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He has a girlfriend but he flirts and gives me mixed signals
20 Female
So I met this guy on twitter and after a few months we started flirting. He wanted a good full out blown flirtationship so we did that. At first we would just flirt but slowly he started sexting me and soon I developed feelings for him. I told him I liked him and he told me, "I think you're so perfect for me, I wish I could make myself love you." A few months later he got a girlfriend but kept on lying to me that they are "just friends" so that I will continue sexting him! I found out and we had a fight and he said he didn't want to "hurt me" so he didn't say anything. I stopped talking to him and I took me about 3-4 months to get over him. A couple days ago he started texting me back and we were just talking as friends when he said, " if I ever end up meeting you, we're gonna be really busy because no matter what I do, the attraction we have between us will never ease up!" He later on told me that he doesn't feel sexually aroused with a woman like he does with me! First I was so happy because somewhere I still loved him but then I lied that I had to go somewhere. He's planing on having a mutual sexting session tomorrow and I'm scared...i don't know if it's because I think I'll fall in love with him again or the fact that I'm bisexual and I have a crush on a girl. The reason why I lied was because I remembered he has a gf, but honestly I could careless because it's not like I'm actually sleeping with him! Another words, him being in a relationship isn't the point! Idk what to do! Or how to politely tell him that I can't decide the reason as to why I'm scared to sext you! Because I just told him it wasn't awkward at all.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Its okay if you want just sex without love or commitment or even just the pretense of sex.
However, if you want a real relationship with the love and commitment part, you're going about 'getting the right guy' the wrong way.
First you need to realize that anything on line, over the phone, texting, sexting...is not a real relationship. What makes it feel so real is the same thing that makes a sad movie cause you to cry. And that is your emotions.
Strict on line relationships fill an emotional need for people who are shut ins, ill, disabled mentally or physically, elderly and lonely.
If you are non of these, there is no need for you to go this route for it will never be full on real. For being able to watch his facial response to you talking, sound of his laugh at your joke, the touch of his hand, his kiss, etc.... you have to use your imagination. A real relationship must be a face to face one, because thats also the only place that each person can have the opportunity for experiences and the consistancy of who and what they are as a person in order for you to be able to build trust with each other. There is no trust in anything other than face to face, no commitment, no deep in love with, lack of ability to check for chemistry because it is all taking place in the realm of illusion in your mind.
If you are too afraid to have a real face to face relationship, then stick with this but you can not expect love, truth, trust and commitment from this guy.
If you decide you do want those things, then simply stop communicating with him. When he texts or calls, just don't answer. Or go one better, block him.
Good luck dear.
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You should care. If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. This guy has no respect for women. Sexual feelings and sexual attention can be very powerful, but do not let them blur your vision from seeing that this guy is a pretty crappy person that you don't want anything to do with. You are under his spell just because he is saying that he wants you sexually. This sort of "relationship" is dangerous and is not the way to allow yourself to be treated. As good as it feels, it's not going to give you what you're seeking. His bad behavior is actually turning you into a bad person as well. How could you say that you don't care about him being in a relationship at this point? That's kind of awful of you. Wouldn't you want someone to respect you enough to tell you if the person you were with was doing this? His disrespect for women is causing you to disrespect women as well. Do not be polite to him. If you're polite in rejecting him, he will not take you seriously. Not that he takes you very seriously anyway. It's not about being scared to participate in a planned sexting session (which is completely tacky and ridiculous), it's your own dignity, self-worth, and integrity that's at stake here. You do not want to be the kind of person that he's turning you into. He doesn't ever really want to meet you. Things are too good the way they are. He's just saying that to get back the easy girl that he lost. Tell him that you're not interested in a relationship with him anymore on any level. That's all you have to say. You don't owe him a drawn out explanation. You don't owe it to him to make him understand why you don't want to do something. He isn't going to agree with you and will only try to make you change your mind, so giving him a reason would be pointless. Just say no, do not engage in a drawn-out back and forth conversation with him about why you said no, block him, and move on with your life. You made the right choice before. Do not allow him to manipulate you into making the wrong choice now just because you like the attention that he gives you. You're better than that. Good luck.
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