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i am scared to be with him
I am 20/f he's 26/m. This guy really likes me and we've been on two dates. I mean he came all the way from the other side of town to see me. See i can't date really, i know that sounds ridiculous but i can't tell my parents so i have to meet him in secrecy. Well anyways he wants to make it work from what he's told me. And well it's not really the whole my parents finding out, it's more i wanted a boyfriend for so long, and i was really boy crazy, but now i am just not sure i want that right now. I want to just want to focus on myself. He gave me an ultimatum saying i should just tell my parents, lie to them, because he really wants to make it work, and i am just not sure. So what should i do?
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I agree i wouldn't go with him becasue he is to despreat and that shows he is to immautre and is rushing into things to fast but from now on on a realationship come out with the truth and tell your parents.
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This guy is already starting off on the wrong foot
He gave you an ultimatum and pretty much suggested you could lie to your parents? Wrong, This is not a good way to put on a good impression at all.
If you aren't ready for a relationship at this time then you have every right to not be one but I think you should be upfront and honest about how you feel instead of beating around the bush. If he keeps insisting that you give it a try and becomes desperate about it then you've just found yourself not only someone who wants to give your parents a bad impression but a controlling ass.
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You're afraid to tell your parents about your relationship with this guy. That seems rather odd for a 20-year-old. You are an adult, after all, and it's hardly an unusual thing for someone of that age to have a romantic relationship. What would they do if they found out about your dating a boy?
This guy is pressing you for a relationship, even to the point of lying to your parents because HE wants to "make it work"?
I wonder about your statement of the problem: "I am scared to be with him." What's the scary part? Your parents' reaction, this boy's rather aggressive approach to the relationship, or the prospect of putting off dating/romantic relationships for a while to work on yourself?
I can't tell you what to do, but a relationship which involves secrecy and lies is not off to a promising start. I'm reading between the lines here, but this guy sounds like he's putting a lot of pressure on you to do things that are likely to benefit him far more than they will benefit you. Let me just say, if you can't do something with confidence that it is consistent with who you are and what you want in life, proceed with extreme caution.
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I know it sounds cheesey, but listen to your heart. Because at the end of the day, you should do what makes YOU happy. Although, I think if you truly wanted to be with him, you wouldn't question it. And the fact is, you ARE 20 years old. He's not going to be the only guy you're interested in. If you decided to be with him, you'd have to hide it, and I don't see how anything could work that way. But if you want to be with him, you should just tell your parents. You are old enough to decide who should or shouldn't be in your life. Hope I could help!
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