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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm 16 years old and I had lost my virginity on December 22, 2012 and we had did it with a condem then when he was fin to come he took it off and pulled out when he came and after that I exprience bleeding from my vargina and I thought when he pop my cherry I bleed for three days then it stop and I'm scared that my period didn't come since I had sex and I'M read about early pregnant sydtom and I haven't exprience any of that but I'm having small cramps but not bleeding could I be pregnant I'm just scared of being a mother right now.

"when he was fin to come he took it off and pulled out when he came"

I'm not sure I understand that line. Are you saying he pulled out, took off the condom and came on you but not in you? If once he took off the condom he never entered you again the chances of you being pregnant are extremely small.

If he did reenter you the chances of you being pregnant depend on how much precum was on his penis when he reentered. Precum has semen in it and that semen is enough to get you pregnant if all other conditions are right. Depending on when during your cycle you ovulate depends on whether you were fertile at the time of intercourse. For most women it is around the 14th day of their cycle.

The best way to put you mind at rest is to take a home pregnancy test. IF it is negative your safe. If it is positive wait a few days and test again. If it is still positive you need to see a doctor.

its my first time nd im nervous like what am i suppose to wear or what to also whats goin to happen will he enjoy it? also im scared how to i keep my cool? wats the chances of me getting pregnant? im 19 and im a female!

First pregnancy: You are 19 and adult under the law. As such you are old enough to see any doctor you choose and ask for birth control medication. Birth Control pills are 99% effective in preventing pregnancy according to most of the information available. Condoms are only 85% effective when worn correctly. Even when the women is on birth control the male should still use a condom for two reason. First together the are far more effective in preventing pregnancy than just the one. Second; Condoms do prevent the transmission of many STDS and HIV.

As to your other questions. Below is a link to a website I found when answering similar questions for other young ladies. I suggest you read this before you and your boyfriend have intercourse.

What is most important for your enjoyment are these. That he find a comfortable place for you two to make love. One that is safe and secure that you will feel comfortable and know you won't be intruded upon so you can relax. Sex is the greatest when both partners agree on something. If either one say no to something it is no , not maybe or try it anyway. Also stop means STOP IMMEDIATLEY and no means NO. Make sure he understands this.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.

Enjoy your first time and get on birth control. Make sure to ask the doctor how long before the pills are fully protecting you. Taking the worry out of getting pregnant puts the enjoyment into sex.

Im 18 and my friend Ricci is 17. Basically, she 'likes' to drink. So, of course we will go out and drink with friends but I am not to fussed if I drink or not, also, when I do drink, I only have a few (2-3) and then go home. Ricci feels the need to get drunk all the time and if we arn't doing anything, then she wants to drink but if we can not afford to drink or we have no way to the liquor shop and back, then she gets in a bad mood and it is quite embarrassing when people are around. I also do not know how to talk to her about it. Im just worried about her, I don't want her to be an alcoholic when she's older.

Any time something becomes an all encompassing part of ones life to the exclusion of everything else it can be considered an addiction. The fact that you are both under the legal age to have alcohol or to consume alcohol makes her possible addiction all the worse. Is it also possible you two and specifically Ricci has been drinking well before your current ages?

There is a reason there is a minimum age for the consumption of spirits and you are seeing the major one. At your ages you are not, even though you may think you are, mature enough to drink responsibly. From what you have written Ricci certainly is not mature enough. Both of you in many states are also old enough to operate a motor vehicle. Is Ricci mature enough not to drink and drive? Or not to drive when she is so hung over she still can't see straight?

End of lecture; What I am about to advise your not going to like. Though if you have any feelings for your friend this is what you must do if you do not want to be attending her funeral. She may be able to hide her alcohol consumption from her parents but her parents have to know. Her parents have to intervene and get her medical help before it is to late and she does serious harm to herself or others. The worst thing she can do is kill someone while under the influence of alcohol. You can be legally sober and still be under the influence plus drinking while under age can brings a world of hurt upon her and her family. Whatever her expectations for life are can be ruined in an instant.

Yes she will tell you she hates you for telling her parents. What we can hope for is that this hate is a long, long, long hate.

People Ricci's age turn to alcohol for a reason. They drink to excess for a reason. There is a problem that she is battling with for which the alcohol brings on a numbness that allows her to feel something other than the hurt she is feeling. With proper medical help she can work through those problems and feel better about herself without the aid of a stimulant like alcohol.

So if you are truly her friend you will talk to her parents.

So I like this guy and I think that he likes me back but I'm 16 and he is 18 about to turn 19. I have never dated an older guy before so I don't know if that is weird or not. We know each other pretty well. I was a freshman and he was a senior last year. He is really cute and nice and I really like him but I don't know if the age difference is weird or not. Is it?

As a parent and grandparent I do not see a big deal here. Yes there is a maturity gap her but as solidadvice4teens advised, bring him over to meet your parents. IF they are okay with you dating him then I say go ahead.

There is a legal hurdle you need to check into for his safety. At 16 you are under the age of consent in just about every state. At his age he is considered an adult which brings in the problem of statutory rape. This charge has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with age and you being under age. Most states have an age differential clause though some states have tightened or eliminate this clause. This clause if active and having a 3 or four year differential would allow for you two to date without violating the law.

This is one area of the law that could ruin him for life and have him registering as a sex offender and predator for life. The fact that your parent may approve does not make for an exclusion. All it takes is one jealous person to say something to the police and they must investigate.

So for his safety talk to a lawyer, the police or a legal aid representative before you two get too involved. I would suggest you have his or your parents do this.

19/F
I was 'dating' this boy a few months ago, we went to the same school and we started talking and eventually hung out a few times. I really liked him, and he seemed to like me as well. the last time we hung out we had sex, and then he stopped talking to me completely. I had a conversation with him a few weeks later asking why he stopped talking to me and he said he basically said he didn't like me and that he made a mistake with having sex with me. So we stopped talking all together and it has been about two months. He is still always on my mind, I can't get him out! I have dated a few guys since them but i always find myself wondering 'what if' and thinking about him a lot. we are very different people with very different personalities; I am preppy/outgoing, he is more skater style and quiet. I want to start talking to him again SO BADLY but i don't know how. I have thought of so many different ways to text him; acting like I texted the wrong person, or just saying hi. I really don't know how to grab his attention. Should I just give up or pursue what I really want? And how would I even go about pursuing him? Help me i'm desperate :(

Funny thing about sex; it can ruin a perfectly good friendship or it can make life long mates out of two people. What makes the difference is the difference between having sex and making love.

I once read a study done by a research group about swapping. One of the questions asked was in effect, how can you have sex with someone then go home and have sex with you partner or spouse without guilt. The answer was almost universal. They said that sex with someone other than their partner or spouse was just hat sex. Like eating empty calories. Sex with their partner was making love and that was loaded with calories.

This seems to be what happened with you two. The two of you had sex. For him it was just that, empty calories, he got what he needed but it wasn't fulfilling. It doesn't mean the sex wasn't good. Just he didn't get what he was hopefully expecting or what he felt maybe what you wanted from it.

He is either truly no longer interested in pursuing a friendship or embarrassed by what happened. In either case I would suggest you let sleeping dogs lie and pursue other interests. If he changes his mind let him pursue you. It's more fund that way anyway.

.. I tryed to commit suicide once by overdosing and ended up in psycho hospital...( Those that u go for like 3 days to evaluate you) .. Idk ive been thinking about doing it again but the thing is that everyone else thinks I'm being weak selfish ect. I really hate my life. I have major depression disorder and I had bulimia for about 5 years ever since I was 13yrs old..I just simply want to die. I lost all my motivation and I don't want to do anything. I used to draw and I won some awards.. I used to b an A+ student and now I can bearly pass my classes. I cry every night. I know lots of people but I don't have many friends. I don't have communication w my parent bcz I don't even live w them. I live w my grandparents and sisters. Sometimes I just want to take all the pain away but it seems impossible. Ever since I was 13 Ive been dealing w this.
I just don't want to feel miserable all the time.. I am a weak person. And I believe that I have the choice to die because after all It is MY life. I know many of you will probably tell me the opposite but I'm set on that. I have also been seeing a therapist. You may say I'm crazy but I just really want to know ways on how to kill myself fast and easy...

You won't find answers to this question here. Here we help you find ways to live, help you find answers to the problems that make you feel this way.

You have not said why you and your sister are living with your grandparents and not your parents. You also haven't said if you are talking with your therapist about how you feel or if you are on any type of medication.

Those questions are important to us in order to offer you solutions or help for what is bothering you to think this way. I understand how you are feeling. At your present age with everything going on in your life all the changes happening within you and around you it can be overwhelming. There is help. Suicide is a solution not an answer.

If you are feeling suicidal at this time you need to pick up the phone and call 911 and help will be sent to you. You can also call the following hot line. They are the people at the National Suicide Prevention Hot Line. No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.

If you need a new therapist they will help you find one. If you need to see a doctor they will help you find one. Talk to them and tell them what is bothering you, they can help you.

I have been having vaginal discharge for a long time now. It is white mucus like. Alon with that, there is sweelling of the vulva, redness, discomfort, odor, slight burning. Which infection can it be? I have never had sexul intercourse and I am really worried about it. Embarrassed to see a doctor :/

I am a 20 year old girl.

First; you most likely have a yeast infection. This is a very common ailment among women regardless of their sexual activity. Their are any number of over the counter medications you can try thai may help.

Second; Never be ashamed of seeing a doctor for any ailment. A good doctor will never belittle you for anything that ails you that is not their purpose. There is nothing you could possibly seek there help for that they haven't most likely seen before. Even STDS which since you are not sexually active this cannot be.

It is understood that having to show your private parts to a stranger is not the easiest thing to do, even for men I would suggest you seek out a women Gynecologist which mike make it less embarrassing for you. You, when being examined, will be draped and only the doctor will see your vagina.

While your vagina is a sex organ it has an other function. Like any other part of the body it is subject to infection. When this happens you need to have it treated by a doctor not by home remedies, especially since you have waited this long. If you ever want to have children you need to have your reproduction system properly cared for by a gynecologist with annual check ups and pap smears especially once you become sexually active.

Tell your doctor you are a virgin and if your hymen is still in tact she will do the exam in such a manner as not to break you hymen unless you ask her to. Remember the hymen has a hole for your period blood to escape through.

My advice is to find a female doctor, preferable a Board Certified Gynecologist. Make an appointment and have this problem looked at. If you need help finding a doctor call your local hospitals doctor referral line.

i am from kenya, i bled when doing sex after 3 years of child birth will it occur the second time and is it normal

This is a question that you really need to discuss with your OB/GYN.

My wife Is vêry sick and in the hospital have worked for walmart only two weeks wé desperatly need this oppertunity ive already had to miss two days due to My wifes sickness she Needs me today would i ne fired

Talk to the store manager or human resources person about FMLA. This is the Federal Medical Leave Act which allows for employees to be granted unpaid leave to tend to sick family members.

I'm sure Eal-Mart has a policy for FMLA just not sure how it may effect a new employee or a part-time employee if you are on.

Why do I feel like I need a boyfriend. I wish I could enjoy the rest of my childhood without worrying about it. Whoever has the answers please tell me. 12 f

I'm glad you asked this question. There is very little in this world that YOU HAVE TO DO.

YOU HAVE TO:

Go to school - that's the law

You have to obey the law - That is societies rules.

As a child you have to obey your parents and respect all adults.

Their may be a few more things you have to do but those are the biggies. Other than that you can be your own person and do as you please. I was very much my own person doing what I wanted not what others may have thought I should do. When friends said I HAD TO DO SOMETHING. I responded with an old saying. "THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO DO IS LIVE, DIE AND PAY TAXES AND THE LAST ONE IS OPTIONAL."

What this means is There are very few things that anyone must do. That we are all individuals and other than what is expected of us by society we are free to do as we please.

So if you do not want a boyfriend there is nothing that says YOU HAVE TO HAVE ONE. IF any of your friends get on you for not having one feel free to use the old saying I used. They may not understand it at first but it will cause them to back off.

I have a random bruise on my spine and have had headaches I vomited blood and coughed blood and been feeling dizzy and I'm 16 when I was 5 my twin brother died of cancer

None of us are doctors and it is impossible to make a diagnoses over the web if we were.

The symptoms you write about are serious enough that they need immediate medical attention either at a hospital ER or one of the walk in clinics that are available.

Whatever is bothering you does not have to be cancer. Not knowing what is bothering you is far worse than knowing even if it is cancer for today we have far more cures than we did just last year.

So please talk to mom or dad. Tell them your sick and ask them to take you to the doctor.

My brother and I don't always get along, but when we do, we're good friends. As siblings will do, we pick on each other all the time. I usually laugh his comments off, they don't bother me, but if I say anything to him, he flies into a rage, and starts attacking me. And occasionally he may have no reason to attack me, but he does anyway. When we were younger it was okay, because even though I'm a girl, I was always taller than him, but now he's put up weight and is at least twice as strong as I am. I have often received injuries from him; a cut all along my hairline when he banged my head against a door frame, a bruise on my upper-abdomen when he kicked me in the stomach, a bruise on my ear, bite marks on my legs, he knocked one of my baby teeth out when we were kids, amongst many other things.
I have told my parents about it, but my brother has always been the golden boy. They say that I probably provoked him. If I call the cops, I will be the one to get in trouble, so I don't think I can do that... To be honest, I'm not worried about myself, I'll be going to college next year and I'll see a lot less of him. However, I am worried that he will treat other women the way he has treated me all my life. How do I make him see how dangerous his behaviour is? (Please note that I've broached this topic with him before, but it only made the abuse worse.)

It is a shame that you have had to put up with this abuse from your brother, its not right. You are correct in your thinking that if this is the way he treats you this is how he may treat other women in his life as he gets older. It is a shame your parents have turned a blind eye to this.

If there is no other adult member of the family you can turn to who might talk to you parents for you such as an ,Aunt, Uncle or grandparent. Then the only other suggestion I can make is that you talk to a trusted teacher about this when you return to school next week. There are rules in place for teachers and school administrators to follow when students come to them with these types of problems.

Question: Does your brother have behavioral problems at school? If the answer is yes, then by you advising a teacher or your school principle of how he treats you at home. Your advising them of this will give them a better picture of your brother. They will then be better able not only to help and protect you but to get your brother the help he needs which your parents may be refusing to see that he needs.

I went through a divorce, lost my home, lost my job, and declared bankruptcy in the last year. I am 57 and feel totally hopeless. I am on medication but I don't think it is helping. I am suicidal but haven't act ed on it. Deep down I know I don't want to die; I just want the pain to stop.!! Any suggestions please?

IF you are feeling actively suicidal then you need to get professional help. Suicide and suicidal ideation are the outward effects of depression. Depression, clinical depression, is generally caused by stress. From what you have written you have more than enough stress to deal with in the past year.

What I would like you to do is pick up the phone and call 911 so help can be sent to you. Don't worry about the medical bills as you will be taken to a hospital emergency room where you will be evaluated and treated. The Emergency rooms treat first and worry about payments later. There are many programs available to cover the cost.

Another phone call you could make is to the National Suicide prevention hotline. No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.

Depression hurts I know I've been there; it doesn't have too. The medication you are on may not be the right medication for you. Not all first choice medications the doctors choose always work. You can always go back to the doctor for a change in medications. Though if you are feeling suicidal now help is as close as your phone. Please either call 911 and tell the call taker you fell suicidal and let them send help to you. Or call the Suicide Prevention Hotline. Doing one or the other will make you feel better real soon.

DO NOT READ PAST THIS POINT IF YOU ARE UNDER 16 PLEASE . I Wanted to know if i'm the only one who has 1.been caught having sex and 2. been embarassed then looked back and found it funny.
So me and my boyfriend went on a romantic stroll and sit on the beach,time passed and we eventually had sex. I hear somebody on the phone saying something like ″Dude this guy is doggy stylin this sexy chick, get down here″ i think nothing of it. surely i miss heard him, right? My BF then goess ″i dont remember streetlights round here″ i look up properly and find out we were infront of some blokes house. Theres now roughly 10 audiance members on the bank cheering. we grab our clothes and run like shit!!
come oon, share your stories!! Tasha

Nice story, glad you and your boyfriend enjoyed yourself.

This site is not the place for sharing explicit sex stories. This is an advice website and we do not give explicit sex advice either. There are plenty of other sites on the web for this type of story and feed back. I suggest in the future you use one of those sites.

what age did you lose your virginity and how should I be. Don't worry I am not an judge mental person.I am a female and 12 about to be 13 on may 21.

Hi, I'm old enough to be your Grandfather so let me offer some advise that parents don't usually offer.

Your just a few months shy of entering your teenage years. A time in your life where you learn how to be an adult and to exist in the adult world. You mature in many ways during this time mostly because of hormones that are now starting to make changes in you and your body.

Among these changes are sexual awareness and sexual urges. During this period most teenagers have a number of relationships with the opposite sex. Rarely do any of them turn into life long relationships.

This is where the problem of sex comes in. For boys sex, love and lust get all mixed up. There sexual needs compels them to confuse lust for love; not all boy but the great majority of them. For girls it is different. A girl needs to feel she is loved if she is to have sex. To have sex to keep a boyfriend is wrong and it is wrong to haves sex to prove your love for someone. One of the oldest living lines a boy will use on on a girl is "IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WILL HAVE SEX WITH ME." If ever a boys says something like this to you run, don't walk as far away from him as fast as you can. He doesn't love you and most of all he doesn't respect you.

While it would be nice if women came to their marriage beds virgins, that ship sailed a long time ago. There are some women that do save their virginity for their husbands and that is their choice. No one thinks any less of them for doing so.

What will get you a reputation you do not want is to have sex at too early an age. Your present age is way to early. Your not mature enough and your body is certainly not ready even if you do look more womanly.

No one can tell you at what age to start having sex. All I can tell you is the longer you wait the better it will be. I would suggest that you at least wait until you are old enough to support a child should you become pregnant, meaning waiting at least until you graduate high school.

Everyday we get any number of letters from girls who think they are pregnant because they may or may not have had intercourse but a boys penis was close to their vagina and the were fooling around. Do you really need that kind of worry. For that is the result of having sex before you are truly old enough to have sex or any real sex play.

It is the girl and her parents that suffer the cost of teen sex. So think about it when a boy starts going to far. Set your limits and stick to them. Boys, the type of boys you want to eventually marry and bring home to dad will respect you for that.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for half a year now, Im almost 15 and he's almost 20. He is a very hardworking man, who understands me like my own dad (I never had one). We did not have sexual intercourse because he respects my desicions and doesnt mind waiting. He works, and I go to school. I hang on well with school with good grades like a normal Teenager and plan on moving to America to study. My bf works and plan on moving with me. My mam is starting to be okay with him because he likes to help out in my house and help my mam with house chores. although my Adult siblings think he has no future so they're not okay with us being together. His family dont mind the age gap,and treat me like im part of their family already.:) He smokes, but when we met, I told him not to, so suprisenly he stopped. his family was shocked.
So as you see, were madly in love with eachother, he's perfect for me and dont plan on braking up.
But there is one problem.. Statutory rape.
Im scared that someone will sew him to prison for dating an underage girl.
what will I do so the age wont matter?!?! :(

As long as statutory rape is a problem it will remain a problem as there is no way around that law. If you two being together offends someones sensibility and they report him he can go to jail.

Here in America the age of consent is in most states now 18, the same age you are considered an adult. That would make him 23. Not only would you be violating state laws on statutory rape but a Federal Law called the Mann Act. Here again there is no way around these laws. Plus there are a number of other laws a prosecutor could add which could put your boyfriend in jail for life.

My advice is that if you love him tell him & if he loves you tell him to look you up whenever you reach the age of consent for wherever you live. If you plan on moving to America for school tell him not to move here to find you again until you reach 18 years of age.

I know this is not the answer your looking for. The only option would be to marry and even with parental permission, at least here in America, you are to young to marry an may be the same where you are. So your only option to keep him out of jail is to separate until it is legal for you two to be together.

She threatened me with it yesterday. I don't know if she was serious but I'm a bit nervous about it.

Tom

Karate is a martial art. As with all martial arts they are taught to be used strictly for defensive purposes only. If your step-daughter is threatening you or anyone else with using what she is learning offensively the first thing I would suggest is you, not her mother, talk with the instructor.

Explain the circumstances of when and how this or these instances happened. Let the instructor handle it first. In many classes if you violate the rules, which this would be one of them, you can be expelled from the class.

To me it would be better if she was expelled, should the instructor feel that is the way to handle this, then for you to pull her from class. In many classes part of being expelled will be that she will have to explain in front of the class why she is being expelled if she ever wants to return.

To me this is a far worse punishment than you taking away the privilege.

The subject says it all. We have a good relationship otherwise and I do not wish to make a devisive issue out of it, but what is a Christion man to do in this case?

I agree with Braiden their is not enough information here to give you any type of an educated answer. There are many reasons for loss of libido. Some are medical that a doctor can correct with hormone pills.

Depending on your ages there could be other medical problems that she is having she may be reluctant to speak to you about. What is important in any marriage, even deeply religious marriages is that husband and wife communicate with each other even about problems that may be considered private reproductive matters.

The only thing I can suggest to you is to talk to your wife. Find out what is bothering her. Many times our worries are worse than what the problem may be and we are reluctant to go to the doctor to have them confirmed or even denied. Talk to her and if she is having medical problems see to it that she sees a doctor. If it is a problem one of faith talk to your clergymen togehter.

Who do I speak to to file a claim against Amazon.com? My seller account has been put on hold for 90 days because my Order Defect Rate doesn't "meet their standards". If buyers who are satisfied don't leave feedback, then of course the ODR will be low! Two people asked for a return out of about 8 sales. It's not fair that if people don't leave good feedback, I get penalized. Out of the 8-9 things I bought on Amazon, I never left feedback. Only if something is unfavorable would I leave feedback. It's not even necessarily feedback, it's the "wanting of a return" of a product that gets you this 90 day hold. This is not right and I don't know who to turn to. Please help me.

Most likely this is something the computer does through programing without a human reviewing. I would suggest you call amazon and speak to someone about this. If I am correct in my assumption they may be willing to override the computer.

So me and my boyfriend had sex he had a condom on when we first started doing it but after words he kept saying I need to take a shower and make sure I clean out down there I keep asking why and he just said that he may cummed touched me with it ... I had gotten my pireod the next day so I think I'm in the clear am I??? Still confused because a few days later he had gotten mad at me and said he took the condom off and cummed in me but I got my period!!!... I can't be pregnant right???.... I need some guidance

The other two advisors have given you good advise. I can only add this.

For your boyfriend to take off the condom because he got mad at you shows a big lack of respect for you as well as for your health and safety.

By taking off the condom he not only could have caused you to get pregnant, although I think your safe this time. He exposed you to any STDS he may have that a condom is designed to protect you from.

You need to not only take a home pregnancy test to assure yourself you are not pregnant. You need to be tested for STDS as well. I would also advise you find a new boyfriend as this one doesn't respect you.

As for the STD test. This must be done by a doctor or free women's clinic. If you are over 14 you can ask your doctor or visit a free clinic without parental permission under a law called HIPPA. This law grants you medical confidentiality for your reproductive health. Meaning you can make appointments to see and visit with a doctor without parental permission and without a parent being with you in the exam room. In fact a parent cannot be in the exam room while the doctor is examining you and the doctor cannot tell your parents anything you were examined and or treated for.

This is the law. If anyone in the doctors employ releases information to anyone without your written permission they can go to jail for up to 5 years.

When making your appointment just tell the appointment secretary or nurse you invoke your rights under HIPPA and they will protect your rights should you be accompanied by a parent.

Under HIPPA you can even request Birth Control without parental permission and the doctor will prescribed for you.

So take the home test, then get checked for STDS. Then hopefully you will also find a boyfriend who respects you and will not do as this one has done.

By the way even if you are on birth control the boy should still use a condom as they protect against the transmission of many STDS and the AIDS virus.

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