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What is wrong with me? (sorry for getting all depressing)
okay so I'm sixteen and I've been diagnosed with aspergus but that's not what this is about. basically i am depressed and confused and a whole lot of other things. I don't know how to explain this but I feel like my mind works differently to everyone else's. This may sound weird but I literally can not handle the fact that my life is meaningless, what i'm saying is when i die no one will remember me. The way i see it is that we are just little dots on the earth and we live out the same routines. it's like were robots who are programmed to just perform meaningless tasks until were no longer needed. All we do is grow, work then die and we all follow the same trends as well. no one is truly original, someone will have the same job, thoughts or opinions as you. you might say something like it's not about any of that and we just need to live our live to the fullest, but for what? To have it all wasted and thrown away after a few years. I know some people might say that we all have a purpose, for example I play the drums and I always wanted to be a drummer when I grew up but there has been millions of drummer's before me and how is playing the drums going to give me a purpose? It's not like I'm changing the world. which brings me onto another point. you might say that some people's hard work will live on forever but it won't. We will all be forgotten eventually no matter how important we were when we lived. You might think this is just negative thinking or maybe just puberty but to me this is awful. It's all i think about and it's horrible. This probably sounds stupid to you but this is killing me. I don't even know what i'm trying to ask but can you just give me some advice.
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What you're wondering is something we all wonder about at some time or another. Some turn to religion, others aim to excel in their work, but I like to look at things in a more simple way.
Humans are, statistically speaking, not all that important. Each human occupies a tiny area on a tiny sphere hurtling through a tiny area of the universe. That can really get you down, but it's not all bad. What it means is that you don't need to do huge things in order to make a difference.
Not everyone is going to be famous, or save lives, or be the best at something. That's just fine, because everyone has an impact on those around them. That's what makes us important.
So smile at strangers on the street. Reach out and help others whenever you can. Say something nice to a friend. When you do something good, that good has a ripple effect and can change the course of history in a tiny way. We're all tiny, but just like a virus can bring down a football player, a person's actions can help them live on.
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I will add just one thing more to that wonderful story shared by Adviceman. Yes, you may never know what positive impact you have on someone, maybe not something as big as saving a life but just some words of encouragement that help someone stay in school and not drop out for example. That is also a good thing.
I see the planet has having tons of little dots on it, all people who seem to go through the same routine every day. Wake up and go to school or work, come home, take care of things at home, eat 3 meals a day and go to sleep and start over.
However, there are many variables in those routines. And I believe that is because each one of our souls had some things they either wanted to experience while on this planet or something they needed to learn. And so each soul is born into the life in which they have the best opportunity to learn it. And that is why one is born into a strictly religious family when they don't believe the same things and their struggle is to learn to be strong enough to make that break as they become an adult to follow their own beliefs, or a woman marries a man she thought was nice but soon after marriage he begins to be abusive and she must learn to love herself enough to not wish to subject herself to that treatment anymore and leave him. Those are but a few examples of what may be part of your purpose in life. It won't always be revealed at the same time for everyone. It can happen when young, when a parent or later in life. But no time living is wasted time. As part of Gods creation, we are to learn to get along and care about all of God's children, our extended family so to speak, for we are all sisters and brothers and it isn't always easy to treat each other so. It can be a challenge but we have our lifetime in which to learn how to love ourselve, love others, love the earth and love the creator. All that is happening while you have your daily routine.
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Being 16 is the problem you are having. While you are having a very unfortunate outlook on life at the moment, things do become clearer as you get older. The answer to your question is your normal. I will explain or at least attempt to.
When my son was your age he was in special education classes. One of his teachers one time told me I should teach him to say do you want fries with that order. Did he ever prove her wrong. He went into the Army and where the school system failed the the Army taught him.
Today he is a Firefighter/Paramedic and I stopped counting at 20 the lives he has saved. Imagine 20 people alive today because my son was in the right place at the right time to do what he does best so they can live out their destiny.
Of those 20 lives one stands out. She should be about your age now, she was 18 months old when her parents dialed 911 because she was not breathing. My son was not dispatched on the call but took the call as they felt they were closer than the ambulance that was dispatched. The dispatcher allowed both ambulances to run the call.
As my sons partner tells the story. They pull up in front of the home and my son runs in while he is gathering the jump[ bag and other equipment. As he is walking into the house the other ambulance pulls up and my son is running out of the house with the baby in his arms and he is doing CPR. HE tells his partner to drop the equipment he is carrying and drive the other ambulance and to head for the children's hospital where he works part time. This is the fortunate part.
Fire Department paramedics are primarily trained in Trauma and Cardiac care the two primary life threatening problems. This child while not breathing was suffering from another problem which he saw because of his training in infant intensive care transport. To make a long story short the little girl was breathing on her own by the time they reached the hospital. The other paramedics and the doctors all agree if it wasn't for my son and his partner deciding to run the call that little girl would have died.
I don't know what that little girls destiny is. Maybe she will be the first women President or maybe she will discover a cure for some disease that is threatening the planet like AIDS. The facts is she is alive to live out that destiny because my son followed his destiny and because my son has become one of the best paramedics ever trained by one of the best paramedics in the state.
I don't know what your destiny is but it is not as bleak as you make it out to be. You get out of life what you put into it. There are plenty of role models to look up to and model yourself after or you can strike out on your own. You are on this planet for a reason, it is up to you to find it.
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