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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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iv been takeing female hormone pills with out thinking the side affects I know cant take of my shirt and I know have to wear abra I have a b cup and I hate it what can I do so you know in a man
How did you get your hands on hormone pills, I would think, through a Dr. And thats exactly who you need to talk to and ask your question of. If you got pills off the street or mail order off the web, i'd be leery about trusting something like that. If the plan was as an original male to become female, then I know taking hormone pills is part of it.
Not sure what you meant to say you hate, but you mentioned B cups right before. So you wanted boobs but you don't want to wear bra's, going bra less? Well, you can go bra less but must wear a shirt. Thats a problem all females have to live with. When its hot outside, a male can whip off his top and go shirtless, females can not. Are you saying you never thought about that when you first starting to grow breasts. Well sorry, but welcome to the world of Females and all the shit we have to put up with.
I have this ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend. We broke up 5 months ago and today is their first month together. Actually, they are just reunited. They have been together, before me and I just found it out after we broke up. My ex hide it from me. I'm the one who broke up with him, but then I realize I can't live w/o him so i tried to fix things up but he said he's tired of everything. Many people say that me and the girl have similarities in our appearance (which for me is not true). So I decided to move on and get out of their lives. Recently, the girl is chatting me on Feb, telling me things about them, giving me advices abt relationships, and like telling me straight to my face that I was just a rebound. And then there comes my ex. I already unfriend him on fb but he added me again. Talks to me like nothing happened, he tells me his problems then tells me to keep it a secret, calling me out (but i rejected). He even shows my picture to his friends. Then the girl now is blocking my friends, telling the boy that we are fighting and other bitter things. What should I do with them?
I agree, don't have anything to do with either of them. Both are nothing but drama. To prevent them finding you on fb or any other venue, you could make anoter fb account for example, not using your real first and last name so you cant be found by a name hunt Make something up like Heather Rose for a name and only tell everyone else but those two and any other mutual friends who know them of your new name. That way no accident in them finding how to continue to harass you on the net.
I am thirteen and this guy told my friends he liked me. He is going to ask me out on monday at school and i don't know what to wear. I am a brunette and i am five feet. I want to be flirty, but not desperate. I know i sound stupid, but i need help. Also, do you know any cute ways to do your hair? My hair is super thick and only medium length! Thx.
Lets just imagine this guy never peeped a word to your friends that on Monday he plans to ask you out. So you are totally unprepared and surprised. So you'd be wearing your hair the normal way you do, wearing your usual school clothes.
Do you really think that he would decide to not ask you out because you look as you usually do? Do you really think he is expecting you to dress up and look flirty for the occasion of being asked out?
I have 3 daughters all in their 20s now so you'd think I'd have heard of this practice of dressing up for the occasion of being asked out, beforehand if this was a normal thing for all girls. But its only recently I am starting to see this on the advice site. I have to be honest, it doesnt make any sense to me.
You say you don't want to look desperate for a boyfriend. Well dressing up to look flirty to get a guy to ask you out when he already has intended to ask you out is overkill, dont you think? If I were a guy, I know I would be confused as to why the girl that I was attracted to for the way she looks normally every day, happens to look all dolled up on the day I want to ask her out. I might even feel intimidated as a guy. But I am not a guy, perhaps Adviceman might see this and give you his perspective as a guy.
I just don't see that as being necessary.
Just be yourself dear, thats what hooked this guy in the first place. Confidence in a girl is the sexiest thing she can wear. Men with dating advice videos for women from men, say so all the time.
You do not need to do anything special. Just be confident that being yourself is attractive enough for him and making yourself look totally different may make his lose his nerve to ask.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years but I still feel like he doesn't trust me. He asks me the same question again and again as if I had lied.
He was previously engaged and she cheated on him multiple times, I just don't think he trusts me all because of her.
He's great, but he also yells so easily and he doesn't trust me. I just, i'm so torn.
Oh, and on top of that-- We live 4-5 hours away from each other.
THanks
Under normal circumstances, 2 yrs to get to know you well enough to trust you, is enough time for him. Being that you are 4-5 hrs apart, my concern is you both not having enough time in each others presence for trust to build. LDRs who've never met in person and don't already have a trust previously, also find it extremely hard to build trust. That is something for a relationship where you can spend time 24/7 getting to know each other and trust. So it your case, weekend meetups may not be enough for him to have gained trust. If you see each other less than the 4 weekends a month, it even worse. It's more like a fling but no lasting relationship building stuff in it. It may seem great to you but thats how human are, they need the consistency for it to even have a chance to work.
Now a comment on your statement:He's great, but he also yells so easily
If a person can not control their emotions and easily succumb to anger causing them to yell alot, it points to possible issues within him that would mean he is Not great. Being great and yelling too easily do not go hand in hand.
Thats like saying your dog is a great pet but is prone to attack people easily and doesnt trust you either so it attacks you. Dog's that attack and injure people, get put to sleep. That doesnt make it a good pet anymore than this guy hurting you emotionally by yelling and not trusting makes him a great guy.
He is not ready for a relationship is he can't get over his issues which are more than trust and an anger problem. What is actually deep inside him that causes his anger issues? It may be something he's experienced growing up, abuse perhaps, an angry father, drunk or druggie parents that abused or neglected him so he already has a chip on his shoulder. It could be a hundred different things but if he hasn't been able to come to peace with whatever in his past/even other than this cheater fiancee, then he needs the help of a professional to get over it. That means counseling.
I am not saying a person can't have a day where they are really stressed and might raise their voice a bit even yell once in a while. We're human. But constant yelling, prone to it easily is a glaring red neon sign telling you that there are other issues and staying with him, it won't improve, marrying him, you'll wish you hadn't.
Don't settle for less. Do not marry any man who isn't able to agree that he does have a problem with "whatever it is you bring up to him" and agree to go to a counselor. Then you wait to see if the counseling has changed him. You give a guy plenty of time with and around you in person , live, so you can see how he handles things, his moods when he is extra tired, sick, happy, stressed, sad or angry. Then you will really know his true character. Right now, I doubt you truly know his character.
21/f
Long story short. I have been cheated on a total of six times by six different guys. I have been telling myself that it's not my fault, it says something about them and not about me... But it has happened so often, it's starting to become harder for me to believe that.
Usually when people cheat, it's because they're not getting the physical or emotional needs met... I've been thinking about all of them and I've tried to reach all of those needs of my boyfriends. I've also always told them that I hate it when people cheat and if they were ever unhappy or upset with me, to talk to me about it--don't cheat on me. But yet, I still get cheated on and I feel betrayed.
I tried thinking about my childhood and my parents but there were no traces of cheating or trust issues in my family. Is it me? Am I the problem? Is that why I keep getting cheated on?
In short, you are not the problem causing them to cheat. The problem lies in choice of guys. Often in life we have small lessons to learn to get past. So many are wrapped up in relationships. Its a fact in life that is someone keeps making the same mistake in lets say a test in school, it simply tells the teacher that you still aren't getting it. Somehow in your selection process, you have been unable to recognize the same signs in the next guy to avoid getting together with him totally. So you basically need to pay better attention.
I agree with you that usually when people cheat, it's because they're not getting the physical or emotional needs met. too often, it's not because their partner is doing anything wrong but with the wrong person, where they have no chemistry together. What people believe is chemistry often may just be that heightened sense of excitement at a new relationship called New Relationship energy and it can mimic the real thing good enough to fool the best of us. It wears off in a couple weeks or months though. I do want to point out, it isnt just about what you can do to please the guy it's what he does for you. If you come at it as just doing everything you know he wants just to keep him, thats no different than you doing exactly what your boss asks of you each day so you can keep your job and get a paycheck. Its a work with reward mentallity.
Yes, a relationship is work. Its different with worker/boss, one is higher in status than the other. In a relationship, thats bad. It will be out of balance. The two need to come at it as wanting to please their partner because they are in love with them, not because they want to hang on to them. The hanging in there, is something a person should want to do because they love in return and know they won't find anyone more perfect for them else where. You are young yet and just starting to learn. A big part of the problem is young boys who have no clue how to go about having a healthy relationships, the do's and don'ts or plain old just don't care. Lots of it has to do with age. The brain isn't done growing until mid 20's. Give em until then and you'll begin to find more mature guys.
I am JeanieBeanie. I'm 14 and have a lot of stress at the moment and have had it since the beginning of the summer. For one thing I just lost a close friend, because she was becoming insanity slutty and taking my other friends away from me by dating them and controlling them, as well as getting closer to my girl friends to pull them away from me for no apparent reason. Another reason is I have stress concerns my mother. Her brothers and sisters have Huntington's Disease. All except for her and one of her brothers. She lost her big sister in April, we had her funeral in June. Also she lost her older brother this summer. His funeral was in August. We are expecting to loose my moms little brother next and shortly. Along with me getting random anxiety attacks which has been triggering my acid reflex, causing me to miss school. Also, I'm not sure if my boyfriend still loves me as much as he did a month ago. I could really use some advice on how to relieve myself from some stress. Do you have any helpful methods?
Thats a great link from the other advice giver. I have seen some of those same things listed as relief for depression. If I had aunts and uncles dying, I been more than stressed, probably depressed. Depending on how long you've let your stress hang around without trying to do something about it, you may already be moving into depression.
The word itself means something is depressed or lowered. What is lowered in a stressed/depressed human is neuro transmitters in your brain. I will post the article I came across and I reworded to make it easier to understand. It has lots of the same as the other list and some new things but explains what is happening in your body when there is stress and how to fix it.
Heres the article:
All about Depression and what to do about it
Depression isn't something to fear or shy away from acknowledging and taking care of. It is nothing more than the indicator on your cars dashboard saying oil levels are low. So what exactly are people low on when they begin to feel depressed and anxious? Here's an article that explains it all without my having to type it out for you.
http://www.integrativepsychiatry.net/neurotransmitter.html
Yes, there is something you can do that will instantly jump start your body into creating more NT's and feel good hormones. I came across a article in a blog once on the internet that explains it well. When one of my daughters got depressed after a 2nd boyfriend broke up with her, it was real bad this time and she was unable to bounce back. I told her what to do but hey, it's just mom, what does she know, right? So through her job, she went for her one free visit to a psychologist who told her everything she could do herself since she would be unable to come in for sessions, and the list he gave her is exactly what I came across.
It's going to sound crazy, really silly and not believable but you're not going to get results if you don't trust me enough to give it a try, cus what have you got to lose, as silly as it makes you feel.
1. Find reasons to laugh. Laughter is good medicine for a reason. It helps raise these low levels. So watch your favorite comedies, get on the net and find comedy acts to watch. Talking about the hard belly ache laughter here.
2. Listen to uplifting music. I can't say what is uplifting to you but it's going to be something you've always felt when hearing a certain melody, its not the lyrics that count, its the sound. What you're looking for is listening to the songs that make your heart feel light as a balloon as if it were about to float out of your chest. A melody that does it for me is "Clocks" by Coldplay. I have a small collection of songs I play and sing along to whenever I begin to feel a stressed feeling coming on, which warns me my levels are too low.
3. This brings me to the next point--singing. Singing helps to raise those NTs and hormones. So don't just listen to music, sing along.
4. Movement...action is important. Think of how many people you've heard of who lack energy, want to stay in bed all day and do nothing when severely depressed. Doing nothing will only keep a person stuck so doing the opposite, movement will help. It is suggested that a person walk, jog, do exercise or a more fun version of movement, dancing. So just move to the music. There's that music again. Its all tied together as you can see. I have tried skipping, like a little kid would do. Hadn't done it since I was a kid. Imagine a woman in her 50's skipping down the street. I felt silly but as I continued, I began to laugh hilariously at myself and I feel the stress just melt off instantly.
5. Give hugs and get hugs. Have you heard of hugging therapy? Bet you haven't. But in recent years it is becoming more popular. A true prolonged bear hug with another person is much needed to help keep the levels up. One hug per day won't do. It is suggested that around 8 per day will help. So...give a hug and you automatically recieve one. Can't think of anyone you like enough to give a hug to? Hug a stranger.
* The first five are things that will have the quickest effects. Here are more
6. Meditate. This means you're taking time to let your mind relax, not focus on your problems or tasks to be done. This takes some practice to do well and learn how to stop your subconscious mind from just constantly wandering off to dwell on things that rob you of your peace.
7. Learn to forgive. Did you know that when you hold a grudge or hold on to your anger, you are
putting a huge energetic tax on your system? Think of it like picking up a heavy weight and having to carry it around with you all the time. As long as we focus on what was done to us from a negative viewpoint instead of finding the ability to forgive, we keep reliving the experiences as a victim rather than remembering them as an overcomer.
8. Being Grateful/Thankful. Gratitude is one of the highest states you can achieve. No matter what’s going on in your life, you can find something for which to be grateful. Even when something terrible has happened to you, chose to find the blessing or positive point in the situation. Such as: "I am grateful to the people who were challenging to me today because it gave me the
opportunity to grow." And it could be something simple as "I am grateful to have the warmest, coziest bathrobe in the world."
The last three tend to have something to do with our thoughts and our brain. If these 3 are not addressed in your life, then all the relief you find with the first 5 steps will be dropped down to lower levels again. So learning to work on the last three as becoming a part of who you are will help greatly.
You should now understand what it means when the NTs and hormones are at critically low levels for you to be able to function normally. If not, think of it like a car low on oil to lubricate the parts. You can make the engine freeze up and ruin it. The low levels in a cars oil could be due to an oil leak and a check up for the car would reveal that.
Its just the same for a human. To make a comparison, the oil leak would be like a medical issue contributing to the problem. Just as a cars oil will get used up in the daily functioning on the road, and need to be replaced regularly, so it is with us, we actually need daily if not every other day techniques used to raise our levels again as they get used up. Unfortunately this is not taught to humans at all at any point in their life. Depression is just the humans 'indicator light' saying that 'their oil' is low.
My boyfriend and I have been dating a few months and this is a social media questions I guess. We never put we were in a relationship which never bothered me I really didn't care he never uses his Facebook I use mine really just to post pictures for family that lives further away. Well last night we were sitting together and he wanted me to change mine to in a relationship I was fine with I changed it it obviously tagged him in when it asked who I was in a relationship with well there is this girl he friends with whom has feelings for him he doesn't have feeling for her but they have been friends for years she's friends with his mom that's how they meet well she does gets drunk all the time does pills etc just got released from the hospital because she tried to kill her self and says it's over him well less then 24 hours she said if he didn't remove it from Facebook she was gonna kill her self and I said does that mean u want me to take it down or post more he said don't post more which I'm not a horrible person I wouldn't of posted anything else to begin with and he said no about taking our relationship down 2 seconds later he said maybe I should take it down. Well I don't care about social media but he wanted to make it public about us being together and it felt good and then feels likes it ripped right back out. Not sure if their is a question here just really looking for advice I feel miserable I don't even want to talk to him because I feel I'm going to say something stupid about it
As I understand, it's a pretty free country and your facebook acct is yours to do with as you please. You can't be deleteing, or selective posting just because someone won't like it. What if 3 wacko boys were all in love with you asking you to post that you love them and you can't post just one, the other two will be upset. It gets pretty stupid. Think about it, society has gotten so fragile. If we are offended by a movie, a slogan, a photo or whatever, we try to sue. She is a product of todays society. Make a big enough fuss and you can get whatever you want. Well, it doesnt work that way, especially not in relationships. He has no feelings for her. End of story. You don't have to feel guilty about it. And you don't have to hide the fact you two are dating, she should ask you to, neither should he
Don't feel pressured. thats a bunch of baloney. We really do pick and choose what we are gonna feel pressured into doing. If someone was pressuring you to jump off a bridge to your death, would you eventually cave in and do it?
Another thing you can do is the same that people who have their facebook acct hacked, close the old one and give the new name to only those you want to have it, so neither of you give this girl the new one. And dont use your own names for the acct. No Julie Brown or Tom Alberts, go for something you like but that she cant trace you by if she tries to find you by name. Something really different like Sunflower Lollipops, or Hikerbikerboy...you get the picture.
okay so I'm sixteen and I've been diagnosed with aspergus but that's not what this is about. basically i am depressed and confused and a whole lot of other things. I don't know how to explain this but I feel like my mind works differently to everyone else's. This may sound weird but I literally can not handle the fact that my life is meaningless, what i'm saying is when i die no one will remember me. The way i see it is that we are just little dots on the earth and we live out the same routines. it's like were robots who are programmed to just perform meaningless tasks until were no longer needed. All we do is grow, work then die and we all follow the same trends as well. no one is truly original, someone will have the same job, thoughts or opinions as you. you might say something like it's not about any of that and we just need to live our live to the fullest, but for what? To have it all wasted and thrown away after a few years. I know some people might say that we all have a purpose, for example I play the drums and I always wanted to be a drummer when I grew up but there has been millions of drummer's before me and how is playing the drums going to give me a purpose? It's not like I'm changing the world. which brings me onto another point. you might say that some people's hard work will live on forever but it won't. We will all be forgotten eventually no matter how important we were when we lived. You might think this is just negative thinking or maybe just puberty but to me this is awful. It's all i think about and it's horrible. This probably sounds stupid to you but this is killing me. I don't even know what i'm trying to ask but can you just give me some advice.
I will add just one thing more to that wonderful story shared by Adviceman. Yes, you may never know what positive impact you have on someone, maybe not something as big as saving a life but just some words of encouragement that help someone stay in school and not drop out for example. That is also a good thing.
I see the planet has having tons of little dots on it, all people who seem to go through the same routine every day. Wake up and go to school or work, come home, take care of things at home, eat 3 meals a day and go to sleep and start over.
However, there are many variables in those routines. And I believe that is because each one of our souls had some things they either wanted to experience while on this planet or something they needed to learn. And so each soul is born into the life in which they have the best opportunity to learn it. And that is why one is born into a strictly religious family when they don't believe the same things and their struggle is to learn to be strong enough to make that break as they become an adult to follow their own beliefs, or a woman marries a man she thought was nice but soon after marriage he begins to be abusive and she must learn to love herself enough to not wish to subject herself to that treatment anymore and leave him. Those are but a few examples of what may be part of your purpose in life. It won't always be revealed at the same time for everyone. It can happen when young, when a parent or later in life. But no time living is wasted time. As part of Gods creation, we are to learn to get along and care about all of God's children, our extended family so to speak, for we are all sisters and brothers and it isn't always easy to treat each other so. It can be a challenge but we have our lifetime in which to learn how to love ourselve, love others, love the earth and love the creator. All that is happening while you have your daily routine.
So I have asked this question before but I left out details so the answers I got couldn't really help me. First off my parents fight a lot. They don't love each other never did and never will. My mom helped me dad become a doctor and she got married bc she thought she was becoming old and was never going to find someone. My dad married her bc of similar reasons. Anyways, my mom always helped my dad study while she worked her ass off as a pharmacist. At this time, my brother was about 2. Sometimes my dad got violent . Then I was born and he became a doctor. My mom stopped working and stayed Home with me. A couple years later my little sister was born. My dad sometimes used to get violent with my teenage brother bc he was a trouble maker and my parents took it out on each other. My mom only stayed with him for us bc we would be able to have wat we have if she divorced him. My mom constantly rants about eating healthy and watnat and sometimes my dad explodes. These are some examples of wat happened: my mom booked a really nice hotel room for two nights in San diego which is a couple hours away from us on eid(a Muslim holiday) so after we went to the mosque in the morning we planned to go to Starbucks then to San diego. At Starbucks my mom got my uncles friend to meet us there to give us an exclusive Lego for eid. My dad flipped out bc my mom interrupted him and hugged my uncles friend and they had a huge fight in the car. My mom (on the street) opened the car door and walked out. My dad kept driving. I yelled at him and (despite my brothers protests) got out of the car too and said I wasn't coming back in till we get my mom. Eventually my mom and I were back in the car and we ended up still you going to San diego even after wat happened . My mom ignored my dad. My dad apologized and stopped being a bitch ( for the time being) but they still fought the entire trip. Things extreme like this happen every couple months and in between its not that bad. But we can never do anything fun bc this happens. Like this week was my bday so my mom planned a little boat ride for our family of 5 and 3 family friends. My dad apparently wanted to have sex and my mom didn't which led to another fight so now my dad isn't going and I don't think my brother wants to go unless he's going. I hate this. Therapy didn't work and my parents want to get a divorce and then for like a month or two they don't bc everything's fine and then it starts all over again. It's a little scary sometimes. Bc my dad can get violent I feel like there's a bomb ticking over our family, ticking off the seconds until it obliterates everything in its wake. I don't no wat to do. I feel lonely especially bc my best friend just moved to Wisconsin and my other best friend is dealing with similar issues but we don't no wat to do and it makes it hard for me to focus in school bc like ideas or memories of family horror nights just PoP in my head.please help me but don't tell me to go to a school counselor . Thx
You can't solve your parents marriage issues for them. Of therapy hasn't worked and both are too chicken of being single again to actual break up for good, this is just going to continue.
If you do not plan to reach oout for help through someone local like school counselor or maybe even your Mosque leader, I have no other suggestions other than staying away from home a lot, hanging out at friends homes more and when at home, locking yourself in your room and putting ear plugs in to lesson the noise of fights and turn on your music to help drown out the rest of it..
So I have this major crush on a guy that lives in a different country and who doesn't know who I am. I know of him because he's the youngest brother of a famous YouTuber .. What should I do with my feelings ? Should I do anything about it or is it just a bunch of balogne and I should just scrap it ?
Crushes and puppy love are things we can expect as we go through puberty and beyond. Long distance relationships are hard even for the very experienced adult let alone someone new to the arena of boy/girl relationships. I don't advice any LDR for too many reasons to go into detail right now. If you want to know what the pitfalls are, you may ask me.
So, as to what to do with the feelings you're having? I advise ladies every day it seems to be keeping a journal, of what they think they like about men in general through an experience with or crush on someone. It can be the skin deep issues, such as his looks and smile and sound of his voice. You'll want to note what personality traits you like best. Lets say you're a laid-back type of gal. You wouldn't want an impatient, antsy type of guy. short term, yes you could probably handle it...but you are practicing on learning how to find the right guy for you later in life for long term or life long relationship. And some things or quirks you could hand short term are things that would drive you both nuts and /or cause fights. As you date in real face to face relationships through school and life, make notes of the bad traits too. And don't hang around if his behavior towards you is abusive, destructive or neglective...meaning he ignores you way too much.
So maybe it's his accent, how he communicates, his looks that attract you, write it down and be specific. You will add to and subtract or revise your list as time goes on. When a guy wants to date you, you make sure you tell him also what you are looking for in a boyfriend and ask if he can meet all your requirements on the list. The immature guys will fuss about a list and lose interest in you....thats what you want to have happen, thats weeding out the undesirables. If a guy is really interested, he will still want to be with you and be that guy you're looking for. In fact, in dating advice for woman from male coaches, they say men find that females who know what they want from a guy and aren't afraid to mention it, are very attractive to men, something about the confidence. You won't get it right all at once, but work with it. Learn, remember and always strive to choose someone better the next time around. So never ignore your feelings, cus the feelings aren't baloney, its your body working you slowly towards learning how to find the right guy for someday.
recently im not able to hear any videos on youtube that i have watched and another thing no matter what i do cannot fix the sound is there something you can download to fix it if so post me links and i hope Dragonflymagic gets this in her advice column
I am not the computer techie. You might try your question with dangernerd. If you had issues with sound no matter what you were listening to, music stored on pc or you tube, then it might be the sound card on your computer. You could try calling a local computer repair shop and describe your problem.
So recently, my 'best friend' has been very rude to me. Let's call her 'A.' A's been in a relationship with a guy for 3 months and they pretty much do everything together and are constantly texting. That's not what's annoying, though. A started hanging out with these 3 girls who she thinks are like her best friends, but I'm in a huge group convo with them (that A isn't in) and they've been talking bad about A recently. A only goes to me if her boyfriend or these other friends are occupied, and will ignore me if she's in a group with them. Granted, I've started doing the same to let her know how annoying it is, like I was talking with a guy and she tried to get into our conversation, but we both just ignored her. The only time she's texted me in the past week was when she sent me pictures of the guy I used to like (she still thinks I like him) from another girl's phone and was just overall being extremely rude. I think she told her entire lunch table that I like him too. Since she started her relationship, she's lost over half of her old friends but hasn't realized it. She thinks that everyone likes her even when half the school has been talking behind her back. She tries to be friends with her bf's friends, but most of them have said she's just annoying. How do I get her to realize how rude she's been and that she's lost all of her friends? Sorry for the long description, answers are appreciated!
If it's as you say that she's lost half her friends, then if something like that doesn't get her attention, then there is nothing you as her friend can say or do to draw attention to it. I am guessing that we are talking about some under the age of 25?
The issue with age maybe having something to do with her behavior is that young people have bodies that matured. But our brains don't finish growing until our mid 20's to even 30. This means, a person is unable to see consequences to their decisions which is exactly what is happening with your friend, among other problems like inability to form good judgements and lack of control, impulses and emotions. This section of the brain also helps people understand one another. The prefrontal cortex section of the brain in teens is still a little immature as compared to adults. There really is nothing that can be done for her that time alone may cure if she ever does mature mentally.
The only other thing that might be affecting or adding to it, is when puberty hits, a female getting an overload of hormones. too many can make a girl lose control of her emotions, extremely sad, or extremely angry and vengeful. A Dr. Can check her out for that at least and offer temporary medication until her hormones level out on their own.
I am someone, who isn't specifically good at anything. I can't smile pretty like other girls. I am someone who can't particularly please someone without my mask. I want to change myself, how can i do that..?
Maybe you haven't found your niche or talent yet. Some people take quite a while to discover their, and that can be well into their adult years.
I do not understand how a smile can not be pretty.
This statement makes me wonder if you struggle as many young teens do with their self image and worry they are not good enough. If this is your issue, let me know, I have some links to send you.
Saying that you can't please people without being someone you are not is a very bad habit to get into.
I will explain. If your main focus is to be a people pleaser and not find relationships where friends both put in equal effort to make the relationship worth with alternating the giving and taking, then you run a risk of ending up in abusive relationships where someone runs your life and you are always trying to please and no matter what they are never happy because THEY are the ones with a problem.
About the mask: thats a false personality, a facade, you hide behind because you think you are not interesting. There is someone for everyone. You can't get every human on the planet to want to be your friend. Problem with a false front, is that it takes a lot of personal energy to keep the mask in place 24/7 so at some point it will slip. I have seen this over and over again throughout life, it's for real...not kidding you. Problem is, once the mask slips, they get to see the real you. And you will be hurt if they only liked you for your false identity, not for yourself. You may think it's great to have the initial attention but it loses appeal quickly and you are left with people who leave you in the end when you are not who they thought you are.
lET
Here is the story, I liked my teacher mr. nelson and he favorites different students but I don't think he favorites me at all. So since hes my former teacher I started following him on twitter and we were talking for a while but I intiated most of the conversation. While we were talking I got annoyed that he wasn't replying so I decided to block him on twitter then after that icouldnt see his profile and he could not see mine. so then he blocked me then unblocked me and I sent him an email saying im sorry and everything. so then he unblocked me and let me follow him on twitter again. Now if he was annoyed by me why would he not follow me anymore but let me follow him on twitter? Im so confused if he liked me or not. And another issue is he put on twitter I wish jesse still went to (my old high school) but he didn't do that for me. he must like jesse better. :( jesse likeshim back too anyway. should I just give up. and also one of his reasons for not talking to me which he said in a message was "Im not mad at you ive just been really busy." I don't go to that high school anymore so how can I get ahold of him and ask why he is ignoring me. he talks to other girls from my high but he wont talk to me on twitter. How do I get him back.
I don't understand the thing about keeping in touch with teachers and making them your friends, even after graduating. It seems to be a thing that is common only in the last decade? Even my daughters never had desires to keep in touch with their teachers after high school.
friending and unfriending on facebook/twitter or any other net venue and having hurt feelings or jealous feelings because of it...well in short, lets say...theres more to life than internet "friends' Whether peers or teachers. I find that in my life, people I personally know who felt the same as you, basically didn't have a life of their own, and some had no self esteem or low one.
I wonder if this is a form of crushing on ones teacher, current one or past one. Imagine if you were a teacher and each school year, five students out of 5 classes wanted to make you their friend. thats 25 students per year clamoring for your personal attention and convo's with them. If you were doing nothing but keeping in contact with old student fans all day, you wouldnt have time to teach or have your own life anymore. Hon, it just isn't realistic to expect a teacher to remain in touch with All past students, let alone be friends with them.
im a male who cannt control my need to wear high heels away from work ones with a 6 or 7 inch heel if I don't I get depressed
Hey there, you made a statement but didn't actually state what you needed advice on. You did say you can't control wearing 6-7 inch heels. Were you wanting to wear heels lower in height or not wear any at all?
These days, pretty much nothing is considered odd anymore and people have the freedom to express themselves the way they feel a need to and the way that makes them happiest.
I can understand being upset if you feel you cant do something you want to for whatever reason. However depression is as far as I'm concerned, a secondary condition to whatever other emotional needs you have that are being bottled up. There is clinical depression, you just have it and it's not based on the situations in your life. If thats what you have, you need to see a Dr. and get medication. If this is a depression caused by situations, you can get over the depression maybe even without medication but you may still need help. If you don't want this need but want to know where it comes from, we can only guess, we are not professionals. I believe in reincarnation and our souls holding onto some bits and pieces of a past life that come through in odd little things we do or dream that aren't consistant with societys general description of the female and male sex's. I used to dream I was a man, a warrior trained to defend our villages and I killed people which went against my Christian beliefs, violence. I only came to grips when I began to believe reincarnation and knowing that this isn't odd, it's something my soul remembers from a lifetime as a male rather than as a female. Not everyone will believe such things, but it sure helped me to not feel odd.
I am about to divorce my wife due to incompatibility issues. In fact, she had filed for divorce and it will be over soon.
I want to fall in a relationship again where there is love,understanding. I don't know how to move on.
Please suggest.
I had the incompatibility issues with my ex big time. I decided to use a dating site. there are some for pay that are good,I used two free sites. If you wish to know which, You can write me back.
It is scary to start again. Plus you've grown as a person since you first married. You can also try a singles meet up event. Just look for singles meet ups in your city on line. Some organize meets at a restaurant or bar, for bbq's at a park, for a hike, etc.. where people can mingle and get to know each other. Some dating sites have a singles meet up attached to them.
The slow method is in person meet ups. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack to find someone. If you have some very specifics you are looking for in the next lady, a dating site helps.
But you have to be able to describe yourself well enough in profile so when you write a lady, she can read and know if you might be what she's looking for. Mine was so specific on myself and what I wanted in a man that when my now 2nd husband wrote me, we could see we had lots in common. the only thing we didn't know was if we'd have chemistry so we met in person as soon as possible.
don't act desperate. Just enjoy the dating process. I learned too along the way and kept refining my profile depending on snafu's I ran into. good luck. Ask any questions if you need more info.
A year ago I was diagnosed with chronic schizophrenia & psychosis. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and they kept asking me was I ok and have I ever thought about killing someone or myself. I have thought about killing myself by overdose, or just jumping from somewhere and dying.Sometimes I wish I could die in an accident, whatever is quick. I have no family or friends to talk to. I have family problems, i'm homeless and I've been bullied all through school and have low self esteem. If I told a doctor I wanted to kill myself would they try to force me in a mental hospital?
No hon. They don't do that sort of thing. I have a daughter who had severe depression after giving birth, apparently she had it before but not as bad, now she had thoughts of killing herself and the baby and confided that to me. We got her to see a doctor. They ask these questions to gauge how severe your depression is and what medications to put you on to help. Please be honest and don't hold anything back from the doctors because they need all the info they can get to help properly diagnosis you and give you the correct help. Even so, if a medication just isn't helping you and you still suffer, go back and tell the docs and have them give you something else.
I also had a brother who was schizophrenic (he's passed on now) He had to tell them everything too so they could adjust his medication as needed. Once he gave them misleading info and they tried some new medication and all of a sudden he was really whacked out, going really crazy instead of calm. So be truthful with your doctors, they are there to help.
My name is JeanieBeanie, and I am 14. I have been dating a boy who's three months younger than me (we'll just say his name is Joe) and I met Joe online. We found each other on the app hot or not and began dating only four months ago. Lately Joe has been acting weird. He doesn't talk to me as much, or say adorable things like he used to. Sometimes when we're face timing, I don't know if he will just hang up or if we loose connection, but either way he doesn't call back. Even when I do he sometimes won't answer. But when I iMessage him he will answer almost immediately. We are only 94 miles apart from each other, and have wanted to meet for a long time, but our parents don't know how we actually met. Sometimes I even have doubts about him dating someone where he is, considering most of his friends are girls. Does Joe not love me anymore?
I have a daughter who met someone 2 states away at the same age. He was a yr younger. His parents had relatives in our state and planned a family vacation to include time to come by our house and meet us so the kids could meet. she got two days to hang out with him and his family, all because both of them talked to the parents who were able to work something out that summer. It doesn't mean it will happen for you but it's worth a try.
They both wrote each other a lot up until the visit and thought they were in love. After the visit, no more writing or contact. Neither of them had interest. See, it was the excitement of the anticipation of meeting someone and the wait for it that sounded better than it really was. Remember being anxious for a toy or gift you requested for Christmas and just couldn't wait. Once you had it, the interest you thought you would have it in forever kind of died away, it lost it's appeal for you.
Happens in relationships too. Thats why I advise
those wanting to get their first couple of serious dating experiences, go for someone who you can have in person, not over the internet.
Dating a girl is a new thing for boys. Girls are strange and hard to understand for lots of boys. It's hard enough in person and worse on line.
Even in person, tho lots of teens love texting, not all guys have much interest in texting. Some hate typing and prefer talking.
It helps guys greatly to talk in person, face to face with a girl so if he doesnt understand what she is saying or isnt quite sure, he can pick up clues from her body language, facial expressions and tone of voice, none of which you can get with texting or typing messages on line. For many guys, they get bored easily and the one dimensional dating on line doesnt hold their attention for long.
The love you are talking about is 'puppy love' (what my daughter had with her on line guy)
It isn't the full blown real in depth lasting love that adult's experience. NOT saying that teens can't experience this but the real lasting kind of love is something like dating, that we have to learn how to be able to do. And very few people have any clue at 14, what it really is and can be sure of their love and their partners love. At 14, I didn't know. At 20 I married and still didn't know. It was a disaster. A very unhappy, abusive marriage.
Sure it is a good thing to start learning at this age. Just don't expect the boy to have it all figured out yet or be brave enough to be honest or communicate well. Communication is a big key to having better dating experiences dear. Don't assume if a guy says he likes you or loves you that is means he is in love with you. i LOVE chocolate icecream, I am not going to marry it. See, many interpretations to the word love. Learn how to ask questions like, "So what is it about me that you love?" "If the answer is I love your humor and your laugh." it merely means that there are a couple of attributes about you he's noticed that he likes. THAT does not equal being in love with you or even wanting to date you. Guys want experience dating girls too and sometimes will say things just to keep them around long enough to learn how to talk to girls. That is first stage before romance. Learn to be the best communicator with boys and you will be way ahead of the other girls.
So ask him. But I suggest that you do not ask "Do you still love me?" this means you made an assumption that he did love you, and a guy won't like a girl assuming things that aren't there for real. Instead "Ask him why he started being your friend on line way back 4 months ago, what was it about you that he liked. Then you ask him if he still feels that way. If he says he does, you could say he doesn't talk with you as much. Has something come up in his life that takes priority over talking to you? If he says yes, then ask him how much time he thinks he reasonably will have free for you and maybe get dates and times.
As you can see, asking questions to get more clarifications on his answers will help you to know where you stand. good luck
My name is JeanieBeanie and I am 14. In the past I have shaved my vagina three or four times, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to at this age or not. Am I old enough to continue shaving my vagina, or should I wait until a certain age?
If you have hair to shave, you're old enough to shave. I nicked myself too many times so I used scissors to just trim hair shorter. The only real reasons to trim or shave at this age is so nothing shows outside the panty or bathing suit bottom area.
The other reason, for me was the natural cleansing fluid that comes out of the vagina when you don't have a period, yellowish and sticks to the panty, well it dried and the hair got stuck dried to the panty so that every time I tried to go to the bathroom and pull down the panties, I had lots of hair glued in place and some got ripped out as if I used tweezers. Didnt feel good. So trimming or shaving solves that problem as well.
My older sister and her boyfriend have moved into my house so they can save move and get their own place. They have a little girl. She's 2 yr. and very troublesome. Lately, my bedroom started smelling like pee. I thought it was my 6 month dog who I have been trying to potty train with pee pads. I tied him outside in the mornings so he could use the bathroom but it still smells. I kept wondering when he's peeing since I have tied him all the time now. One morning I woke up to a watering sound. I look to find that it was my niece. She has been coming into my bedroom without a diaper and peeing on my carpet. I screamed for my sister. She yelled at me for overreacting while cleaning up the mess. It makes me think she knew about it the whole time. We had a talk, her and her boyfriend promised it won't be happening again. I started locking my door afterwards. A few days later, I was washing dishes. My sister was at work, only her boyfriend and my niece was home. My niece goes in front of my door, it was open since I just came out of it. I look over to her and there she goes. Peeing on my bedroom carpet again. I yelled for her dad to come here. I needed a witness to stop them from blaming it on my dog. He just started while I asked him where her diaper was. She was wearing a skirt. She was peeing for a long time. He let her finish before he decided to clean it up and put a new diaper on her. We check her all the time. We hurry up and put one on her after she takes it off. We out pants on her instead of skirts. We are trying to potty train her but nothing seems to work. I don't know what else to do.
Girls are generally easier to potty train than boys from all moms I've talked to. I only had girls. they never removed their diaper or training pants, and they certainly never peed on the floor.
About 4 yrs ago, my daughter was having issues not being able to potty train her daughter,my grand daughter.
My daughter has severe depression and finding she couldn't handle raising her daughter so the moment she went to live with her daddy and his new wife, she was potty trained without any problem.
The big difference is that there was a plan, structure and consistency in sticking with it and that's all she needed. At first they set their clocks or cells to let off an alarm for the amount of time she could stay dry before needing to pee, and making the time even shorter, taking her often to sit on the potty, even if she didn't have to pee yet. If a child is getting enough fluids, they can easily pee even just a few drops every half hour. But that might put a cramp in their style as young parents.
Does the child also have a problem wetting the bed every night? If so, it may be a medical problem of weak bladder something a child can have until ages 16- to 18. They may want to talk to a Dr. as to what can be done if anything if so.
If she doesn't wet the bed at night and she is able to choose where she pees, then she is smart enough to be taught the only place she can pee and do so every time. Your sister and boyfriend may be too lazy and inept at parenting.
I know it's not your role to do so, but perhaps you may want to consider pitching in to help and make some suggestions. First, the child should no longer be in diapers but pullups instead. The problem once a diaper is off, you can't re-tape it and therefore she runs around bare bottom because mom or dad is not keeping tabs on her. A pull up is easier on the child and parents. Maybe more expensive. But if between your sis and boyfriend and you, all are taking turns to take her to the bathroom, have her pull down her pullups and sit for about 2,3 mins and maybe let water trickle slowly out of sink tap ( the water sound helps some kids pee) She will soon get the idea. But somebody needs to tell her it is bad manners to pee anywhere other than in a restroom/bathroom. Offer she a reward to strive for. I only suggest one reward, the reward of getting her own pretty big girl panties to wear.
Haha that's why it is so easy with girls, we always have interest in wearing pretty things, even at that age. You might even have the package of panties always bought so she can see them. And you make it a goal if she can pee in the toilet every day for 2 weeks without an accident, she gets to wear big girl panties. If she has an accident, she will have to wear the pullups again until she can go a few days without a problem and then she gets her panties back.
This takes a parent who is right on top of things. Your niece may have parents but she is not being parented/taught and that is a terrible thing. She can grow into quite an uncontrollable Hellion that no body wants anything to do with.
Try not to yell at the parents. It will put them on the defense and be less likely to cooperate. Even if they are just being lazy, the best thing is to say you understand how busy they both are and have their hands full but you've discovered some things on line that parents can do to help their child potty train. Every adult in the house, even the grandparents, need to agree to stick to the potty training plan. Asking the child if they need to go pee, early on doesnt help because they aren't conscious yet of what it feels like. So dont make that mistake. You just take them regular as clockwork even if she protests. It the repetition of sitting on the potty often that will give her opportunity to actually pee in the toilet on occasion instead of in the pullups. Congratulate her. Get excited in voice when she does it.
That reinforces the proper behavior.
There is negative reinforcement. A child who isn't getting enough attention from the adults will do things to get in trouble on purpose get to get any kind of attention, negative attention of yelling and screaming will do just as good for them but isn't the right way to teach and raise a child. I hope this helps dear.