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Needing advice about failing
So, um, I'm not entirely sure if I'm on the right category because it's about my studies and my family, but I think I'm in the right category. Okay, so I'm supposed to graduate after this semester. But I'm failing on one subject, Internship, which means I won't be going to graduate yet even if I pass all my other subjects. Now, I don't know how or what to tell my parents about it. They'll be furious with me, of course. Especially because I had problems before. I'm actually graduating later than my batchmates, and if I fail this subject, then my graduating will be even more delayed. And that's why I think they'll be furious.
don't know, but I really can't find the motivation to do it, to start on my internship. I can't do it. I spent the entire semester just staying indoors or going out and minding my own writing stuff, as well as my other subjects and just barely keeping up with school. All I know is that I feel like I don't want to continue it. Like I wan to stop. Or at least take some kind of break from it. And just find a job and work and write and just live my life the way I want it. I feel like I don't want to continue school, at least for now, and just go back to school when I'm feeling like it. But... I don't know how to say this to them. I feel as if the reason I didn't have the motivation to comply with my Internship is because I'm tired of school and of feeling pressure. I'm feeling pressured because my older brother stopped going to school and doesn't even find a job, like a black sheep. And because of that I feel like I need to be this really good child who has to have a good educational background and have really nice job and shouldn't disappoint them in any way. Everyday, I feel like I lose track of who I an more and more.
I just don't know how to break to them the whole failing thing and the wanting to take a break from school then just finding a job thing. I'm scared.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
You mention previous problems to this, and then the failing in one area now. Then adding that you have an older brother who dropped out of school and is not even working and thus being a burden on them.
I have no idea if this is the case or not, but was it your parents idea for you to go to college, them funding it? If so, this was a bad idea, them wanting their ego and pride saved by pushing you to go to college when you had no desire to go or wasn't ready yet. This reminds me of the familys where Dad or Mom or both were Lawyers, Doctors or Police officers and so where their parents and now they expect their children to carry on the tradition and pressure them to not stray from their expectations and follow their own heart.
If this is your case, you're an adult now, it is time to follow your own heart and dreams, and not be an extension of theirs. If you were pressured into college and succumbed to their pressure, of course they will be Angry by you finally having the will power to quit and speak your own mind, especially after they've invested money into it. It's half their fault, the loss of investment if they pressured you to go. If thats the case, they have no right to fault you and be angry. But not all parents see clearly when it comes to how to be a parent of an adult child and they can make some big mistakes.
If you're funding your own way, they still have no right to tell you what to do. It's your money, your decision, your life.
If it Was your Idea to go to College:
Did you enter college with no idea OR vague idea's of what you wanted to study for?
Do you have a passion for the field you are studying for, are you passionate about it, can't get enough of it, can't stop talking about it, always turning the conversation to the subject matter, find that time flies when you are submersed in studying for it?
If you don't have that passion behind you, you probably haven't come across the thing that you are empassioned about yet and if you haven't come across it yet, you may then not yet have awareness that a particular thing is something that you should pursue in a vocation and of course in training for, whether hands on training or if schooling is needed.
I have a brother in law and his best friend who both went to college and halfway through what they studied for, decided it wasn't something that excited them enough so they switched degrees. Brother did it a third time. His buddy last count I know of was trying the 5th time in his early thirties college for another subject.
Some people just take longer to come to self realization and making those big life changing decisions. You are told & taught 'who and what you are' as a young child by your parents, as an older child by your friends, as a teen by your peers, and out of high school into early 20's by society. It is as teens or the early 20's that some people naturally rebel against that. I am not saying rebel as a negative thing, but an important step for self. It is a time when you begin to have issues with doing what parents, peers or society expects of you. The things may not be bad but they just don't feel like YOU. It's a time when you begin to first shed what the parents think you are or expect you to be, then also the expectations of friends and peers and finally society in general. You are at a point of starting to discover this. At age 28, 29, 30 is the final big choices and turnings you take to becoming who you know you are at core. Being true to yourself and living the life expressing who you are will be the most happy one you can live.
Know that you must follow your heart. Explain calmly to the parents that this is what you are trying to do. You don't mean to disrepect their idea's of what is best for you, but their time of parenting style of telling you what to do is over, now as their adult child, you can tell them you will ask for their thoughts and ideas and use them as a sounding board but that your decisions are ultimately going to be yours from now on, whether right, or wrong in the end, they are yours to make and learn from. They can't argue with that if they are reasonable mature adults. Give them time to get over their disappointment. But you will be happier following your own dream, not theirs.
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