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Should I take my stepdaughter out of karate class?
She threatened me with it yesterday. I don't know if she was serious but I'm a bit nervous about it.
Tom
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Karate is a martial art. As with all martial arts they are taught to be used strictly for defensive purposes only. If your step-daughter is threatening you or anyone else with using what she is learning offensively the first thing I would suggest is you, not her mother, talk with the instructor.
Explain the circumstances of when and how this or these instances happened. Let the instructor handle it first. In many classes if you violate the rules, which this would be one of them, you can be expelled from the class.
To me it would be better if she was expelled, should the instructor feel that is the way to handle this, then for you to pull her from class. In many classes part of being expelled will be that she will have to explain in front of the class why she is being expelled if she ever wants to return.
To me this is a far worse punishment than you taking away the privilege.
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LOL thanks mate that funny!no seriously maybe u cld take it up too.!or talk to her..very embarrasing let her know thereSERIOUS consequences if she abuse thiis tel mum and ask if both cld talk to her...
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Into wife and I talked about this earlier as well. They are doing the classes together and she will address it with the trainer if there is really a need to do so.
She basically told me that Jamie (she's 14 by the way) was probably just kidding. She suggested that if I'm really worried about it I should challenge Jamie to a pretend fight and put her in her place playfully.
That seems a bit silly, but I don't think like a woman. Maybe that will work?
Tom
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Well, I would certainly take her out if she was serious. But, if it was some sort of joke (poor as it may be) then it would be an over-reaction, although in both cases some sort of disciplining is definitely in order.
Obviously I have no way to determine if she was serious, so I would suggest that you confront her and talk about it.
If she was serious, she really missed the point of karate. In fact, if her sensei found out he would probably kick her out himself (or herself as the case may be) or discipline her. The reason I would not go to the sensei however is because that will seem like you went behind her back. It's a bit like telling mommy rather than confronting the problem and I can't see how it would lead to anything good. She will feel humiliated and hate you for it.
Bottom line, sit her down and figure out what she meant. Either way make sure she understands this is not something she can ever say to you again, and if she was serious, then I would take her out of karate class right away.
Now, you said you were a bit nervous. If you are nervous because you think your step daughter could conceivably attack you, then there may be deeper issues here than a karate class. I don't know how old she is, or your specific situation, but in general a parent or step-parent should not be worried that their child will cause them physical harm. You might want to look at the cause of the problem here. Karate is just a tool, if you remove it, any underlying problems will still be there.
Good luck.
Oh, and on a side note, karate is not a particularly effective martial art. I don't mean this to sound sexist, but in the hands of a girl, I would not be particularly worried unless she was a black belt and was also physically strong. If push ever comes to shove and she does actually try something, remember they learn nothing about ground defence, so just take her down and incapacitate her until she calms down. This is probably the weirdest advice I have ever given, but at least you have your bases covered.
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If I were you I would speak with her instructor. Don't pull her out. Have him illustrate that what she is learning can be deadly and only used in that scenario, never practiced outside of class, nor threaten others with even in the context of a joke.
If he shows disappointment in her and senses she disrespects her parents he will get through to her better than you can about channeling anger correctly or he alone can say to her he doesn't want her to participate.
If you yank her out on your own you're the bad guy. Trust me hearing from Sensei that he's not happy over what she's said to you and how she treats her parents or you in particular will be motivation enough to get the attitude in check.
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Karate is a sport. If she can't be mature about it then I would talk about it with her mother. If it were my own child yes, she would no longer be attending. It is not something you abuse nor use against people in a threatening manner if not needed. Therefore, she has abused that right in my eyes.
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