Member Since: August 11, 2009
Answers: 19
Last Update: October 1, 2014
Visitors: 1987
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Hello...i need sum advise.I get attracted to girls physically.and on the other hand i feel it abnormal.i even get attracted to boys...but not as much as towards girls.I really dont want to be a lesbian.i want to spend my life with a man.But again the attractions towards girls is really making me confused.please help me !! (link)
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I started having those same feelings when I was about 13. I'm now 22. The problem is that society tells us that we have to put a label on our sexuality. When I realized I was sexually attracted to girls, I thought, "Am I a lesbian?" But I knew I couldn't be, because I still yearned for romantic relationships with boys. However, I knew I definitely wasn't straight because I thought about girls in a sexual way.
I am currently dating a man. A year ago, I was dating a woman. If I HAD to put a label on it, I'd say I was bisexual. But my sexuality is my business, and I don't have to label it and neither do you. You like whoever you like, and you shouldn't have to feel confused about it. If you want to be with a boy, be with one. If you want to be with a girl, that's fine too. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about having these feelings.
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How can I kill myself without pain (link)
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A few years ago, I wanted to know the answer to this same question. I was miserable and no one understood. It was hard for me to even get up in the morning without completely hating myself. I felt hopeless and just wanted a way out. I knew it was selfish and I knew I'd upset my family but I couldn't bear the pain of living anymore.
Luckily, my mom could tell that I wasn't myself. She made me start seeing a therapist. At first, I was embarrassed and felt like I should be ashamed. I didn't understand that depression is a disease, but that's because it doesn't always show physical symptoms. After seeing a therapist, I started to feel a little better each day. It helped to talk to someone who didn't even know me.
I'll never forget the day I woke up and everything seemed OKAY. It had been so long since I felt just FINE, and I literally just woke up one morning and life didn't suck all the energy out of me. I remember thinking, "Wow, this is awesome. I'm not even happy, but I'm not SAD." That may not seem like an uplifting story, but I want to be very honest with you. It took some time for me to be HAPPY again. But I am, now.
I'm so glad I didn't take my life when I really wanted to. Please, do whatever you have to do to stick it out. I PROMISE it can get better. Don't be afraid to get help. There are more people who care about you than you think.
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M/15
If the fallowing offends you I dont care.
About a year ago I came out to my parents that I was an Atheist. Well they are young earth creationists(which means they take everything in the bible literaly.) so they did not take to kindly to it. They made fun of me for not beliveing in there god and the fact that they are so positive that I'll regret it when I find out I'll be wrong. Well I shook it off I'm very strong with my belifs and at another time after I let things cool down I asked them if it was necisary that I go to church. The gave me no other reasoning other than yes because thats what our family dose. So ive put up with it for along time and I don't think I can any more. All I do at their church is sit there and stare off into space. Its truly a waste of time for me. I know the religion is not for me ive read the whole bible 4 times. More than most believers and I cannot stand for what they belive in. Dose any one know any reason
that my parents would be like this and only give me such a bland reason for making me go? (link)
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I understand your frustration. I am an atheist as well, but I grew up with grandparents who believe the same thing your family does. To this day, my family doesn't know my beliefs because I never told them- I knew they would never accept them. I commend you for being honest, but I'll tell you why I am picky about who I discuss that part of my life with: most religious people depend on their religion. It is everything to them. So when someone critiques it (and rightfully steps on a few toes) they get defensive. Nothing you do or say will make them see what YOU KNOW to be the truth until they have opened their minds... Which will probably be never. So since you're a minor, you still have to do what they want as long as it's within legal limits.
I don't know your family obviously, but they may insist on you going to church because their beliefs have taught them to worry about non-believers. They might honestly think they are doing a service to god by dragging you along.
Either way, since you're still a minor, they probably take whatever you say worth a grain of salt and are going to continue on making you attend church. Which totally sucks, I know, but unless you want to cause a huge uproar or possibly damage relationships with family members, you should do what they want you to and then as soon as you're on your own, you're free to do as you please.
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Okay, so I'm male, 5'7, 105-110 lbs, 14 years old, and my grandma just will not stop talking about it. This morning I was getting food and she started making more food and saying I had to eat it all, and I said I wasn't that hungry. She got mad and said I had to eat it because she knew I never ate anything and she threatened to call some fake organization she made up and tell them I'm not eating.
I finally did snap and get really mad. I pounded my fist on the table and yelled, "I DO eat!" She sat there and watched me eat, and when I left she accused me of going to throw it up. WTF? I'm not bulimic.
Now she's ignoring me and saying that she's just the warden. I said "I love you." to her and she just laughed. What do I do? :( (link)
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I'm a 21 year old female and I have always heard comments about my weight. I'm 5'3 and 95 pounds, and I'm pretty sure I've been this size since I was 12. People constantly say things like "eat a cheeseburger once in a while" or something about how bony I am. Here's the thing: your weight does not concern anybody else. If you eat plenty to fill you up and are making fairly good choices when it comes to what you eat, then you are fine. I know that my grandma grew up in a time when being super skinny was NOT what they saw on the cover of a magazine like you do today. She thinks that I try to be thin on purpose so that I can look like a stick-thin super model... When really I just have a fast metabolism. Some people really just don't understand how that works. They don't understand that people can stay thin naturally.
If you want to gain weight to appease her, the only healthy way to do that is through gaining muscle. Plus, fatty terrible foods won't make you gain weight if your body is not designed to do so anyway. I used to eat junk food all the time and never gained a pound. However, I did start gaining weight when I built muscle. I do that by eating a lot of protein and weight lifting. Every morning I make a shake that consists of 2 scoops of chocolate protein powder, a big scoop of peanut butter, a banana, and a drizzle of chocolate syrup blended with ice. Snack on nuts throughout the day. Some other foods with protein are red meat, eggs, and avocados.
In order to resolve the issue with your grandma though, there needs to be a change in her, not you. Only change your body of YOU are unhappy with it. If you're happy, all you can do is explain that to her. Tell her that there are millions of people who have a fast acting metabolism and simply don't gain weight. Tell her that you're comfortable with your body so you'd have no reason to starve yourself or make yourself throw up. Tell her that it would not be healthy for you to make yourself eat more than you can handle and by discussing your weight in a negative manner will only bring about negative self-images.
Sorry for such a long response but I hope I helped!
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Okay, so there is this unbelievable cute guy who works downstairs at my building's welcome center. I saw him when my supervisor was showing me where to get our mail in the building.So ever since then I've been crushing on him from afar. Like I only talk to him when I ask him if I can check the mail, and its so quick that there's like not a chance for me to introduce myself. And like today i went down to get the mail and I was leaving and he walk by and I smiled and he looked away. Am I weirding/freaking him out? Cuz i have check the mail on the days i work, so its my job, but I only work 3 times a week and go down there once on the days I work. So I don't know, what to do? and im getting close to the point of giving up, but i don't want. I just get really nervous when i talk to cute guys ugh, help! (link)
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You have two choices: Say something or don't. If you don't say something, you'll never know what could've been. YOU NEED TO SAY SOMETHING. I can't tell you how many times I have thought a guy thought I was weird or something because when I would look at him, he would look away or never say something to me. But guys can be as shy as girls when it comes to the approach. People have this idea that guys are supposed to say something first but that's not always the case.
A few weeks ago, a new guy started at my workplace. I always caught him staring at me but he would never say anything. Finally, idk what gave me the courage, but I walked right up to him and said "So when are you going to take me out?" We went out the very next night and he told me that guys LOVE when girls make the first move because it's a nice surprise when they don't have to do all the work.
I know rejection sucks but what's the worst that can happen? It's not very likely that he'll be mean. And if he says no, well you won't be off much worse than you are now with NO communication at all. Good luck!
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Hi. My boyfriend has a really hard life, and I'm the reason he's not given up and tries to stay strong. If he loses me, he'll lose everything and I'm pretty certain he will commit suicide. But I'm not happy in the relationship, and I need to break up with him, but I know that he will kill himself if I do. I know people might say it's his problem not mine or something like that, but I still love him and care about him deeply. If he kills himself because of me, I will never be able to live with myself. I'm really afraid. He's not threatening me, he's really nice, but he has an awful life, and I'm the only good thing in his life. He has no one else. I don't know what to do. Please help. (link)
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I can relate to this because I was in a similar situation a few years ago. It would always irritate me when family or friends would tell me it wasn't my problem because I felt like, I love HIM, so his problems ARE my problems. I know it can also be hard to sacrifice your own personal happiness, no matter what the reason. That being said, people who would ACTUALLY kill themselves have a disorder within their brain that is causing them to feel that way. Even if you are the only good thing in his life, if he is in a place where he would literally take his own life, you are not going to be enough to stop him. It is not your fault that he is dependent on you. You have simply been the kind of person that he want/needs, and who can blame you for being a good person?
You have only 2 options:
1. Stay with him. And what does that solve? It reinforces the idea in his head that he HAS to have you, and that is not good for him. In addition, you are suffering as well. How long do you think you can keep him happy if you are not happy? He would feel quite hopeless if he thought he was causing you unhappiness and that situation could make things worse for both of you.
2. Break up with him. That could go better than you expect. If you sit him down and kindly explain to him that while you still care deeply about him, it is causing you to become unhappy. He should understand that. If he doesn't understand, that is not your fault.
I've wasted too much time taking care of other people, and I've learned to look out for myself first sometimes. It doesn't mean you're selfish. You have every reason to worry about his well-being and it may be hard, but can you really see things getting better if you stay with him? Good luck to you.
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ok so i have small boobs. I am 15 years old and will be 16 in may this year.I'm a softmore in high school and I am a B cup. it seems like all the other girls in my grade have big boobs that fill out their shirts but mine are just small i even wear push up bras but that barely helps.:( all guys ever talk about is boobs and I want bigger ones or atrleast decent sized ones to my body is proportional. I have a nice butt alot of guys say but i have never once ever heard a guy tell me i have nice boobs. Its frusterating, what can I do to help this situation? (link)
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Hello,
I am 19 years old and I'm an A cup. So consider that you're about 4 years younger than me and have bigger boobs. In fact, a B cup is NORMAL. I'm happy with my size of my chest and I'll tell you why you should be too:
When I was in high school, I felt the same way as you do now. High school boys can be mean and perverted, a combination that tends to make girls feel bad about themselves, for whatever reason. Boys would tease me and it made me feel like having small boobs was a dysfunction of some sort. Like my body didn't fully develope. But it took me time to realize that was how MY body was SUPPOSED to develope. Some girls have the misfortune of triple D cup sizes or bigger.
Now I'm in college. And guess what: GUYS DON'T CARE. Of course, there are the few guys who have huge attractions to larger breasts. The same way you might be attracted to brown hair or I'd be attracted to green eyes. We all have different traits. And since you're only 15, you won't be fully developed for quite a while, meaning IF you were serious enough to get implants, most doctors wouldn't even operate on you until you're at least in your early twenties. That being said, you should learn to love your body the way it is.
I know that might not be what you want to hear. But if a guy cares SO MUCH about boobs that it determines his interest in a girl, doesn't that make him a little pathetic? Besides, guys just want things to pick at. If you had big boobs, they'd make fun of your hair or clothes or teeth. It can be frustrating when clothes don't fit the way they should, but if you don't love yourself now, you could be damaging your self-confidence... which is something that is attractive to everybody.
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I am not sure if this is the right category. But a spider bite me. Its like my meat around it is dead it made a small circle witch is now black. It is very sore. And we are too broke to go to the dr. Any home tips. We cleaned it whit Poroxside. And we clean it every night. HELP PLZ 13/f (link)
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The very same thing happened to my boyfriend. He never went to the doctor and the pain became so unbearable that he had no choice. And because he waited, the doctors had to perform a surgery to go in and cut the infection out. Once he was done with surgery, they told him they had found something called Gangrene. It had basically eaten his skin and rotted it. They said that if they had known how bad it was BEFORE they went into surgery, they would've just amputated his whole leg. I am telling you this because I don't want this to happen to you, and the doctors still have to treat you regardless of if you can afford it. Your health is more important. DO NOT think that this will just go away. My boyfriend is a 20 year old man and it was painful for him.. I'm sure for a 13 year old girl it will be much worse. Go get help. Please.
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so im not skinny but i'm kinda chubby and i bought a pair of pants today and they didnt fit when i tried to put them on. So im thinking about becoming anorexic to lose weight. i just dont know what to do. (link)
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I know that Anorexia seems like a quick fix, but it is truly an illness. I was diagnosed with Anorexia three years ago. Looking back, I wasn't even fat. I just THOUGHT I was since I wasn't as skinny as the other girls my age. It started as just eating less at dinner and skipping breakfast, and then pretty soon I was skipping meals all together. I would go weeks at a time where all I ate during the day was a stick of celery. I didn't realize how skinny I was getting because all I cared about was losing weight and being pretty. When I look back on pictures, I looked DISGUSTING, because I looked like a skeleton. I tried to stop but I physically couldn't, my body rejected food. I was hospitalized after I had dropped to 80 lbs. That is why I am so adamant about keeping girls from harmful "dieting". They don't realize that you can't just skip food. In order to look good, you have to have nourishment from food. Lack of food will make you weak and IT WILL SHOW. Try eating healthier but regularly, and maybe excersing. Hope I could help and good luck.
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I asked this question a long time ago on this website, but the answer I got was wrong.
When I was about eight or nine I was watching a movie on TV, I think it was Lifetime but I'm not sure.
I can only remember one scene and a few sparse details about the main character.
Anyway, in this scene the girl was sort of trapped in her basement with a bunch of guys around. (I remember maybe 20?) She was on a table and they were possibly raping her with a baseball bat. (I say possibly because I don't know if it actually enterered her or they were just 'teasing' her.)
I'm almost positive they were all teenagers. I think the girl was mentally disabled. And I believe she liked to draw.
Also, a part of me wants to say her mom and a family friend were upstairs chatting while this was going on in the basement, but I'm not sure.
Any suggestions are great. I don't know why, but this has been bugging me for years. The need to know what's going on and the movie plot are overwelming.
**The last time I asked this question, somebody suggested the movie A Girl Like Me. It is NOT that movie.** (link)
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The movie is called Our Guys. It's named that because it was about a group of guys on a football team that raped the mentally handicapped woman.
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I am 20/f he's 26/m. This guy really likes me and we've been on two dates. I mean he came all the way from the other side of town to see me. See i can't date really, i know that sounds ridiculous but i can't tell my parents so i have to meet him in secrecy. Well anyways he wants to make it work from what he's told me. And well it's not really the whole my parents finding out, it's more i wanted a boyfriend for so long, and i was really boy crazy, but now i am just not sure i want that right now. I want to just want to focus on myself. He gave me an ultimatum saying i should just tell my parents, lie to them, because he really wants to make it work, and i am just not sure. So what should i do? (link)
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I know it sounds cheesey, but listen to your heart. Because at the end of the day, you should do what makes YOU happy. Although, I think if you truly wanted to be with him, you wouldn't question it. And the fact is, you ARE 20 years old. He's not going to be the only guy you're interested in. If you decided to be with him, you'd have to hide it, and I don't see how anything could work that way. But if you want to be with him, you should just tell your parents. You are old enough to decide who should or shouldn't be in your life. Hope I could help!
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I'm only a 14yo girl and I have started mastorbating more and more latly. It feels so good but for some reson I feel really bad when it's over. Even though I feel bad about it I can't stop. Is this normal? Should I stop? (link)
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That is completely normal. I don't quite understand why you feel bad about it though. Do you just feel guilty? I know that I used to be embarrassed that I did it because I thought it was a sin, and that it was a horrible thing to do. Yes, masturbating is something that a lot of people pretend is gross, but everyone has done it or will do it at least once. I know some people who do it all the time. Please don't feel bad for doing it. It's very normal, and if you want to do it, then do it.
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Ok so i've only gotten my hair colored once and it was a few years ago and it was lighter highlights. I want to dye my hair darker but there are a few things I'm unsure about.
1) I know getting it done lighter is really bad for your hair but I heard that getting it done darker isnt as bad. Is that true? Whats the healthiest way to get your hair darker? because i think theres a few different things they can do.. maybe?
2) Will salons do temporary dye? I don't trust myself enough to do it myself, I want it done by a professional. But I don't want to be committed to re-dying it ever. I just want to change it up a little for summer to see how I like it. If I can get it done temporarily how long will it last?
and 3) Is it a bad idea to get it dyed for summer? I'll be outside a lot and in the water some. I don't want it to fade too much because then there wouldnt have been any point in dying it. Is there anything I should do to it to keep it from fading?
I know that was a lot of questions so thanks for listening. And any input you can give is appreciated even if you can't answer all of the questions. (link)
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Fading is inevitable. But I know that from my personal experience (and I have medium brown hair) that the dye lasts up to about 3-4 weeks before it starts fading. Dark dye is actually GOOD for your hair, if you get it done professionally. None of the at-home dyes are healthy. But darker dye actaully provides nutrients. The reason highlights are bad is because it strips away pigment, where as dark dye gives you pigment. Hope I could help!
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hey i was just wondering how can u tell for sure that you are ready for sex? (link)
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It depends on the person. A lot of people say that you shouldn't have sex if you aren't responsible enough to take care of a child. Which is true, because having a baby is a HUGE responsibility. But the fact of the matter is that when someone wants to have sex, they will. There is not a "for sure" way of knowing if you're ready. My advice is that you should only have sex if YOU want to do it, and feel comfortable with your partner. Having sex is only YOUR decision. With some people, it leads to attachment issues with their first person to have that kind of relationship with, so it would be in your best interest to be with someone who treats you right. Hope I helped!
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What are the chances of getting pregnant if a condom and birth control are both used properly while having sex? I'm not talking about perfect use, but typical use. I already know the chances are slim, but for those who know the typical use statistics, could you please give me an idea of what kind of chance I am taking? (link)
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If you want statistics, condoms are actually only 75% effective, and birth control is 99% effective. The chances of you getting pregnant while using BOTH are very, VERY slim. Although, no matter the circumstances, there is always a risk. Hope I helped!
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m / 14
This really isn't about getting advice. It's just some things i've wondered about girls.
1) Why do girls always go to the bathroom in groups? What do you guys do in there besides pee?
2)why are girls embarrassed to be seen in their bra and panties but not in a bikini.
3) Do girls notice when guys get boners?
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1. Girls go into the bathroom in groups to talk to each other. It's privacy. It's time to talk about "girl things" that they probably wouldn't say in a crowd. It's nothing dirty like guys tend to think it is.
2. Personally, I'm not embarrassed because most bras and panties cover MORE than a bikini. Lol I guess most people are embarrassed because it's not socially acceptable.
3. Yes. If we happen to look in that direction, then we definitely know what's going on.
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do they put your brackets on with cedmint?(my brother told me that) (link)
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Yes. I had braces for two years. And it is called cement, but it's not like brick cement. It is made specifically for braces, only so that the bracket will stay on.
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Dramatic, I know I'm there, though. One more moment of being in this life may be the final straw. I really want to end this before anyone gets hurt, or I waste anyone Else's time. I'm quite literally, a waste of space and would truly love to allow the world some more psychic energy to do something good with, rather than continuing to sit here and waste valuable resources.
I know that it is considered by many to be selfish, but I truly believe this case is an acception to that rule.
(link)
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I've been in your exact position before. It's hard for people to understand who haven't been through it. But I'm telling you, no matter how much you doubt this, you CAN get better. I can't stress that enough. I've been in such low points, I couldn't imagine any better solution than to die. There are so many options: you can see a therapist, they will evaluate you, and perhaps give you medication. It was nice to have someone to tell everything to, and they deal with so many people, that they can make you realize things that may change your outlook on a lot of things. I don't know what your religion is, but I know that praying got me through a lot of it. Or help others. If you start helping others, it could make you feel better about yourself. Always remember, there is someone worse off than you. Your job is to overcome things that knock you down. Just don't make any huge decisions yet. You may feel completely different in a year.
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Hi i need serious help!. I like this guy but i don't know how to tell him. He's so hot and sweet i don't know what to do i like so shy and kinda average for my looks. sometimes i feel ugly than others i feel beautiful what do i do (link)
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The best thing to do, is first of all be confident with yourself. Most people never see how beautiful they really are. If you're confident with yourself, and tell yourself that you have the looks and personality to get anybody you want, others will probably see it that way too. If you aren't already friends with this guy, then that is a good first step. Guys usually get freaked out if a girl tries to move too fast. Just be nice, but don't bug him. Don't talk to him EVERY time you see him. Make him feel like you don't NEED to talk to him. That will make him even more interested! But honestly, confidence and a sweet personality will get you the furthest. Hope this helps!
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