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IM SO PISSED.
ok so i've had this boyfriend, M for 6 months today. and i just found out hes been going behind my back, and telling my friend A, stuff ive been saying about her.
it all started when i was mad at one of my friends and chewed him out, and he got upset and so A bitched me out about it, and that made me mad. so a few days later, i was on aim with M and one of my other friends, N. M, N and i were in a 3way chat. and A had logged on, and i was still mad at her. so i started bitching about her to M and N. and suddenly, A started bitching me out about stuff. and by the way she was yelling at me, it had sounded like she had heard what i was saying about her. so i asked N and M if they had told her anything, and they both said no. they both swore on their lives they hadn't said anything to her. although i didnt want to think it at the time, i had a feeling M had said something.
so tonight, A and i worked out our differences and we're friends again, but then she told me that she got mad at me that night because M had said "watch out, L(me) is mad. here's what she said, dont tell her" and she got mad, and thats why she said what she said.
so NOW, i know that M had lied to my face about not saying anything, AND that he had betrayed my trust and told her what i said about her!!
how am i supposed to handle this? because right now i just want to f**king kill him!! i know thats not the way to go, i really want to work it out and see what he has to say, but how can i bring it up and how can i keep myself from acting like a total bitch and ruining our relationship forever?
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Maybe if you told this girl everything to her face instead of behind her back, you wouldn't have this problem.
Don't talk shit and situations like this will prevent themselves.
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M is your boyfriend so you expected him to take your side,and because you trusted him.
However, just because you are a couple, doesnt mean he has to agree and listen to what you say, and not a let a friend know, what you said.
M was looking out for "A"
What's wrong with that?
Okay..It may have stirred things up, but he was only trying to the right thing, and let her know, that you were angry.
Just think if "A" was bitchin about you? You'd want "M" to tell you right?
YES....
So he was just looking out for "A" like he would of done, if it was you.
I am sure he only lied to your face because he didnt want to anger you.
I don't know.
But there is no need to get so "pissed about it.
He was trying to be the peacemaker, but it didnt pan out like that
Bring it up in normal conversation. let him know, you and "A" are friends again, but you didnt understand why he told her what you said. Let him know you trust him, but what you said was confidential, and you need him to know, that when you tell him things its supposed to stay between you two. Let him know that when you were angry with "A", you said things you didnt mean - when you are angry, thats what happens. And , you werent happy when he told "A",because those things you said were out of anger, not because they were true, and he needs to know, that when you tell him things, they need to stay between you guys, otherwise there is no trust and you feel like you can't turn to him when you need to vent.
Praise him that you know he tried to make it right between you two, but telling "A" those things complicated it more.
In future, try not to bitch about people you fall out with. Confront to them how you feel.
What you say, always gets around and twisted too.
And also I am sure it wont ruine your relationship if you argue - arguing makes you stronger as a couple. You cant tread on eggshells around eachother. That isn't healthy for either of you
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Okay this was a little confusing with the letters but il do my best to answer =]
firstly you all have got to stop bitching about each other to one an another.
it just causes more sh*t and problems and remember the saying "what goes around comes around"
it ALWAYS gets back eventually,trust me ive realised.
instead of bitching you should just confront the person about the problem head on tell them how you feel etc,i know we all like to have a little bitch now and again but it can do more damage then good.
before you say anything to your boyfriend relax and calm yourself down because if you talk to him when your this pissed its not gonna end well.
next time you see him say you werent right to be talking about your friend like that but fact is everyone does once in a while and it wasnt exactly fair of him to go and tell your friend.
he should have realised you were angry and upset and didnt mean it,and by telling A it made things alot worse ask him why he did it?
hopefully he will have a good enough answer and apologise also.
honestly i think you shouldnt make that big of deal out of this you all made mistakes realised it and its time to put them aside and move on,and learn from them in future =]
tell your bf you want to feel like you can trust him but be careful what you bitch about and to who in future its better to just get all your anger out on a piece of paper then rip it up feels like you have offlaoded it on somone,
anyway hope i made some sense to you!
and helped =]
<3
Jess [15/f]
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