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am I a lesbian or a bi or hetero?
Hello...i need sum advise.I get attracted to girls physically.and on the other hand i feel it abnormal.i even get attracted to boys...but not as much as towards girls.I really dont want to be a lesbian.i want to spend my life with a man.But again the attractions towards girls is really making me confused.please help me !!
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I started having those same feelings when I was about 13. I'm now 22. The problem is that society tells us that we have to put a label on our sexuality. When I realized I was sexually attracted to girls, I thought, "Am I a lesbian?" But I knew I couldn't be, because I still yearned for romantic relationships with boys. However, I knew I definitely wasn't straight because I thought about girls in a sexual way.
I am currently dating a man. A year ago, I was dating a woman. If I HAD to put a label on it, I'd say I was bisexual. But my sexuality is my business, and I don't have to label it and neither do you. You like whoever you like, and you shouldn't have to feel confused about it. If you want to be with a boy, be with one. If you want to be with a girl, that's fine too. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about having these feelings.
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Since you didn't give your age and by the nature of your question; which is the type we get from many teenagers. I am going to assume you are a young female in her early teen just startling to explore her sexuality.
First thing you need to know is you are not a lesbian. If you were a lesbian you would have been born that way and would have had lesbian feelings long before puberty hit. This is something doctors and scientists have come to understand about homosexuality. Homosexuality is as they believe something that happens at conception and is in the DNA string. As for being Bi they are not sure on that. The thinking there is that this is a learned experience.
In the early years of puberty both girls and boys have a tendency to learn about their sexuality by experimenting with their same sex. They do so because it is both safer and easier to do so with someone of the same sex. Parents have a tendency to trust two teenagers of the same sex in a room alone together with the door closed or to sleep together on a sleepover.
What happens at these times when you experiment with your sexuality or learn about your sexuality can be as simple as just looking at the other person's body to touching or masturbating one another. As a parent I will tell you there is truly nothing wrong with this though most parents would literally climb a wall if they walked in on you fingering each other. Fact is they probably did so at your age.
From the limited amount you have written; my advice to you is to relax you're normal. Don't be in a hurry to put a label on your sexuality. You have plenty of time to do so when you finish your education.
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I have known married women who are married and have kids and love their husbands but still are attracted mostly towards women sexually. As for men, who they have been attracted to was very limited and the few I've known have said, their husband was the only man they ever felt desire for, felt safe with, could be themselves, had support to indulge in their bi-sexuality. I talked to quite a few of the husbands and they were very comfortable with their wives having female lovers. The husbands themselves had no desire for other women or men, just the bi sexual wife.
There are some women who though sexually attracted to women, may not be attracted to the personality...same as any dating hetero couple, and will only fall for one female and thats it. Others will go for multiple partners, the more the merrier. If you are younger and just exploring your sexuality, as long as you're taking care to be safe from disease and pregnancy, then there is no reason to limit your exploring to one sex. I would say to limit only as far as having some feelings for the other person. It's not as special if you have sex with a person, anyone willing will do, for the sake of just experiencing it.
Just so you know, there is nothing wrong with being homosexual, bi-sexual or hetero sexual, trans gender, a-sexual. We aren't all created carbon copies of each other or we'd be robots or clones. We all come in different heights, weights, sizes of breasts and genetalia, and colors of skin, hair, eyes. And we all discover we have preferences. For example, although I was open to exploring with females once upon a time, I did so only out of curiousity... and it was confirmed that I like men only. I have preferences that they be taller than me but not a foot or more taller, I prefer brunette men to blondes or redheads. So don't worry. Just relax. One day you will find exactly what you need and want and the guy will think you're just perfect and be willing to allow you to explore and find your female partners. guys in their 20's may not be settled yet and have a problem with it as they are immature but all the woman whose husbands supported their bi-ness were their 30's or older.
Good luck dear.
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