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Should I sleep with my boss? He is also married... What should I do?
I have the opportunity to sleep with a guy, but there are a couple things that Should keep me away from him (he's married and my boss) but at the same time, I'm running out of reasons not to go through with it. What are the pros and cons of doing so?
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I think you both need to discuss what you want before you go any further. I have had a fling with a superior before and it was a case of yes he was spoken for and yes he was in charge, however we made the rules and boundaries clear from day one:
It stays secret
It doesn't affect work
Do not ask each other to leave the other person.
My own affair fizzled out after a few months. It made me learn that I was with the wrong person and nothing has been said about it since.
Have a discussion with him first. Find a way to protect yourself so that if it does get nasty your job is safe and also ask yourself what you want from it and bring it up with him.
My mother had an affair with her boss while she was with my father. It made her realize her marriage was over but she didn't want to continue the affair as she developed feelings elsewhere. She left that area of work eventually and moved on and remarried.
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I don't see any pros here, though I see a host of cons.
1. Unless he owns the company you could both lose your jobs if found out. You will be found out as this situation almost always is.
2. HE'S MARRIED. THAT MAKES HIM OFF LIMITS.
3. Office romances or affairs always makes for bad relationships with coworkers who usually find out.
4. Being named in a divorce suit.
5. It may just be sex for now; what if you become romantically attached.
6. What if the relationship doesn't workout and he fires you. Then it is sexual harassment and you could break up his marriage if you sued.
The list goes on and and on. These are just six reasons to give him for not sleeping with him. If he says sleep with me or your fired. Refer to reason number six which would be in effect. Though only for harassment and not because you slept with him.
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Lets start with the cons.
Cons:
He is married. That alone should be enough reason not too. Why would you want to sleep with someone who is married? He isn't yours, and he will never be fully yours. Your just 'that' girl to him. You don't want that.
He is your boss. If you have sex with him, and the sex is bad, or you grow feelings for him you will lose your drop. He has your job in his hands. He can do whatever he pleases, when he pleases. If his wife was to find out, and cause problems- he would take it out on you.
Your job is on the line. You do realize that if you got fired from that job or quit because you wouldn't feel comfortable around him- that when you do get a new job, you have to put him down as a reference or past job history. Your new job could call him and he could say, "Don't hire her, she slept with me, blah blah blah"
That'll ruin any chance of getting a new job.
You will be looked at as pathetic from co-workers.
Your running out of reasons to NOT go through with it? Are you being serious? You should be running out of reasons TO go through with it.
You wanna know what the pro's are?
NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING!
You should have some self respect for yourself, your morals, and your bosses relationship with his wife.
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Pros: you get laid
Cons: you look unprofessional, will probably lose respect from coworkers if they find out, will probably lose your job if a higher up finds out, might lose respect for yourself for sleeping with a married man, might potentially break an innocent woman's heart
Buy a vibrator and call it a day. Sleeping with him isn't worth it.
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Cons.
He's married.
He's your boss.
It's grossly irresponsible and immoral.
You are very likely to feel like crap about it in the future.
It might ruin your professional life, and could impact your personal life in traumatic ways.
A married guy who would sleep with his employee is fundamentally a person whose judgement is seriously questionable. Assuming that your married boss will sleep with you and then treat you well, is like assuming if that if you just let the crazed cannibal gnaw your arm a little he wont try to kill you in your sleep (ie, it's stupid to expect such a man who would treat his wife and employee in such a way, will treat you with respect and kindness in the future).
Pros.
None.
Nodda.
Not a damn single pro.
"Getting Laid" isn't a pro that requires your boss. It requires shaving your legs and and walking into the right bar in a short skirt, or hiring someone.
If you need to get laid that badly, and are willing to do something stupid and possibly harmful, go hire some crackhead off the corner. In the end, it would probably have less negative impacts on your life than fucking your married boss.
If you can form a sentence, you probably didn't need strangers to tell you that this was a dumb ass idea.
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Don't do it
1, This guy is your BOSS it is unprofessional and in many places against the job policy to have a coworker relationship. You having any sort of relationship with this man besides coworker relationship IS putting your job at sake.
2, This guy is MARRIED, Despite the possibility of him promising not to say anything shit happens and it likely will get out. Do you really want to put yourself in that sort of drama? When his wife finds out and questions him do you want to have fingers pointed at you?....You are allowing him to take advantage of you and why the heck would you disrespect yourself down to a level of booty call? Yes, This is exactly what you would be as again this man is married.
3, As your boss, This man can fire you at any given time. Having an inappropriate relationship is putting you in what will be a very awkward situation and if you were to get fired you would be jobless. In this economy.......I would hope that you would have the common sense to acknowledge that your boss is WRONG for trying to seduce you and not follow through with it.
Do you really want to put your job on the line?.........That is exactly where your heading. Smarten up
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