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i feel like i lead this guy on..
i thought i had feelings for this guy but hes getting clingy and now i dont think i like him as much... i feel like telling him that would make him think i lead him on.. maybe i did in a way, but i cant help how i feel. i care about this guy but maybe not enough for any kind of relationship.. i dont know what to do and i need advice.. i dont want to hurt him
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The reason for dating or hanging out with a person more is for the very situation you have here. Its to discover what you like and don't like about the person and you will refine your list until it helps you choose the person you want to spend your life with. Initial attraction is great. Choosing to spend more time with a person you're initially attracted to will help discover more things about them to see if you still like them, like them more, like them less or not at all now. That is not the act of leading them on.
Leading a person on starts the moment you decide you're not interested in them at all anymore and yet you accept dates from them, gifts from them and tell them I love you when really, you've ready got your radar going looking for someone else to replace them with. THAT is leading someone on. So when a dating relationship doesn't work out for someone, of course the partner will be disappointed or maybe even hurt but that is life. People are hurt in break ups all the time. It can't be avoided.
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You changed your mind. Human being do that, and you are allowed to do that.
It may hurt his feelings, but that doesn't mean you are wrong. Maybe he'll feel that you led him on - and he'll be wrong. You told him the truth when you liked him, and now you need to tell him the truth when you don't.
It's simple - even though it's hard to do.
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First and foremost, you didn't lead him on. You felt a certain way and acted accordingly, but things are different now. Things change with people all the time. It's unfortunate for him, but you didn't lead him on.
The way I see it, you have two choices. You can either tell him you aren't interested or you can try to distance yourself and drop hints that you aren't interested. He might be hurt a bit more by telling him, but dropping hints will make the process take longer and therefore cause him to suffer for a longer period of time.
It's up to you, but I advise being direct. It seems you care about him quite a bit, enough to want to spare his feelings. It might soften the blow if you reassure him that you care and you don't want to hurt him. Make sure he knows that he's a person of value to you, if that makes sense, you just don't feel the same way he seems to feel.
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