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I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
If you're kind enough to rate me please leave a comment letting me know if I helped! I love hearing that I have!
Please try to use proper grammar and be coherent.
I have been featured 4 times. :)
advice
ok so i've had this boyfriend, M for 6 months today. and i just found out hes been going behind my back, and telling my friend A, stuff ive been saying about her.
it all started when i was mad at one of my friends and chewed him out, and he got upset and so A bitched me out about it, and that made me mad. so a few days later, i was on aim with M and one of my other friends, N. M, N and i were in a 3way chat. and A had logged on, and i was still mad at her. so i started bitching about her to M and N. and suddenly, A started bitching me out about stuff. and by the way she was yelling at me, it had sounded like she had heard what i was saying about her. so i asked N and M if they had told her anything, and they both said no. they both swore on their lives they hadn't said anything to her. although i didnt want to think it at the time, i had a feeling M had said something.
so tonight, A and i worked out our differences and we're friends again, but then she told me that she got mad at me that night because M had said "watch out, L(me) is mad. here's what she said, dont tell her" and she got mad, and thats why she said what she said.
so NOW, i know that M had lied to my face about not saying anything, AND that he had betrayed my trust and told her what i said about her!!
how am i supposed to handle this? because right now i just want to f**king kill him!! i know thats not the way to go, i really want to work it out and see what he has to say, but how can i bring it up and how can i keep myself from acting like a total bitch and ruining our relationship forever?
Okay this was a little confusing with the letters but il do my best to answer =]
firstly you all have got to stop bitching about each other to one an another.
it just causes more sh*t and problems and remember the saying "what goes around comes around"
it ALWAYS gets back eventually,trust me ive realised.
instead of bitching you should just confront the person about the problem head on tell them how you feel etc,i know we all like to have a little bitch now and again but it can do more damage then good.
before you say anything to your boyfriend relax and calm yourself down because if you talk to him when your this pissed its not gonna end well.
next time you see him say you werent right to be talking about your friend like that but fact is everyone does once in a while and it wasnt exactly fair of him to go and tell your friend.
he should have realised you were angry and upset and didnt mean it,and by telling A it made things alot worse ask him why he did it?
hopefully he will have a good enough answer and apologise also.
honestly i think you shouldnt make that big of deal out of this you all made mistakes realised it and its time to put them aside and move on,and learn from them in future =]
tell your bf you want to feel like you can trust him but be careful what you bitch about and to who in future its better to just get all your anger out on a piece of paper then rip it up feels like you have offlaoded it on somone,
anyway hope i made some sense to you!
and helped =]
I'm a lot different than the group of friends I hang out with the most. I'm more street smart/creative/artistic while they're mainly all about education (this is only about some of them, not all of them). Because of this, I tend to get treated as the "outcast" in the group and in all honesty, I feel like I'm not even treated like a friend. I like who I am and I don't plan to change myself for anyone. I just want to be treated like a real friend, what should I do?
Hey there =]
from what youve said it looks like you need to find a new group of friends,ones that will aprciate you and possibly have some of the same interests as you,try talking to different people in school/college I know it can be a bit indimiditating but trust me youl find youl make them quickly =]
maybe join some groups or clubs to get to know different people if there are any around?
way to go for staying true to yourself and not changing most people try to sucome to a label to fit in.
you should feel proud of yourself,
hope I helped some what!
good luck =]
much
im 17 years old and 5 weeks pregnant.
my boyfriends family wants me to get an abortion.
my family doesnt want me to get an abortion.
i don't want an abortion.
my boyfriends family are saying if i keep the baby then he has to move out and there disowning him.
i feel guilty.
i dont know what to do.
adoption ISNT an option.
hes scared and doesnt think were ready, i don't either but happened.
he's worried hes going to have to sell everything and not have a life or go to any parties anymore.
How do i convince him that he can still have a life? and how do i convince him that abortion isnt the right option? how can i make him see that there is a life, part of him inside me and we shouldn't kill it just because we made a mistake?
Hey there,okay first off you should not feel guilty he is as much a part of this as you.
its natural for him to be scared, he needs to step up and show some responsability by respecting your decesions and being there for you like you said it happend and now you both have to face it,way to go for being so mature about this.
okay about the whole abortion issue
have you tried getting his parents to talk his around?
by letting them know that their son needs them to support him and disowning him isnt going to help the situation in anyway.
my best friends sister got pregnant at 15,she and her boyfriend thought immidiately life over.
but they worked their asses off to try and get a good education and make time for a social life by leaving the baby with one an another parents one night a week,its not too much to ask of them and they are usually supportive and happy to help (well your parents by the sounds of it)
i can tell you that her sister is 26 now and married to the same guy with 3kids in total in a really nice house and really happy sure she missed out on some things but everyone has to grow up and take responsability for their actions at some point.
tell your boyfriend taking the easy way out with an abortion wont solve anything.
you have to tell him all this you and your family need to just sit down with his and get through to them explain how this doesnt have to be totally negative,and its not like you have been handed a death sentance this could turn out to be one of the best things to happen to you at the end of it all when you have a little baby boy or girl.
Theres really not much more i can tell you only your going to have to get through to them somehow look at cases of where things have worked out like my best friends sister,i also have a friend who got pregnant last year both 16 both still together raising their baby and STILL having a life.
tell them they need to look at the glass half full not half empty.
I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for you youl be a great mum seems like you have good support from your family which is good.
hope I helped a bit
16/f
my best friend and i got in a couple really huge fights a few months ago. it really took a toll on our friendship. one of the fights, was something that she did that is sooooo close to unforgivable. (not going to go into details) anyway, lately ever since like beginning of summer shes been like calling me nonstop and like asking me to hang out everyday, & i was like thinking oh wow this is good, maybe everything is better between us again. well, she told me the other day her other really really good friend was on vacation. :/ she doesn't really have any other friends besides me and her. so does that mean shes only talking to me so much right now because her other friend is on vacation? will she ditch me as soon as she gets back? (not ditch, but not talk to me as much.)
i mean for her sisters birthday she was allowed to invite one friend & she picked me and not the other girl, and like she has me as her best friend on myspace and stuff. but i don't know.
i'm not jealous or anything, & its not like shes my only friend, i have many other good friends besides her. but i was just curious if any of you thinks this is just like her actually wanting to talk to me.. or because her other friend is gone.
I think she may be starting to realise that you are a good friend and she doesnt want to loose you after coming close to it?and perhaps regrets doing what she did and is trying to make sure things are okay again between you too.
she could be genuine?maybe she feels lonely aswell too like as you said she doesnt have many other friends so shes staying close as possible to the ones she has..
Or
There is what you are suggesting that she is only using you until the other friend gets back but im not sure i dont know your friend but it seems to me as if shes not does she find time to hang with you and stuff while the other friend is around?or is she somewhat distant and doesnt talk as much
you need to ask her straight out and talk to her yourself to find out for sure,
good luck =]
hope I helped
much
hi so im melinda and im 20 years old. i have a bf that is 22 and weve been dating for 2 years. my values were that i would wait until i got married, but i realized i should just wait till i find someone i love. i have never had sex and neither has he. are there any tips in avoiding pregnancy or any tips at all because im very nervous.
Hey there yeah,I agree with the pervious answe make SURE you guys use a condom and maybe get birth control,as for tips honestly just relax and go with the flow try not to be nervous it will make you tense and make the expeirience a lot more uncomfortable for you your muscles will tighten and you dont wanna remember your first time as being awkward and uncomfortable.
make sure your both relaxed and in the mood beforehand maybe have a bath,then make sure to do foreplay before hand to ease on into if you get me?
good luck =]
hope i helped
Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 years already. I do everything for him. If he needs a ride im there. If he needs money im there. We go out to eat on weekends he usually pays when I offer to. We see each other almost everything but not the whole day together. I do super nice things for him. For example when we go to his soccer game I pass by a gas station and buy him his favorite gatorade drink or or ill help him wit homework or stuff like that. I feel like I go above and beyond for him. But on the other hand he doesn't do anything like that for. For example. I took my brother and his sister to a community college to take a placemment test, it takes 2 hours to finish. I ask him if he could pick me up so I wouldn't be alone. He complained and said that he would have to bring me back and it would be pointless when he lives about 5 minutes away. And another thing I don't know if I just feel insecure or I feel like he's drifting away but I complained that he didn't have pictures of me on his phone or his laptop or even his itouch. He said I was being stupid and I complain over the stupidest thing. I don't know what to do. We get into arguments frequently now. It really feels like he doesn't love me. I don't know what to do. Am I stupid for complaining. And feeling this way?
Hey there
okay first up no your not stupid for complaining or feeling that way at all!
your putting 100% into this relationship and practicly all the effort and it looks like your getting zilch back.
thats totally unfair to you and you dont deserve it,nor should you have to put up with it.
let him know exactly how you feel ask him why he has to complain about doing something for you and look at all you do for him?after all you are supposed to be his girlfriend,tell him he needs to start treating you right and showing that he cares because lets face it everyone needs to be reminded and shown love a relationship requires the commitment of two people not one.
tell him that if he doesnt start putting in effort that its not going to work,because honestly it isnt hopefully he will understand and start working at it more,some guys arent good at expressing themselves in doing the small things and stuff to remind their gf that they do care they seem to think that we automaticly know.
if nothing changes after you bring this to his attention then i believe youve got alota thinking to do about where this is going,
wish you the best hope i helped in anyway!
good luck =]
Much
heyy its me again =/ haha the girl with the ex bf problems. i hope you remember me.
so yeah one of my friends that's friends with him and me is having a little get-together thing at her house in a few days and she invited him. this is my first like long-term relationship ex-boyfriend so i don't really know how to play it. i want him to know that i still love him and want him back without acting clingy and stuff it's gonna be all our friends hanging out so i just want to have a good time and hope something happens between us. so my questions are what should i do to let him know i still love him and want to be with him without being all clingy and stuff and should i hug him when i get there? i know i'm gonna be the same girl i was last summer when he fell in love with me but any special tips? as you can probably tell by now i really love this guy and would do anything to get him back. thank you so much.
Hey yup course I remember you =]
Okay what I think you should do here is not overwhelm him hes probably still all confused about his feelings and such just concentrate on being his friend for the moment hanging out and stuff remember what I said about hopefully trying to remind him of how good things were before that kinda stuff.
after a couple of times hanging out,then I think itd be okay to let him know your feelings for him are still there and strong rather then throwing it at him straight away if you get me,but its up to you i dont know this guy so however you think hed best react.
just talk to him like you would have before,get a convo going possible flirty one be fun outgoing show him what hes missing! =]
have him thinking "damn what did i let go!?"
hopefully an oppurtunity might arise when its just say the two of you alone and if something happens it happens just go with the flow and dont over annaylise the situation
good luck! hope I helped and hope everything works out
right ill make this real quick. there's been 2 girls iv liked and maybe even loved alot in the past 2 years the first one did me no good at all, completly ignored me and basically does not give a shit and i want to hate her but i still like her... the other girl is my best friend who i think iv recently started liking again, shes really really and every now and then i fall in and out of love with her but only because i know it wouldnt work and for this simple fact that she is a sex-a-holic and i wouldnt be able to trust her at all, i man for gods sake who cheats on everyboy friend they'v ever had??? ill admit that she cheated on her last bf with me and i felt so guilty that i had to tell her not to see me anymore untill we had gone off eachother. but shes just been dumped by him because he dosnt love her anymore he still doesnt know what we did (Which wasnt alot but enough for me to get depressed and feel ashamed of my self)
but why do i allways like the wrong people? every person i'v ever liked has either cheated on me or broken my heart and i just take it like a little bitch because oh yea im the nice guy... as they put it
my first realy girlfriend which we dated for 9 months 5 years ago still loves me apparently. she cheated on me so i wont take her back, but besides her every other girl i'v liked has been the exact opposite of everything i never want to be. I suppose its like that saying of all the good ones are taken... but were's mine? or am i really that bad? or am i really that different that i become an immediate reject to other people? everyone i know is like a clone of the next person, no body wants to be different any more. its all designer labels and hannah montana and lady freeking gaga and lilly alan. what can i do to meet people who are who they want to be? who are different because they want to have choice? i snowboard, skateboard, love art and photography i also play guitar and a little drums. i dress normall enough, clean cut, apparently have a great personality and a nice smile.
is it me or them? or am i becoming impatient with waiting to be interested in some one enough who will be right for me that its turning me into my dad (who near enough everyday finds somthing to bitch about and keeps on at it)
whats your take on it? am i bored of waiting? or is it another thing that i havent even considerd yet? its a rainy day so iv been thinking alot in front of the pc sorry for the mindless babble in the middle needed to get it off my chest :)
Hey there,
okay firstly i just want to say your totally not alone in feeling this way trust me.
i feel the EXACT same from time to time.
like i completely attract all the kinda wrong types of guys and bay boy types,and get screwed over.
ive question myself,wondering if it was me that was the problem was I good enough surely their must be something wrong with me?that type of stuff.
then i realised that was ridiculous,and that i had to stop letting myself get walked all over.
you are just drawn to the wrong types you have to break away from that its hard,but do-able trust me.
start going out more with friends and look for a girl thats just got that something special,different as you describe they are out there one that isnt afraid to stand out and that shares some of the same interests as you its not nessecarly always good to have an EXACT clone but someone who you have a balance with and have some things in common.
join some like clubs or something to try meet new people.
another thing you need to do is show confidence in yourself let all your great qualities that youve mentioned (nice guy great smile,your interests etc) shine through stand up for yourself remind yourself of all your good points.
someday you WILL find a girl who aprciates you and respects you and that will treat you right,
your probably thinking "ugh when everyone says that"
but believe me its true for the meantime dont waste time thinking about when your gonna find someone just concentrate on living life and having fun and thats when someone comes along when you least expect it =]
I mean your probably still young too youve got looads of time to find someone.
I hope I helped and made some sort of sense?!
heh,but I can completetly relate to you and if you ever need anything drop me an inbox question,
good luck
much
Well, I had a bunch of groups of different friends. Well the one best friend of mine is awfully shy when meeting people, and I thought they could meet some new people, so I started trying to mesh all my groups of friends together and they all did end up becoming friends. It was really great cause I never had to worry about choosing who to hang out with anymore since everyone wanted to hang out together.
But now lately, whenever we all hang out together, they start joking about these things and I wonder when that joke happened, and I asked and they tell me it was the other day when ALL of them hung out. Now I didn't work or anything, so I don't know why they didn't ask me. I pushed it out of my mind and moved on. But now this is seriously becoming a constant thing. I keep reading on myspace surveys and hearing from them about doing so and so together and whatnot whenever I'm just sitting at home and it's making me feel like I'm being completley left out. Which makes me mad because they all never would've been friends in the first place if I hadn't introduced all of them. I just feel like they're casting me aside. The one time they all mentioned hanging out in front of me, I actually had to sit there adn mention how I didn't work and invite myself in a way. And the thing is our groups been friends now for about a year or two, well I've been friends with them all individually for four years or more.
I'm just suprised they're all acting this way. Like when I ride in the car with my best friend, I usually get shot gun and then we'll go pick everyone else up. Well then when we go somewhere and we'll be heading back to the car, my other friends who had to sit in the back before literally either yell "SHOT GUN" or I notice they juts walk at a pace faster than mine so they beat me to it, therefore shoving me into the back and casting me out of conversation ( I've tried talking back there and they just ignore me ). Also, with my best friend ( I practically live at their house ) I have jokes wiith their family members ( me and my best friend gave them joke names ) well now all my other friends call them by that too ( and they've only met the parents like, three times ) and joke about it constantly like they've always been part of it. It's been a joke me and my best friend shared for a year or so now. And also, they always text eachother, they never text me. They will every now and then but it doesn't seem to the extent that they all do eachother. Like I'll be hanging out with my best friend and they'll recieve and text from one of them sharing some news and I'll wait for my text and I get nothing ( and it's not like they know we're hanging together so they figured I'd read his text ).
And I could maybe understand if this is how I treated them, but whenever me and my best friend hang out, I ivnite them all the time, even if they can't hang out, I still let them know we wanted them to hang out with us. ( Plus, they're my BEST friend.. we're going to have times where we'll be hanging out together. These other friends in our group are eachother's best friend so they should understand how that is. ) And when they sit in the back I turn down the music and talk to them and have conversation going, but the way I treat them is never returned unto me.
I'm sorry this was so long, but I just feel like everyones trying to hang out without me and it's making me feel really lonely and down. And it especially hurts me that my best friend isn't inviting me to everything, whereas I would with them.
Hey there,im really sorry to hear that.
its horrible to feel left out or unwanted,everyone has felt that way once in a while but after reading this its constantly happening to you and its really not fair at all.
you dont deserve to be treated and cast asside like that! espically since your such a good friend to all the rest of them getting them together and stuff always being considerate of them,inviting them etc.
you need to confront them or just your best friend and explain how much this is hurting your feelings tell her you feel excluded ask (him/her think you said him cant remember) why he/she is doing it,how come you dont get invited anymore.
say how youve done nothing wrong to deserve this.
it looks as though your friends dont value you that much,which they should! tell them that too
and they should apologise for their behaviour and for hurting you and hopefully start being better and inviting you and stuff but this should be automatic! tell them that also like explain you shouldnt even have to be talking to them about this!
by the sounds of things they arent being great friends.
if nothing improoves i sugest you try move on from them and make new friends (as hard and nerve racking as that cant be but you can do it if all comes to all) you seem like a kind hearted person and honestly you deserve friends who aprciate you and your efforts.
=]
good luck I hope I helped in any way and that things get better
Much
Okay so my promblem is I am torn
between two guys. My boyfriend and I have
dated before this twice, and we broke
up because we sort of just "died off"
and got annoyed with eachother. He's
really sweet and I can tell he generally
cares for me. But this other guy that we
will call "Ivan" feels like he is the one.
He is so honest and innocent and has my
best intrest in mind. And I fall for him
more and more eachtime we talk. My boyfriend
is out of town & keeps thinking I am
going to cheat on him and that's something
I would never do :|
Hey there okay,
from what you say you seem to like this ivan guy more then your boyfriend.
I know youl always care for your bf but like you said you sort of "died off" and the spark is lost.
thats something thats important and you need in a relationship to make it fun exciting and interesting.
you have a really hard decision to make and its toally up to you but from what I can gather I think its time to maybe move on?
before you let it go on too long with your boyfriend not being really happy and then loosing out on other expeiriences and guys who you feel you like more,my sister was in a relationship with a guy for nearly 3years but around the 2year mark things just werent going anywhere she felt stuck in a rut was always moody and not nice to be around she finally decided it wasnt worth it and they split and shes never been happier,
thats my advice if you dont feel the same for your boyfriend and you like the other guy more take ivan to the prom.
but obviously explain your feelings to your boyfriend in the easiest nicest way possible sure hel be hurt but he will in time understand and move on.
btw its not fair of him to think youd cheat on him thats another factor that makes ME think you should pick ivan,but i dont know your boyfriend so as i said totally your choice!
good luck with your decision hope I helped in anyway
Well heres the problem. im a 13 year old guy who used to have a reallly skinny body but iv been working out for about 9 months and iv gained a lot more muscle mass and i look better too. But before i started working out a lot of my ribcage was sticking out, but i never really paid attention. Now since iv been working out its gotten alot better and less shows but it still sticks out. im going to WhiteWater with the girl i like and some other guys and girls too in 5 days, 6-20-09 . i wanted to know if there is anyway i can reduce the amount of rib that sticks out. And another question, i wanted to know the things NOT to do and how to be nice and friendly to her. or what i can do to get her attention. THANK YOU.
Sincerely,
Ashkon.
Hey there, =]
okay honestly all I can tell you is theres not much you can do to reduce your ribs sticking out thats just something you have to come to terms with everyone as bodie parts and stuff their insecure about like when I go to the beach in a bikini even though I have a slim figure I get seriously paronied that people are looking at me,but then i remind myself how ridiculous are and the reality is people dont even care! chances are your friends and the girl you like arent even going to notice trust me,the only way they will is if you draw attention to it by being insecure about it. be confident in yourself and it will show =] thats also a great way to get the girls attention (but dont be cocky or anything)
your friends wont care they will hardly notice and if they do make some smart comment ehich they more then likely wont,can you really consider them friends?
okay moving on to the girl the best way to get her attention is to be yourself in a nut shell.
ask her stuff about herself what kinda music she likes etc things shes interested in i know it can be a bit intimidating but us girls love when a guy is interested in us and talks to us and actually tries to get to know us! trust me =]
just relax be yourself and youl be fine!
good luck hope i helped and have fun,
Much
So i have this really good friend billy.. and hes really really nice and all. But he has a lot of flaws and doesnt know how to fix em. He hooks up with like at LEAST 2 girls per day because he loves the sex and he knows its wrong and he knows that he chooses this. Hes very strong Christian as am i. But I keep thinking that when ever me and him hang out something is always wrong and he just wont be straight about it. He has had a lot of crap in his life... hes been raped a couple of times, taken, hes seen his friend get shot before, he use to do drugs, use to be in a gang... but hes all better now and hes turning to God. The only problem is he loves the sex. And he has so much crap going on in his life that he can't even look at himself in the mirror if he knows that one of his friends is unhappy. Because he feels that its his job to make them happy even though hes unhappy. I don't know what to tell him. He opened up to me the other and he cried about it. he cant live on the rest of the day knowing that something is wrong with one of his friends. But yet he cant even take care of himself what on earth should i do? because i hate seeing him beat himself up so much?
Hey there,sorry to hear that your friend had to go through so much.
your already being a great help and very suportive friend,im afraid really thats all you can do for him you cant fix all his problems for him or make him stop having sex im sure he knows that too.
all you really can do is listen understand,be a shoulder to cry on and let him know your here to help and support him believe it or not it does make a huge difference.
encourage him everyday remind him not to be so hard on himself sure hes stuffed up alot but so has at least every human being at least once in their lives hes no different.
just continue what your doing already being there for him and hopefully things will start to get better and pick up and he will realise he needs to concentrate on making himself happy not others by having meaningless sex.
if things continue to stay the same or get worse i strongly sugest you recomend him to see a counseller it will really help him come to terms with all the stuff he has to deal with and move on.
hope this helps in anyway and your doing all you can do =]
good luck
Much
I have been married for 7 years. It has not been the easiest of roads. However, usually things seem to work out, but only to go down the same rocky roads over and over again. My husband has been my best friend, a good provider, and a good daddy. However, he goes on drinking binges. When he does, his brother is usually over here. His brother is a very nasty man that my husband happens to adore. His brother gets really friendly with me, and I usually take the kids and leave. Or my husband gets a nasty attitude with me and I have to take the kids and stay with a friend or at a hotel. This happens about every other month. I have begged him to get counseling and he promises never to drink again, only for his brother to come over and there's a drama that hurts me and my kids. I feel like I can't do this anymore, it get's worse and worse. My husband gets really irritable for about three days, gets drunk, treats me horribly, I threaten to leave, "he sees the light", everything goes good, and two months later it's like this again. He was married before and all of his children have been in prison. I'm afraid mine will go down the same road, yet I'm a child of divorce and it hurts so bad not to have both parents. I'm in such a catch 22.
Hey
okay first off i want to say how incrediably strong i think you are,youve had to put up with alot.
okay in my opinion you have the following options.
1- you can try ONE more time to work things out with your husband sit him down when he his sober and have a serious talk,tell him your fears,worries and how upset and stressed this all makes you. how its completely unfair to you and the kids explain that you are seriously thinking of getting a divorce if you cant work this problem out but you really dont want to what he needs is a shock to the system a wake up call he needs to see what he potentionlly could loose. offer to go to counselling with him let him know you are there for him but this is the last chance because you cant keep doing it over and over like ground hog day eventually it will take its toll.
he needs to get himself back on the straight and narrow for good,tell him that,get him involved with a counsellor and go with him to make sure he goes or some sort of AA meetings.
this is a long tough process but ive seen it work and I know it can be done,one of my mums friends was a hard up alcholic i remember when he used to stay over at our house it was awful id have to give up my room for him and i remember he used to go off really early in the morning drinking and come back later at night my mum eventually said enough is enough and that she wanted nothing to do with him unless he could get sober and he did,its been this way for 6years. explain to your husband the effect this is having on you and the kids,ask him does he really want his children growing having such horrible memories of him even hating him? or worse off without him.
hopefully he will see sense and sober up for good.
Option 2. you could save yourself all the grief and hassle straight away and just leave him now,i know you said you dont want your children to not have both parents but which is better?no father figure or a one whos abusive and drunk.
as of your children going down the same raod,your a responsable and caring mother and im sure you wont let that happen and if they have any respect for themselves or you they wont want to take that path theyv seen first hand the effects.
The choice is yours to make Ive given both options sadly I cant choose for you, im not even sure what I would really do in this situation its a tough one,just weigh both options equally and do what feels right and what your heart tells you to do make sure you have the full support of your family and friends too.
sorry this is so long! I hope I helped in the slightest,i wish you the best of luck in this
much
I recently discovered that my wife isn’t in love with me anymore. She hasn’t left me, but it’s come pretty close. I know that after we had our child, that the spark hasn’t been there. Our focus has become our child and our careers. I also know that I have made some mistakes in our marriage. But I do believe that I am a good man, and a good husband. She doesn’t have high hopes that we can ever get back what we used to have, but I do believe we can get through this. I love my wife more than words can describe and I just want to win her heart back. Has anyone gone through this and succeeded? Can anyone give me advice on how to make her fall back in love with me?
Hey there,im sorry you have to go through this and what im going to tell you is probably not what you want to hear.
but at the end of the day you cant "make" someone fall in love with you,and even if you did suceed in doing this would you truely be happy?
knowing that the love actually isnt real and it had to be first?
love is all about the persons feelings towards each other and unfortuneatly sometimes theese feelings fade and theres not much we can do but just accept that and try to move on with our lives.
she probably has no doubt in her mind that you are a good man and a good husband but she just doesnt feel anything anymore,its not fair to make her stay is it?she and you would be fooling yourselves.
you love her so much then you should respect her decesion and let her go if she 100% truely doesnt want to work things out ask her if shes definately keen on not giving it another go if the answer is yes well then there isnt much you can do. I'm sorry.
hope I helped in anyway,please think about what ive said
Much
well lets just say that im 14 and lost my virginity to a guy who left me right after we had sex because i was stupid enough to think he was the one.
But anyways,
i got fingered by him about 4-6 times and i dont feel anything no pain no pleasure is that weird?
and ive only had sex twice so it's still suppost to hurt the second time around right?
Hey,
Im sorry to hear that the slezebag used you like that it was wrong and unfair and you deserve heaps better,its good to see though that you realised the mistake and will know for future reference.
no its not weird everyone is different and in fact im the same i dont feel pain or pleasure thats just me you just have to work out whats right and feels good for you.
not nessecarily again this depends on the person,some girls dont feel any pain the first time some do,some feel it the first time and not the second.
sex takes a little getting used to so its normal for it to still be a little uncomfortable the second time round until you become like looser.
hope I helped =]
Okay.. I have long, curly hair and usually wear it up in a ponytail ALL the time for work because it gets frizzy when I start working even if its been straightened and everything.. I would really love to wear it down.. If anyone knows of something that would keep in undercontrol?? I don't know what they use like on Taylor Swifts hair because she flips it around Alot when singing but it never frizzes.. Anyway.. If anyone knows about anything let me know =]
Hey there I know what you mean =]
my sisters hair is exactly like this,im not sure the name of the products she uses to keep it smoothe she always seems to be changing it.
If I were you id talk to your hairdresser and ask her/him to recomend something for frizzy hair
I know there is special serums you can buy that you put in your hair while its still wet to control friz,also after straitening it there are all kinds of sprays and serums out there to control it some work better then others and its a case of basic trial and error to see which one works the best for your hair!
mines naturaly curly,but it straightens really well and never frizzes because i put layers into it.
I know that can make some peoples hair frizz and curl more but it settled mine now if i want to get that natural curl back i just have to moose my hair when wet and leave it to dry.
Hope I helped in any way
alright so i have this friend i guess and he always wants to hang out and i honestly don't want to hang out with him. he's really annoying and clingy. i don't respond to his texts and he still texts me like everyday asking to hang out! like he doesn't get the message, then after a week if i don't text him back he says "are u mad at me?" so i feel bad and say no. and i always make excuses to not hang out but i really just don't want to. i feel bad and i feel like a bitch but this kid says he's my best friend but i really don't want to be...what should i do? like i don't want him to hate me, i just want him to leave me alone and just talk in school.
hey,okay have you honestly even considered giving this kid a chance?,
I mean he must think alot of you to call you his best friend!,seriously whats the harm in just hanging out with him for one day?
have you ever hung out with him before? whats making you not want to even talk to him has he done something to you?chances are probably not
i think you need to be more open minded and just hang out with him once how do you know you dont want to,if you havnt ever..?
dont just overwrite him give him at least one chance he cant be THAT bad,he probably doesnt realise hes coming off as annoying or clingly he just thinks highly of you and wants to be your friend you should be flattered in a way.
try and explain to him nicely not to be so clingly.
Im sorry I couldnt be more help! and if this isnt exactly what you want to hear,but in my opinion i do think you should try to cut him a break (maybe you have and you still cant bear to be around him Idk,if thats the case just explain to him in the nicest way that you just dont want to hang out he should get the message,be nice and civil to him though)
hope this works out for you,this kid seems to really like you though.
just tell him that the way he texts you non stop can be a little annoying,he will soon get the message and back off and limit it then
I dont really want to post it on here so if you are good at giving relationship advice, then message me on AIM: xxdont4get143xx
Thanks!
Hey,I dont have aim, I have MSN though?
you could email me either my adress is on my column.
or you can post a question in my inbox,its private that way =]
i will start from the very start but cut it short
i met this lad at a mates house and apparently he liked me but i started going out with his best mate. for the month or two that i was going out with his mate i called this guy my best friend and was able to tell him everthing.the only thing i couldnt tell him is that i really liked him not his mate.so i split up with my boyfriend but just before i split up with him my best friend(the guy i like) told me that he really wants to get back with his ex. a few days after i split with my boyfriend i let my feeling out about how i liked this guy and we are now going out with eachother. the problem is that i am still thinking about what he said about his ex and how he wants to get back with her. everyday he mentions her or says that he spoke to her and i just get really jealous. i love this guy to peices and would be heartbroken if we split up but how am i supposed to ask him about his ex without sounding like i dont trust him because i do trust him i am just afraid. any help would be appreciated and i am sorry if this is long or confusing but i really do need help thanks x
Hey there =]
awh I think its great that you ended up with the guy you liked orginally,
what you need to do is relax though,he likes YOU he chose to be with you over the ex when you told him how you felt,keep reminding yourself that and dont be parionied dont be pre meditating things and worrying if hes going to leave you and just enjoy being with him.
if he wanted to be with his ex he probably would be already rather then putting you through the pain of saying you liked him then agreeing to go out leading you on and just splitting up with you for the ex that would be horrible and he seems to care about you alot seeing as you tell each other everything and you were great friends before being together.
i honestly think you have nothing to worry about,
but if you are that afraid explain to your boyfriend that he means the world to you and that you trust him completely but you cant help thinking that hes going to leave you for your ex all you really need is reassurance from him that hes not going to leave you and thatd be the response youd get straight away from him im sure. =]
if your really to afraid to ask him yourself get a friend to maybe quiz him about the ex,like get them to say "i thought you really wanted to get back with (insert ex's name here)" and see what his response is.
if he says something like how he does and blah blah well then hes an absolute coward for not coming out and saying that before getting with you because by not telling you would hurt you more,then as hard as it is youl just have to move on,because you deserve better.
hopefully this wont be the case and im sure it wont be either =]
good luck! I hope I helped in any way
okay so we broke up like a little over a month ago and i've been talking to his sister and she says that he has no social life since we broke up, and he's been being mean to his friends and stuff and he was doing better with me (he had a social life with my friends-guys&girls too but now they kinda don't like him cuz he dumped me). the last month while we were dating he would lie to me and tell me "his mom wouldn't let him go out" or "he had homework" and he never used to do this for like the first 6 months we were together. she says hes lazy but he still likes me. i guess what i'm saying is that i miss who he used to be...we were planning on hanging out when school is over, so my question is, do you think i can get him back the way he used to be during the first 6 months? how? things were perfect last summer and i want them to be this summer too. and please don't tell me to just move on, if worst comes to worst i know that i can. i just want to give this a shot because i do miss who he was. thanks so much. 17/f hes 17.
p.s. i've asked you previous questions before so this relates to all that too if you remember :) thank youuu. you're such a help.
Hey there =]
yep,I remember you, did you ask about him going on holidays with you?
and there was a previous question before that about the two of you giving each other space until summer?
hope im thinking of the same question.
anyway
his behaviour now is strange alright,I believe it could be possible to get the old fun guy back that you used to know,you just have to show him what hes missing by not going out with friends and just being stuck in.
convince him to just come out and chill one night,do things that you used to do when you first started going out and remind him of how good it was,how fantastic of a person you are and how great you were together as a couple
if you have any like special places you went to when you were going out go back there or if you two had a song maybe have it on a c.d in a car if your going somewhere with friends and be like "oh look our song" remind him of memories you two had and funny moments and stuff if you get me.
make him think like what have i thrown away and given up.
he probably feels stuck in a rut maybe that he cant hang out with your friends because of the break up explain to your friends that you wanna help him to feel like his old self again like last summer and go out and socailise and maybe by the end of it you two might get back together they should be understanding of it.
then what you need to do is ask him to just hang out as a friend and not to be overly pushy then from there you can determine if this is really worth giving it a go,if there still something there and if he still feels something. he probably just needs reminding.
try not to physc yourself up too much and get your hopes up because the reality is there that people change and sometimes they stay that way,i think its great that your not just giving up on him though hes probably just like going through a weird time where he is confused about his feelings and stuff..and is therfore pushing people away.
if theres no change after a while well then id advice you not to waste too much of your time because if it starts to look like its going no where and your efforts are being wasted then it really is (as much as i hate to tell you and you dont want to hear it) move on. (hopefully it wont happen though)
its good that you know you can =] and theres absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to give it a shot youve got nothing to loose and alot to gain.
because at least then youl know you tried your best and it just wasnt working you just have to accept the fact that people change it was the same for me and this guy i knew. he changed horribly was so funny and caring then just became a stuck up cocky jerk.
anyway I hope this helps in anyway and that i made some sense to you! good luck =]
and if youve any more questions please do ask,