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My mom caught my brother and his gay lover making out! What do I do?
Hi,I'm gay,male, twenty six,my 18 year old brother's also gay He's been caught by my mum making out with his boyfriend,what can I do?cuz I'd like to help but I don't know how,my bro's really sad and my mum has gone mental,please I need sb to help me,thanks!
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The fact that your brother is gay is irrelevant. Unless your mother is berating him for being gay. Would your mother react the same way if your brother was "making out" with a girl in her house...?
If your mother is accepting and loving of you and your brothers sexual orientation she demands an equal amount of respect and love from both of you. I wish you defined his "making out" better, as well as "mum has gone mental". If he was simply holding hands or kissing, that seems minor. If he was having sex in a common area of the house, he was out of line. If he was in his private area, like his bedroom, then the mother was intrusive.
If your mother is not accepting and loving of you and your brothers sexual orientation he needs to be removed from her household. Either way, he needs to be a role model of love, tolerance, and respect.
He probably looks to you as a role model. His respect of his mother begins with you.
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You are both legally adults. Your mom has no more say in your sex lives than she does in what clothes you wear.
This is the starting point of any conversation you may wish to have with your mom. Their is nothing wrong with being Gay, Bi-sexual or anything else. As long as the sexuality of your life is one you consent to. Now that may not sound right but what I'm trying to say is as long as you are not being forced to have gay sex against your will, you meaning anyone, then it is your sex life and your sexuality. Mom's, Dad's, or anyone else have no right to tell you how to live your life.
Now just how to start this conversation with your mom is where the problem starts. The problem is that many people our age, I'm a few years older than her, believe our children become Gay. That being Gay is either a phase or an illness, not a sexuality they are born with.
Okay some of us know better most of us, especially very religious people, refuse to see this. Hopefully your mother is aware that you as well as your brother are Gay. Because your first task is getting your mother to accept that fact. The second task is to get your mother to accept that she is not a failure, that you are normal and that your sexuality is normal for you and your brother. You have to some how convince her that being Gay is not a phase and that you and your brother are not ill or have a mental illness.
I'm fairly certain that this is what mom is seeing or thinking. Until you can find away to get her to understand all this she is not going to be accepting of your sexuality or the life style that goes with it.
Society has changed its view tremendously towards, I'll use the word alternative sexuality just to cover all sexuality other than heterosexual. Unfortunately not all of society is willing to change but those that have changed have changed for the better. Those who have alternative sexuality and lifestyles live more openly and have better lives today than in the past. This is a good thing, but we need to do better.
I can't say you will succeed in changing your moms mind. But educating her is worth trying.
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You are both young adults and can now make decisions on your own. If your Mom is up set with this and you are worried you should exlain to her that there absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. Tell your brother not to be sad and that he didn't do a thing wrong. Just see how chatting with your Mum will do you good and will help her understand what's going on. Everything's going to be alright.
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