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Should I Try Again?
19/F
I was 'dating' this boy a few months ago, we went to the same school and we started talking and eventually hung out a few times. I really liked him, and he seemed to like me as well. the last time we hung out we had sex, and then he stopped talking to me completely. I had a conversation with him a few weeks later asking why he stopped talking to me and he said he basically said he didn't like me and that he made a mistake with having sex with me. So we stopped talking all together and it has been about two months. He is still always on my mind, I can't get him out! I have dated a few guys since them but i always find myself wondering 'what if' and thinking about him a lot. we are very different people with very different personalities; I am preppy/outgoing, he is more skater style and quiet. I want to start talking to him again SO BADLY but i don't know how. I have thought of so many different ways to text him; acting like I texted the wrong person, or just saying hi. I really don't know how to grab his attention. Should I just give up or pursue what I really want? And how would I even go about pursuing him? Help me i'm desperate :(
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Funny thing about sex; it can ruin a perfectly good friendship or it can make life long mates out of two people. What makes the difference is the difference between having sex and making love.
I once read a study done by a research group about swapping. One of the questions asked was in effect, how can you have sex with someone then go home and have sex with you partner or spouse without guilt. The answer was almost universal. They said that sex with someone other than their partner or spouse was just hat sex. Like eating empty calories. Sex with their partner was making love and that was loaded with calories.
This seems to be what happened with you two. The two of you had sex. For him it was just that, empty calories, he got what he needed but it wasn't fulfilling. It doesn't mean the sex wasn't good. Just he didn't get what he was hopefully expecting or what he felt maybe what you wanted from it.
He is either truly no longer interested in pursuing a friendship or embarrassed by what happened. In either case I would suggest you let sleeping dogs lie and pursue other interests. If he changes his mind let him pursue you. It's more fund that way anyway.
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