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friend getting abused
My friend and I is 13, and we girls. She once got sexually abused by her brother in law, but eventually it got sorted out, he then started again, and then it got sorted out, but now I have a feeling he's started. She used to tell me everything but now she's become so quiet and doesn't want to tell anyone what's wrong. I know that if I ask her she'll say no so I just wanted to ask what are some signs that a 13 year old girl is getting sexually abused?
She cuts herself, has tried killing herself and is bulimic If that helps.
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When she's cutting herself and attempting suicide, there is something wrong.
How did it get sorted out?
You need to tell an adult before it gets worse. They'll figure out what to do and where to go from there. You're a good friend for worrying about her but you need to tell somebody because you don't want to lose your friend.
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Those things you listed sound like some of the signs one might see in someone who is being abuse or has been abused in the past. As far as I know there is no statute of limitation on child abuse. If her brother in-law is abusing her he is a pedophile, a criminal who needs to be reported to the police. If he is abusing your friend he may be abusing other young girls as well.
One thing he cannot claim is that your friend or any other girl he has abused has consented to sex with him as girls your friends age are under the legal age of consent. Therefore they cannot legally consent to sex and he knows this or he should as all adult know this.
Your friend probably feels helpless as this is not the first time this has happened to her by him. By sorting it out I assume the family tried and has failed to stop him rather than report him to the police as they should have, They probably believe him telling them she came on to him. It would not matter if it were true, he cannot have sex with a minor it is illegal.
There are several things you can do. The first is to talk with your parents and tell them what you have been told by her. You and your parents can then go to the police and tell them what you have been told by your friend. They will investigate and make an arrest him if they can prove what you have told them.
All it takes is your friends and her family being honest with the police. At the very least child protective services will get involved and she will have someone to protect her if her brother in-law is not scared of by the police investigation.
You may go to the police on your own. It would be better if accompanied by an adult though if for some reason you cannot bring a parent with you, if say this is you we are talking about. Then please go to the police or call 911. As I said the brother in-law is a pedophile. If he is doing this to one girl he is probably doing it to others. All it takes is one victim, yes your friend or you are a victim, to be strong enough to bring charges and the other victims, if any, will come forward.
So if we are talking about you go to the police or call 9111. If this is a friend you or you and your parents can go to the police and you should encourage her to go to the police. Tell her regardless of what her family may be telling her, she is the victim here and this is how the police will see it. The law is there to protect her. She should take advantage of it. You or she does not have to put up with being abused.
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Pass the info along confidentially or anonymously in the form of a note even to a teacher or counselor or approach an adult who can be trusted with what you know. Let them then tackle it. The right thing to do is alert someone to the concern as icky info like this is not meant to be kept. Your friend may be upset at first however in the end you may be saving her.
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