about

:.Hey x3
My name is Emily and blah blah blah.


:.I have a lot of personal, family, and friend issues of my own so a lot of times, I can probably relate to you a lot of times if you have personal, family, and/or friend issues.


:.I can offer a lot of information, help, and advice on family and friend relationships, love lives, depression, stretching/flexibility, weight loss, violin, being organized, dog training, forensics (public speaking), keeping up with school/extracurricular activities, eating disorders, writing (stories and poems), and probably a lot of other random stuff like what to drink when you eat something spicy and why.


:.Although I can help a lot of you guys on the above subjects, I don't tend to take my own advice so it can become quite an awkward/ironic/contradicting situation for me or make myself sound like a complete and utter hypocrite.


:.Hannah Whitall Smith once said, "The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right." I agree 100% of it. Advice is advice and it is given when asked for. I give it and I leave it at that. It's up to the questioner/advice seeker to take it.


:.That point leads onto my philosophies in advice giving:
1. Advice is given when asked and no time else, unless your friend is about to irritate a black bear, then you should definitely advice your friend to back away and run for his or her life.
2. Advice is not critical, not judgmental, and definitely not biased. Advice is advice and should remain neutral.
3. Advice is to help, not to get 5s on every answer. As a result, my advice ends up being quite blunt and frank with a hint of rambling mixed in.

If you have general questions on the topics I can be a lot of help in (as listed above), most likely, they will be in my FORUM

If it is not, you can inbox me to request me to put it up.

:.If you want to ask me a question directly...
a)if it is not urgent and can wait a week or so, inbox me.
b)if it is an urgent question such as "I'm being eaten by a shark! What do I do???" first of all, I'm quite amazed that you can type while being eaten and second of all, e-mail me at cancel.life@gmail.com. I will answer you by midnight of that day (or if it's 11:55PM, probably by 3PM the following day).

advice

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
-- Mahatma Gandhi.

what does that mean?

You know those people that get you down and taunt you for no reason, or so it seems to you? Those people first ignore you because they think it's cool and whatnot. Then they laugh at you and try and get to you because you don't react to them ignoring you. But that won't work because you won't mind or care. So they pick on you and start a fight with you. But in the end, you win because you were not the one who acting like childish people.

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I know that leggings and short denim skirts have been a trend and probably are still a trend for some people. I wear leggings whenever I wear a short skirt because they're just more comfortable. I don't have to worry about my skirt lifting up when I wear leggings. But... is this look still in style? I saw a whole bunch of people wearing it at my school and this year at my school, but ever since my friend said it looked tacky I've been noticing less people wearing it these days. I still wear it. I just don't want to look like an unfashionable weirdo. Is this look still "in" at your school? Tell me what you think.

I personally think that it's very comfortable, keeps you warm in the cold days, and as you said, it prevents from flashing everyone by mistake.

Wear it if you like it. There's not reason you should be a conformist. If you like it, wear it. If you don't, don't wear it. It's your choice. Be a nonconformist with me =] If you friends say that they look tacky, good for them. But it shouldn't affect you along with the fact that it may be winding down at your school

And yes, it is "in" at my school.

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sorry i couldnt get the category.
ok so i consider myself punk/emo. and theirs this girl in my school she called me a poser! and i dont kow why. i listen to rock music, and i thought i had my sense of style. i really dont think i am a poser. she told me jsut cuz i dress that way doesnt amke a rocker.
so i am asking what makes people rockers? i listen to rock. heavy metal so i dont get it? what should i do like make up sheos and clothes. thanks. iwant to improve my style

I personally think that there is no such thing as a poser. People can be whoever they want to be and if they want to label themselves, it's at their own free will.

Disregard the girl because she has no better things to do in life.

And personally, I think people are what they believe they are but if they get so caught up in trying to prove to someone else that they are what they claim to be, they're not true to themselves but putting up false pretense. The fact that you're on a site asking what you should wear and what you should do to be "punk/emo" proves that you're caught up in this girl's stupid word. Be a non-conformist and you'll find it much easier to live. The kind of music you listen to or what you wear or how you do your make up---that means nothing. You are you. Not your clothes, not music, not make up. You're just you and if this girl doesn't like it, then it's her own f---ing problem.

Wear what you want. Listen to what you want. Do whatever you want because if you're going to try and change to be someone you already are, you're changing yourself and that would be giving into this girl's motive.

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i hate my stepmom. i kno hate is a strong word and well, my feelings are strong. she is sooo mean to me!! she doesnt like abuse me but the things she says really hurt. she always calls me fat (im 14 5'2 and 97 lbs.) and maybe thats fat but i dont think she needs to remind me of it every single day. i cant have friends over because she is sooo rude to everyone. i cant talk to my dad about it because he doesnt want to deal with it and i cant talk to her because she doesnt care. how can i ignore it? and pleaseeee dont say to talk to my dad. i really dont know what to do anymore.

thanks

First of all, you're NOT fat. You should be around 110 lbs, actually.So disregard what she says because she's having some insecurity problems of her own.

I'm kind of in the same situation everyday as you are. My dad is basically submissive to my mom who is not understanding, narrow minded, stubborn, and just a paranoid control freak. I can barely say what I believe in or my ideas, even if it's ajoke, because I'll get yelled at. So I can't talk to my dad because he'll say my mom's right, or else he'd get yelled at by my mom, I know. Screwed up. I can't talk to her because she' the "supreme ruler of the world that is always right and shouldn't be questioned."

I'm not going to tell you to sit down with your stepmom and discuss this because I would hate to get that advice. And not trying to bring your hopes down, but it's probably not going to work. What I am going to tell you to do is completely ignore every rude remarks she says to you. Consider it as her way of showing how inexperienced she is with the world and how insecure she is in herself. Other than that, there are two ways you can go from there:

1)Suck up to her and be a little angel so you won't be grounded and what not. Or
2)Ignore her, blow her off, and just majorly disrespect her. But, I must warn you that this choice will get you grounded and when I did, I regretted it.
So I suggest you suck up to her and pretend like everything is fine. But have someone random to talk it about to, like me =) Because what you say to your friends, will get to your stepmom. And you rebeling against her will get you no where but house arrest by your dad/stepmom.

Sorry the reply was so long but if you ever need to vent, I'm here to read =) Contact info is on my page if you need to just cuss about her.

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all of a sudden my kitten doesnt want to eat. like she doesnt want to eat her food at all. what should i do?. how can i make her est? and what are cats favorite foods that they cant resist.

Is you kitten new to your family?
Maybe it's nervousness.
I know that my dog, who's been with us for 5 years, would NOT eat out of his bowl for his life. I think part of the problem was that we spoiled him with the food we ate, therefore he didn't want to eat his and just mooch off of us when the family was eating a meal.

Basically, my dog is VERY jealous so if any one of my family members say that we're gonna eat his food, he guards the bowl for his life and won't budge. We just do that for 3min straight and he'll get tired of just guarding and start eating.

Another thing was we just dumped the food onto the floor and out of his bowl and he ate...so maybe part of the problem with your kitten is that she is afraid of her bowl? We switched my dog's metal bowl to a plastic one so it has no reflecting shine thing or have it make clanking noises when he tries to eat [from his collar banging on it].

If all else fails, try different food brands, but make sure they're healthy, renown food brands. You don't want to be feeing your kitten chicken feathers. If she continues to not eat, feed her canned kitty food or just some pet friendly foods from your house meanwhile you schedule an appt with a vet.

Good lucks to you and your kitten =]

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How bad is it to cheat? I mean we always hear about it being the lowest of low, but I have friends who've had sex with other people and their boyfriends forgave them. Is it really all that big of a deal? My boyfriend is in Europe with some attractive girls that are always crushing on him, I've pretty much accepted the fact that he might cheat because I know how flirty he can get without realizing it. How bad would it be if I cheated, just kissing or so? I would like to know, so I'll be prepared to react in the right manner if anything happens by either of us.

Thanks.

The view differs from people to people. Some people might not care and some people care. Some people are in b/w and some go to the extremes [emotionally]

I personally don't think cheating is the best thing. I mean if the other person cheats, there's no reason for you to cheat--just break up with the other person and go kiss other people so there's not cheating for you. But basically, I think cheating is a horrible thing to do to your partner and vice versa. It's not worth it if you really love your partner and if you do cheat, you don't deserve your partner.

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my friend is wanting to run away and commit suicide. she was abused with drugs and is planning to kill herself by them. i am suicideal she stopped me when i tried to kill myself now im stopping her but i cant other than tell her how much ill miss her and everything but if she dies ill die right after because i cant live without her. she stopped me by doing that once and another time from cutting grabbing the knife from me and stopping the bleeding i love her. i realize all id miss but i still am suicideal. i will not go to anyone for this only our friends know and one of our friends will be with her all the time. whoever is when she is trying to run will run away with her but not let her kill herself. she was abused by drugs and physically she went from family to family all when she was very young and were 13 now. i need to help her only by our friends. if i was her id be dead by now. are we right for doing this? how else do i help her? i will not get anyone else involved its what she wants but well stopp her if not ill be with her always.

I know you said you don't want to go to anyone else but your friends but think about this: It's better to lose a friendship/trust than the friend herself.

You need to talk to someone right away. Look up phone numbers for suicide hotlines. You need help and she needs help.

Other than that, you need to keep her by yourself 24/7. Make sure she understands that you need her and that even if she kills herself, there's not gonna be any difference other than misery for her friends. If she dies, she won't be able to laugh or be happy and she won't be able to do things that are unbelievably amazing. Make her promise you that she'll stay alive as long as you're alive. If she dies, she's going to involuntarily kill you, too. And if she truly cares about you, she'll promise. Make sure she knows that she's an important part of your life and she saved you from death and if she dies, you're going to fail and feel guilty because you're going to feel like you killed her.

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I would really love to become an advice columnist, no matter how crazy that sounds. I know lots of young hopefuls would like to be one as well but you know.
I'm just not sure how I would become one, would I need to take a course in something or what, any ideas?

If you're in highschool, join the newspaper/yearbook club. Take mass media or communications. Pay attention in English.

If graduated, take courses about newspaper.

Right now--you can start, if you haven't already, giving advice out on this site!

And no it doesn't sound crazy...why would we? We're advice columnists to this site =]

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I'm a vegetarian while the rest of my family eats meat. I need some different recipes for things I can make, but I'm trying to cut down on carbs. Can anyone help me?

Hmmm, same situation with me. I'm the only vegetarian out of my entire family and friends [except one friend. She's a vegetarian, too.]

-Boiled eggs [limit to egg whites if you want]
-Cheese ravioli
-Cream of Mushroom soup
-Mac & Cheese
-Cereal
-PB & J from Smuckers [try to limit as PB is bad]
-Low fat yogurt
-Veggie bites
-Spinach nuggest
-Boca Vegan patties [or anything from their brand]
-Vegetarian patties
-Fruits & Veggies

Just make sure that when you're going to try new foods, read the ingredients! They might have chicken/beef broth, gelatin [animal fat], and things like that in there--like Pop Tarts frosting, cup noodles, Cheerios cereal bar, etc. If you want more advice, inbox me =)

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Ok Well it's my grad this year but one day I was weairng a top to track and field and got tanned SO BAD! (Yeah I couldn't find a dolly site but thsi is the closest I could find in google, sorry. I coloured it, the red is supposed to be brown).

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r155/wind_miko/body.jpg

How can I remove the tanned spots?! I tried exfoliating. I'm not sure about the lemon thing though, does it really work?

I odn't want to tan the rest of my body because it's unhealthy and it'll look really bad (if it isn't bad enough already), see how bad I'll look at my grad in a dress with that?!

Way delayed answer?
What helps me [and it really helps me] is to put thin slices of cucumber on the tanned spot. Switch it when it gets warm with a new cold one.
If all fails, go get a tan.

And don't listen to the columnist below me--it's very bad for you to peel your skin...

And about the lemon juice--don't do it. It's acidic and even if you wash it off very well, when you go out in the sun, it will tan that little spot with the lemon juice on more than the rest of your body--it just makes it worse

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oh god here it goes.
Well me and my boyfreind were just looking up what will happen if he cums in my butt when we have sex. And
1) it told us if you cum really deep in your ass will get bigger casue of the testorioin in his cum.
He tells me like Oh My god your butt is getting bigger i swear. I don't know if were like imagining it getting bigger casue we think thats whats spost to happen or is it acually getting bigger?
AND
2) We also read that You CAN get pregnant when he does that.. Witch i thought was weired. Is that true? AnD
3) the last time we did it it was on my period but it was still in my butt. It was like my last day on it. but yeah Again we read when your on your period you STILL can get pregnant. Is THAT true?

I don't know someone please help me?

1)Guys will say anything to get in your pants. No.
2)Very unlikely
3)Again, very unlikely unless his semen traveled to your vagina opening

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me and my best friend love eachother. everyone is trying to get us together as in dateing. but i want to but im just scared. im never scared to do anything. and im never scared to talk to guys or even the ones i like im not afraid to make a fool of myself i do what i want when i want im never afraid to do anything. but im just afraid to loose him again. we tried dating before but it fell apart and we grew apart but were bestfriends again. we love eachother but im afraid to loose my bestfriend again. but i wana go out with him. we said if we would go out wed never loose being bestfriends. id die with out him. i wana date him but then i dont wana loose him like last time. what do i do so we dont break up? or so we stay friends? or so im not as afraid? can you list the pros and cons please. help me this is the only bad part about your best friend being a guy. to marrow is the last day or school and i need help by 6am or its over my life is over.

I know what you mean. I'm in/been in the smae situation.

Pros:
You're going out
You're trying something new
You're giving your relationship to grow into a stronger, more important one.

Cons:
If you guys break up...
Friendship may not be as strong as before
Heartache

If you guys already went out and got back to being best friends, it shows that there's going to be another chance for you guys to get back to being bffs if you guys do go out again. But the chances get slimmer each time. I think that before you guys officially agree to go out, talk with him. Tell him what you're worried about but that you really like him but you don't want to risk the friendship. Ask him if you guys will alwasy be able to be comfortable with each other and remain bffs even if you guys break up.

Good luck!

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is every guy that shallow? to wear they only like the girl for there looks, do any guys look at the girl for who she is, and now how she dressses, how her hair style is, or how much chest she has? thx so much, rather a guys opinion

While there are many guys that are shallow as to want to get with a girl only for her looks, there are more guys out there that actually care about who the girl is rather than appearances. You may not believe it now but once you look, you'll realize it.

At my school, I got bored and did a survey on guys. Appearances or personality? Well, personality won. About 30% said appearance and about 70% said personality.

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theres this person i dont really know if i can call her a freind now because for some reason i have no idea why ... i just stopped likeing her :S its the most embarrasing shit ever but the story goes a little like this:

her parents are going to move to austraila and she has to go (i live some were far away from there but as my name says i like to stay annon-ymous in case anyone i know reads this) so, as you can tell i was upset. Its now been about 3 months and while the sad feelings for the news have worn off and now my feelings for our freindship have gone too. its gone from awesome freinds to dull, then to nothingness, now i just dont wonna see her hear her and i just dont like her has any one else had this? or heard of this? or is this my way of trying to not feel so bad about her nearing departure which now i think should come tommorow rather than 2 months away wtf has happend :S i dont like it but for some reason its done and i dont think i'm gonna change at least soon but that could be too late by the time i do

I know what you're talking about.

You're doing the exact same thing that I have done in the past--you're distancing yourself from someone you're close to in order to save all the pain it may cause. You don't want to see your friend go and you're afraid that if you let yourself or her get clsoer to you than she already is now, you're going to be hurt. You feel like you have to distance yourself from her so that when she leaves, you won't feel anything bad.

The truth is, you need to break that barrier. Get yourself to enjoy the remaining time with her because if you don't do it now, you're not likely going to get a second chance and you WILL regret distancing yourself from her. Because after she leaves, you're going to realize that what you've done was stupid and regret it a whole lot. Just spend more time with her and enjoy it while it lasts

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Okay so my one friend keeps telling me that my other friends ( who doesn'treally get along with me anyway ) is calling me a whore behind my back. My one friend is standing up for me but she says that my other friend is saying that im a whore because my boyfriend of 7 months and i make out during movies - i understand yeah maybe she doesn't want to see it but the thing is his dad hates me and we can NEVER see each other and thats pretty much the only time i can do that with him its getting really hard ! i just want to know if i really am a whore for this or is she just being lsfijsdlf ?

First of all--this girl calling you a whore is not your friend.
Second thing is, you need to go up to this girl and tell her straightout "If you have a problem with me, say it to me right now. You don't have to go around calling me a whore."

Lastly--you're not a whore. More than 80% of teen couples do that during movies. Your friend's just uber jealous

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Ok well I don't get what chastised means.

I looked in the dictionary and it says to discipline and to criticize severely. Then it says to punish as in beating.

=/ I don't get what it means..

It's basically a harsher form of punishing someone or something.

Chastise= higher degree of punishing, scolding, etc.

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im 17/f. for the past 8 months or so i have had a huge problem with eating and eating and i feel like i have no control and i cant stop then i make myself throw up. i make myself throw up after eating a ton at least once or twice a day. im tired of it. i am 5'4 and 123 pounds and i want to lose weight, but i want to do it the healthy way. please help me. how do i get over this? i dont want my parents finding out so please dont say have them take me to someone. i just want a website that can help me get over it or a hotline to call or ANYTHING. please help me

Go to

something-fishy.org

they have information about bulimia, anorexia, compulsive eating disorders and hotlines to get help. Once you read all the information on bulimia, it should trigger something in you to make you back down from continuing this habit.

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Are you supposed to wear a condom when you have a blow job?

If you want to, yes. If you don't, no.

You can NOT get pregnant from oral sex, by the way.

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16/f

i have found out reacently that i like girls.. but i dont really know ho to come out.. and when i do how do i get a grilfriend.. ?

Well, first, before you make a impulsive decision to come out, think about it. Do you like girls and boys or just girls or is this just hormones? Don't come out for at least 6 months from now. Is it truly that you like girls or is it just hormones?

If you just like girls, you're a lesbian. If you like girls and guys, you're bi. And obviously, if you like boys, you're straight.

As to coming out--it's probably going to be hard. You're going to get a lot of harsh criticisms and rude remarks. A lot of people these days are homophobic [I personally am not]. Just be aware that you're going to face some discrimination when you do come out.

First tell your best friend---your closest friend you can trust. If she/he is fine with it, keep it that way for a while. If not, you might want to hold on for a while. My friend came out by making out with a girl at a party >.> Personally, I think it'd be much easier to come out by going out/making out.kissing with a girl [or a guy if you're a guy coming out] instead of having to say it to people. You can't exactly plan these things and you've got to let nature take its course because eventually, there will be a perfect time to come out.

Also--a tip if you ever decide to come out--get a good network of nonstraight friends! They'll always be there to support you, okay?

As to getting a girlfriend--you'll get one eventually.

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i miss my cousin alot. we went to a family reunion today. i dont see her that much. but today she just left and went with the guys cousins. she wore heavy black makeup and creepy dark clothes. shed rather go play football and other stuff then be with me. she is older than me by a few years. i got her phone and was going through it and it was all guys and 2 girls calls numbers and texts. and her music was all dead and screaming stuff. her 'best friend' came and instead of saying hi they just huged then started kissing ewww sick. she always wears arm things with holes. then he pushed it down and it was all scares and he said shes getting better? better from what? could it be a car accident or something bad? she says she hates amos whats a amo? why does she hate them? who are they? i dont think she knows i exsist anymore we used to be best friends i thought. is best friend some kind of code word? is something wrong with her? or anything? how do i get her back? at the end she said 'i saw you watching us what did you see if you tell anyone ill die'. i know she would shed do something like that. what do i do? by myself.

First of all, you should respect her decisions to wear what she wants and what she wants to listen to. If she likes it, she likes it. You shouldn't be the one to criticize.

And she probably has a lot of guy friends rather than girls. I know that I'm the same way--I have like 2 girl friends and the rest are guys--they're much easier to get along with.

About the cuts--she cuts herself. The scars are from cutting and by saying that she's getting better, she's cutting herself less and/or less severely.

And about the "amos" I think she meant "emos" That's a label and I'm not going to get into that.

She's probably going through a stage and something's going on that's pretty bad at her house. Let it be and let her get through that stage. You have to understand that people change so don't try to keep her as the same person you last remember and want her to be. Don't criticize her and don't be rude to her [I mean calling her creepy and psycho is a little harsh].

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