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Physically abusive brother with bad temper
My brother and I don't always get along, but when we do, we're good friends. As siblings will do, we pick on each other all the time. I usually laugh his comments off, they don't bother me, but if I say anything to him, he flies into a rage, and starts attacking me. And occasionally he may have no reason to attack me, but he does anyway. When we were younger it was okay, because even though I'm a girl, I was always taller than him, but now he's put up weight and is at least twice as strong as I am. I have often received injuries from him; a cut all along my hairline when he banged my head against a door frame, a bruise on my upper-abdomen when he kicked me in the stomach, a bruise on my ear, bite marks on my legs, he knocked one of my baby teeth out when we were kids, amongst many other things.
I have told my parents about it, but my brother has always been the golden boy. They say that I probably provoked him. If I call the cops, I will be the one to get in trouble, so I don't think I can do that... To be honest, I'm not worried about myself, I'll be going to college next year and I'll see a lot less of him. However, I am worried that he will treat other women the way he has treated me all my life. How do I make him see how dangerous his behaviour is? (Please note that I've broached this topic with him before, but it only made the abuse worse.)
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It is a shame that you have had to put up with this abuse from your brother, its not right. You are correct in your thinking that if this is the way he treats you this is how he may treat other women in his life as he gets older. It is a shame your parents have turned a blind eye to this.
If there is no other adult member of the family you can turn to who might talk to you parents for you such as an ,Aunt, Uncle or grandparent. Then the only other suggestion I can make is that you talk to a trusted teacher about this when you return to school next week. There are rules in place for teachers and school administrators to follow when students come to them with these types of problems.
Question: Does your brother have behavioral problems at school? If the answer is yes, then by you advising a teacher or your school principle of how he treats you at home. Your advising them of this will give them a better picture of your brother. They will then be better able not only to help and protect you but to get your brother the help he needs which your parents may be refusing to see that he needs.
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I am a little sister of 3 older brothers. My relationship with my middle brother is kind of like this but it never gets too physical. He can tease me anyway he wants but if I do the slightest thing to him he flys off the handle. I can't say anything without him going into a rage. I don't personally have parents that pick favorites but I have seen many who have. I know even if a brother with anger issues is in a great mood if you bring up anything wrong with him when he is in denial of he can still be very dangerous!! I think it sounds to me like your brother has serious psychological issues with his anger and needs to see a therapist. Chances are your brother won't accept the fact he needs help easily. Go to someone your brother listens to and will take advice from. I know that the sister is often not taken seriously by them in this situation. Whether it be a best friend an aunt etc. make sure you are also comfortable with them, sit down and tell then everything you said here. Add in specific examples and make your concern as clear as possible. Ask them to talk to your brother. This needs to be a person your brother would/could never hurt physically and they need to not mention you were involved in this for your safety. Once your brother knows that they are concerned, he can perhaps accept that there is something wrong with his anger and he needs help. And if he doesn't, try more and more people like that until he does. Maybe round up an intervention type set up of all the people he loves that his anger has affected negatively. The best thing for your brother is to work through his problems but that won't happen until he realizes that he has them and decides he wants to change. You can't force change. This is a very hard thing to deal with that should be approached very delicately. Feel free to message me. I hope this helps. Good luck:)
-Ali
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I have an older sister and i'm the younger one...we would fight a lot like this too...not quite as bad but up there in the clouds with it. I think you need to come to him in a calmly matter when you both are in a good mood with each other. Tell him that he is your brother and you love him. You always will but you need to ask him why you guys always fight so much and hurt each other. Tell him it hurts your feelings and you dont want to leave for college knowing you might come home to fighting. See what he says the best time to talk is when you guys arnt fighting...Dont tell him you hate him ever..it could get worse...dont ever say you hope he dies..could get really worse or he could go kill himself. if this doesn't help you need to step up to the plate...if you're 18 you're an adult..you need to tell your parents to listen to you. Maybe you did provok him maybe not i wasnt there..but you need to make sure your parents listen to you and see how hurt you are. They are your parents and they need to care. They love you and hopefully will understand...I really hope i could help..from one hurt girl to another. Good luck!
Your friend,
Lenore
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It is never okay to abuse someone even if your kids. If your brother is putting you in danger them you need to withdraw yourself from him and cut him out. Take pictures of the abuse and report him to the police. Grab a restraining order against him and change your way of contact.
You may not like or want too hear it but its the truth. He is an asshole
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