Member Since: April 24, 2014
Answers: 2
Last Update: April 24, 2014
Visitors: 425
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I'm not entirely sure where to begin. I'm a guy and I'm bisexual. There's a good start. I knew I was, well probably forever. Just the whole facing-reality part was taking a while. I'm now sure of how I feel and who I am. My question is how do I tell my family? My Mother is semi-understanding. She works at a college with many gay people. She accepts them, but still makes remarks and doesn't like to see them touching, kissing, etc. My oldest brother is very against gays. He thinks Lesbians are "okay". He's basically a tool. :) He would probably take the longest to be okay. My middle brother, I believe, would be pretty accepting. He's usually an a-hole, but he seems the most likely to be okay. It doesn't make sense I know, but it does if you were me. As soon as I tell them, I think I would come out to my friends, and then my highschool and then my extended family. I have told a few friends and they were completely accepting and it's a great start. But my family, well idk. Could anyone give advice or maybe tell me how their coming out went? Please and thank you! (link)
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Please stop predicting how your family will feel if....(insert situation here). You do yourself and them a grave injustice by doing this. You come off as someone that thinks very little of them, and you probably do. They will surprise you - I am sure of this. Give them a little credit.
Right now your family views gays, lesbians, and bisexuals as THEM.
Right now your family views you as apart of your family, not THEM.
You will be surprised how your family reacts when they can finally connect one of THEM with one of US. You become a personal face to a foreign situation which allows them to think differently about gays, lesbians, and bisexuals.
In this day and age, in this country, we may be approaching a \"AND SO\" moment when it comes to sexual orientation. Maybe I am blinded by my Californian residency. But I believe the day of acceptance is near and \"coming out\" may be irrelevant. Please take care of yourself, continue to grow and be self aware, and surround yourself with good people. You are a shining role model to many. More and more bisexuals need to \"come out\". No need to be ashamed. Its who you are and you were born this way. Over time your family will understand this if you continue to be a good person.
I came out as gay to my family after being in a secret relationship with a guy for 6 years. I went to great extremes to keep the relationship a secret. I worried what each of my family members would think if they knew I was gay. Gay =\'d feminine to my mom, dad, and sister. My uber-Christian sister hinted, and still does for that matter, that she \"hates the sin but loves the gays\". Bullshit. I came out via letter for fear of my mothers violence. I regret not having the balls to do it in person and it shows what kind of person my worries and assumptions made me. I ended the letter saying the ball is now in their court - accept me or lose me. My mother hid the letter and made me the \"bad guy\" to the rest of my family. While this did hurt, I allowed my mom to be responsible for HER behavior. It was the choice she made. Four months later she called me and attempted to repair the relationship. I know now how hard that call must of been. She had to get to know me for who I am, not who she wanted me to be. And I had a huge responsibility to the gay community as a role model. I am still with the boyfriend and we just celebrated a 25 year anniversary. Both parents have died, but our baggage was dealt with before they died. My sister could never really understand. She chose to keep me away from her 3 boys who are now fully grown adults with lives of their own filled with hatred towards gay people. A sad note to a upbringing within a \"loving religion\". But that was their choice in response to my honesty. I am not responsible for their choices.
I hope this helps. Best of luck to you.
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Hi,I'm gay,male, twenty six,my 18 year old brother's also gay He's been caught by my mum making out with his boyfriend,what can I do?cuz I'd like to help but I don't know how,my bro's really sad and my mum has gone mental,please I need sb to help me,thanks! (link)
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The fact that your brother is gay is irrelevant. Unless your mother is berating him for being gay. Would your mother react the same way if your brother was \"making out\" with a girl in her house...?
If your mother is accepting and loving of you and your brothers sexual orientation she demands an equal amount of respect and love from both of you. I wish you defined his \"making out\" better, as well as \"mum has gone mental\". If he was simply holding hands or kissing, that seems minor. If he was having sex in a common area of the house, he was out of line. If he was in his private area, like his bedroom, then the mother was intrusive.
If your mother is not accepting and loving of you and your brothers sexual orientation he needs to be removed from her household. Either way, he needs to be a role model of love, tolerance, and respect.
He probably looks to you as a role model. His respect of his mother begins with you.
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