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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

Okay so long story short, my parents saw an injured bird and helped it. They touched it. Well I wasn't there, but what if they have a disease now and I get it too? Do wild birds have diseases?

My daughter and I helped an injured bird in our yard before too. Never got ill.

If you visit any childrens petting zoo, the basic rules they teach you is that after touching any animals, whether wild or domestic or raised on a farm, is to wash your hands thoroughly after touching. A local petting zoo I visited with grand daughter recently had portable hand washing stations for use before exiting the farm after petting the goats, rabbits and chicks. These aren't even animals out in the wild and its still important to wash. So most likely being adults, your parents know this rule and washed their hands after handling it. Even if they forget, its not 100% guaranteed that we can catch a disease from touching a wild creature. We are more likely to get very ill from eating under cooked meat of a wild animal than from merely touching them.

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Hi, I'm 13 and my friend and I are trying out for field hockey tomorrow and I only have a pair of sneakers. I don't own any running shoes and I don't know what to do. My question is, is there a DIY I can do to make these sneakers a little more supportive for playing field hockey until I can get some real running shoes?

When my kids were young, our budget was all over the place being that dad was self employed. Sometimes we had the money and many times we did not. I checked withthe school counselors to see if there were any programs to help school age children. My local c ommunity had a "Clothes for Kids" program, donated 2nd hand clothing for kids of all ages, brand new socks and underwear and in some cases shoes. I would suggest checking with the school if there isn't some program like that in your area and state why you are asking. Even if you can afford it later by saving up for some time, thats still a strain if the family doesn't have the amount for a pair of shoes right now or next week. Basically, if you qualify for the free lunch program, theres a likelihood that you would qualify for such a program if there is one in your community.

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is xasten caplets good for breastfeeding mother's?

What ever a breast feeding mother takes in medication will be passed on to the infant. So it is important to let your doctor know when they prescribe you a medication that you are breast feeding. They are not assuming that all mothers breastfeed because until recently it had fallen out of fashion. OUr ancestor when going to the doc it was always assumed they were breastfeeding..it was a different time. So it's up to you to alert your doctor. If you didn't and have picked up the presciption already and now wondering or even if you starting taking, it is imperitive you call your doctor immediately to say you failed to let him/her know you are breast feeding and will this affect the baby adversely.

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Ok so i have this guy friend that i have been knowing since kindergarten. Almost every single time i talk to him he always has to ask about my love life. Like "Do you finally have a boyfriend?" or "who do you like?" or even about possible past relationships. The truth is that im not exactly one of those girls who throws herself at guys. I dont have a crush on anyone and i dont really attract attention to myself. But somehow i get attention that i didnt even ask for and from people i dont even look at romantically. I havent been in a relationship before(im 15). I think it has to do with self confidence issues. I dont think of myself as attractive despite the compliments i am given its kind of hard to accept them. My friend has a girlfriend that happens to be my bestfriend. I support their relationship and happy for them. He just feels like he has to kind of rub it in my face that he's in a relationship and that im not and goes out of his way to tell me details of their relationship and his feelings for her when i dont even ask. He starts to compare me to my bestfriend. My bestfriend is for the most part a "bad girl" who swears alot, has been in other relationships, kinda perverted, and slightly tempermental. Then there is me who is basically known as "goody two shoes" around the school who is on honor roll, and kind of tries to stay out of trouble. He says im "too good" and "too nice to people" or "too bubble" He even goes to the extent of saying im "lonely" (when i assure him im not) and i even broke it down to small details of what kind of guy i would end up dating and he would be like. There has been people that has came to me telling me that my friend likes me but i dont believe it because 1. If you like someone you wouldnt want them to be in a relationship with someone else 2. He has a girlfriend that he seems to be really into. What frustrates me the most is that this is my guy friend's first gf and whenever they get into it and break up for a short time he starts clinging to me trying to talk to me more but also at the same time he will be a total jerk to me just having this attitude and being rude to me in particular but also being somewhat possessive. Its VERY confusing. But when they get back together he treats me like IM the one that is clingy to him and starts saying "i need a boyfriend" and makes it seems like im bothering him and he gets very arrogant. Mind you i don't talk to him unless he comes up to me and starts a conversation or calls/texts me. Im just kind of questioning our friendship a bit and totally confused about everything.

Wow, he sounds like an insecure guy thinking he's doing a good job of hiding that fact. People at your age have all sorts of hang ups...I did....its a time we are not totally happy with our selves, trying to find out who we really are, confused all the time or just copying others, we want to be wanted and accepted by others but the people we want to be accepted by have lives full of their own set of troubles of teenhood and pretend to have a clue, mostly acting the part but are no better off than the rest. That about sums up what I remember and I know its not any different today.

When you get older, and look back, you will realize that a real 'friend' does not treat their friends the way this person is treating you. So he doesn't deserve the title "friend'. He is an acquaintance growing up. We all have some of those and these acquaintances never become friends because the acquaintance doesnt have things in common and we are not looking out for the best for each other as true friends do. While in school, or while living with such a person for a neighbor, its hard to escape running into them. The best thing is to stop talking to them or spending time with them to cut them out of your life as much as possible. Once you're an adult and can choose where you go to college, where you live or work, you won't have to see this guy anymore popping up into your life.
In the mean while, ignore him. If he asks why you are avoiding him, you tell him that just cus you've known him a long time does not mean he is a significant person to be a friend of yours and you have decided, you no longer want to spend time with anyone who doesn't meet a certain standard for how they treat you. You are only looking to divide your time among true, real, good friends cus you have had enough of fake friends, false friends, and those who treat you badly friends. PUt it in your own words cus that should get the message across if he asks.
I would also look at why you have this one girl for a friend when the two of you have nothing in common...and she is pretty much the opposite of you. Tho opposites can attract, at 15, our will power to overcome and not be influenced by someone whose lifestyle is not the path we want to walk, can be very weak and after some time unable to resist. I'd be concerned of that happening to you at some point in time if you continue to hang with her.
All in all, I recommend finding a whole new set of friends, other 'goody two shoes'...I was called the same in school, look for the other high grade point students for friends in school. They may not end up friends for life, but it's good enough for during school. Look for the nerdy types more into science and technology. These students are more likely to not be worried about impressing others with their personal self, but focus more on their personal skills and accomplishments. There are always others like you, its just hard to spot them if you're not really looking cus we tend to fade into the background a bit, not easily visible.
You did describe me quite a bit with not throwing self at guys, not a low self condifence but not thinking there was anything special enough to attract male attention so wondering why I still got it. The attention I got was always to do with how I looked rather than who I was and my personality. I got my bum swatted by a guy in the crowd exiting school at the bell quite often. I guess I musta had the kind of behind that got guys attention, or maybe it was my walk. I was not trying to attract attention but I didn't know then and do now that boys that age are driven by their raging hormones. It is not unusual for them to have a need to masturbate several times a day because they become erect so easy, at the drop of a hat, they don't even need a girl around, just a thought of a female and they're hard and it wont go away. So they are prone to think of sex and lust rather than love, and dating.
If a teen actually does feel love and attraction for someone, they will do everything but come straight out with it, do even the opposite and treat the objection of their affection poorly, try to make them jealous by dating and talking about another, the kind of things you're having to endure from this guy. Only you would have a sense if he's just being a jerk or if theres a possibility he does have a crush on you.
You could always try to ask him point blank and if he says he doesn't, just tell him you dont believe he doesnt have feelings for you cus of the way he is treating you. Then challenge him to prove he has no feelings for you by stopping contact with you, stopping what it is you dont like....spell it out. That should get either a true confession from him or his withdrawal from your life, leaving you alone for good. Good luck.

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Dear Vikki

I'm 24 and from South Africa. I have been in a relationship for almost 7 months now and before that we were only friends. I love him a lot and care about him a lot, but at times I feel that my insecurities gets in the way and it ends up in us having an argument about something small and stupid. See we have a long distance relationship at the moment and it is mostly when he cannot have decent conversation at night because his busy and then I start thinking "maybe he doesn't want to talk to me" , "maybe he doesn't find me interesting anymore and he will leave me for someone else" and I do know that he cares for me a lot and that he loves me and as soon as I think I have these feelings under control, it creeps in again. I don't want to lose him, because I was insecure and clingy. I never was like this in the beginning. I was cheated on before and most of the times it is when I'm away from him, when we are together, I don't have it and because of this it makes things hard for me. I care about people real fast and they can actually hurt me with words. How do I get past this? How can I get past my insecurities and not be clingy when I feel like these emotions are creeping in? I'm not jealous when it comes to being his girlfriends, because I know what type of guy he is. I know he will never cheat on me, but because I don't always see myself as beautiful, I'm sometimes afraid he will leave me for someone more beautiful than me. The guy that cheated on me used to say to me, that I shouldn't think that someone can love me, because there feelings will change. I was so deeply hurt.

Is there any advice you can give me? Guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to that I don't know personally!

Thanks!

I'm not Vicci, but I am supposing this was passed on to my inbox which is something an advicegiver can do if they aren't sure how to best answer you.
The subject of relationships, and problems in relationships is too big and widespread of a topic to make it easy to answer. Your's is not easy either, because we can't possibly know everything..just the highlights that you share.

For example, one example that makes it hard for me to help is your comment about having been cheated on before. The piece of info missing is whether you are saying you were in a real face to face relationship and cheated on, and that factor is what drove you to go for what seemed like a safer relationship experience via the internet/phone long distance, OR are you saying that you were cheated on in a LD relationship on the computer?
You admit to having insecurities. One being clingy. Is that because someone told you that you were clingy? Most people who are clingy do not realize they are coming off that way, so I find it curious you could state that.

Just because some person has a certain view or way of seeing life and their own twist on things does not mean that what they believe is TRUE. It would seem to me that a guy who tells you that you should not expect love because a guys feelings can change, is either very inexperienced in how to deal with other people one on one, or very immature. He likely has trouble in many different types of relating, like with family, friends, coworkers, boss, other students, teachers...etc. I am guessing his assumptions are born from a person with a lazy attitude in life, not willing to put in time to learn how to be good at relating with people, with the opposite sex and knowing what are the do's and dont's of dating, etc... so he says what ever fits his outlook on life, it's his own made up rule about life, that feelings will change and that is to give him an excuse to break up with a girl without any regret cus "his feelings changed. It could be a cover up for him being a guy who gets a thrill out of the chase and once he has a girl, he doesnt have to chase anymore and it becomes boring, "his change in feelings' and he breaks up or cheats. Others have no self control. Even girls can see many guys who look sexy to her but she isn't going to bed every sexy guy she meets if she is dating someone or married. The sex drive doesnt turn off when we meet someone "thank God" or we wouldn't want to or be able to please and be pleased by our partner. And because the sex drive doesnt turn off when we meet someone and date or commit to them or marry, we will still be turned on and feel attraction to others we see of the opposite sex. Thats where self control comes in. Also there has to be a certain depth of love for a person to not want to stray. For example, my 2nd husband is more content being in my presense than apart from me. He is not dissatisfied with any part of me, my personality, my deep beliefs and strengths, my looks, (he not only tells me often that I have the exact body shape he dreamed of as a young boy when thinking of the woman he'd marry someday, but I can catch that look in his eyes when he's watching me, thinking I am not seeing it and his eyes darken with desire...whether its when I first wake, when I am dressed in comfy clothes or dressed up, doesnt matter.

Relationships are hard enough in person but doing in long distance is even harder. I only support long distance if it is going to be temporary and the two have had a relationship in person face to face for a length of time before having to part and do LD, like one leaving town to go to college or a spouse going in the service, or such.
Otherwise, an online relationship, LD or other is nothing more than 'theater of the mind'. What I mean by theater of the mind is that all the things that you miss out on, your mind has to imagine and what it imagines is nothing like reality. You could also be misled by your imaginings of how he keeps house, how romantic he is, what his touch feels like, etc...and actually in real life he could be irritating, nothing like what you 'imagined'. There may even be no spark or chemistry. I know this to be true from even dating in my area. Meeting online, using the pc only as a tool and talking online no longer than a week before meeting in person. Even in that short time, from what he said in calls, in chat online and what I interpreted his words to mean, I found many who were nothing at all that I imagined...and some were outright liars as I came to see when we met. I had a list of what I was looking for in a guy. Be able to meet everything on the list or dont bother contacting me...so they lied. But you need to know what you are looking for and make no excuses for it. Guys will call you names, too picky...you'll be single forever, you're a terrible woman, not worth my time...and guess what those are guys who weren't worth your time anyways, you just rules out a bunch of duds like the one who cheated.
Know what you want, learn to love who you are you're strengths and weaknesses. If you find the right guy, your weakness will not be an issue for him for he will cover you where you are weak knowing you have strengths he doesnt have and are covering him as well. Thats how it is for hubby and I. There is no mistake or weakness that could ever make us impatient, angry or upset with each other because we know we are only human and love each other, even with all our spots and wrinkles. Thats what you are looking for. You need to learn to recognize what a person like that looks like and acts like. You may not have had any good male examples in life yet so look for good male role models. Best right now, get on you tube and look for dating do's and don't for women, also pretend you're the guy and look for the same for guys to get an idea of what a good guy should be like. Look for videos on relationship advice, etc...theres lots on there and I keep sharp by going through them all often enough.
I hope this helps you some. If you need help with any more specific aspect, let me know and I'll see what I can do. Good luck my dear. And keep in mind, theres a lot of frogs you have to go through til you meet your prince charming...I had to before I met my 2nd husband.

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Good morning or good afternoon guys! I need help. I'm f23 and my bf is 24. We have been going out for quite a whole now. I love him but my insecurities are kicking up. There's this girl who likes him and they talk quite a lot. They have better conversations than me and him do and they talk for hours o the phone. I know all that cuz I've looked at his phone. He tells me he doesn't like her but somehow I feel like I'll loose him soon. Now this girl is was smarter and thicker than me and trust me that's a fact. I feel like I need to get out of the relationship so I can work on my insecurities. I've talked to him about it but he just says she's a friend but how is she just a friend when they have better conversations and talk for ours than me and him do. I need advice on what to do. Thanks in advance

One of the things you need to have a good relationship is to have the person that is right for you, fits you and your personality best, so when you say that someone else has better conversations, I am not going to assume what that meant but will share this instead.
After a divorce, I began dating again and this is of course at a much older age than you but still rings true. I met some guys with whom from the first moment conversation just flowed. And others where the conversation died too often and we couldnt think of anything to say or trying to get him to talk was like trying to pull teeth. I find that rather than conversation being better, its a matter of whether conversation exists and flows easily, or is stunted and dies. It either exists or it doesnt. If it doesn't, there is a chance that the two people do not have enough chemistry and things in common together. thats what I personally found to be the culprit.

So you need to be honest with yourself as to whether that is the issue for your relationship or not. Apparently he must like you for some particular reason even if conversing is not where you think it should be.
Some guys do have female friends and that is all they are, just female friends.
The only way you can develop trust in him which is right now lacking due to insecurities being present, is to have enough time and situations invested in the relationship to have experienced many different sort of things that in the living through them, you develop a sense of who he really is, not just who he says he is...
and this can be evidenced by how consistant he is in his moral character and makeup, sticking to his beliefs, his treatment of women, his ideas, and so on. If he had never done anything contrary to what he has said or promised, then there is no reason to mistrust him. So it comes down to either you are going to feel insecure no matter who the guy is because the problem is inside you. It may take a counselor to help you discover what it is. Or the problem may be the that "quite a while" period you've been together has not been enough time to build trust. A few months of dating is hardly enough time. Even a year is not enough time if the couple only see each other for short dates once a week. ...and the dates are going to a movie or something like that where there is little interacting. What you need to know is what he is like, his character 24/7 and unless you are spending lots of time hanging out able to see what he is like when sad, when sick, when stressed, etc...you won't really know him yet.
You did not say whether you are shy, quiet or have social insecurities. Someone like that may have trouble doing conversations. If that is you, perhaps he is being kind in not pushing you to be something you are not and if he is a very chatty person, just directs it in another direction.
There's that saying that opposites attract. Perhaps thats what you have hear. Instead of focusing on what things you don't match up on, focus on what you do have in common and slowly try out the things each other has or does that differs from you. Thats part of where the fun and excitement comes from, broadening your circle of experience by trying new things with a partner.

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Here's a picture of me: http://i.imgur.com/e2uF7w6.jpg

I have a stupid haircut and i don't look good.

I have no idea what hairstyle would look good for me, but could someone tell me what hairstyle would look best with my face? Every time I've asked this, people have just made fun for how I look; I know I'm ugly, but I just want legitimate advice as to what would look good for me.

Hon, you are definately not ugly. You have a handsome face and very striking blue eyes, or at least they looked blue on my computer. Either way, still expressive eyes.

The problem with your current style is that you have a long narrow face. there's nothing wrong with your face, thats its natural shape. So any cut that brings the hair straight up as yours is, only visually continues that up and down visual line making the face seem to be even longer than it is.

It seems that you may have thick hair which is good if you could grow it out and have some at the sides visible to bring the visual view away from vertical to more horizontal so you have a more balanced look.



If your only hair is just at the top section and nothing on the sides, the only remedy is to get the buzz cut, shave it all off and wait for it to all grow out evenly all over. Once it is long enough to do something with, go into a hair cutting salon and ask to see books of examples of haircuts for males with long narrow faces.(its costs nothing to look and get ideas and get the opinions of hair stylists.)
If you are asking friends and others who don't do this thing for a living, they are not going to have a clue and be unable to help.
All young people worry about their image and lack self confidence, don't worry dear, you are a very good looking guy. Just remember that we all are always more critical of ourselves than others will be, barring a few peers who are still immature and havent grown up yet. I am in my fifties and can say that throughout my life, I had short bouts of feeling self conscious about how a new haircut or outfits looked on me. Its normal to be concerned on how to present ourselves in a way that shows off our attributes in the best way, like a painting is enhanced by the frame it is put in. We have to take into account, our skin color, our body shape, hair color, eye color, and even our personality. Wearing a style that suits your personality is important as well. It takes time but we learn all that over time if we are paying attention.

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period came on having sex its six days early how to get rid of itcame on today

You can't make a period go away just because it starts at an inconvenient time where you plan to have sex.
I will say from experience that during the first day or two or very end of period when flow is lighter, that the action of having sex will actually make the flow stop temporarily, but thats AFTER you begin to have some real good honest sex, with orgasms, not a little fingering with no orgasms.
Some guys don't mind. Some do. Its a personal preferance thing for them.
Although in young boys and men who have not experienced it yet, they may feel squeamish and not want to try or be repulsed. Married men who monthly see a wife having a period get used to it, and the smart ones, don't let a little blood hold them back from being able to love on the wife.
Its different for two singles who are not fluid bonded. There can be valid concern of your blood carrying blood born disease. If this is someone who is not going to be a regular partner, then just don't have sex at that time. If it is someone special, then both of you get checked out health wise to make sure neither of you have anything that can be passed on and once you both have the bill of clean health, then enjoy yourselves.

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Would a guy have sex if we had our periods ?? I know there's a lot of different opinions in this, but for all the guys out there does it turn you off ? Or are you guys fine with it ? What are your thoughts on periods ?

I am female and out of any guys I was close enough to have sex with after divorcing the ex who didn't like sex during periods, I found 3 who not only liked it but 2 of the 3 looked forward to it.
It really is just personal preference for the guys, just as stuff like anal sex, oral sex, etc.

You will obviously hear things like "its messy, it's gross, it's dirty, it smells or it's unhygienic or uncleanly.

Here's the comments I have gotten with the 3 the first time I said I had my period. "Thats fine with me. I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable or embarassed about it." "Do you know that to me, having sex during menstruation is almost like a spiritual thing to me, honoring and worshiping woman for her life creating abilities of which the period is a good reminder."
"YOu've got your period? Great, I love it cus we won't need to use lube!" "Don't worry, I love everything about you. This is part of you, so I have no problem with it."

What did I learn from having sex during my period?

My sex drive was not diminished in any way.

If it was the very beginning or very end of my period, once we started having sex, the body stopped the flow temporarily. As soon as we were done for say 10 min or so, the flow started up again. It was something I didn't know my body was capable of.
Laying towels out on the sheets made me feel more at ease, about not making a possible mess and towels are much easier to toss into the wash than stripping the whole bed.
The flow helped as lubrication to start.
If I had a heavy flow mid period, that was the only time it would be messier. Only once did it real really bad. After lovemaking I mentioned, I can smell blood really strong. We turned on the bedside light and discovered we both looked like there'd been a massacre! LOL we both were covered in blood from chest to knees and on hands and fore arms too. We laughed and went and took a shower.
The only reason ages ago women went sent to a separate hut while menstruating is that they didn't have the facilities we have today to keep ourselves clean.
Blood doesnt have a smell until it hits air, so the only smell is really what we smell of what has collected over time in our pads.
The only concern for a guy if he is going to be fluid bonded with you is whether you have any STDs or any blood born disease he could catch. Otherwise, blood itself is not dirty or uncleanly.
Just make sure to be showered so that the other area doesnt smell bad from wearing a pad and go for it. If you want to start with oral sex, thats do-able too. Just put tampon on, then freshen up. Have the oral sex, he can pull out the tampon and then enjoy the rest.

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Hey. I have a problem that I really need help with. So I got out of a relationship with a guy a couple months ago and I was really heartbroken about it, then a couple weeks ago a friend of mine said that he liked me and asked me to be his girlfriend. Me being the idiot I am, said yes. I thought I liked him and it would help me get through the breakup with the other guy, but now I realize that I really don't like him. Also, I won't see him at all in person so I need to break up with him over text. Please help me. What do I do. Helpppp

I want to get straight what you are actually saying when you say " I thought I liked him " and "but now I realize that I really don't like him."

You said he is a friend of yours. You really kinda have to "like" a person if they are going to be your friend. For example, your girlfriends are your friends because you like them right?
So I can only assume you did not mean the word like, but that you meant that special chemistry, ie romantic attraction is missing.

It may truly be missing, or it may be there but because you have been friends for so long, he's got stuck in the friendship rut and its always hard for a girl to see a male friend as someone she could develop strong feelings for. Sometimes you can if he is given a chance. Other times it doesnt work. A few kisses can tell. Either it will feel like you are kissing a brother or a sweetheart. Some people feel flames of love and passion right at the start, which could totally take the stage and not allow for time to develop a friendship. Some relationships start out as best friends and a coal is ignited and slowly burns stronger and finally becomes a wild flame for the other. Both in the end are just as strong and real, just start differently. The reason I tell you this is just in case there might be something more there.
All successful relationships have both, the close friendship and the romance parts.

If you hardly ever see him in person, I wonder how it is he even asked you to be his girlfriend. If he lives far away, no matter how great a guy, a relationship like that cant grow cus of little time spent together in person. An on line relationship is lacking in so many things that it is for most parts occuring in the theater of the mind/your imagining it. So in case he lives too far away, even if it was a different guy, I'd still say, wait for someone who lives close whom you can interact with on a more regular basis.

One thing I think you may be realizing is that it isn't a good idea to use someone to help you forget another person, especially a friend. Since this friend asked you to be a girlfriend, he wasnt trying to help you take your mind off the other, he actually was making his move since you were single again and he has been attracted to you as more than a friend. So to say yes so quick without thinking of his feelings is going to really hurt him.
And if he is a friend you've known and seen in person then the best way to break up is in person and be truthful that you were too hasty and not thinking of his feelings. Embarrassing having to confess like that but at least he will still have respect for you that you are at least owning up to what you did and apologizing for it. Although, if the person you want to break up with is a cyber friend and although you have met in person it is mostly all cyber, then since the majority of what you have done is on line, then if you have No chance of seeing him in person and him believing you are his girlfriend for month after month, then, perhaps you will need to write to him on line.
My opinion if your male friend, now your boyfriend, is supposed to be mostly an online boyfriend, that in my opinion is not a real relationship to begin with so i feel the way of accepting or breaking up is just not going to be able to be done the same way as face to face relationships.
If you must text him, then be honest, mention your hastiness, not thinking straight since you were still grieving loss of the first guy, and admit you took advantage of him as a friend, thinking only how it might help you and forgot to consider his feelings. Now that you have accepted, you realize it wasn't fair as you see him only as a friend and have no feelings of romance toward him. Or if you are willing to give it time to see if feelings develop but don't have any at the moment, then i Would also be honest about that. In that case you could say that you cherish his friendship so when he asked, you were willing to try being his girlfriend, that at this time, you don't feel any romantic feelings towards him but are willing to see if they develop over time.

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20 Female

So I met this guy on twitter and after a few months we started flirting. He wanted a good full out blown flirtationship so we did that. At first we would just flirt but slowly he started sexting me and soon I developed feelings for him. I told him I liked him and he told me, "I think you're so perfect for me, I wish I could make myself love you." A few months later he got a girlfriend but kept on lying to me that they are "just friends" so that I will continue sexting him! I found out and we had a fight and he said he didn't want to "hurt me" so he didn't say anything. I stopped talking to him and I took me about 3-4 months to get over him. A couple days ago he started texting me back and we were just talking as friends when he said, " if I ever end up meeting you, we're gonna be really busy because no matter what I do, the attraction we have between us will never ease up!" He later on told me that he doesn't feel sexually aroused with a woman like he does with me! First I was so happy because somewhere I still loved him but then I lied that I had to go somewhere. He's planing on having a mutual sexting session tomorrow and I'm scared...i don't know if it's because I think I'll fall in love with him again or the fact that I'm bisexual and I have a crush on a girl. The reason why I lied was because I remembered he has a gf, but honestly I could careless because it's not like I'm actually sleeping with him! Another words, him being in a relationship isn't the point! Idk what to do! Or how to politely tell him that I can't decide the reason as to why I'm scared to sext you! Because I just told him it wasn't awkward at all.

Its okay if you want just sex without love or commitment or even just the pretense of sex.

However, if you want a real relationship with the love and commitment part, you're going about 'getting the right guy' the wrong way.

First you need to realize that anything on line, over the phone, texting, sexting...is not a real relationship. What makes it feel so real is the same thing that makes a sad movie cause you to cry. And that is your emotions.
Strict on line relationships fill an emotional need for people who are shut ins, ill, disabled mentally or physically, elderly and lonely.
If you are non of these, there is no need for you to go this route for it will never be full on real. For being able to watch his facial response to you talking, sound of his laugh at your joke, the touch of his hand, his kiss, etc.... you have to use your imagination. A real relationship must be a face to face one, because thats also the only place that each person can have the opportunity for experiences and the consistancy of who and what they are as a person in order for you to be able to build trust with each other. There is no trust in anything other than face to face, no commitment, no deep in love with, lack of ability to check for chemistry because it is all taking place in the realm of illusion in your mind.
If you are too afraid to have a real face to face relationship, then stick with this but you can not expect love, truth, trust and commitment from this guy.
If you decide you do want those things, then simply stop communicating with him. When he texts or calls, just don't answer. Or go one better, block him.
Good luck dear.

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I'm thinking about sex constantly I need a girl to have fun with please give me feedback don't be harsh.

Dont know what you consider to be harsh. If harsh to you is my speaking honestly and truthfully my opinion, then you won't want to take time to read my answer.

I will not sugar coat for you but give you some things to think about and consider. So first off I will state that under the right circumstances, I have no problem with teens having sex. At least you are writing in to ask so thats a good start.

It's not just boys but girls too who write in about being so horny all the time suddenly.
Thats a normal part of our development when puberty hits. Its a time our bodies begin to change because of the flood of hormones hitting us and thats where those urges come from.

One of the main problems I want you to realize is that boys and girls have different ways of handling those urges for the most part because of the different ways they view sex.

Would you say that as male, you see having a sex partner as a natural way to take care of a physiological need? Sure, makes sense.

Most females however see having sex as a natural outpouring of deep feelings between two people, the kind that come with love and commitment.

This will be true at any age, even older people.

I do know that there are girls who are different from the norm i just spelled out, but they are few. They initially just crave the sex and worry about a relationship later, just as there are a few guys who no matter how horny, want to find a girl they fall in love with first.

The love we have during teen years is not the kind that will last a lifetime but for the time that the teen couple w ere together was real/genuine.

When girls write in and say they are horny, non of them ever ask me how to find a gut to have sex with. Isn't that odd? No. They want to know how to get their hands on a vibrator or dildo to take care of their urges. They have the same strong sexual feelings guys have but take care of it through masturbation for a couple reasons....

one being, she has to worry about becoming pregnant, how does she get contraception, how does she stay safe from STD's.
and two being, her heart isn't interested in any guy deeply enough to want to share this with him yet.

A few smart ass guys think, hey...the girls want commitment and love so I will ask her to be my girlfriend, (thats the commitment part) and tell her I love her (even though I don't have any deep feelings for her) and she may trust the guy enough with her heart and feelings to go ahead and have sex, only to find he leaves her to go to the next experience, going to any girl who will give him sex. Or a guy tries to talk her into sex by telling her that she needs to prove her love to him by giving him sex. That is mental manipulation and an abusive way to treat someone. the female is so scared of losing what she thinks is the "commited loving guy who only wants her" so she gives in.

All these examples create a bad reputation for you that gets around quickly...because girls who are used by teen boys your age for sex, tricked by them, forced by them, lied to by them are all going to be hurt and warn others. Soon a guy who was getting sex under wrongful circumstances is not getting any at all cus the women are all avoiding him.
The best thing you can do, is to take care of your urges sexually by masturbation for now. And focus your attention on finding and dating a girl for the right reasons, because you want to find someone you are sexually attracted to whose company you enjoy even without sex, you love everything about her personality, and aren't afraid to let your feelings for her develop, and when that happens in you, she should be able to sense it too and if both have good communication together, then you both talk about whether you're both ready to have sex the first time together and actually plan it. That way you are able to be ready with birth control, both her on pill and you using condom to prevent STDs. This is the way to ensure having a long lasting girlfriend, because you treat girls well, and the side benefit is having a good sex partner.
You may be still young but its time you learned what works most successfully in the real world.
If you don't land a girl friend right away, don't worry. As long as you are sincere in how nicely you treat the ladies, they watch closely and will take notice and it won't be long before you are very popular with the girls and every one of them wants to be your girlfriend. dOnt make the mistake that just because they are so plentiful and interested, to drop the commitment to one only thing and indulge in sex with as many as you can get cus again that will backfire, you get branded as a user, and you end up the loser. It isn't worth it. So until you are ready to go the route I mentioned, dont look for a girl and masturbate instead.
Actually to be truthful, even if you do find a girlfriend who may become your sex partner as well, for young men, the urges are so great that they will still masturbate besides. And that is also normal.

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Im 24 I was in an life or death accident and a couple of guys saved my life. I'm have contact with one of them and recently called me. He says ever sense that day he has feelings for me. Except I know he is about 6 years old and not to mention he is married. Is it possible this is true? Can it because of the accident? I'm not sure how to handle this appropriately.

Razhie is right...think about it for a moment. He made a commitment to some women and married her. If you were married and your husband saved someone's life, other than a one time thank you conversation, would you e.ven feel comfortable if your husband was keeping in touch with that women he saved? She owes him nothing, he owes her nothing. And no, it can't be passed off as a nice gesture to keep in touch. This guy is really doing this all for his own benefit. There's nothing wrong with his age...its his marital status. A man who is not fully happy and satisfied in his own marriage will start fantasizing about others and apparantly that is what he has done using you for fantasizing about.

One can not develop true deep feelings of love for someone they know nothing about. If they have been using their imagination, using their subconscious mind where all our feelings are stored, it can feel quite real, its the same realness you feel when watching a sad movie and begin to cry, because your subconscious mind was emotionally pulled in. He is the one who nurtured his imagination and it got carried away.
Then to contact you and confess this to you...is totally inappropriate. Why was he thinking, that you would say, Oh my! I have feelings for you too! Would you divorce your wife and marry me?
What was his statement supposed to do? Did he hope to start a real affair with you? All of that is not right. It is not because of the accident dear.
You need to learn how to w atch out for guys like this in dating. They have no backbone to deal with the issues at home. Its few women who are true bitches and impossible to live with. Most women are neglected by and not treated as a Queen by her husband. SHe is his maid, his cook, his go-fer, accountant, child bearer and raiser, and his free outlet for taking care of HIS sexual urges. Its okay if a woman chooses that role but the problem is him not recognizing and praising and loving her, upholding her, cherishing and loving her so much that if he were to lose her, he'd pine for her because no other could possibly be as special to him again. Thats what too many women don't get, cus if they did, they would always be in the mood to hug and kiss and make love, an extention of the love inside they have for their spouse. I have met very few women who have husbands like that. S ome get kinda close. But I am pretty sure this guy could change his situation at home and be satisfied if he put in the effort.

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I'm a 21 year old female and have just recently started to develop some insecurities about my breast size. I'm 5'2" and 95 pounds, and wear a 32A size bra. I am going to be sleeping with a recent love interest for the first time in a few days, and for some reason I am kind of nervous for him to see my boobs because they are so small. I know some people think small boobs are sexy but they're not just small, they're basically nonexistent.

What's weird is that I've never been very insecure about this before. I've been sexually active since I was 16 and have always embraced having small boobs. And this guy is totally cool and never puts me down about my looks or anything so idk why it's all of a sudden an issue for me. How I stop being so insecure about this?

I am just venturing a guess but subconsciously whether you realize or not, you may be feeling more serious about him than any other guy in the past so the want for him to be totally pleased with you is so much stronger. Many guys are happy with girls whose breasts are flat, malformed, one breast or nipple large than the other, really saggy, way huge, and everything in between. Why?
Because there are some men who realize that what the media pushes as beauty is all false and what they want is a real woman, not one surgically made up to look as media and society says she should. These are also the kind of men who are more likely to be falling for all of you, the you inside, not just what you are like on the outside. You have a better chance of attracting that kind of guy than the girl who is all made up or accidently born with all the attributes that media says is beautiful and sexy.
I once came across a wonderful site where girls like you can send in just a chest shot of themselves nude so there is a great comparison of what natural breast, nipples and areolas look like and there is such a wide variety. Each girl shares a bit if she has felt bad about herself and what her boyfriend or husband feels. I know they update the photos from time to time but I have seen some on this website I will give you where the gal is so flat I thought it was totally breast removal surgery cus of cancer.

http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php

All I can say is focus on being yourself and knowing there are tons of women who have breast like yours and still a man proposed to them and are happily married and breast fed their kids.

Dont let size fool you. I know of two women with large breast who saw me nursing and told me they thought with large breast they'd have no problem either but no matter what they tried, couldn't produce much milk at all. If this guy ends up eventually saying something about not liking your breast size or asking you if you'd consider implants, dump him. A man like that is not happy with you as you are. Never change who you are to please the other person, either in your personality or looks. I did that with my first husband at your age. Nothing ever pleased him. things got way worse than that too but thats another story. Good luck dear.

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hello
I'm in love vd one of mine senior frnd she know i madly love her but i dont know what she feels cus she did such a things with me whick makes mee depressed and always hurting me not talking properly always in rude manner but sometimes she is talking in very soft manner and whenever we use to hangout together she is always observing my expression what i feel when she use to say that she like someone else she share all her past secret but not telling the name of guy (currently) to whom she like aur loved she is not ignoring nor allowing mee im quite no totally confused what she feels ...??
and always saying juss move on and concentrate on your future..! if i guess she love but not showing her feelings cus she feels dat im diverting from my goal and path thats y she do this to get me on track. (only predictions not confirm)

Thanku
From
Mad lover..!

I am probably going to be no more helpful than your message was. I can pretty much figure out text abbreviations but you are not using fully complete sentences, more like phrases with no period where one sentence phrase ends so I am a bit confused. But I will try my best. If this doesnt help, you may want to take the time to reword your explanation.

If she is purposely seeking to hurt you, I must mention that is not the behavior of a best friend. If you are feeling hurt because she is not responding to you romantically, well...thats one of the things of life that aren't fair but happens all the time. When one person feels something towards another, theres no guarantee that the other feels it too. There's no way to force it to happen, either there is that magic chemistry for the romantic side of a relationship or there isn't.

You say she talks about old boyfriends. Talking about old boyfriends is not an indicator that she is interested in you or looking for a boyfriend. She is simply choosing to talk about old boyfriends. However it is not the best way for you to find out more about her and how she might feel about you. So try asking questions of her that can not be answered with a yes or no. Find out what her likes and dislikes are, hobbies, life as a kid, hopes, dreams, moral views, etc... and if she answers and asks the same things from you to get to know you better, then there is a surface level interest. Whether its friend or not, you cant tell until you spend some time together and look for signs. People do a lot subconsciously unaware of really what they are doing but if really interested, they will smile often at the person they are drawn to, find excuses to sit or stand near enough to touch, find reasons to touch in some non sexual way, a pat on the shoulder, smoothing a hair back, picking lint, a bug off, wiping away an eyelash or speck of food on the others face. It might seem natural but the point is, you could point it out and they do it themselves or you take the chance to have a moment of touch.

If I understand, she is not showing feelings. Have you professed love to this girl? If so, she may feel put on the spot if its too early on and these feelings have not developed for her. Although she may never feel that way for you.
There are two ways that a couple can come to have deep feelings for each other....one person can feel it almost instantly, right at the start. For others, its like a coal in the fireplace, instead of that instant eruption into a feeling of passionate flames, the other type needs a tending of the coal, the feeding it, the nurturing and time and eventually the coal slowly begins with a couple little flames that eventually end up as big as blaze as the one that came on suddenly. Both are equal amounts of love, one just took longer to grow and is just as natural. People just assume because its not there at first that it may never happen.
A lot may depend on how you are treating her, to bring on that feeling of love...if you have a belief that there might be chemistry between you.

Each of us has our own love language and usually only recognize from others the kind we most like to recieve and give the same way but our partner may not recognize love the same way we do. I am talking about Gary CHapmans 'the 5 love languages'. Besides 'Giving of gifts' there are more ways to show you love someone. Perhaps she just hasn't picked up on it or doesnt know how to tell you without hurting your feelings that she doesnt feel the same way. So maybe you are right that she is not showing her feelings, hiding that she has no feelings. If she does feel something towards you but is new at relationships, she may be inexperienced, and has no clue that it is very important to have good communication.

Am I right that u say she said to you. "Just move on and concentrate on your future."
Those are words when I read them alone, sound like she has absolutely no interest in you.
What I don't know is what led up to her saying that. What incident...what she had been saying or doing lately...or the last thing you said or did that brought those words from her. That might reveal something more that we could advise you on.

The only thing I can think of, if she is willing to seek you out, contact you, willing to call, text, meet, then there is some level of interest and you have every right to ask this simple question:
We've been hanging out for a while now. I'd like to know if your interest in me is just as best friend only or if there is interest in me as more than a friend, by which I mean possible romantic interest? If she has no interest, then you need to be honest with her if you can still be just a friend or if it will hurt you too much and you need to stop seeing her. That also is a fair move. But both of you need to be honest with each other on all this or you'll both be going no where.

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Hi! I'm female, senior in high school. Last year (junior year) I had this friend, and I started talking to this guy and dating him and then found out they had slept together. Not durin our relationship, like way before. Well she would always get really mad about us hanging out and she even had another boyfriend! The guy and I were sleeping with eAchother and had been for about two months. We could never let her find out because she would go insane. Eventually, she started hanging out with him again, and now he's totally ditched me for her! We still talk but not often, and he won't really hang out with me! I know we're just friends, and I even told him I wanted to hang out as friends and we still never have. See with their relationship he cheats on her, and she totally blows up on him about every little thing. Why is it he won't hang out with me, and what do I do to win his affection back over? I really do love this guy!

You want to win his affection back? Hon, you never had it, what you mistook for affection was only the attention guys pay a girl to get sex, their goal was taking take of their horniness by using a girl rather than masturbating. I am not against teens having sex, but more often than not at that age, males are driven more by lust than love. Teen dating should be the beginning of trying to figure out what it is you like in a guy and what behavior you don't like. Unfortunately for females, when getting close enough with a guy to have sex, her feelings and emotions get hooked and her heart feels something for him so it hurts when he doesnt treat her like she is the most special thing in the world to him. To some guys, a girl is a dime a dozen and they will never make any commitment, just going back and forth over and over to which ever girl will have him at the moment. If girls wised up and wouldn't stand for that kind of treatment, guys would learn real quickly what the standards girls have are and realize that they need to change their behavior to become the kind of male that girls will give their time of day to or be doomed to ever be a lonely single without love.

The best thing I can tell you is what the real purpose of dating is and then allow you to make your decisions as to what you'll do based on that.

At your point in age, the object is not to practice longevity of relationship, sticking together long term even if its not a perfect dating relationship. The object is not to prove to yourself or others that you can stick with someone long term...that comes in later years after you have a clue what kind of guy you want to end up life long with.

Dating is for determining if there is interest beyond basic attraction, discovering more about the other to determine if you like and can handle their personality traits, and whether there's enough in common, or evidence of destructive habits or tendencies in the other that would harm you emotionally and/or physically and kill the relationship. Depending on what you discover, you either continue dating the person and take it to the committed couple level or you break up.

Dating is more about learning what you do and don't like in a guys character and the same for him. Its a time of making comparisons. Seeing what is lacking in a current partner that you would like to have, or something that they do, or ways they treat you that are disrespectful or hurtful emotionally or physically as in being abusive or violent. When you come up against things like that, you need to decide if you will settle for less or move on to the next dating partner, hopefully always shooting for someone a step better in some area. Make a list of the qualities you like and remind yourself with another list of the qualities you dont like or must avoid because they are harmful to your well being. Review it and update it often through out the years.


If you break up, you look for the next dating partner, always trying to find someone a step better than the last partner, basing your choices for the new person on traits you discovered in the last person that you liked enough to look for in the next person, while at the same time avoiding the other things that you won't tolerate.
If all is going well and you develop some serious feelings for each other, you take the relationship from just dating to the committed couple level. At this level, depending on your age, you are dating each other exclusively or if adults, moving in together or getting married.
If you find you keep having the same issues, no matter which guy you date, either you never learned from the past relationship, or perhaps more of the issues are with you and you need to be honest with yourself as to what issues you need to work on within yourself before you can make a good dating partner. I can't begin to stress how helpful having a list of what I liked and wanted and needed in a guy was to me in finding my 2nd husband. It should work just as well at any age, including high school dating too.


Good luck dear.

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Let me start from the very beginning(which will be very long) There's a co-worker who has shown interests in me or at leas that's the way I read it.It started one day when He asked if I had a boyfriend, what he was like and what kind of dates we went on.Then one day I upset because on old crush of mine contacted me on facebook and things didn't go well.This co-worker hugged me, kissed my hand, caressed my cheek, told me I was beautiful and special.A few weeks went by and he didn't really show anymore signs until one day during break he told me that another co-worker said that I was the perfect girl for him, and that he should take me out for dinner.A couple days went by and one night when I was leaving, I tripped over a chair, He ran up to me and asked if I was okay.I told him, I was having an unlucky day, he then told me I needed a boyfriend to unbreak that luck, he asked me how old of a guy would I date.Then eventually offered lunch.Scheduled a get to gether, but he had to cancel because his brother had a heart attack.We never rescheduled because we both got busy, few weeks went by and he didn't really show anymore interests.Until last week he brought up my old crush again, asked if I still contacted him.Told him no, that I don't talk to that guy anymore.He then went on to say how he had a similar issue.

Tonight I was leaving and he was upstairs on break, I had to wait for my ride so I sat down.He asked when my days off were and I told them.Then he told me how he sent me a friend request on Facebook, and we discussed games.I pulled out my phone to text my ride.And he started laughing, I thought he was laughing at me texting "I was like what?" He said nothing, but kept laughing and I responded "Are you laughing at me texting?" He was like "what?" and kept laughing.Finally I said "What is so funny!" He then said, "Well last night, I had a dream...about you" I was like "About me?" and he responded "Yeah, you were sitting texting like you are now, and I knocked on your door, you let me in and we sat and talked and had a good time, then you kissed me.I told you I loved you and loved working with you, and that you were a hard-worker, and you told me you enjoyed being with me too"

I felt really strange hearing this.Why would he say something like that? Do you think he made it up just to get a kick out of seeing my reaction?

Prior to this random outburst of laughing, when i told him that I had my old crush blocked he was like "Good, keep him blocked!" lol

Was he trying to hint he wants to kiss me or likes me?

Ditto on the fact that it is extremely obvious that he is interested in you. You need to decide if you are interested in him as well and if him being any older than you is okay with you. I am betting since he asked about what age guy your ok with that he must be significantly older.

Also, I'd like to point out that He can state whatever he wants at work, but until you really get to know him and meet his family and close friends, you won't know if this guy is truly single, in a committed relationship or married and therefore trying to cheat with you. So just a warning to not let yourself fall for him too quickly until you really get to know if you can trust this man.

Also, I don't question that he actually had this dream, it's very likely since he's crazy about you. All his dream proves is that he thinks he is already in love with you. Love at first sight can happen but it is very rare...I wouldn't count on that yet. What I have an issue with is him thinking that you are close enough friends to share this kind of thing with. It is quite unfair to share any dreams of the future or even lets say some messages that a psychic gets about the future. If God tells them but says to not tell the person, then some things are better kept to oneself. His eagerness to share that tidbit makes me believe he is trying to think of anything he can do to tip the cards in his favor and get a positive encouraging response from you. So far you have talked and answered his questions but apparently not given him any signals whether you are interested in him only as a coworker, a close friend or interested in him romantically.
You have every right to feel odd or uncomfortable hearing details of this dream.
My guess since you've written us is that you are not totally repulsed by him, otherwise you would have totally ignored his hints and advances and flirting. But he has your curiousity up and you at least want to get to know more about him to see if you might actually like him. Just remember my warning to take things slow, dont get involved sexually until you are 100% sure there is no wife or girlfriend. I know too many cases of guys trying to pick up a girl at work cus its easy, an office romance can spice up his life if he isnt happy with his wife or girlfriend, and its less likely she'll find out.

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I'm 20 years old and I'm a virgin, usually when I'm with my bf I'm very wet and he'll finger me but as soon as I cum I'll instantly get dry or I can be wet and as soon as he tries to insert me I get dry can anyone explain to me why this happens or how I can fix it because he feels like I don't want to be with him

Sillyrob is right. Lube is the solution. I will expand on this to explain why you are having this problem. The first wetness you are experiencing is a thicker fluid that lubricates your vagina. If I understand correctly, he always fingers you first and you cum, before he actually enters you.
If when you cum there is more liquid that flows from you so that you leave a wet spot, this would be the females ejaculation. Not all females can do it due to how their sexual organs developed in-utero. I have this ability and find that the second liquid of ejaculation (sometimes called gushing for females) is a much thinner watery liquid so it not only tends to wash away the thicker fluid that is much like lube, but it can also wash away any lube already used.

Even if you do not 'gush', this is no indication of whether you are sexually interested in the guy and or turned on by him. If he makes comments about it, then you need to educate him on it. If he doesnt believe you, he is a jerk and you may want to think twice about remaining with him.
If the two of you clearly haven't fully discussed the situation yet, then its' high time to do so.

Dryness can occur for other reasons, sometimes on days I am more tired, stressed, even depending on if I am a bit dehydrated will make a difference. Then women during and after menopause with their body changes will find often they produce less or no personal lubrication type fluid, such as in my case but can still ejaculate/gush.
There is no fault to be pinned on either partner, it is just a fact of life to be accepted with understanding and worked around by using lube.

Also, there are many different kinds of lube. Some dont work as well as others or wear off faster and need to be reapplied sometimes many times for us depending on how long we are going at it. haha.

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Okay well I'm 15 and he's 17. My whole family knows him well bc he is my cousin's best friend! Anyway, I feel like he doesn't make an attempt to talk to me that much bc he lives an hour away but when he does, he flirts, or tries to show off. (In a cutesy stupid kinda way!)Like recently, my friends and I were walking and his friends and he were walking, no one said anything but he hit my shoulder and when I looked he said "Tag, you're it!" And winked and walked away! I like him tho! Dx I'm really confused! Thanks!!

One of the things a guy does to show he is attracted to a girl is to talk to her, smile at her, flirt, but even more so, find an excuse to be near her or to touch her in some natural way. This is all body language we give off subconsciously when we are attracted...girls do the same.
As to whether he actually likes you enough to consider a girlfriend, usually teens say that someone 'likes' them when the other has not had opportunity to hang out with you enough to learn enough about you to determine if they are still interested beyond surface level things and that is why sometimes if it is difficult for some reason for a guy to spend time getting to know a girl he is attracted to, he just stays in the flirting mode because that is a safe place to be for now and also a very pleasant place to be too.

I cant know what u feel is a normal amount of talking to another person via phone, text or email, snapchat or a multitude of other places but what you may feel is not enough contact for a guy with possible interest may be totally off from the actual situation.l
One things I've noticed from all the teen girls who write is that guys do best in face to face convo's, do somewhat okay in phone calls and least good at texting or any other written forms of contact. Why? There are good reasons. Many guys don't like typing at all. Even if they do, texting leaves them too open to being distracted by other priorities in their life. Guys have many priorties in their life and will juggle the top few, 3 or 4 equally, such as family, school, buddies and a girlfriend interest. So depending on whats going on when you text him, he will tend to be more taken up with whatever is in front of him, mom or dad requiring his assistance or school work he's working on or hanging with his buddies...so return texts can be few, irregular response, short, or non at all. It doesnt mean he's not interested in the girl.
Phone calls work better. Lots of guys do well with calls because now they have the added benefit of the girls tone of voice to figure out what she is saying or how she is feeling if the guy has trouble understanding and figuring out girls. A boy with lots of sisters who are teens will have it pretty much figured out but a guy who didnt pay attention studying and learning about females through his sister or lacked female siblings, will not have a clue and need the extra in put of your tone of voice and lastly body language which they can only get from face to face with you. And thats why most guys prefer face to face convo's. The hour distance is not a big thing really, especially once a couple is older, out of school and owns a car and drives. But when a teen, maybe still depending on parents for transportation or bus if its available, then in reality it leaves only the weekends once homework and chores are done to have free time to hang out with someone you are attracted to.

So my advice is to nurture the keeping in contact with him for now, see if you can become close friends on line,in calls or text, share enough about each other to see if you even have any things in common. Ask him things about his likes or dislikes. And see if he asks you in return. If he does not, then he may not be as interested in you as you may think. A guy truly interested will want to learn things about the girl...otherwise all he was attracted to was strictly her looks and how it turned him on sexually. You want the best friend in a guy first and the romantic attraction as well but acted upon later, not first. I dont know him so I can't say why he is showing interest in you, hopefully because he is interested in getting to know you as a friend and later as a girl friend.
Good luck.

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I know people are going to criticize and tell me I need to see a shrink. I honestly probably do need to. But it doesn't help me now in this moment.
I am only attracted to married men. Twice my age, gray hair, sexy as fuck in my opinion. I want to fuck their brains out, give them head until they cum down my throat, etc. I'm 21 years old, and a virgin.
So yeah, this probably makes no sense. How do I know what I want if I've never had experiences? I know. I get turned on and wet whenever I am around these men I speak of. One is my boss, the one I want to sleep with the most, and that is dangerous. But I can't help it. I want him. I want my friend's husband. I want any married man willing to call me a dirty little girl and fuck me.
WHAT CAN I DO????
I'm sick of sleepless nights because I'm lonely. I want a man next to me. But I hate guys my age; they're unreliable, poor, irresponsible, and ignorant. I want a MAN. I'm so depressed about this, I selfharm and I purge. I just...I need help?

I don't think anyone can say what is in the realm of normal and what is not when it comes to what one is turned on by and desires sexually. Pretty much anything goes and I have heard of some extremely gross stuff in my opinion, such as those turned on by a partner willing to throw up or poop as a part of sex play and turn on.

Finding men in your age bracket who seem capable to inspiring satisfying sex with a girl is hard. Because for the most part, they are still inexperienced, have little knowledge or even desire to please the female first.
Older men often do make better lovers for several reasons: It takes them longer to recharge after an orgasm and sometimes they have difficulty in becoming erect as easily as they did when in their teens and 20's, or even 30's. They tend to learn how to hold off their own orgasm until the female has been fully satisfied, having been given multiple orgasms in various ways. Its not about giving him head anymore as much as him giving you orgasms by clit stimulation, g-spot stimulation with fingers or perhaps the a spot stimulation with a toy or when they are inside the female. the last doesnt work as well for all depending on the angle/tilt of her vagina and the angle and shape of his penis sometimes.

On the flip side, you must hear this---just because a man is older does not mean he ever learned how to please a woman and his knowledge in that area is still the same as when he was a young man. I have talked to many a married woman. We all discussed our husbands and yes even the topic of sex and every single married woman in my dept. told me they dont want sex anymore with their husband because he was never able to please her so having sex other than to make kids, was something they had no interest in participating in.
I say this because if you can find a man who is married who wants to find sex partner because his wife wont have sex with him anymore...(you might think this ideal) theres a good chance that he has no idea or even desire to please a woman. It's still all about him and at this older age range, the mid life crisis becomes a real thing for some men, wanting to prove they still have it in them to please a girl in sex or if married, they are beginning to feel old and think the way to feel young again is by finding themselves a twenty-something female who wants him as well and that is their way to recapture their youth in a way. The majority of these men are NOT willing to leave their wives in case you fall for him. How do I know? I did not knowing date any married men and made that plain in my dating profile after I divorced and was looking for a new mate. I did meet my 2nd husband but before then met with men who swore they were not married. And on the 2nd date out for dinner or coffee, confessed to me that they were married. Every single one confessed to still loving their wife as their best friend. In most cases, the real problem was not always wife refusing to give him sex, it was a case of the two of them from the very start, never having that sexual chemistry to begin with. Or one felt it, the other never did.
Getting involved with a Married older man is looking for a heap of trouble, first of all finding your heart broken, his wife finding out and divorcing him and he ending up heartbroken because he loved her as his closest best friend and wife even tho they were mismatched sexually.

Never believe the story that a wife is frigid. There are so few women that really have such a problem. The problem almost always is that the woman has not yet met a man who can inspire, and excite them and cause them to desire their man sexually often for lack of sexual chemistry. I thought I had the perfect guy at 20 when I married...I just had not yet experienced the ultimate that you are seeking. It wasn't until I left him that I finally had a chance to experience several different men and slowly began to realize what it was that I really wanted, and not just wanted, but Needed to inspire me sexually.

Even though you have not yet had sex, there must be some things you've experienced that turn you off, even just in kissing or touching, a lack of self confidence or experience.

From what you said I can't tell if you are looking for one solid sex partner in an older man or want to find several or go after as many as you can.
If you are determined to do this, then at least make sure you are on birth control first for long enough for it to be active, always carry condoms in your purse, dont count on the guy to provide one for STD prevention, and try to focus on older men who are not married. If you think a man who never married and has always been a bachelor is not going to be a good bet, then at least focus on men who are widowed. They will still have sexual needs and long for companionship but not be willing to remarry.

Now that I've given you some things to think about as far as sex goes....a female who selfharms and purges due to not being able to handle the stress of not having a mature sex partner, is not going to be appealing to every older man. Unless the man is desperate for anyone who will have sex with him no matter what, you need to know that one of the biggest turn offs for males is females who lack self confidence and have a low self image. Even in the teen years, boys are already avoiding girls like that.

So might I suggest that you find a way to deal with your issues first, get your depression under control? You will be more successful if you do.

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