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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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I'm 23 years old now, turning 24 on December. I'm not allowed to stay with anyone else & yes I have a father but he never confronts her. Everyone is scared of her. Anyway, as we speak, she's getting ready to travel with my sister. She didn't even ask me if I wanted to go with her. She just expects me to stay home & take care of my baby siblings while they are gone. I'm really on the verge of a breakdown.

I don't know how things are as far as young women finding employment and earning their own money where you live, of if young women can rent a place and find another female friend to be her room-mate and gain their own independance that way.
If the reason you haven't gone against mom's wishes so far is because she threatens to kick you out, no home, no food, to control you, then you will have to find some one else you can trust who will agree to offer you a place to stay while you make your break away from under mom's domineering thumb. Once you have an emergency plan of place to go if the worst happens, you go find work, and as soon as hired, you tell mom she can no longer count on you to be home all day to run the house and watch siblings, that you have a job and will do your share of chores when home from work. If she can't handle that and kicks you out, then you go to stay with your prearranged backup, whether a friend or other family member. Save up for the cost of getting into an apartment/flat, and make some friends. If no friend is looking for a room mate, advertise, especially near colleges for a roommate and once you have one, go for it, move into a place of your own. I hope all goes well for you.

Hi, I'm from Kenya and I have a painful question.
My mother and I having been having issues for months now and it's only getting worse by the day. She would look for the smallest thing I've done wrong and create a mountain out of that. She has shown me how much she prefers my sister to me and that really hurts me. Whenever she is stressed out, she will ALWAYS look for something to blame me for. She has said some very hurtful things to me, things a mother should never say to a daughter for example, calling me "cheap" infront of my friends. The worst part is no one can talk to my mother except my brother who now is not even talking to her. She scares me and I dread waking up to her everyday. If I had a choice, I would sleep and never wake up. Please help me!

Do you have a father to go talk to? What you describe sounds like you are not the cause of any of her behavior. It sounds to me like there may be personal issues inside her causing her to be like this. Perhaps she's simply unhappy with her life and unfairly taking it out on you, or, since I had a bad first marriage with verbal abuse, what you have said reminds me of what a verbally abusive person does. In many cases, the verbally abusive person is so, because there is some mental disabilities driving that behavior as ended up being the case for my ex husband. If mental illness of any kind, when it first shows up, it's subtle enough that people can go through life without anyone suspecting that, at worst, she's just a mean-spirited person. But that kind of behaviour can grow worse over the years. If you are an adult, try to find yourself another living situation rather than staying with mom. If you are not yet an adult, you need to reach out for help to other adults you know. Mom may be needing doctor intervention with counseling and you are not the one to tell her. It will work better if another person would talk to her. Do you have counselors at school you could confide in? Any extended family that live nearby in their own separate home, like aunts and uncles, grandparents. With the way you are feelings, I would guess you are depressed or will be soon and that will affect school too. No person can take the kind of treatment you are getting from mom and come out unaffected. Even you will need some counseling to heal but so does mom. Reach out to some local who can actually help you.

Last night I had a dream about this guy that I swear I've met before, but I don't know where. Maybe I haven't met him, but I'm not sure. I remember what he looked like in my dream vividly. He had longish fluffy dirty blonde hair. Sky blue eyes behind thick black rimmed glasses. A really adorable white smile. Obsessed with dark clothing, especially his black converse. His name was Michael as it was written many times in that dream. I showed him the note I wrote for the Horned God and he didn't judge AT ALL. And he said he was EXACTLY like the guy I asked the Horned God for.

What exactly does this mean?

I know a gal who was given the name of the guy she would meet and marry. She was Christian and wanted a Christian guy. Soon he starts attending the same church and his name, Mark, was the same name she had in a dream. She was in her 20's when she got this dream and of marrying age. But thats the only one I know of. Generally I don't think many people get visions of the exact look and name of the person they will be in relationship with. Just saying that you can't count on your dream having that clear a meaning.
The image and name may be something your subconscious supplied randomly just so in the movie/dream you weren't viewing a faceless, nameless person, that would be awkward.
My guess is that your beliefs are very important to you. As a pagan you want a guy who is going to accept your beliefs because you know that there are people who would judge you for it.
If you are dreaming of it, more likely it's more important to you than what you saw in your dream. Rather than just finding someone who doesn't believe in the Horned God and the Goddess but will allow you to without judgement,
you may really be hoping for a guy who does believe, whether he is a solitary in his practice or is part of a group and active in following Sabbaths and/or Esbats. I think the key is him saying he is Exactly like the guy you asked the Horned God for. Don't limit what you can recieve by asking exactly for a guy who only will be okay with it, but set sights higher for one who believes the same. My second husband wouldn't label himself Pagan or witch but just Spiritual. I started Christian and went to a broader all encompassing Spiritual belief, I have heard eclectic pagan. That might fit, cus it seems we both believe lots of the same things, and I can't say how wonderful an experience it is to have a man who will uphold his lady as the representation of the Goddess and call me one. He also recognizes me as a Witch though I've never identified myself as one. I can be wrong about the dream but i think its more your subconscious mind trying to get a message to your conscious mind to never settle for less than a guy who is practicing the same belief as you. Blessed be dear.

so i like a guy in my school i think there may be some flirting ongoing but i most likely would be totally oblivious to that since i am stupid.i may have also totally blew it cause of being the master of the weird convo

Do you ace every test you take in school the first time? Learning in school is a process, you make mistakes and learn by them, don't you?
Well dating and relationships or the learning process about how to be successful with a guy is not going to be an instant success, like a perfect test score. Dating is it's own learning process, but too many don't pay attention and just enjoy the feelings and never really learn anything and make the same mistakes over and over and over. If you did that in a class, you'd flunk it.
So just because you feel you didn't make a good impression or did something awkward, it doesn't mean you blew it. Start researching whatever you can on flirting, body language when someone is interested, do's and don't of dating. There is much to be found on the internet. If you cant get it with iphone, use a computer. If you dont have a computer, go use one at the library cus honestly, there's lots there. I keep studying that sort of thing myself to keep current on what to pass on to folks like you. There's great stuff on you tube videos too. How a guy shows interest is as simple as looking at you often or staring lots. Smiling and saying hi and greeting you by name is also a sign...especially if your the ony girl he's doing that with. If he greets every single girl he passes in the halls with her name and with smiles, then he's just a friendly type who treats every one the same.
Other signs are finding excuses to be standing near you, an arms length away (or closer) so that if you or he raised your arm you could tap the others shoulder without taking a step closer. Sanme thing trying to sit close to you. Then finding natural seeming reasons to touch you, pretending to accidentally bumping your arm, giving a pat on the shoulder for acing a test, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, pretending to brush an eyelash off the cheek, or lint off your clothes. It can be the real thing but why wait for that when one can pretend. Girls do all the same stuff. If he is always trying to engage you in conversation, yes he finds you interesting. Leaning in towards the person when they are talking to you is another subconscious move we make that we aren't aware of unless we're looking for it that shows interest in the other person and something called mirroring. If you change position to cross your legs while sitting and he shifts his legs to a new position also, just not the same one, its still mirroring, another subconscious move we make when interested in someone. I have noticed all of these when I went out on dates and was looking for them.

During our school days we dont have previous experience with relating to the opposite sex so it's going to be awkward. What works for me is any time I feel like I just did or something awkward or dumb, cus I was nervous or in a weird mood and regret it immediately, I say something about it. You dont have to apologize for what you said/did. Bring attention to it in a self realizing way. Example: "Wow, did I really just say that. Thats kinda awkward. I guess I just want to make a good impression and lacking any experience in talking to guys makes me a bit nervous. Can't promise I won't do it again, but I sure as heck hope you won't hold it against me."

If he really is a sweet considerate guy, he will surely say something to put you at ease and tell you either he found nothing awkward about what you said, or that he didnt really mind and understands. He might even confess a thing or two himself. Once you can confess your awkward moments, that takes all the fear and worrying out of the event and no more worry about future events because you've just learned that he's very understanding, encouraging person. So don't give up yet girl!

Ok so I wanted to know whether I'm an early bloomer or not. I am almost 12 and most of my friends have smaller or flatter chests even though I am an a cup and my breasts are triangular.
I believe I have way more pubic hair than most of my friends. For mine is dark, curly, and almost up to my thighs. My friends have told me that their pubic hair is tiny in amount and is blonde. However, one of my friends about a year ago who is also my age changed in front of me and was about the same level with puberty that I am now. I believe that she was.a.very early bloomer considering that we were 10 when this happened. My friends whom I have changed in front of have also told me that my breasts are big. I do not have my period but it is definitely coming soon. Please tell me if I am an early bloomer

Age ten or eleven would be considered being early. But that's not entirely odd. Lots depends on when a girls mom went through puberty, and believe it or not, diet too can have an impact. For a while, any meats eaten still contained all the growth hormones given to the animals to get them to market maturity faster. All those hormones in meat have an impact on some young females. Our family was not heavy meat eaters, almost vegetarian, so my daughters all developed their breasts a bit slower than their peers in the beginning but by 16, 17 18, everyone is pretty much caught up with each other.
As for periods, girls these days generally are getting them anywhere from 10 to 14 but the majority are in the 12-14 range. Although it is not unheard of for a girl to start later at 15-17.

An A cup is not a big breast. big compared to the friends maybe. But you will likely continue to grow in chest size and by time a few years go by, no one will ever be able to tell who got their breast first. An early bloomer may be destined by genes to only have a B cup. Her friend who is a later bloomer, once starting growing, can quickly go past her to end up between a C and D cup. So when a person starts puberty really can't be counted on as having anything to do with the end result.

Hey I'm a sophomore in high school and I'm going to Homecoming with my boyfriend this year.
I already have my dress, and i need help with hair, makeup maybe even nail ideas.

Info about appearance: I'm 5'7, not overweight but not stick skinny. So around average. Tan skin. Long wavy Brown hair.

Dress: Mid-Calf. Bright red, open back (kind of, to shoulder blades) Halter neck

So I never really wear make up so I kind of wanted to try some stuff. I have hazel eyes and a tan complexion. Like eye-shadow, eyeliner that stuff. But i'm not sure what colors would work for my eyes that wouldn't clash with my dress.

Ok so I have wavy hair. And it's really REALLY thick. People like it straighten, people like curls. I'm not sure... Then there is this whole, updo, half up half down, down thing??

Well I'd just like some ideas. So any input would be nice :) Thank you

By now, depending on shape of your face, you already know if you look better with your hair down or look just as good with it pulled back away from your face. Some people believe that a fancy do of lots of hair piled up in swirls and curls is the only way to go. I remember the one daughter who did go to prom with her girlfriends paid to have their hair done and yet it it was all mostly hanging down, just a bit more teased and poofed up, more volume on top before it hung. I don't know if you want something simple you can do yourself or mom or a friend can do. But if anyone is good at doing braiding, I've always done better braiding for daughters than doing a fancy up do. If you want to distract from the thickness of your hair, braiding might just do the trick. Practice now and see if any family or friend and get it to look good. There are books on fancy braid hairdo's that look as elegant as the salon done updo's. One i loved doing with my own hair and found simple to do was pull all hair back in a high ponytail. Then separate hair into 5 chunks, if you need more do so. Each chunk gets turned into it's own braid with a tiny rubber band for the tip. So there should be 5 or more braids hanging down. Then you take each end and tuck it up under towards base of ponytail, using bobby pins to secure. Fan the braids out, securing where needed so you have loops of braids like basket handles half hanging, standing out from the head and it looks very elegant. I believe there may be some good fancy braiding style tutorials on you tube, easier to watch someone doing it rather that figure out from diagrams in a book. Basically, just start trying different do's each weekend early. See how easy it is to do, and how well it holds up and how much you like the look, wearing the dress with the do, have someone take pic's of it. So when the time comes closer, you can remember by the photos and choose one that holds up a long time and won't come loose. If your guy is a male who visually enjoys long hair better than up-do's, then you may choose to wear your hair just hanging down and pull one side only back with a hair comb or sturdy clip. think of Hawaiian girls with a flower tucked behind one ear. You can prepare ahead if you decide this simple style will make a bigger impact on him. get a silk flower that goes along with the shade of your dress and use hot glue gun or other such good adhesive to attach it to a hair clip, perhaps several flowers and their silk leaves as well. This summer I made flowered hair clips to wear with a fairy costume to Renaissance fair. I used the leaves to cover the clip and then flowers groups together on the clip. From the side of clip that would be at the lowest point, I attached fine satin ribbons that hung as long as my hair. on the satin ribbons, I glued on more silk leaves pointing downwards. I got lots of compliments on it and people asked where I bought it..LOL
If you don't usually wear makeup, I wouldn't go all out. Your guy likes you just fine without makeup. He may be one of those males who actually prefer the natural beauty look. A good bet would be to leave it at just a liner and mascara for the eyes, and if you're hoping for a kiss somewhere along the evening, wearing lip stick is a deterrent to guys, cus they don't want to get lipstick on their face. But you can still color the lips if you use just a lip liner pencil, it's drier and stays put, pretty much dying the lips rather than covering them with color that smears off too easily. The lip color doesnt have to match the dress. Just go for a pinkish or plumish shade that brings your lips to attention more, still natural looking for you, but not a shade that makes the lips the only thing a person sees and focus's on.
Blend the color from the edges, in toward the center and cover with a clear lip gloss for shine. Hope this gives you some ideas.

im a 22yr old female.

i am currently in a relationship that has been good for 3 years. just recently we have been arguing daily about everything so i decided to move back into my parents to give each other some space. we still argue a lot, the other thing to take into account is he has ADHD (has medication for it) yesterday he accused me of cheating because i did not answer my phone because i fell asleep as soon as i got in from work till the following morning (6 pm till 6 am). I feel he has lost trust in me, i can not even see my friends (which he knew about in advance) with out him kicking off at me. Don't get me wrong i love him to bits but i am starting to loose my tether with it all. please can someone put this into perspective for me? i feel like im going insane

Your title is a question in itself...is it just clashing or controlling behavior. Not many people your age even think of the term 'controlling' from what I've seen in questions asked. I suspect you already know that's controlling behavior. I've known grown men with ADHD who are married, both ones medicated and those not, none of them exhibit controlling behavior because ADHD has nothing to do with that.
So now as to why there is this arguing and clashing after 3 really good years,I find it odd that you can say it was good then all of a sudden changed to accusations, not trusting you and controlling you and who you see, even friends. People can act differently if they are ill, or stressed and that could account for being irritable and finding it easy to argue and find fault. But controlling behavior to my knowledge and experience has never come from someone being sick and thus having a short temper or stressed about something having nothing to do with you to begin with. If it was something you weren't doing for 3 years and all of a sudden started doing, you'd have a suspicion the change you made is what is irritating him. Instead of tossing accusations, resolving disagreeances need two people discussing the situation, spelling out what they are feeling, owning their feelings, not accusing the other of causing their reaction, nope, that comes from within.
giving each other space won't make what is eating at him inside, go away. Even if you did do things unknowingly that irritated him, his choices of how to handle it, were not mature adult ones, but childish ones.
I have known some real 'controller' personalities in life. I get along peaceably with just about anyone. It wasn't for lack of trying but I have found that controllers are one of those people with a difficult mental disorder that is hard on relationships if not killing them entirely. Another I've read of is bi-polar people don't have successful relationships either. It is very stressful on the more normal partner, who can feel as you do, like you're going insane. But if that is his actual problem, I can assure you its not you. It is hard to love someone like this because more often than not, the relationship is not going to go anywhere. You need to decide how long you want to hang in there for him and remain available as his girlfriend, waiting to see if things get better.
One more point, any guy who would accuse you falsely of cheating is a very insecure man to begin with. Until he see's a counselor to work on that and more, he will continue to feel threatened by your friends, male friends, or any male in public who even just looks at you, because his subconscious knows there is something wrong with himself. Its his conscious mind that doesnt want to or isnt ready to acknowledge it. You can't convince such a person to go see a mental health specialist to unlearn some of this destructive behavior, one of which is letting his thoughts run wild and believing his thoughts to be the truth... when it is nothing more than his imaginings. It doesnt look promising to me.
I don;t know how long of the 3 years you lived together but most people with serious issues as he has can not hide it and put on their best behavior and show that false personality for 3 years in length, 3 months at the most, not 3 years. So I am guessing that this may be something like my situation with my 1st marriage at age 20...where I excused away certain behaviors from the beginning, and it slowly got worse until I could no longer deny, and neither could my family that he was verbally abusive. He never did get better. Things got worse and i can say from experience, the stress of such a relationship, long term (30 yrs for me) will over time cause your physical health or you emotional health to suffer. In my case it was physical.
These are just a few other things for you to think about. I am sorry to have such depressing info to pass on dear.

Keep this one last thing in mind, dating is not something that you try to prove to others you can do long term. The true purpose to dating is to stick with someone long enough to discover things about them that you like and what you don't like. If the don't likes are minimal and you can live with it, you continue on. If it may be detrimental to your well being and health, you break up and look to make improvements in the next dating relationship, never settling for less, and with each person you date, forming an idea of what you want in a guy and what you dont want and sticking to that list.

my bf broke up with me and i acctually thought we had a great connection he told his best friend it was his grades but he told everyone else i dont know why i broke up with her. so do any of you know any resons beside of his grades he would have broken up with me.

If you didn't leave anything out, it looks like he Talked to everyone but you about it as you said, his best friend, and classmates. There is no reason why you can't ask him and ask why if he hasn't told you anything at all. It would be common courtesy to give some kind of explanation to you, but lots of people when first dating or even later, haven't figured out yet what attracts them to a person, what the purpose of dating is or how to break up if they want out no matter what.
If he told his friend it was because of his grades, that is probably closer to the truth than what he said to just other kids he's not close to. It's none of their business so when asked why not dating you, it's easier to just say "I dont know why"

I have read that males can prioritize important things in their life and will keep as top priority the 3 most important with others falling somewhere else on the totem pole. Things a guy will juggle in importance is" School and studies, job if there is one, his family, his friends, any team/sports he's on and a girlfriend.
It a guy is good at organizing his time properly, he should be able to handle more than just grades. Perhaps he wastes time alot, not buckling down to do homework. Yes, thinking about a girl can be a distraction...what guy isn't thinking about women at any given time? And they still handle all their other responsibilities.
You won't find him admitting he has been lazy and dodged doing homework if thats the case. He truly should be able to handle having you as a girlfriend, even if you're not a top priority cus his after school job and sports team comes first as well as family commitments. But cutting you out totally? I'd say something is up and someone isn't telling the whole story. So ask him.

So I've been talking to this guy over the phone (texting) and he's a good friend of my best friend! He told me he likes me and I really like him too!I haven't met him in ages but heard a lot about him from my friend! Now he wants to date me... We talk often and I think he wants a committed relationship just like me! How do I make sure that he wants the same?
I've met him previously! He's shy! He is going away for his masters to Europe next month for a year! I asked him how do I get to see him and he asked me if I'm okay with Skype relationship for a year !I think if it survives long distance, it's the real test! I have problems initiating conversation with him! Is that bad? Do relationships work if it's long distance? Please advice :)

I will describe the drawbacks for a LDR and you can decide for yourself if that will work for you. I wouldn't call it bad, but it is no where near what a real face to face relationship is as far as being able to learn in depth things about the person, you can read or hear his spoken words but will lack the closeness of being in person for him to be able to back up those words....words are cheap, actions speak louder. There is also a lack of ability to gain trust. Until proven guilty, of course we are going to trust someone. But our minds play tricks on us. How do we really know they didn't go out with friends to that party and actually meet someone they really liked and were attracted to. Then we wonder whether our significant other is torn between two people and lonely and going after the one that is conveniently present in the flesh rather than the one who is at the other end of the computer or phone line long distance.

Another pitfall of LDR's is over imagining what things will be like with that person. So far, you've only met in person once or twice and most of what you know is by phone calls. The parts of a relationship that you can't experience because all you have is phone calls or going into an LDR will be filled in by your mind for now in what I call theatre of the mind.

What you see and get on screen is a flat one dimensional thing, its too easy to misrepresent or lie and its hard for example to know what the person is like 24/7 when sad, angry, worried, happy and knowing whether you can handle that. There is no opportunity to experience life together and build trust , experiences you have solid proof of by going through together. ON Line, you can only suspect trust having been broken but cant know for sure. LDR's are mostly nothing more than a fantasy in ones mind. The mind imagines and fills in the gaps of what it can not experience in real life. Thus I call it theater of the mind.
People who have had a relationship in person for some time, enough for it to be a solid relationship before one takes off for school or service in the armed forces, have a better chance of making it through an LDR because the LDR is just a short portion of time in an already established working relationship where both are deeply in love with each other, so its actually a good thing, a way of them keeping in touch and helps the time apart to go by better than without any type of contact.
In your case, a relationship hasn't been established yet. Having contact thru the long distance thing for a year is really nothing more than putting the start of exploring a dating relationship on hold.
I can understand wanting a commited relationship. Good for you! But I'd like to give you some perspective there compared to where you are at right now. You want to make sure he is interested in a committed relationship. So first lets check what our definitions of a committed relationship are. Is a committed relationship in your mind, one where he has asked you to date him? To me, a committed relationship is not the next stage after being attracted to someone and realizing you like them. That kind of 'liking' is based on looks and surface level things you can pick up on about the other person. That is not the kind of liking in dating where you keep discovering more things about the person and all you find, makes you develop stronger feelings for each other until you discover you both love each other. That's when you move to the next stage, a committed relationship.
In the dating stage, you may discover too many bad personality traits that lay hidden, things you wouldnt put up with...like for instance, a guy who hasn't grown up totally, is more like a little kid wanting to find a girl who'll be his mommy and take care of him. I dont care how good the sex is, a guy who can't handle or wont handle adult responsibilities and leaves it all up to the female, is not pulling his weight in the relationship. this is something you wont begin to notice until in a dating relationship. Sometimes a thing like that won't be discovered until the next stage, the committed relationship, many of which have the couple living together, married or not. It's here where nothing can remain hidden any longer. In my opinion it is at this stage that the worst heart break occurs having to break up because of the bad things when your heart is already so attached. Dating is only a way of finding out if a person might be right for you or not. If not, take what you learn and improve on it in the next relationship.
You dear, have not got a dating relationship with him yet. All you two have established is an interest in getting to know each other better, an attraction. You can not skip the dating stage and have a committed relationship. People can speak the words and promise commitment to each other, yes, but the reality is that emotionally, neither of them were there yet. That means no matter how good intentions are, too many things can go wrong, and it is too easy for one or both of the people in an in person or LDR relationship to drift away, and find interest in another person. That is where people think cheating is happening. I say its a matter of giving ones word for commitment out of ignorance, not understanding they are skipping a stage.
If you want commitment, you are going to have to put the dating on hold for a year, then when he gets back start dating to find out if he is someone you can picture yourself with until the day you die. If there are too many area's you find he is not perfect for you, those things about him will eventually get old real quick after some time goes by in a commited relationship. Never settle for less. Its the ones who do who end up feeling stuck in a relationship going no where, unsatisfied, and wanting out or too chicken to ask for out, and start cheating.

Once you've dated a substantial amount of time to have a pretty good idea of who he is and fall in love with him, that's when you move to committed relationship.
Sometimes a relationship can happen when the two people finally have the opportunity to be together in person after a long distance correspondance. I wish you the best. If its meant to be, it will happen.

Hello, so I started talking to this boy on Saturday and it's been pretty good but since yesterday he havnt been calling me or texting me and he hasn't been answering my calls. When I do call him it goes straight to voice mail. Is he tired of me? Should I just give up on contacting him or should I keep trying?
Im fifteen and I'm a girl.

It may depend on how you starting this talking or communicating a week ago. Is this someone you see in person like at school daily and finally talked to. Did you have a nice long conversation or only long enough to exchange phone numbers?

If you never really had conversation with him, there's no sign for him to know whether he's interested enough in you yet to pursue you further, no hook yet. If he sought you out, then he has some level of interest. If you sought him out and he answered, he may or may not be interested and was only being polite to exchange numbers.

Not all guys like using a cell phone to call, and theres even more who don't like typing and texting.
Did he ask for your number? If so, he is interested but may not be good at prioritizing his time. Guys can juggle many things important to them. If you dont make one of his top 3 priorities, then you have low priorty and may not have much contact from him.
If you asked him, again its hard to tell if he really is interested in you or not. He jsut may be too embarassed or feel awkward to not give it to you.

Guys get distracted in texting. They get busy with what is within reach in their world and will forget to contact or get distracted. If you see him at school, contact him there instead of leaving messages. Ask if he's got a busy schedule. Maybe his grandma just died. If you contact a guy too often with no response, you will make yourself look desparate and that is a turn off to boys. They like confident girls who know what they want and are not afraid to ask for it. So in person, you ask if he is interested at all in spending some time with you to get to know each other better, Youd like to go out with him. Is there time in his schedule? When what date, what time, where shall you go, lets decide. If he hems and haws, give up on him and look for another guy. Just seeing you move on to date someone else may make the first guy wake up and realize you're the kind of girl he could really be interested in. But thats not guaranteed.
In relationships, face to face convo is best.

20/f

I have personally been very unlucky in the love department. But I feel that I'm not the only one. All around me I see people falling out of love,pretending to be in love,cheating,marrying out of interest,only going after sex and what not. Seeing all these things done by both men and women (although being a woman I often feel men are the emotionless ones) I wonder if love has become a thing of the past. It's like,if you're a guy,you only get the girl if you're rich. If you're a girl,you only get a guy if you look like a model. Personally I don't care what a guy owns because I'm a woman who is taking care of herself very well and I need no man to support me. But I don't look like a model,really. I'm good looking but not that much. And it seems like no one is willing to overlook physical flaws or a lesser financial status and love is non-existent in that case. I would really love to meet a guy who appreciates me for who I am-not for superficial things that can change any day. Are there no more men or women who can love? Has it only become a matter of some sort of interest?

Yes love does exist. You just wanted to be reassured that it indeed does. You won't find many good examples of it in your age bracket though and thats why you are feeling disillusioned.

Part of the issue is that the part of the brain responsible for maturity level and good decisions, is not done growing yet and wont reach maturity until mid 20's. However from watching my kids and their friends, I can say that truly the official testing saying we don't mature until 25 seems off to me, as I see young people having maturity problems until they reach 29, 30 31, these days.

Too many young people have parents who stayed married but were either just co existing and no longer in love or they never were in love, or stayed together just for the kids but fought and couldnt stand each other. Happily married parents who were lovey dovey with each other and the children seeing how two people in love with each other treated each other is now rare. The problem snowballs when the next generation not having a clue starts dating and trying their hand at relationships. Without good role models, young people today are like fish out of water, totally incapable of having a successful relationship. And unfortunately there is no widely broadcast seminars, classes, books, shows on what dating is about and how to have a successful relationship.

So we end up stuck, having to fend on our own and most of us do a pretty rotten job at it, I know I did when I was 20. I ended up getting married at that age thinking I really knew the guy. He fooled others too. Ended up being verbally abusive the entire marriage. I was one who stayed with him til my girls were adults. As a result of witnessing a poor example of what a healthy couple relationship is, all my girls are floundering when it comes to relationships. None of them have had any real successes yet. I feel badly about that. All I can do now, is warn other young ladies.
This falling out of love at a young age, dating only a short time to only a yr or two, could be due to neither really knowing what they wanted in a partner and simply happy to have someone say yes, they'd date you whether they are right for you or not. Or . . . it could be the excitement of newness that brings on a heightened sense of feelings so people think they are in love, but this period of heightened feelings is short lived, and after a few months fades and eventually disappears totally. So if a couple who are mismatched last a yr or two before breaking up, then they were ignoring or denying that there was something wrong, too scared to start all over and wanting to make it work. But thats like trying to ride a dead horse...you can't make it happen.
The best thing I can suggest is that you decide what it is you are looking for in a guy, what it looks like so you'll recognize it when you see it, what personality traits you don't like, any major differences you dont see eye to eye on, like having kids, religious beliefs, what habits are ok or not like drinking, smoking, drugs, gambling. You may not want someone who can't keep those under control. So make yourself a list of the things you've liked about guys so far, what you'd want to have in a husband. One column is Needs, like needing a guy who wants kids someday as much as you. Needs are deal breakers. If he doesnt meet this criteria, you wont date him or consider him. A list of wants is not deal breakers. More like icing on the cake...a sweet deal but not necessary. Example: wanting a guy who prefers wearing his hair long, but any style, short or even shaved head will be okay. Keep adding to this list as you experience things in dating. Dating is not about long lasting boyfriends. Dating is the checking each other out period. If they're perfect for you, both decide to go to the committed relationship level at which point they see each other much more and often move in together. This is good as its a time to discover some things that can still be hidden when living in separates places. Even a committed couple can discover deal breakers in this stage and break up...and that is good. Thats what you want, is to eliminate the ones you know you could not handle putting up with their bad points for decade after decade until the day you die. Guys get more serious about looking for a woman to marry the older they get.
Heres another thing to keep in mind. In the dating stage, not all guys will date exclusively, many will date several girls at once at first to discover which one they want to invest all their time in and let the others go. There are females who will do this. I did after my divorce but the difference is I was upfront about it telling the guy that agreeing to go on a date with him and meet him soon again didn't mean I had 'decided on him' yet. I had other guys I would be meeting up with until I found someone I wanted to get to know better. Then other guys have no sense of loyalty. You will need to ask them up front if they are looking to date just one girl, date around several at once, or whether they are just looking for friends with benefits and no commitments. If a guy under consideration has ever lied to you or you've witnessed him lying to others, then you can not trust his word. You'd be playing russian roulette to give him a chance. If he has proven to be consistant in being a man of his word, then depending on his answer, give him a chance. If you are encountering guys who only look at and consider girls who look like the media
s false portrayal of what a beauty is, then you are hanging with the wrong guys. While all heterosexual men will be sexually attracted to females, not all have the exact same tastes. I can think of young men right now that I know have said they are not interested in glamour models, to them it's all false. They want a real female, who had natural beauty, doesnt have to rely on make up, hair styling or coloring or perms, fake nails, dieting and fancy clothes. Guys like glitter, So do women. But there are young people who are more realistic and want someone they find attractive and a natural beauty. I am mid fifties, have the wrinkles, skin starting to go crepe paper like and silver in my hair. My husband stills says I look beautiful. I wont compare to what I looked like at 30, my favorite age, but for my age bracket, in comparison, I am a beauty and he tells me he catches many other men looking at me when we are out and about running errand or what not. Hang in there and trust God, or Fate or whatever higher power you believe in, will bring this right person to you. If he isn't quite ready yet or hasn't moved into your area yet to find and meet you, would you be willing to wait a couple years for him? My perfect 2nd husband, I couldn't unfortunately meet when young as we lived on opposite coasts of the country. We both had to go thru many things before meeting in later life. For the one you seek, just be patient, make your list and don't have high expectations in the dating stage of finding instant love. Good luck dear

So I met this girl, she is PERFECT for me, but I'm not sure if I'm perfect for her. She's 15 and I'm 13, so I'm not sure if she wants to be with a 13 year old. She said she likes me but she's not sure yet, so I think I need to be more mature. I'm not sure what to do so some advice from a GIRL would help A LOT. Please answer my question. I need some help fast!!!!! :(

It can look awkward and you both may be prone to teasing from your peers. But in reality, there is nothing wrong with an age difference as long as you both have no problem with it and are at the same maturity level and can connect mentally.

Teen girls want a male who likes their looks, is attracted to her but his main goal for wanting to date her is to become friends first with her rather than just use her to satisfy his strong sexual urges. She wants someone who truly listens, will have good conversation with her, not just surface level stuff, but deep meaningful stuff. Being supportive of her hopes and dreams, encouraging her to try and reach for her goals, whether in school or other, it's kinda the same as a female best friend, but its better if you both discover you have that romantic chemistry and can enjoy hand holding, cuddling and kissing.

The reason for not being sure beyond the initial liking of you, could either be fear of ridiculing or she just doesn't want to lead you on promising to be your girlfriend first before knowing if she's really going to like you beyond surface level stuff. If you are on a talking basis at school, start asking her questions about herself. Find out what her favorite music, bands, movies are. What other hobbies she has, favorite foods, animals, etc... the same stuff you might learn about your male friends. If fear of peer reaction is the biggest issue, ask her if she's willing to try to get okay from her parents for you to come visit and hang out with her when her parents are home. As long as classmates don't live next door to her, theres no one to know that you two are friends seeing each other away from school. And there are a good amount of parents who will be comfortable with a daughter having a male friend (just as long as she doesnt say boyfriend) coming to hang out with her just as female friends do. It won'tbe as favorable to get the permission for her to come visit as your house because they won't know if your parents are truly home or not and at your ages, they remember all too well the sexual draw and young teens not always making the best decisions consistantly. But its worth a try to give her a chance to get to know you better.

Hello...i need sum advise.I get attracted to girls physically.and on the other hand i feel it abnormal.i even get attracted to boys...but not as much as towards girls.I really dont want to be a lesbian.i want to spend my life with a man.But again the attractions towards girls is really making me confused.please help me !!

I have known married women who are married and have kids and love their husbands but still are attracted mostly towards women sexually. As for men, who they have been attracted to was very limited and the few I've known have said, their husband was the only man they ever felt desire for, felt safe with, could be themselves, had support to indulge in their bi-sexuality. I talked to quite a few of the husbands and they were very comfortable with their wives having female lovers. The husbands themselves had no desire for other women or men, just the bi sexual wife.
There are some women who though sexually attracted to women, may not be attracted to the personality...same as any dating hetero couple, and will only fall for one female and thats it. Others will go for multiple partners, the more the merrier. If you are younger and just exploring your sexuality, as long as you're taking care to be safe from disease and pregnancy, then there is no reason to limit your exploring to one sex. I would say to limit only as far as having some feelings for the other person. It's not as special if you have sex with a person, anyone willing will do, for the sake of just experiencing it.
Just so you know, there is nothing wrong with being homosexual, bi-sexual or hetero sexual, trans gender, a-sexual. We aren't all created carbon copies of each other or we'd be robots or clones. We all come in different heights, weights, sizes of breasts and genetalia, and colors of skin, hair, eyes. And we all discover we have preferences. For example, although I was open to exploring with females once upon a time, I did so only out of curiousity... and it was confirmed that I like men only. I have preferences that they be taller than me but not a foot or more taller, I prefer brunette men to blondes or redheads. So don't worry. Just relax. One day you will find exactly what you need and want and the guy will think you're just perfect and be willing to allow you to explore and find your female partners. guys in their 20's may not be settled yet and have a problem with it as they are immature but all the woman whose husbands supported their bi-ness were their 30's or older.
Good luck dear.

Well I did talk to him bout it
And like we dated for 5 months broke up on Sept 6
But ever since we broke up we are friends now
But the thing in really confused about is he's always giving hugs and kiss and always pulls me to sit near him

And our friends be tellin to go back out
He doesn't say anything and they say go back out with her she's ur gf and he be like she ain't my Gf

It makes me feel type of way around him like when he has that I'm not his gf more like ex gf but what type of ex still hugs & kisses their ex ??

Well, now that you told me more, I would have to say that this is confusing.
Perhaps you will have to tell him you don't mind remaining friends but that you have your own set of boundaries that you expect him as 'just as friend' to follow. To you and most all other people, an ex partner does not kiss and hug the same way after a break up. You move to treating each other platonically.

I told my husband your story to get a man's perspective regarding what your guy is doing.
He's said that this guy can't expect the privileges of a dating couple without making the commitment to be your boyfriend. The only exception he said is if both of you are okay with just being sex partners (fuck buddies in his terminology). I have to agree. If you both are okay with the agreement that this is not a love relationship, just for sex then thats fine for him to behave this way. Of course later one or the other will move on once they find the person who wants to be all for them.

So you will just have to spell out for him that you do not want to get that type of behavior from him. Besides being inappropriate, if you wish to say how it makes you feel, that would be proper to do too.
Wishing you the best, that Fate brings you the right guy who will not only value you but love you fully.

So, um, I'm not entirely sure if I'm on the right category because it's about my studies and my family, but I think I'm in the right category. Okay, so I'm supposed to graduate after this semester. But I'm failing on one subject, Internship, which means I won't be going to graduate yet even if I pass all my other subjects. Now, I don't know how or what to tell my parents about it. They'll be furious with me, of course. Especially because I had problems before. I'm actually graduating later than my batchmates, and if I fail this subject, then my graduating will be even more delayed. And that's why I think they'll be furious.

don't know, but I really can't find the motivation to do it, to start on my internship. I can't do it. I spent the entire semester just staying indoors or going out and minding my own writing stuff, as well as my other subjects and just barely keeping up with school. All I know is that I feel like I don't want to continue it. Like I wan to stop. Or at least take some kind of break from it. And just find a job and work and write and just live my life the way I want it. I feel like I don't want to continue school, at least for now, and just go back to school when I'm feeling like it. But... I don't know how to say this to them. I feel as if the reason I didn't have the motivation to comply with my Internship is because I'm tired of school and of feeling pressure. I'm feeling pressured because my older brother stopped going to school and doesn't even find a job, like a black sheep. And because of that I feel like I need to be this really good child who has to have a good educational background and have really nice job and shouldn't disappoint them in any way. Everyday, I feel like I lose track of who I an more and more.

I just don't know how to break to them the whole failing thing and the wanting to take a break from school then just finding a job thing. I'm scared.

You mention previous problems to this, and then the failing in one area now. Then adding that you have an older brother who dropped out of school and is not even working and thus being a burden on them.

I have no idea if this is the case or not, but was it your parents idea for you to go to college, them funding it? If so, this was a bad idea, them wanting their ego and pride saved by pushing you to go to college when you had no desire to go or wasn't ready yet. This reminds me of the familys where Dad or Mom or both were Lawyers, Doctors or Police officers and so where their parents and now they expect their children to carry on the tradition and pressure them to not stray from their expectations and follow their own heart.

If this is your case, you're an adult now, it is time to follow your own heart and dreams, and not be an extension of theirs. If you were pressured into college and succumbed to their pressure, of course they will be Angry by you finally having the will power to quit and speak your own mind, especially after they've invested money into it. It's half their fault, the loss of investment if they pressured you to go. If thats the case, they have no right to fault you and be angry. But not all parents see clearly when it comes to how to be a parent of an adult child and they can make some big mistakes.
If you're funding your own way, they still have no right to tell you what to do. It's your money, your decision, your life.

If it Was your Idea to go to College:

Did you enter college with no idea OR vague idea's of what you wanted to study for?

Do you have a passion for the field you are studying for, are you passionate about it, can't get enough of it, can't stop talking about it, always turning the conversation to the subject matter, find that time flies when you are submersed in studying for it?

If you don't have that passion behind you, you probably haven't come across the thing that you are empassioned about yet and if you haven't come across it yet, you may then not yet have awareness that a particular thing is something that you should pursue in a vocation and of course in training for, whether hands on training or if schooling is needed.

I have a brother in law and his best friend who both went to college and halfway through what they studied for, decided it wasn't something that excited them enough so they switched degrees. Brother did it a third time. His buddy last count I know of was trying the 5th time in his early thirties college for another subject.

Some people just take longer to come to self realization and making those big life changing decisions. You are told & taught 'who and what you are' as a young child by your parents, as an older child by your friends, as a teen by your peers, and out of high school into early 20's by society. It is as teens or the early 20's that some people naturally rebel against that. I am not saying rebel as a negative thing, but an important step for self. It is a time when you begin to have issues with doing what parents, peers or society expects of you. The things may not be bad but they just don't feel like YOU. It's a time when you begin to first shed what the parents think you are or expect you to be, then also the expectations of friends and peers and finally society in general. You are at a point of starting to discover this. At age 28, 29, 30 is the final big choices and turnings you take to becoming who you know you are at core. Being true to yourself and living the life expressing who you are will be the most happy one you can live.
Know that you must follow your heart. Explain calmly to the parents that this is what you are trying to do. You don't mean to disrepect their idea's of what is best for you, but their time of parenting style of telling you what to do is over, now as their adult child, you can tell them you will ask for their thoughts and ideas and use them as a sounding board but that your decisions are ultimately going to be yours from now on, whether right, or wrong in the end, they are yours to make and learn from. They can't argue with that if they are reasonable mature adults. Give them time to get over their disappointment. But you will be happier following your own dream, not theirs.

I feel scared to ask my parents for a snapchat facebook Kris even an instagram because of how over protective they are what should I do

I have never used Snapchat or Instagram, those being newer than Facebook, the only social online venue i have used. But from hearing from teens, they have very often not made the best decisions in what they have posted in photos or comments and got into trouble where peers bullied and teased and taunted them and broadcast what should have been private to the whole school which was traumatizing and made their life miserable, especially at a time when young people are wanting so badly to be liked for themselves and accepted by others and worried about how they come across to others.
As a parent myself, I can understand their concern. However, if you are not given some allowance, leeway within to learn how to make the best decisions as you are working your way towards adult hood as a older child or teen, you may end up not prepared to be on your own one day and make good decisions of your own. Those two programs weren't around when my girls started using the computer. They all started first with getting their own emails and then moving on to using facebook. I would come by several times to overlook what they were doing on their computer and ask them to show me what they had been doing. Therefore I knew when my oldest at 13 had a crush on a 12 yr old boy she met online. She would show me what he wrote to her and then show me what she had written up to send back to him including what pics she wanted to send. It may seem a bit invasive to you but my girls knew I just wanted to see that they could consistantly for a couple years make good decisions as to what they did and posted, because I loved them and this was a good balance to giving them some freedom to begin using the computer for social purposes while at the same time I monitored what they were doing so that I felt comfortable knowing that for the most part they were being guided by me and therefore mostly protected. You might discuss something like this with the parents, their having access to check your accounts anytime they want to for a specified amount of time.
If you can show them when they are not monitoring your internet social sites, that you will on your own come to Mom or Dad and mention what a girl or guy said to you and ask them what they think about it and how you should respond...especially if it has to do with a guy asking you to do something like sexting, or even friends inviting you to parties, to smoke or drink, skip school, whatever it is that you darn well know better about if your parents have been teaching you right. It is hard to refrain from responding if someone dis'es you or is prompting you to stretch beyond the rules or boundaries. If you can gain your parents trust by using them as a sounding board and going to them with things that you feel that uncomfortable nervous feeling in your stomach about, where your conscience is not feeling good about, you will find your parents learn to gain trust in you from your consistantly doing well and not messing up on the internet.

Try having that talk. If the moment you bring it up they shut you out and say no before listening to you, then write them a letter. I was guilty of reacting before listening fully, but seldom...I learned quickly to treat my kids as individuals with every right to be heard out as me. I wish you the best.

Well basically I'm used to being in a home with two other people. (My mom and brother) And my husband has a huge family and I keep to myself a lot. And its brought to my intention several times daily by him and his family. And they( since we have no transportation and we give them gas money every time we leave for Dr. And food) said if I don't get out more they won't take me. It hurt my feelings because I love his family. And it feels like he has got them to gang on me. I mean how do they know when I leave and don't when their miles away? I get it its not good to isolate me but with my depression,digestive issues, asthma, etc. It looks like I'm constantly making excuses. Which I really don't. I eat like twice a day a and drink tons of water because my stomach hurts so bad like my stomach is going to explode from pressure.( Not being gross but i don't "GO" for 8 to 10 days.) And when I do I take laxatives and its a all day and night thing. Plus I can't eat dairy spicy foods greasy or acidic. Because of my gall bladder. And yesterday my husband yells "Do something with your lazy ass!" And it upset me. Any advice for me or even tips to help motivate me and push past all the pain to do it? I NEED IT!!!!!!

If what the regular Medical doctors have prescribed isn't helping you with your medical issues, I would seriously look into some Natural help methods without of course stopping to take any prescriptions you may be taking. That would not be a smart move and can make you feel worse, but I am talking of simple things you can do that may just help your body start being a bit more healthy. A lot can be changed for the better by diet.
I have read that our bodys can become over loaded with toxins in which case our bodies begin to develop allergies to many things that we wouldn't under total full health circumstances. Things like having problem with dairy or even hayfever can have dairy as a culprit. Too much fat, sugar and salt in our diets can do so also.

I am going after the "Lets get your health stabilized" angle which I feel is important to have under control Before you can even feel comfortable leaving home.
I am no Doctor but depending on exactly where your pains are coming from, it may be stomach, or gall bladder or both. Have you been checked out for gall stones? I had them. Found a way to naturally get rid of them, an old country doctor way to soften them so they can be expelled through that small duct that usually causes pain if there is trouble with them passing. It worked for years until the stress in a bad marriage somehow affected my bodys ability to respond the final time I tried the natural method and got a big stone stuck, went to emergency and had gall bladder removed.
As for stomach pains, have you been checked out for stomach ulcers, I had that once. It's painful but the doctor prescribed medicine got rid of it. I have come across people whose bodies are more prone to one type of medical malady than others. Some are more prone to get and produce lots of gall stones. Some have a tendency to producing to much of the bad flora in the stomach, the kind of natural acids in there that should be breaking up and dissolving the food is not able to because there isn't a balance of the good, not much bad flora killing off the needed good ones. About March this year, I began to have some pains in my upper stomach. It didn't feel like ulcers, it was something new. The thought came to mind that I needed to eat lots of yogurt, you know those ads on TV about probiotics being good for you and how this one particular yogurt brand is a good thing for womens health as you get older? I want you to read for yourself what Kefir can do for you. Here is a link about the differences between yogurts and Kefir.

http://www.culturesforhealth.com/difference-between-yogurt-kefir

the probiotics work on bringing balance again where there is an overabundance of yeast and bad bacteria in the stomach.
As for my yogurt binge, I found that it took care of the pain, it went away but everything was still out of balance in my stomach. It wasn't until a month ago when hubby and I began to visit international grocery stores where we found Kefir yogurt drinks,(Mexican and Russian groceries) Kefir,with the most live probiotics ever. I had some every day and now am taking a little break because the Kefir yogurt was working on getting rid of stuff in my stomach and intestines that was out of balance. It's gross as a subject but the symptoms as I took it were the same as having too much caffeine for me, I got the runs but I also got a tremendous amount of gas too, this is the process of toxins being flushed from my body. It didn't matter what I ate, if I had some Kefir, it fought to change the balance in me, killing the yeast and bad bacteria. My husband has had the same problem before. Both of us are finding we are having less problems already with bowel movements. It's not an allergy to dairy because we are eating other dairy products like cheese and milk and having no reaction like with Kefir, it's a process of getting some balance back in your health. You might try checking out a Naturopathic doctor and get him up to date as to what medications your other doctor has you taking and what other things have been tried. Natural health because of it's very nature is in most cases not going to interfere or cause bad reactions and side effects due to medications you currently take. I can't stress this enough for you to take a personal interest in your own health, researching for your self what other options there are. Medical doctors have great knowledge but are limited in that they are trained only in pharmacuetical cures and surgery cures. I am grateful for their knowledge when it comes to the surgical stuff, naturopathic can't help there. But they have no training in alternative health means of bringing the whole body back into balance.
Natural health doctors are trained in the same medical knowledge, classes, courses that regular doctors have to pass and then on top of that continue on for training on natural health too. And they take into consideration not just what ails you physically, but your mental, emotional health because that can have an effect on your physical health as well.

I will say that your husband doesnt sound supportive and his family doesnt either. That in itself is going to make your fight for regaining health hard and may be contributing to where you are at. If I had that daily onslaught, I would be suffering mentally too and likely depressed as you. I can relate in some ways. I married at 20 and the man turned out to be verbally abusive. It took its toll on me physically--stress has to go somewhere and it Will affect ones health. I was able to stay emotionally healthy tho due to my strong Christian faith and got my encouragements, support, and building up, from God when it was lacking from husband. I would venture to guess that it could be their frustration over you being so sick all the time, being naive to not understanding total health fully and not realizing that being critical with you is not going to help but actually make things worse. Ask for their understanding and let them know you want to get better but without understanding and stopping the verbal onslaught, you are being stressed and stress adds to your physical problems, doesnt improve them.
Part of taking your health into your own hands is going to require some drastic measures. If hubby and his family won't lay off with their pestering and start to help you look for other ways to regain your health, nothing will improve for you.
If your Mom and brother are more supportive and you are ready to try anything to get your body back into balance, then you may have to rely on Mom or brother or an Aunt or cousin to go stay with for a while where you can have peace, see what health care you can get and if it covers Naturopathic doctors too. If not, you are going to have to be working, earning your own money to be able to afford taking a bus, calling the small international groceries in your area and purchasing Kefir. Start eating more foods that provide roughage, eat more fresh foods, that would be fruit and vegetables in their raw form. Begin taking vitamin and mineral supplements and see if you start feeling better.
You will need to use laxatives for a while, while trying to get your body back to working well on its own. But once you begin to see some results for the better, please don't rely on laxatives and anti diarrhea medicines because they can mess our bodies up even worse if taken all the time so our bodies forget how to do these natural functions on their own. I learned about that after reading many books on menopause and getting older from the Natural perspective. Bowel issues are one of the symptoms that come with Menopause that is very seldom mentioned and other methods were given to offset the symptoms of lack of bowel movement or the runs and going back and forth between them. I know you aren't that age, but if those medications used long term arent good for older people, then its also not good for younger ones.
I truly want to be encouragement and more help to you. This answer is long enough. If you feel the need to talk to me more, please contact me again. I can also give you some advise about things you can do to try to relieve the stress you currently carry which causes the depressions and what will help with your depression if it's mainly caused by your medical conditions and the negative interactions with husband and his family. Good Luck dear and may your angels keep watch over you.

My fiancé and I are planning on moving in together so, that's plan A. My grandparents say that I need a backup plan in case things don't work out, like if we break up, where would I go? What should I/we do.

Fiance means that eventually you will be married and living together anyways. I suppose its better to find out if there are things about him that you can not live with, things you discover in the living together stage, 24/7 of being in each others life that you don't get with dating.
I don't know how much you've been in each others lives already, if its enough to really know each other, what you both are as a person at core, how you act when happy, sad, mad, stressed, sick, etc... and whether it is reasonable or unreasonable, how one keeps house, what ones priorities are, how one handles finances, etc... So much to learn and these things can cause problems in a marriage. Sometimes, when one is sure they've found the one to marry, the best step is living together before becoming officially engaged.
Where ever you are living currently, hopefully if a family member or friend, is some where you can move back to temporarily if things don't work out.

I will say that a problem with getting a long term lease on an apt. in both names means both are responsible and if one moves out and the other can't handle the rent and has to leave also, you're ending a rental contract early and there will be fines and the rest of rent that they will lose, expected in a lump payment. Had that happen to me. Lost the other person, couldn't find a replacement and had to break the contract and couldnt pay so that went as a black mark on my record. It is best if one of you only has their name for now on the rental contract and the other would move out if things don't work. There must be friends or friend willing to help you out in case you end up needing to leave him and find a place to land.
I would caution you tho not to dwell to heavily on imagining and worrying about this event happening, because our subconscious minds have an uncanny ability to sense the things your thoughts dwell on most and assume it is always something you wish to see come true and wanting you to have what you think of most, or wish for, it will manuever you into behaving in such ways or doing things that actually jeorpardize the relationship and damage it and bring about the splitting up.
So dont go into this expecting trouble or looking for it. Good luck!

Hi! I am 13 and my boobs are saggy, my bra size is 36B can a plastic surgeon do it or am I too young? How much would it cost

You are facing an issue that lots of other people face for entirely different reasons. Doctors will not do anything that involves any kind of augmenting, plastic surgery or sex change surgeries and treatments.
The teens who are transgender, feel they are living in the wrong body and want to be the other sex, have complained too about not being able to get any doctor to do the changes for them until they are done growing. That makes it awkward going through puberty for them, and for whatever reasons you have, self image or what, I am sure you feel awkward too.
The best you can do is tell mom cus the parents would have to be paying for it, make an appointment to see the family doctor and get a referral to a specialist who can then discuss a plan, the cost, and a good guess at what age they would be able to do any breast lift if you still want it then, and liposuction or whatever else. If you are not happy with your total appearance including weight, ask Dr. about what changes you can do in diet, what kinds of exercise may help some for now. I don't personally think that Dr intervention or surgery should be ones first choice. In fact most doctors with the AMA, Amer. Medical Asso. are quite conservative and will try other things first before doing surgery.

Just for the heck of it, I will include a link of what is considered the wide range of natural looking breasts and nipples. It is done by women for females so that we can know that we are not abnormal and that what we have on top is okay. Here is the link:
http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php

Okay so stay with me here I know it may seem odd but just listen. Today in my math class my teacher was giving a class lecture and I literally couldn't stay awake I had to fight to stay awake. His monotone put me to sleep. When I got home I told that to my grandma and she suggested I look up techniques to use to stay awake when someone who has a monotone voice is talking. I didn't find anything but there was this video on YouTube about self hypnosis and they used a monotone voice. Being intrigued I clicked on it and started to listen to it and my grandma just watched over me I guess, but I wasn't doing it to hypnotize myself I just wanted to see if I could stay awake but the video was creepy and I ended it 4 mins into it(it was 10mins long) so after I felt dizzy because they had us look at those Spinny spiral things and played this music so I felt so dizzy I had to get up and walk around. Which then led to me remembering a couple of years ago, I was younger and I tried this thing I'm about to tell you twice. The first time I sat on the counter in the bathroom and just stared into my eyes for a period of time but once I started to sway from side to side and my face just pulled into a weird smile I stopped because it freaked me out. The second time was when I wanted to try it one last time but this time with someone watching me. I had my younger sister just watch the process and she witnessed the swaying and the smile that crept onto my face and she literally got so spooked she told me to stop. I've never done it again and I went ever again because it gave me a creepy and not so good feeling. So my question is has anyone else tried it ? Does anyone have any comments or advice to it because its quite interesting honestly and I'm curious to why it happened and etc... oh ! And any suggestions on how to stay awake in his class ???

Best not to play around with self hypnosis. You never know what you may be opening yourself up to.
Watching the spiral things was one method of attempting to get you to a state of hypnotism.

Hypnotism is a technique of getting past your conscious mind and dealing with your subconscious mind. In meditation people are trained to learn how to stop the 'internal dialogue' the yak yak of all your thoughts going non stop. It takes lots of energy. You have only so much personal energy, with non left for your subconscious mind to have personal break through with something you're working on, in your case--falling asleep during a boring speech.
Everyone has a subconscious mind and with that subconscious mind, I have discovered there pretty much comes a total separate personality, almost like another person inside me. Some call it, our inner child, it handles all the stuff you don't have to think about doing like taking your next breath or blinking your eyes, it also handles your dream state and all feelings and emotions are stored in the best conscious. When I met my 2nd husband he began to ask me how well I knew my subconscious self. I had talked to myself all my life long, asking questions sometimes with the answer popping into my head. I believe it was my sub I was talking to. The problem comes when due to a bad habit, or a terrible or scary experience, our sub feels it needs to protect us or give us what we want. Its like the sub mind loves you so much it wants to give you things your conscious self wants even if its bad for you, or becomes overprotective and not allowing you to move on in life because of fears of the past. I hope this explains a bit. It really is like having two of me inside. Hubby gave a name to his sub identity as He read somewhere was a good step towards building a friendship and understanding between both your minds. When asked what the name of mine was, I got halfway through saying "i DON'T have a clue" when in an indignant tone i heard a name spoken in my mind. So believe me, the subconscious self is very real. You want it to be working together with you on same goals. Unfortunately, many people have their two minds at war with each other and live miserable lives full of disappointments and bad decisions because of it.
WHY I explain this is that I believe that focusing on your eyes or staring at yourself in a mirror was a way to put you into enough of a meditative state for your sub personality to come through and all she did was force you to smile without you giving conscious thought to doing so. I am no expert, it may not be the case, but this is what i Believe from my experiences and what I've read.
I have stared into a mirror too quite often for the purpose of learning how to see your own aura. It takes lots of time and training and a refocusing of your eyes. I never saw myself do a smile I hadn't planned. As for the swaying, I will sway when I am concentrating on doing an energy healing for someone, or just helping boost their energy level, like the Reiki practice although I dont use their symbols anymore. As the energy flows from my hands to the other person, I will often find myself swaying. I think its because i have my eyes closed and I am focused not on my yak yak thoughts but just on sending healing energy and that is enough for me to feel things I wouldn't otherwise.

I don't have any great hints for staying awake. I just know we tend to feel sleepier soon after eating or when we are too warm. So if the class is right after breakfast or lunch, try having a lighter meal? Dress in layers so you can take a layer off so instead of warm, you're just barely comfortable to feeling cool. That might help.

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