

It is very possible you are pregnant. I suggest you get a home pregnancy test to see if you are. If it is positive then you need to see a doctor for confirmation.


What you read is correct. Most guys if not all guys will not know if the precum since it is intended as lubricant. The precum, as I think you know, has more than enough semen in it to impregnate you if all other conditions are right.


If your period is late for other reasons then pregnancy let this be a lesson to you. Unless you are trying to get pregnant or are on birth control never let a penis near your vagina unless it is wearing a condom. When I was your age the girls I dated had an expression; "no rain coat no nookie", and they meant it.


Even if you are on birth control it is wise to have your boyfriend wear a condom. First it is a second line of birth control. Second while a condom doesn't prevent the transfer of all STDs it does prevent some. It is just good safe sex techniques to use condoms until you are in a long term relationship or married.

[view]

My boyfriend and I were in a 6 year relationship before he passed away. A couple weeks after his passing I found out he was cheating on me with another women. I don't know much of what went on between them because he's not here to ask him. I don't know how long they had the relationship but it seemed from the messages I read it was pretty serious. I'm confused and I feel stupid because I thought we were perfect and nothing was wrong. What am I supposed to do? I'm grieving and the same time I hate him. I look at all the pictures of us and all I think of is him being a liar; I'm disgusted and disappointed in him. What do I do? How should I go about this? How should I feel? Female, 24

I'm sorry for your loss.


You have asked a tough question. One that I do not believe any of us are truly qualified to help with in a professional manner. It is tough enough to grieve over the loss of a loved one. To find out that you were also betrayed by that person is definitely hurtful and confusing.


I don't think confronting the other women is going to be helpful. In fact I feel if anything it will only add to your grief and hurt. To sit and suffer through this yourself is also wrong as you will not find answers that will help you.


I believe that the best thing you can do to help yourself through all this is professional grief counseling. There are two ways to find a counselor. One is to ask your doctor. The other is to call your insurance company's help line and ask for several names of psychologists in your area who specialize in grief counseling. These PHDs have to register with the insurance companies the types of practices they have. So this would be the quickest way to find a counselor you are comfortable talking with. If you feel you would prefer talking with a female tell them so.


Losing a loved one at such a young age is always hard. Then to find out you were betrayed as well is almost intolerable. Professional guidance here will help you get past this. Just be open with the counselor and have an open mid as to what she or he may offer.

[view]

I have the opportunity to sleep with a guy, but there are a couple things that Should keep me away from him (he's married and my boss) but at the same time, I'm running out of reasons not to go through with it. What are the pros and cons of doing so?

I don't see any pros here, though I see a host of cons.

1. Unless he owns the company you could both lose your jobs if found out. You will be found out as this situation almost always is.

2. HE'S MARRIED. THAT MAKES HIM OFF LIMITS.

3. Office romances or affairs always makes for bad relationships with coworkers who usually find out.

4. Being named in a divorce suit.

5. It may just be sex for now; what if you become romantically attached.

6. What if the relationship doesn't workout and he fires you. Then it is sexual harassment and you could break up his marriage if you sued.


The list goes on and and on. These are just six reasons to give him for not sleeping with him. If he says sleep with me or your fired. Refer to reason number six which would be in effect. Though only for harassment and not because you slept with him.

[view]

Hi!
My problem at school is that I'm not a well liked person. I don't know why. All of my class mates are weird, and get lower grades than me. Most of them don't care when they get in trouble or get bad grades in school. Also, none of the girls like me. I'm 13/m and I'm so unpopular and I want to at least be liked by all of my class mates,and I go to a catholic school, and it's not really easier making friends there and I've actually been there since i was 5 and my friends ditched me. Help!

Mackie3 has told you as it is. Let me put it nother way.


It's hard being the smartest kid in the class, especially when the others don't care if about their grades. I can assure you their parent scare and is at least one reason they may dislike you as you are not getting chastised at home for poor grades.


Being 13 would put you in middle or Jr. High school which is a social quagmire. Everyone is dealing with the effects of puberty, harder school work, greater expectations both at home and school and a new social order.


Will things ever change? Yes. At some point some of the girls will wake up and understand that the brainless jocks and the class clowns will never be successful in life. Never be able to provide for them as their parents have. That the smart boy, boys like you are the boys they should be dating.


I'm sure in your school there are smart girls who like you feel left out because they are smarter than the rest of their classmates. I would suggest that you try and find these girls and try and make friends with them. I believe you will not only find them very interesting bit fun to be with as well.

[view]

I'm 11,am I to young for my first kiss?I really like my bf but i feel i'll be making a bad choice if we kiss.By the way,i'm a girl!

Hi, Sometimes when you ask a question like this you have actually answered your own question. Anytime you question, it does not matter how old you are, if something you want to do is the right thing to do. The question is your internal safeguard telling you that this something may be unsafe or something you are not ready for.


In this instance I think your mind is telling you; Hey wait a minute, we're not ready yet to kiss boys. Boys are still yucky. Okay, I'm being a little silly in my description but the point is the same. You may not be ready for that first kiss and this is why you are questioning if this is a bad choice. For right now I'm going to go along with your warning system and say this is a bad time to have a first kiss.


This warning system I'm talking about will always be with you. Listen to it as it will keep you safe. When you question if something is the right thing to do it is a signal that it is probably the wrong thing to do. You could be hurt or get in really serious trouble; so don't do it. Rethink what your doing and see if there is a better way to do or to get whatever it is.


Now as for dating. Your 11 way to young to be dating. No disrespect but you need to be a little girl for a while longer. Give yourself time to mature and grow into the role of young adult teenager. It is okay to have a boy friend but not a boyfriend. Someone to walk to school with or ride the bus with but no dating.


One other piece of advice. The best person to ask this type of question is your mom. This kissing and dating is not sex so there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Mom has gone through everything you are going through and will have good advice for you. If you want the boys prospective on life at your age talk to dad.


As parents we may be old but we do remember what life was like when we were your age. If you ask us we will talk to you about our lives when we were your age. But you have to ask.

[view]

there was this one girl who worked at the tutor lab at my college. I used to get help from her a lot, she's the type of girl I really like. I really wanted to be her friend but I was too scared to talk to her now she's not there anymore and I am so sad, I wish I had talked to her more and really wanted to be her friend just like other people I know did. I am so miserable and mopey. Any helpful tips in making myself feel better?

The best advise I can give you is to learn from this experience. If this girl has graduated and moved on it is going to be a herculean task to try and find her. As another advisor said everything happens for a reason.


The reason here may be to send you a message not to be timid the next time you see a girl you like and want to get to know. As a life long salesman I can tell you that when someone tells you no they are not truly rejecting you; even in this concept. They are saying no for other reasons, even in this concept; one for which they do not need to explain. So do not take it personally.


As my mother use to tell me; there are plenty of fish in the sea, just keep fishing.


My advice: If you see someone you like, go up and introduce yourself and start talking to her. Being in college there are plenty of subjects to break the ice with. You may stumble the first time or two. Here again the old saying of practice makes perfect is in effect. So keep trying.


In college some people, especially girls, have rules by which they date. She may only date grad students, or students in her own major or year. In your case there may have been rules about a tutor dating a student she is tutoring. So unless you know for sure why a girl turns you down for a date never take it personally.

[view]

if you have anal sex can a girl get pregro

We get asked this question a lot. Only the womb, which is connected to the vagina can support a pregnancy. The rectum, ass, is connected to thebowel which is an entirely different system within the body and is not connected in any way to the womb.


The only possible way you could get a girl pregnant from coming in her rectum is for the semen to leak out and find its way to her vagina.


Frankly speaking the rectum is so full of bacteria I don't think any sperm would live long enough to make the journey should they leak from the back door and find the front door. Though as the saying goes anything is possible.


Curiosity question? Since we get asked this question so often just what to the teach in sex ed today?

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker