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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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I am only 10going on 11and I have the worries and stress of an average teen! First off we are NOT poor! My mom is a doctor and my dad is a pharmacist. They don't have to pay for childcare cause my dad works when my is off.i have literally clothes that would be considered " babyish" for a 7 year old. I have very little clothes. Please don't think I'm a spoiled brat who is complaining when she doesn't get what she wants. In 2nd grade rumors were going around because if my clothes.everybody expet for my 2 friends looked at me like a was a monster. This has been going on scince then, but I try to ignore it. I am willing to pay for it from my own $but my mom says I have enough clothes. Am I crazy for wanting more clothes??am I ungrateful? According to my mom I am. HELP???
First: you are not a teenager, you are ten very much still a young adolescent child.
Second: even though mom and dad work at very good professions they may not be as rich as you think they are. You are not poor but you may not be rich either. Your parents most likely maintain what is known as a comfortable income.
Third: at your age I would say you are going into fifth or sixth grade. This would be the last year of elementary school or the first year of middle school in the area I live in.
Mom should be buying you age appropriate clothing. This means it should be like the other children are wearing but does not or should not be designer label clothes. Designer label clothing is expensive, given how fast children your age grow out of their clothing it is inappropriate to spend money on a label when a lookalike store label is just a good; and of better value. Mom can buy you more for less. This includes shoes which children go through or can go through several sizes in a year at your age.
You are about to enter puberty if you are not already in puberty. Your body is going to start changing dramatically very soon. When it does your clothing needs will change quickly and often. What would you rather have; one or two designer label outfits you can wear school or half a dozen store brand lookalikes you can mix and match.
My advice is to slow down; you are rushing to be something you are not old enough to be. If you are being teased in school because of your clothes then ask a teacher to speak to mom.
If you're being teased because your clothes are not designer label but are lookalikes then the problem is on the spoiled brats in your school whose parents are indulging them with clothing they really do not need. Their clothes are really only to impress their parents friend in how well they can clothe their children.
I don't expect you to understand those last few lines. What it means is those children's parents are showing off for their parents friends. You may be counting money in your parents pocketbook that may not be there. So make sure you have a problem before you complain.
Okay my ex is going to jail and he got's coustdy of are kids but he is going to jail for a while so I want to get custdy of my kids but I don't know how to go about it cause his mom is a bitch and a evil person so what do I do
Not knowing the why or how your Ex was given custody of your children. The only thing I can recommend is to see a lawyer and explain the situation to the lawyer.
Most likely you will have to make a petition through the courts to social services for custody. Since your husband has custody, I am assuming it is full custody and not joint custody. He at the moment could be allowed to designate guardians for the children while he is in jail.
Depending on the reason he was granted custody of the children you may have the right to fight for custody at this time over his appointing of a guardian. This is something only a lawyer can tell you once he/or she has a full understanding of the situation.
I really don't know what's wrong with my mom. She won't let me shave because she said that "you can barely see it on my skin" which all my friends tell me they do. And I want to shave so I can wear skirts and strapless tops!
Also my mom won't let me wear makeup! EVERYONE at school does! She said that " I don't need it, plus I'm in 7th grade" but I know I'm pretty and don't need it but I dont even want as much makeup as everyone. I just want colored lipgloss and eyeliner because my eyelashes are already long. How can I convince my mom to let me wear makeup. (my dad already approves)
First do not try to pit mom against dad. As a parent I can tell you the loser in that situation is always going to be the child. On this you will just have to trust me as I am old enough to be your grandfather and have been around the block in these situations more than a few times.
Just when to allow a young girl to shave her arm pits and wear makeup is one of the hardest decisions we as parents have to make. Most of the time we base our decisions on our own experiences. Meaning when did our parents allow us to do these things.
Here again I'm older now and a bit wiser than when my children are or when they were your age. So I can offer them some advice on raising their children. Ultimately in the end it is their decision as to what to allow their children and when.
As for shaving I would say that once a girl enters puberty it is time to teach her how to shave her arm pits and allow her to do so. If you are growing hair in your arm pits you have entered puberty even if you have not yet gotten a period.
Times have changed greatly since mom was your age and so has the style of clothing you wear today. Some of the clothing you wear today she had to be older before it was in style for her to wear.
Do you see the argument I am making for you to have with mom. It is not really an argument that you should have but a discussion. Moms are busier today then her mom was when she was your age. As much as mom may think she is totally aware of what goes on in your world I just do not think it is possible if she is a working mom.
The one thing you do not what to do is to say, "all my friends are allowed to do so." That will get you an age old reply that goes something like this: "Just because Jane jumps off the bridge does not me you have to so as well."
My suggestion is you sit down calmly with your mother and discuss what is most important. I would think that would be shaving your arm pits. Save shaving anywhere else for another discussion. Bring up the points I made as they are, I believe good ones. Then move on to makeup.
I think you are fighting a losing battle on the eye makeup so try to settle for lip gloss. I think the right shade for someone your age is appropriate now as it will help define your natural beauty. More importantly you are in puberty and it is important to protect you lips in the more humidified air of todays schools. Not all schools were air conditions or air conditioned as well as the newer schools we have today. It is hard to argue against protecting your lips from chapping because of the air conditioning in school.
Good luck and let me know how you make out with mom. Just remember to stay calm and discus not argue or scream.
apparently my mom still tries to treat me like im still in high school even though im 24 almost 25 which is not a teenager and i inderstand how stupid high school kids seem to act as in listening to stupid music watching stupid and corny movies and go to stupid drinking parties and yes i understand people in their early 20s still act that way but i do not nor did i ever and im sick of her saying that teenagers are my age group when theyre most likely not so anyway how can you end it and be aware of it please help
I don't believe the problem is you; the problem most likely is mom. For one thing it is hard for some parents to stop parenting. Now by that I mean we as parents never truly stop parenting. What I mean is the simple fact that we are a generation older says we are wiser and more mature then our children by age alone. We have experienced things our children have yet to experience. When they do they should be able to turn to us for advise and assistance. This is part of parenting too.
The first part of being a parent should stop somewhere, hopefully between a child's 18th and 22nd birthday when they hopefully are ready and able to leave the nest and stand on their own two feet. This is what the first part of parenting is all about. Preparing our children to be adults. Teaching them right from wrong and how to live in our society.
If I am reading what you have written correctly this is were your problem with your mother is at this point. She has not learned to switch for lets call it initial parenting to maintenance parenting. This is unfortunate but not rare, their are a lot of parents like her.
If you live at home, which is unfortunately the case for many young adults your age. You mom may see that her initial parenting is not over since you are not yet ready to stand on your own to feet. She does not realize or does not want to realize that the economy of today and the job market it has caused is more the blame then you not being ready. Many parents also feel if you live under my roof you are subject to my rules and my call it interventions.
Not knowing just what your situation is it is hard to offer exact advice. You are an adult, for reasons of just why your mother is not seeing that I truly can't say. If you are living in her house you need to find someplace of your own even if it is a shared apartment with a friend. Doing this takes mom out of your day to day life. It does not mean she won't continue to say what she is saying.
It just may mean you must take the bull by the horns and tell your mother something like the following. "Mom I am and adult." "I'm s5 years old and you have raised me well." "I know how to pick my friend and I do not appreciate being treated like I am in high school." "I have things I like to do, see, watch, eat and drink and friends I like to be with."
If sex is any part of her nagging. You can also throw in that at 25; you are old enough to have a sex life if you want one. Your sex life is not something you're going to discuss with her.
If you wish to write me with more detailed information on what is happening between you and your mother. Whether or not you live at home with a little more detail of your problems. I may be able to offer you better advice.
Remember this one thing of what I have written. Some parents find it very hare to switch between initial parenting to maintenance parenting. If this is the real problem between you then you need to find away to help mom make the switch.
13-f
I was at a waterpark today with my friend -one girl, one guy-and I jokingly pointed out a cute boy that was standing by two other guys.. so my -guy- friend went over and said, 'Dude, she likes you.' ... and his friends laughed and said, 'THAT girl??!' and they did that dumb 'gag' hand gesture where they point down thier throat and pretent to throw up. The worst part was, I think, was the fact that I later found out one of the guys was the son of my dad's co-worker/best-friend... it just lowered my self esteem even more later on, when I was getting out of a pool and they started splashing me with a lot of water and yelling at me.. so I kinda lost it and flipped them off and hid in the restroom--more info-- im a middle schooler, blonde, very skinny, and short short hair.. and I have depression. :( so I guess the question is, how do I deal with this? I haven't had a boyfriend for almost two years, but every time my friend trys to set me up, she ends up with the guy, and every time one of my guy friends trys to, they come back saying guys thought I was.. ugly.
Do not take anything a 13 year old boy says or does seriously. At this age boys are more macho about things when in reality they are quite scared of things such as girls and dating.
If they don't know you and I mean really know you like being in classes with you or they are one of your neighbors. Rather than turn down an offer to meet you it is better for their image to put you down. Hence what you saw with the "dumb hand gag gesture." As far as I'm concerned it is his loss.
You can tell a lot about a person from how they right. Your writing tells me you are a bright, mature 13 year old. Someone who is probably more mature than her age. In my book this makes you a very beautiful person.
Remember one thing about beauty; it is only skin deep. Real beauty lies just below the skin and you have loads of that kind of beauty which is the real beauty of a person. You are also just 13. Your body is just beginning to change and will continue to do so for at least the next 5 years or more.
You say you have depression. I would hope you are receiving treatment for this. If so this is something you should be talking to your therapist about. You should not be putting yourself down over what one girl scared stupid boy gestured.
I don't know you and I would never blow smoke up anyone skirts as it is wrong and hurtful to do so. This is not our purpose here. I told you I see a bright, articulate young lady in the way you have written to us. This in and of itself says that you are a beautiful person. You need to believe me when I say this for if you do; that is what will shine through. If you think you are ugly then that is what shines through.
You dear are far from ugly. I have been doing this for a long time and I can tell ugly from beautiful in how someone articulates themselves. You are a beautiful person and never forget that.
I have a talc powder which has its use before date written as 08/13 (MM/YY). Should I use it up before 1/08/13 or before 31/08/13 ?
What that date means is that the contents of that talc are best used before the expiration date which would be after August/13.
The Talc does not suddenly go bad the morning of 9/1/13. What the manufacturer is saying is that the material used will be at it very best until then end of August and them start to deteriorate and the full effects of the Talc will not be had. It is also a date that stores should pull this product off the shelves and not sell it.
It is just like milk which may be stamped best sold by 8/1/13. The milk is still good for four or five days afterwards if kept refrigerated. It does not go sour on 8/2.
This date is the manufacturer's way of telling you if not completely used by this date you may not receive the full benefits of this Talc after that date. I would assume this is some type of medicated Talc for that to be true.
So I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, I live in the U.S. and he lives in Australia. We have yet to meet up, because of money issues.
Today he tells me he has to tell me something and then proceeds to tell me he was caught masturbating in someones backyard. He was questioned by the police and has to go to a hearing in a few weeks.
I honestly thought he was joking, but he assured me that he isn't. I'm in shock, I don't understand why he'd do something like that. I asked him why and he said he's not really sure. I can't wrap my head around this, I'm in disbelief. I feel sick to my stomach, but I'm also worried he could potentially go to jail or something.
What brings a guy to do something like that??
I can think of only one good reason, and the reason itself is not a good one or legal one, to masturbate in someone's back yard. That reason would be that your boyfriend was spying on someone, probably a women or young child as they undressed in the privacy of their home. This would make him a Peeping Tom something I'm positive he would not want to tell you about.
There is the outside possibility that your boyfriend is a thrill seeker and masturbated in this backyard to see if he could do so without getting caught. There are people who like to have sex in areas or in public where getting caught is possible. They do so for the excitement. My best guess though is he was spying on someone. If so he very well may go to jail and depending on the laws in his country could be labeled a sex criminal.
Not knowing the laws in his country. If this hearing he is going to is a court of law and he is convicted of a sex crime he will never be allowed entry into this country and many others. People convicted of sex crimes, regardless of the type, are never granted entry into this country.
The only suggestion I can make, based on what you have written is that you may wish to reevaluate your relationship with him. Long distance relationships rarely workout to begin with. Now you have the possibility of him not ever being granted permission to visit you hear in the USA or ever living here. This could be a game changer for you and reason for you to rethink this relationship.
Im 16 a girl i love porn :/ n i love to masturbate is it bad a girl my age to masturbate
Let me sum up or put in the proper perspective the 4 preceding answers.
First masturbation is normal. According to a survey conducted recently 85% of us masturbate. This includes adults and teenagers. Masturbation is a safe and easy way to relieve sexual tension. For a female masturbation allows for the relief of sexual tension without the worry of pregnancy. Masturbation is like foreplay and allows her to learn about her sexuality, her likes and dislikes.
About 80% of women are vaginal in what they find as stimulations. The other 20% are clitoral, meaning then need their clitoris stimulated during foreplay to be turned on. Masturbation allows a women to learn this about herself.
I don't know why in this day an age parents tell their children it is wrong to masturbate when in fact they should encourage it. The only reason I can think of is parents forget what it is like to be a teenager and still believe masturbation leads to sexual intercourse. When in fact masturbation delays the need for sexual intercourse by satisfying the sexual urges all teenagers have.
The only problem with porn is realizing what you watch is fantasy. It is designed to be titillating to satisfy different sexual urges and fetishes. The people who think it is wrong think so for a variety of reasons. For the most part it is my believe that they are hypocrites as when they were younger they or most of them viewed porn. Now for a variety of reasons they want to do away with it.
In short just relax, you are a normal 16 year old girl.
I want to change my style from hot teen to young mom but don't want to wear things that screams old or anything like that. I know about the heels ( never wore them anyways ) and the shirts and earings and my hair but I mean on what the clothes look like themselves like the style. I don't know how to describe my style before I was pregnant but when I pictured wearing it while taking my son out as a 1 year old I looked like I was babysitting my younger brother and look 16. Doesn't help how I'm really short too (4'9"). Sorry for ranting I'm just not sure what to do.
You have a real problem clothing wise. If you try to wear clothes that make you look older people are bound to say things that are not only not true but most likely hurtful. The same is true if you continue to dress in age appropriate clothes for your age. You don't say if you are married or single. If you are married then the answer to your clothing problem becomes quite easy; you dress to please you husband; when appropriate. By that I mean outside of work, if you are a working mom.
If you are not married then you need to try and bridge the gap between what is age appropriate, appropriate for office wear, and for someone raising a child. This does not mean you need to look frumpy. It means hemlines should be a little longer, mini-skirts are not appropriate. Blouses and Polo shirts should fit properly not to tight and not to loose. Clothes should be clean and properly pressed. Jeans are still appropriate at the right time and place just as long as they are clean, not torn and patched. Dresses can be age appropriate with a little adjustments for hem line and fit.
Being a parent does not mean you need to dress frumpy. Clean age appropriate clothes purchased at prices you can afford is where you start to build you wardrobe. A simple adjustment of your hemline to insure modesty and proper fitting of you clothing so that you're not advertising sexy should be enough to send the message you want to send. Even with a longer hem line and proper fitting cloths if you are dating you can still look and feel sexy with simple adjustments and accessories.
Most important is the fact that your son is first and foremost. Forget what other people think. If you are properly caring for your son that is what counts. If you are married then how you dress is really between you and your husband for he is the one you need to dress for as well as yourself.
I'm at that age now that I learned a long time ago not to worry what others thought. I only needed to be a better person tomorrow than the one I am today. The only person I need to impress is my wife and myself. These rules have stood me well. I'm retired now and using those rules have been successful for me both at work and in my private life.
The only people you have to be concerned about are your son, yourself and a husband. This is the nucleus of your immediate family. What others say or think is really none of your concern; just as long as you are caring for your nuclear family.
I am a 49 year old woman. My question is concerning my mother and my 53 year old brother. My dad passed away 17 years ago. I was married at the time, my oldest brother, I will call him Fred, lived with my parents. Fred is an alcoholic and a chronic marijuana smoker. My mom interfered when my dad attempted to make a man out of him. She has always been immensely partial to her sons. My other brother is married with 5 kids. I think marrying at a young age and having a large family is what saved him from eternal childhood, unlike Fred. Recently, I have had to move in with my mom due to financial difficulties. Fred doesn't work at the time and does, virtually nothing all day. I work part time while waiting on a full time job. I help as much as I can financially and try to help around the house. My mother doesn't expect anything from Fred. She criticizes me often, cutting me down, her favorite thing to do is make me feel guilty about my divorce. She makes no attempt to hide that she can't wait until I get out of her house. She and Fred often talk in her bedroom, closing the door and talking quietly so no one can hear. I know they are not incestuous, but theirs is a very sick relationship. I feel when I have the financial means to get out of her house, I will not return here ever again, not even for a visit. My other brother, literally hates Fred. He feels Fred is mooching off our mother, I feel she asked for it. She has cloistered him and her in this little sick world since my dad died and she wants no one else in it. Hopefully soon, I will grant her her wish. Is it in my best interest to totally disengage myself from my mother when I move out?
I will not say it is unusual for a parent or parents to favor one child over another, though your story seem to go to the extreme.
Is it in your best interest to totally disengage yourself from your mother when you move out? That is a very hard question for any of us to answer. Your question is also not quite that simple as in the additional information you talk about what to with Fred when your mother passes.
This question is a bit easier to answer. Fred is family and at my advanced age, I'm retired now, I would have to say to some extent we need to help family to what extent we are physically and financially able to if they are unable to care for themselves. With Fred the problem is not that simple.
Fred is able to care for himself but refuses. You and your other sibling(s) need to discuss what you would be willing to do when the time comes. I would suggest you prepare a safety net where you provide the basics, a roof over his head, food and medical as needed. You give him a time limit to become self supporting or he will have to go on welfare. You and your siblings should tell him and your mother this now. Tell her that her enabling him is not helping him and that while you will not let him flounder in the event of her death your first responsibility is to your own spouses and children.
As to your original question. I do not have an answer to give you. This is something you have to decide for yourself. I will tell you this, I had to make that decision with me and my father about ten years ago. I did decide to cut him from my life after he made some very nasty comments to my wife. He and I never spoke again even up to when he past away. I am comfortable with that decision. You have to decide for yourself if first you have the reason to cut you mother from your life and then if you will be comfortable with doing so.
My friend and I is 13, and we girls. She once got sexually abused by her brother in law, but eventually it got sorted out, he then started again, and then it got sorted out, but now I have a feeling he's started. She used to tell me everything but now she's become so quiet and doesn't want to tell anyone what's wrong. I know that if I ask her she'll say no so I just wanted to ask what are some signs that a 13 year old girl is getting sexually abused?
She cuts herself, has tried killing herself and is bulimic If that helps.
Those things you listed sound like some of the signs one might see in someone who is being abuse or has been abused in the past. As far as I know there is no statute of limitation on child abuse. If her brother in-law is abusing her he is a pedophile, a criminal who needs to be reported to the police. If he is abusing your friend he may be abusing other young girls as well.
One thing he cannot claim is that your friend or any other girl he has abused has consented to sex with him as girls your friends age are under the legal age of consent. Therefore they cannot legally consent to sex and he knows this or he should as all adult know this.
Your friend probably feels helpless as this is not the first time this has happened to her by him. By sorting it out I assume the family tried and has failed to stop him rather than report him to the police as they should have, They probably believe him telling them she came on to him. It would not matter if it were true, he cannot have sex with a minor it is illegal.
There are several things you can do. The first is to talk with your parents and tell them what you have been told by her. You and your parents can then go to the police and tell them what you have been told by your friend. They will investigate and make an arrest him if they can prove what you have told them.
All it takes is your friends and her family being honest with the police. At the very least child protective services will get involved and she will have someone to protect her if her brother in-law is not scared of by the police investigation.
You may go to the police on your own. It would be better if accompanied by an adult though if for some reason you cannot bring a parent with you, if say this is you we are talking about. Then please go to the police or call 911. As I said the brother in-law is a pedophile. If he is doing this to one girl he is probably doing it to others. All it takes is one victim, yes your friend or you are a victim, to be strong enough to bring charges and the other victims, if any, will come forward.
So if we are talking about you go to the police or call 9111. If this is a friend you or you and your parents can go to the police and you should encourage her to go to the police. Tell her regardless of what her family may be telling her, she is the victim here and this is how the police will see it. The law is there to protect her. She should take advantage of it. You or she does not have to put up with being abused.
How do you know if a 13 year old girl is bulimic? She told me she is but I'm not sure if she's lying or not because she isn't losing weight. So what's signs/sympotoms is there that she is bulimic?
People with eating disorders like bulimia don't always show outward signs of the disorder at first. With bulimia the signs to look for are usually hidden; done behind closed doors in the bathroom where they purge after binging.
Bulimia is a very serious and can be a deadly eating disorder if not caught early and properly treated. I would suggest since this friend has confided in you that at the very least you discuss this with you parents so that they may inform her parents. I realize you would be breaking her confidence in doing so but ask yourself this question. Is it not better to have a friend who is alive and possible mad at you at the moment rather than attending that persons funeral sometime in the near future if she is not properly treated. For that is the possible result if she is able to hide this long enough.
Below is a link to a website that will give you some more information on signs and symptoms of bulimia. as you will see the outward appearance of these signs are hard to detect.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/bulimia_signs_symptoms_causes_treatment.htm
ive been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and he isn't a virgin but i am. and i wanted to know that he really loves me and he didn't just want to get in my pants so i decided not to give it up to him in the beginning. now we're at 10 months and i feel like sometimes i wanna give it up to him and sometimes i don't because im scared that im gonna regret it. my real problem is that im scared that he's gonna leave me or have sex with someone else because hes waited so long without having sex
This is the type of question I receive many times. Basically what you are asking is? "Should I have sex with my boyfriend to prove my love for him?"
The answer to that question is a definite no. Sex is not away you prove your love for someone. If your boyfriend in anyway telling you that you need to have sex with him to prove you love for him. He is not in love with you, he lusts for you. This is typical of young males. They confuse love and lust. They believe lust to be the same as love. They do not define love as you do.
You're 16 years old and still a virgin, good for you. This says you have not given in to peer pressure or young boys to have sex just for the sake of having sex. You say, "my real problem is that im scared that he's gonna leave me or have sex with someone else because hes waited so long without having sex."
What this tells me is he is pressuring you to have sex with him. This is wrong and sexual harassment. Once you say no the matter is closed. To continue to pressure you is a crime. Yes it is a crime regardless of his age. The fact that you fear he will have sex with someone else or even leave you tells me you are not sure of his love for you.
To have sex with him to keep him with you is the same as a married couple having a baby hoping it will keep their marriage together. It rarely does. My advice is to tell him his constant pressuring you for sex is sexual harassment and illegal. If he does not stop two things will happen. First you will no longer see him and. If you stay together as a couple you will let him know when you are ready to have sex with him. If you want to put a scare into him you can tell him his continued harassment to have sex could force you or your parents to report him to the police as he is committing a crime.
If he does leave you then you will know his only interest in you was to get into your pants. Sorry for being crude but a fact is a fact. Boys your age a hard wired to find sexual relief. They want to have sex rather than masturbate. There is even a game boys play where they score points for every girl they have sex with. virgins get them more points.
I cannot tell you what to do only to advice you as to what I think is best to do. You have waited this long another year or two until your an adult and entitled to a sex life I believe is worth waiting for. Then find a man who will respect you as person and a women. Then you will have found a real love.
Hi.. Well this might be not a question you would hear everyday.. I dont think my other question posted.. But anyway.. I have cut/Self Harm for a year now.. I really want to stop.. Its just hurting my family and friends too much.. :( can i get some tips to stop? Please dont judge.
I would never judge someone asking for help. People cut for a variety of reasons. The major cause of cutting is for stress release. In these instances the person who is cutting has so much stress upon them they cut to feel something even pain.
This stress has caused depression. Depression of itself cause more pain. Pain causes depression it is a vicious circle. To bring and end to this we have to first find the cause of the stress itself. Usually this stress is caused by some type of physical or mental trauma that we have buried so deep we have trouble remembering or we just try to block it out. Just what that trauma may be is a list so long it would be impossible to list them. It could be the death of someone close or it could be you were molested as a child and your subconscious is trying to bring it out or anything in between.
I'm not a doctor or a psychiatrist so I really can't say. I can offer you a substitute for the cutting which should work for a while and I will. Most importantly you need professional intervention. This would be in the way of a Board Certified Psychiatrist to properly diagnose what type of depression you may be suffering from and offer any medication that will help you.
You are not crazy, most depression falls under clinical depression which is a hormone imbalance and more of a medical rather than a mental problem. The reason for seeing a Board Certified Psychiatrist is these hormones are secreted into the brain as part of going through puberty and the diagnoses is usually "Teenage Depression." A Board Certified Psychiatrist is better capable by training to diagnose and
medicate if need be then your family doctor."
You will also be asked to see a psychologist for talk therapy. The purpose here is to give you someone to speak with that will help you get to the root cause of the depression. The therapist is someone you can trust to tell your deepest secrets to as they go no further than the therapists office as you have complete confidentiality. Whatever you say does not get back to your parent your anyone else.
Until you see the doctors try this instead od cutting. Find a big thick rubber band and let it hang loosely from around your wrist. When you feel like cutting snap the rubber band against your wrist. You should get the same feeling of relief as you do from cutting. Best of all you do not have to run and hide to do this as you can do this anywhere the need arises.
I am a 33yo female with a fiancee (38) and a baby girl (10 mos). Because of financial problems that my fiancee incurred after a loss of a job (for three years) and a baby, we begrudgingly decided to move into my almost in-law's house for a year to try to recover and start our lives over. His mother is old school Russian. Never leaves the house. Goes to and from the store, etc. Her husband takes care of most stuff and she takes care of the house. She works three days a week and takes care of our baby by choice. I try to get home as quickly as possible to relieve her, but I take a Tuesday night writing class as an outlet for myself and I see a therapist once every two weeks. Over the last month, we have tried to co-exist peacefully. Just recently we were informed that his mother is feeling the burden of us living with her. The last three weekends, I did ALL of the cleaning. Not to mention, their house is excruciatingly unorganized. This weekend I visited family and took the baby with me the entire time. She is mad that I didn't clean her messes, after her cat (that pees in the closets) and said to her son that she "just can't do it all". When he offered to take our baby for the day, she said no. In other words, I feel like she thinks I am her maid. I understand I have obligations, but this is ridiculous. I work 40 hrs a week, hardly get to see my baby and now she is mad that I didn't stay home to clean her house. I contribute to much of the cleaning. I have no idea what to say to her because it wouldn't be anything nice if she approaches me with the subject. I am trying to remain her friend.
This is not a situation you can negotiate a peaceful solution too. There are as I see it, being of Russian heritage myself that, many things she may be upset with.
First and foremost is that you and her son have not married yet. To older Russians this is a big red flag considering you two have had a child. She sees herself with an illegitimate grandchild another red flag to the older Russians.
Even though you are working and I assume contributing to the upkeep of yourself, your child and your future husband as well as helping him reduce his debt. If she is old school Russian she sees little or any of this.
Most old school Russian women stayed home and raised their families. You're working as well as your future husband, if I am reading what you wrote correctly. She is once again staying home, as she sees it raising and caring for your child.
I'm reading a lot into what you have written though as I said I am of Russian heritage. My grandmother was born in Russia. She never worked outside of the home. On Monday morning my grandfather would ask how much money they needed that week then went out and earned that amount or more. Working all seven days of the week if he had too. This is not that long ago just two generations.
As I see it your future mother in-law is playing the martyr, this is not something you can fix. I know this because my own mother played the role very well. The best thing you can do is to first get married as soon as possible. It doesn't have to be a big wedding. Getting married at the courthouse is just as married as having a big wedding which you probably can't afford anyway. Plus you saved the money you will need to move out of your future mother in-laws home which is the best resolution to this current problem.
Once you are out of her home you can then be more in control of the relationship with you soon to be mother in-law. I had a great relationship with my mother in-law, unfortunately my wife had to dictate the relationship she had with my mother and the relationship my mother had with our children. This may just be the way things will be with you.
My mom had & blood clot & pneumonia twice & almost died like 2 years ago. She has diabetes & glaucoma. She can't get all of her medicine & every time she goes to the doctor they find something wrong with her. She's always coughing up mucus. Right now she just found out that she has a blocked artery in her neck & heart. I don't know if they are going to do something about her arteries. Can the doctors unblock her arteries?
While I am not a doctor and I cannot say for sure just what the doctors will do since there are a number of factors they will have to take into consideration. TO answer your question; yes doctors can open or un block an artery.
One of the concerns the doctors must take into consideration is if the can open the vein or artery without braking of any of the plaque or blood clot sending it to the brain which could cause a stroke.
If the concern is that they may not be able to do that. The doctors may elect to insure adequate blood flow to the brain by making sure the veins on the opposite side of the neck remain open.
How they do that is by putting in something called a Stent in the vein. Which is the same thing they would have put in the side of the neck with the blocked artery or vein if it could be done safely. A Stent looks somewhat like the toy called a slinky.
The doctors place the Stent in the vein by entering the vein in another part of the body. This is usually done by an interventional-radiologist using a fluoroscope which is an x-ray machine. When they get to the area of the vein they want to open or keep open the deploy the Stent which opens and expands the vein.
The procedure itself is relatively easy for both the patient and the doctors. They use this procedure very often for people who have had heart attacks to open the blocked arteries rather than going right to open heart surgery. The procedure is done in what is called a cath. lab and the patient is awake but sedated.
Just what the doctors will do for your mom is going to be based on what the doctors feel is best for mom based on moms condition. You cannot force the doctors to do a procedure they feel is not needed or life threatening.
My advice is to ask the doctors if a Stent is appropriate in you moms case then listen to their answer. If you or mom is unsure of their answer you have every right to a second opinion for which the insurance company in most states is obligated to pay for.
I hope this answers your question.
Hey y'all. I'm 20/f and I have been living with my boyfriend happily for 2 years. I am incredibly attracted to him sexually and would never ever cheat on him. There are some nights that I will have sex dreams about him while he's sleeping right next to me.
But, last night and the night before I had dreams about 2 of my coworkers-one of whom is incredibly attractive (but I am not actually attracted to) and the other has an incredible gentle personality, but I would never pursue. At work, I spend most of my time with the two of them, so I guess it would make sense that they make an appearance in my dreams, but these dreams were both sexual. The first dream I had was with my kind, caring coworker. He confided in me about some dark things, which led to us kissing, which led to sex. When I woke up, I felt guilty and could barely look at my boyfriend. The second one (last night) was with the good-looking coworker. He snuck into my room while my boyfriend was in the shower, and just got on top of me without a single word. Both of these dreams are confusing and uninvited and make me feel like a horrible girlfriend. What do these dreams mean and what can I do to stop them?
Relax your normal. Your subconscious is taking a flight of fancy that you conscious mind would never do. We do a lot of things in our dreams we would never do in life. You could say are dreams allow us to experience things we would never allow us to experience or could never experience in the conscious world of reality.
Have you ever wanted to go hang gliding or bungee jumping but afraid to do so. You can do so in your dreams. You can even relieve some exciting event that could not in other ways be relieved.
There is nothing wrong here. These dreams mean nothing and certainly do not mean you love your boyfriend any less. I've been married to my wife for 42 years. When we married she told me I can look at the menu as much as I wanted. If I ever sampled or tried to reorder she would cut a very important appendage from me. In those 42 years I have never strayed in real life. In my dreams I have sampled from the menu many times. It does not mean I love my wife any less. In fact in 42 years my love for my wife has probably grown if that is possible.
As far as I'm concerned you are perfectly normal so stop beating yourself up over this.
Okay, I was talking to this teacher (I shall call him B). B and I were alone in his classroom talking - which is something we do quite frequently. Anyway, my friend walked in and later when I was speaking to her she commented on how there was 'a lot of tension between me and B when she came in' and that she felt very awkward walking in and as though she was interrupting something. I wasn't really sure what to think seeing as I didn't notice any tension between us (it's not something I'd ever really thought about).
But then since that day I've noticed that whenever someone (other teachers included) comes into the room when it's just me and him they always look awkward and quickly leave. Me and B will often look and them and each other awkwardly when that happens but other than that I feel things are normal around us.
I'm just not sure where all these people are getting the impression there is something between us from? Is he experiencing tension around me that other people pick up on? I don't know what he's usually like around other people so I can't judge if he treats me differently or not.
I don't know, this is all too confusing for me.
Unfortunately today for a male teacher to be alone in a classroom with a female student people immediately think the wrong thing. They immediately think there can be no reason a good looking young teacher would be alone in a classroom with a female student.
Of course you and he know that you were only talking and he may have been offering you advice on subject matter which would be appropriate. But other teachers would or may not see it this way especially if you two are together quite often.
This is why your friend picked up on some tension in the room. Most likely given off by him. It is unfortunate but given all that has been reported in the news recently people are going to think the worst rather than ask or see what is really happening between you two.
There is no good reason why a student and teacher cannot be friends even if they are of the opposite sex. Just bear in mind that today a teacher risks their job if this friendship is allowed to get to close even if it remains a non-sexual friendship.
Since you are somewhat clueless to the tension your conversations may be causing him. I would suggest you ask him about it. Not knowing what you two are talking about I can't say if you conversations are borderline or over the border to where he could be jeopardizing his job by having these conversations. While this may be all they are to you others may not and he may not know for sure just what your feeling are. It would help both of you to let him know you just really like talking to him.
I don't normally do this, but my family is so screwed up I wouldn't feel comfortable asking advice from people I know, so here goes.
All my life, I was a total daddy's girl. I worshiped him. I looked more like him than anyone in my family.
On my 12th birthday, my dad left my mom and I to go work as a producer in L.A. He would e-mail and call me on occasion, but after a few months he cut all communication with no explanation.
My mom did the best she could to raise me, but she spent a lot of time dating and not much time with me. I couldn't help but miss my dad.
I spent all of my time trying to get in touch with him. He's a pretty big name in the music industry, so while I could find his website and his twitter and his tour dates, actually getting in contact with him was next to impossible. One day, I contacted NBC since my dad was going to be on the Tonight Show that week. I told them my story and sure enough, a few days later, I got an e-mail from my dad. He told me that he wasn't my biological dad and that he met my mom during a difficult time and was just trying to help. With that, he dismissed me from his life and left me totally lost.
When I confronted my mom with this, she told me she was raped. This shattered my perception of myself and landed me in therapy with suicidal thoughts-until I found out from a close family friend that my mom had lied. My biological dad was engaged to my mom and I had been planned. She lost her mind one day, left him, and planned to put me up for adoption. I guess when I was born, she couldn't bring herself to do that, but she tried to keep me a secret from my biological dad.
Anyways, this isn't the story of how I found my father-in my eyes, my dad is the man who raised me. This is the story of my mother, who struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder. If you're unfamiliar with this illness, you're lucky. She lies constantly with no regards for others, but is so fragile you can't tell her the truth. How do I go on treating her with love and patience? She has ruined the life of everyone who loves her. I do my best, but it's getting harder every day. She risked the way I saw myself just to protect her lies. She has shattered my self-esteem and is doing the same now to my little siblings. How can I protect them?
There is so much her that I'm not sure where to start. First I think it is wonderful that you want to look out for your step-siblings. That in and of itself speak volumes for who you are as a young adult.
Finding your biological father is something you need to do for reasons other than just the need to know who he is and to try and have a relationship with him. It is very important today to know the medical history of both your parents. Am I correct in my understanding the your biological father and the man that raised you are two different people. If so speak with your grandparents or your mothers sisters and brothers, if any, to find out who your biological father is. It is just possible he would like to meet you too.
As for the abuse your siblings are receiving from your mother. Child abuse comes in all different forms. Is the level of abuse your siblings are getting rise to the level of abuse where you can take the children from her or the courts can place them in foster care. This is what has to happen in order to protect them from your mother.
To properly protect your siblings you would and should contact child protective services. If your mom is as unstable as you believe they will step in to protect the children. If your mother does in fact truly suffer from Personality Disorder then Child protective services will want her to get help for this before the children will or could be returned to her. You should also contact a lawyer to see what your rights are in this event.
Fortunately or unfortunately because of who and where my wife works I an more knowledgeable with this disorder than most. People who suffer from Personality Disorder are not fixed with medication or therapy. They can be managed and made aware of how to live with the disorder though it is not something that is ever cured.
This disorder is also one that is most often missed diagnosed. To be properly diagnosed and receive proper help with. Mom needs to see a Board Certified Psychiatrist. Only a Board Certified Psychiatrists are trained to properly diagnose and treat people afflicted with this disorder.
As to you ever having a "normal relationship" with your mother. Probably not; as this disorder is a lot like manic depression. she will have good days where you can have an almost normal relationship with her. Then there will be the bad days when, well you know what those says are like.
What you can never do is let her be unsupervised with your children until they our old enough to understand and care for themselves. This would be somewhere in their mid to late teens. You mom could never be a baby sister for you. Especially if she refuses to get continuing treatment for her problem.
So my twin sister is really scared of having a filling in a few days time.
We're 18. She's scared of the numbing part.
Like I have had my mouth numbed by injection six times before, she never has, and has had NO treatment.
I don't know how to reassure her, or explain what its like to have your mouth numbed. She's so scared!
Any advice is welcomed, I'm grateful for any :)
Most everyone has some fear of the dentist it is almost normal. If she is fearful of the shot it is understandable as the needle looks almost barbaric. If she fears the actual shot in her mouth because of the pain. There is topical numbing medication the doctor can use to make the shot less painful.
Then there is laughing gas the dentist can offer that will help your sister relax. I ask for this and it is wonderful. The gas last just as long as it is being administered. Once they turn it off they let you breath pure oxygen for a few minutes and the effects are gone and you can even drive yourself home.
I like the gas because it allows me to relax and almost enjoy the visit. Between the gas and the numbing medicine the visit is almost painless. Just have your sister talk with the dentist and let the dentist know of her fears. The dentist will do everything possible to make her comfortable.