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What am I to him?
So I'm 15 years old and I met a guy while I was visiting my family in Florida. And he he says he likes me and that's why he broke up with his girlfriend but he doesn't want to date me because I live so far away. But we have done stuff like made out a lot I've given him a blow job etc. But we haven't went all the way because I'm afraid that if I go all the way with him he will leave me and never speak to me again. I asked him what are we and he said I'm not a booty call cuz I deserve better but I'm not his girlfriend either. It's just so confusing, like what are we? I want a boyfriend but he doesn't want a relationship. I need help please! :(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are friends with benefits.
Stop doing anything sexual with him. Stop kissing him even. Let him know that you only want to do those things with someone who is committed to you. This will be hard of course, but it is the only chance you have at a relationship with him.
Remember this: guys are lazy. They will do the least amount of emotional work possible. If you are providing a guy with sexual favours without asking for any emotional commitment, that guy will not appreciate what you have done. He will walk all over you. He will enjoy the sexual gratification and he has to do absolutely nothing to earn it. Don't be that easy. If you set some standards, he will be forced to re-think his selfish attitude. Make it a personal rule that you will never get physical with a man outside of a relationship. If you do this, you will gain control of your love life, rather than waiting for some asshole to finally ask you out.
Believe moi. Moi has a charm that is lethal to men.
Miss Piggy
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He was being a normal teen boy. Having raging hormones to take care of, he would do anything he could to entice a girl to have sex with him cus he says he likes her. There are two reason a male has sex, one is to take care of his urges, and the other number two is: To take care of his ladys needs and pleasure her fully until she is satisfied before allowing himself to have his own satisfaction, all which he does for the lady because he loves her and this is one special way to show that special love to each other and share it.
It looks like you have a case of number one, using you for his purposes. And the thing is, HE KNEW BETTER, cus he could tell you were not one of those girls who sleep around in school with every guy she can get. He knows you deserved better and yet he used you. Even if you were willing, he shouldn't have been. That makes him a pretty low creature.
Not against teens having sex, but it should be when the two like each others personalitys and are attracted both that way and physically and slowly develop deep feelings for each other and then start the sexual part of the relationship together. Then it is right and wonderful.
You are nothing to him. Forget about him.
I thing the teen years are a good time to have a boyfriend, more than one dating relationship hopefully cus the object here is to learn what you like and don't like in the opposite sex and always in each subsequent relationship, you do one better in who you select, always improve upon the failings of the last one, don't settle for less.
So if you want a boyfriend dear, you need to know what dating is really about before you go down that road. Here is the explanation:
At your point in age, the object is not to practice longevity of relationship, sticking together long term even if its not a perfect dating relationship. The object is not to prove to yourself or others that you can stick with someone long term...that comes in later years after you have a clue what kind of guy you want to end up life long with.
Dating is for determining if there is interest beyond basic attraction, discovering more about the other to determine if you like and can handle their personality traits, and whether there's enough in common, or evidence of destructive habits or tendencies in the other that would harm you emotionally and/or physically and kill the relationship. Depending on what you discover, you either continue dating the person and take it to the committed couple level or you break up.
Dating is more about learning what you do and don't like in a guys character and the same for him. Its a time of making comparisons. Seeing what is lacking in a current partner that you would like to have, or something that they do, or ways they treat you that are disrespectful or hurtful emotionally or physically as in being abusive or violent. When you come up against things like that, you need to decide if you will settle for less or move on to the next dating partner, hopefully always shooting for someone a step better in some area. Make a list of the qualities you like and remind yourself with another list of the qualities you dont like or must avoid because they are harmful to your well being. Review it and update it often through out the years.
If you break up, you look for the next dating partner, always trying to find someone a step better than the last partner, basing your choices for the new person on traits you discovered in the last person that you liked enough to look for in the next person, while at the same time avoiding the other things that you won't tolerate.
If all is going well and you develop some serious feelings for each other, you take the relationship from just dating to the committed couple level. At this level, depending on your age, you are dating each other exclusively or if adults, moving in together or getting married.
If you find you keep having the same issues, no matter which guy you date, either you never learned from the past relationship, or perhaps more of the issues are with you and you need to be honest with yourself as to what issues you need to work on within yourself before you can make a good dating partner. I can't begin to stress how helpful having a list of what I liked and wanted and needed in a guy was to me in finding my 2nd husband. It should work just as well at any age, including high school dating too.
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Hmmmf!! To your boyfriend,not to you darling!
Lets take this piece by piece.
So you met him,and he lives far away.
Second,it sadly sounds like he wants somebody around but no commitment watsoever! AS IF!!
Second,please do not sleep with him!! He is not deserving of you,and he is being very cruel,and not nice to you.
Sleeping with him,and staying with him,will actually make it worse,and it will hurt you more.
See,girls mature faster than boys do,so he is no way at the mindset you are!
You my dear,as hard it is,is probably better for you to say goodbye to this boy,and maybe you should be with someone who is around you and is more mature and also,someone who respects you!!
You see respect is so important,and this young man you are speaking of lacks respect for you,and your body and that is a no no no.
Be blessed and I know some wonderful young man will come your way and love and respect you! Always makes sure you treated right and like a young lady and a human being!
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