|
Why am I uncomfortable about my boyfriend touching me down there?
So I've been with my boyfriend for awhile and I'm not afraid to touch his penis but I don't like him touching me down there for some reason idk if it's just because I'm embarrassed about getting wet or what but plz help!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Might be an idea to try and isolate what exactly it is about the act that is putting you off. Maybe that ou are afraid it will run away with you and lead to sex, and you do not want that just yet? Worried he will be a bit clumsy or heavy-handed and perhaps not gentle enough? Since you are happy about touching him intimately I assume you find him attractive and desirable, and not at all off the idea of being physically close? The best way to overcome the fears about clumsiness or exceeding your current sexual limits is sound, honest communication. Agreeing the boundaries, and plenty of feedback while he pleasures you (telling him what feels good, what does not, so you can make the most of the parts you enjoy and he can stop doing anything that you don't like). Quite a lot of young ladies are nervous about their boyfriend seeing and feeling that they are getting wet when it is still quite a new experience. Let me assure you he will not find it gross/offputting?unpleasant etc. I should say he'll feel pretty delighted that his girlfriend is showing him she finds him arousing in a clear manner. Most guys do, and not just when we're in our youth either! Don't you feel quite pleased knowing being around you excites him (gives him an erection, to be blunt)? And don't worry about the timing...some do. If you've already got a bit excited before he caresses you intimately (from kissing and cuddling?) it won't make a guy think you're 'easy' or 'slutty' or any silly ideas like that. And don't worry about any slight scent (even if you're absolutely fresh from the shower), guys don't find it off-putting at all. Finally, if it's just the whole idea of a guy touching you 'down there' that you don't like then the relationship need a little more time, until you do feel nice and ready. I suppose in many ways the act is what we might call sexual foreplay and as such, the preparation for full sexual intercourse. But it certainly does not have to be that, particularly early on in a relationship. Agree your limits, keep respect for each other and yourselves and it can be a perfectly enjoyable thing in itself, not for where it leads. Ssomething which you both give and take. Communication is probably the key, as it so often is. Talk to each other. X
]
Being intimate with someone is something you must adjust to. By being intimate I do not mean having sex with someone although sex does fall under that category. Both boys and girls have to adjust to being intimate with each other. As you say you have no problem touching his penis,though he had to adjust to letting a girl touch him down there.
Boys have the same concerns about their penis that girls do about there vagina. They are embarrassed about getting hard although it is a natural function just as getting wet is for you. You get wet because you are sexually excited. When a woman gets sexually excited her vagina lubricates to accept a penis. When the male gets sexually excited he gets hard so he can enter the vagina. These are the sexual facts of life that in the beginning for both of you can be embarrassing.
This is all normal. Simply tell the young man that you are not ready to be touched down there. If he loves you and not just lusts for you he will understand.
One other thing and this you need to remember for the rest of your life. NO mean NO and Stop means STOP. Once you tell some one either of these words, be he 15 or 51 he must stop. TO continue to try to do whatever it is you said no to is called SEXUAL HARASSMENT. This is a FELONY CHARGE you can bring against any man of any age if they continue to harass you for something you don't want to do sexually. It is one step below rape as charges go and is taken very serious.
]
Tell him you don't want him to touch you down there. As a side note, there is no reason to be embarrassed for how your body reacts to being touched, though. Wetness is normal.
Toodles,
Miss Piggy
]
You didn't give an age. If you are in your twenties, I'd say its time to do some sex ed self education and learn everything you can about the female anatomy, the cycle, how one becomes pregnant,how to avoid that, the physiology of the male body too. Once you know more, you should be more comfortable with sex if you are sexually attracted to your guy, if not, it's not going to be satisfying to you if you did get up enough nerve.
If you are a young teen, that could explain why you're uncomfortable, it would be your first real exploration of anything sexual and you might be ready to touch him but when it comes to touching you, thats another story and you have good reaso n to feel uncomfortable if you don't know enough yet and /or you just may not be ready or willing to go that far and that is okay. Dont let anyone tell you theres something wrong with you if you don't. I never had sex in high school. I waited until I was 20.
In touching the boys penis, if he gets any precum on his penis tip and it is on his hands as he touches your private parts, the lips or inside the vagina, he can transfer live sperm inside you without his penis ever entering you. So if you are going to be doing this on a regular basis, it may be best to get on birth control, and then still proceed slowly at a rate you a re comfortable with. Otherwise, just don't even go there. Do talk with him and let him know you are not ready to go any further. If he asks when you will be, you dont know. He may be hoping for next week or next month but you may not be ready for months or a couple more years. If this is a deal breaker for him and he leaves you over it, thats GOOO....cus he was never interested in you for your personality, just for the sex and in his case most likely it was lust, not love that caused him to want you for a girlfriend.
]
It's not something that you get comfortable with over night. Regardless of how long you've been with your boyfriend there's nothing wrong with feeling a little embarrassed when being intimate, there are some things you may never be comfortable with. As to why you don't feel comfortable; I can't answer that. Just know there's nothing wrong with it and it may take time.
]
Whoa honey! Calm down.Lets start from the top!
First,what he is doing,is a very new expirience for you.If it is uncomfortable for you,dont keep quiet.Instead tell your boyfriend that is doesnt feel right to you.
Never ever feel forced or pressure to do something that you dont want to do! Dont worry about being embarrassed,this is new for you.When you are ready for him to try that again in the future,you will be more at ease.
Be blessed
]
More Questions: |