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we not dating and he wants to have sex witth me. If I give him sex will he date me then? I love him and want him to date me!
Hello I am 13 and this other guy is 13. We are both in the same class. He said he wants to have sex with me. I love him so much but he said he would date me only to have sex with him.I would do any thing to make him happen should I do it. Maybe he would want to date me after. I don't know can you help I am only 13 and do not know a lot about boys. Please help me. I need help.
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Bad idea to have sex so young. Especially if emotions are involved. It's confusing enough when you're older believe me. Women have a chemical that is only released in their systems when having sex or giving birth that instantly makes them feel deep love and conection. Men on the other hand often have all sorts of deep set commitment phobic issues that have been breed into them from years of trying to be masculine and unaffected to conker before they let themselves get emotional. They usually take longer to fall in love. Sometimes, they never feel any love or connection to a person they have sex with and the woman ends up feeling used and unwanted. I'm not saying all men are incapable of being in love if things get physical but your guy definitely sounds like the wrong type, especially at 13, I suspect not a lot is going through his heart or mind but getting into your pants, boys in their early teens are grateful for any naive girl who is willing to throw som their way, but they won't show any gratitude after, someone who wants to distance himself from emotional connection before he's even got want he wants will most certainly put do everything he can to put more distance still between you and himself after he's got what he wanted.13 is way too young to be dealing with those feelings. Guys will do or say anything for a quick fumble but if you know it will mean more to you and even more so if he has said as much, it really really isn't worth how you are going to feel after, right now - you have no idea how miserable it will make you, and at your vulnerable age it could be the start of a very messed up life. Please say no and wait for someone who genuinely cares about you. I know it's difficult but he really really isn't worth what your willing to sacrifice for his brief pleasure. Good luck hun
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Boys his age will tell girls anything they want to hear if it means they will have sex with them. Boys his age are in the early stages of puberty just as you are. The hormones racing around in him are causing him sexual tension and stress. He wants and needs sexual relief. To get this relief he will confuse lust and love and he will promise a girl almost anything she wants.
Having sex with someone in exchange for something is bad. In fact it is the definition of prostitution. If you have sex with someone in exchange for something of value real or intrinsic this is considered to be an act of prostitution. Not that you could be arrested for it, it is just the definition.
Is this the reputation you want to have. A girl that needs to have sex with boys in order to get them to be your boyfriend or date you. This is the type of reputation that gets around school very fast and is hard to live down.
Others have gone into the fact that you are to young so I will not go there except to say I agree with them. What I will say is sex is not something you want to use as a commodity to get you something. That is not what sex is all about. Besides being the way to reproduce it is also the most intimate of ways to get to know someone. It should be saved for someone you would like to spend a lifetime with.
I'm not saying you need to wait until your married to have sex. I'm saying to wait until your older. Until you are mature enough to find someone you may wish to spend your life with. Maybe you will, maybe you won't but this is when sex is right and loving. Not a wham Bam thank you mam for some guy who does not know the difference between lust and love.
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Well that's obviously not a good thing. He'd just end up using you. Even if you love him, he's probably not the right guy. Good guys don't ask girls to have sex with them and then maybe they'll go out with them. It's horrible.
Also, being 13 is really young to have sex. I mean it is your choice all the way. One, you're probably not physically ready but on top of that, I doubt you're emotionally ready. So much emotions are thrown at you once you have sex. At 13, it's hard to carry all of those emotions.
Then there are a bunch of problems that come with it.
Anyways, just don't have sex with a guy because you want to date him.
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First off, your too young to be having sex. Like you said you don't know alot about boys, so what do you know about sex? You do know that it only takes one time and you could get pregnant? People think, "Oh it will never happen to me" and it ususally does. Do you know that somtimes condoms aren't as affective as they claim to be? They can rip, or bust. More than likely, this little boy doesn't know alot about sex either. He must watch porn alot. Chances are he doesn't even know how to put on a condom correctly and that can cause you to get pregnant.
This is how I see it. If you cannot talk to your parents comfortably about sex or getting put on birth control, than you aren't ready to have sex to begin with.
Second off, this boy doesn't like you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't want to be with you. He wants pussy and thats all. You are 13, people your age don't know a thing about love. In a couple of weeks you'll be 'in love' with someone else. Watch.
Third off, ANY time a guy says, any of the things listed below means he is only using you for sex.
-If you love me, you'll have sex with me.
-He won't love you. He just wants sex. A guy will tell a girl anything to get her where he wants her.
-If you have sex with me, I'll date you.
-You can sleep with him, and yes he may date you, but I can promise you it won't be for long. I'm sure he's used that line to plenty of young and naive little girls.
-If you don't have sex with me, I won't be with you anymore/ love you anymore.
-He NEVER loved you to begin with. Let him leave.
If you ever come across any of the above, LEAVE HIM ALONE! HE IS NO GOOD!
And it looks like you have already came across the second one. Leave this boy alone. He doesn't like you, or love you. He just wants your goodies.
Forth off,
He wouldn't date you after. Why would he? He already got what he wanted, so he wouldn't see any more need in being with you. Unless he was only with you for sex, and the second you said No to having sex with him, he will leave.
I'm not meaning to be harsh with you, but I was 16 when I lost my virginity, and the guy manipulated me like this boy is doing you. I just hate seeing younger girls go through this, and thinking 'oh he really cares about me. I'll do anything for him because I love him'
Never ever ever ever ever ever give in to a guy unless you know his intentions are more than just sex. You need to be a chase. If he isn't around for the chase, than that means he won't be there after everything is said and done.
Please keep your virginity. I'm 20 now and the man I'm with was a virgin when he got with me. We've been together for almost 3 years, and he is my fiance. I feel so bad that I didn't save myself for him, like he did for me.
There isn't anything 'cool' about losing your viriginity. It makes guys look at you like your easy, and makes your classmates talk dirty behind your back. It's not worth it. YOu don't want to be older and your soul mate comes to you and askes how many sexual partners have you had and you said "18" or whatever;
Save yourself. It's precious not something you give away to ONE special person; but sometimes that doesn't happen. YOu think 'Oh he's the one' than something happens and you guys break up, and it just contines to happen. In love, sex, break up, and its a repeated pattern.
Just be smart.
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If this guy told you that he will only date you if you have sex with him, then he's a jerk and not worth your time. You're both 13 which is way too young to even be thinking about having sex. Especially because you had to ask if you should do it. You should consider what the consequences if you do have sex with him. It's really not worth it. I would move on and find a guy who has more respect for you. I hope this helped you :)
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okay so maybe you "love" this kid or maybe you don't. But from experience it is best to wait as long as possible to have sex. You might not regret it but you will definitely not regret waiting when you are older. It will mean more and chances are, your odds of having a solid relationship are better.
If you want to date him, make him work for it.no one deserves to be just a sex toy-unless they seriously want that of course. but you don't. you want a relationship if you think you really like this boy. There are good guys out there. And there are friends with benefits relationships out there too, but those only work if the feelings are the same toward one another.
Tell him straight up that you like him and aren't ready for sex and just want someone you can hang out with and go on dates for right now-at least until you are ready. If he doesn't take that with a spoon of sugar he isn't worth your time. Go out with your girls because that is much more important right now, and you WILL reaize this later in life.
That being said good luck with everything. Boys are extremely confusing and annoying...just wait until you get to college. And i certainly am not saying to but if you DO decide to engage in sex please get yourself updated on everything from STDs to birth control. I work in a doctors office interning so I've seen it all. There are Planned Parenthoods and free clinics everywhere that are not allowed to discuss anything with your parents unless you want them to. You can get condoms and birth control for FREE. I don't know where you stand on these issues but it's good to be aware.
From girl to girl, good luck. Enjoy your life and don't get caught up too much. Everything works out for the best! Just be careful and don't let any guy make you feel less about yourself.
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