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Tension between me and my teacher?


Question Posted Sunday July 28 2013, 12:47 pm

Okay, I was talking to this teacher (I shall call him B). B and I were alone in his classroom talking - which is something we do quite frequently. Anyway, my friend walked in and later when I was speaking to her she commented on how there was 'a lot of tension between me and B when she came in' and that she felt very awkward walking in and as though she was interrupting something. I wasn't really sure what to think seeing as I didn't notice any tension between us (it's not something I'd ever really thought about).

But then since that day I've noticed that whenever someone (other teachers included) comes into the room when it's just me and him they always look awkward and quickly leave. Me and B will often look and them and each other awkwardly when that happens but other than that I feel things are normal around us.

I'm just not sure where all these people are getting the impression there is something between us from? Is he experiencing tension around me that other people pick up on? I don't know what he's usually like around other people so I can't judge if he treats me differently or not.

I don't know, this is all too confusing for me.


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adviceman49 answered Monday July 29 2013, 12:58 pm:
Unfortunately today for a male teacher to be alone in a classroom with a female student people immediately think the wrong thing. They immediately think there can be no reason a good looking young teacher would be alone in a classroom with a female student.

Of course you and he know that you were only talking and he may have been offering you advice on subject matter which would be appropriate. But other teachers would or may not see it this way especially if you two are together quite often.

This is why your friend picked up on some tension in the room. Most likely given off by him. It is unfortunate but given all that has been reported in the news recently people are going to think the worst rather than ask or see what is really happening between you two.

There is no good reason why a student and teacher cannot be friends even if they are of the opposite sex. Just bear in mind that today a teacher risks their job if this friendship is allowed to get to close even if it remains a non-sexual friendship.

Since you are somewhat clueless to the tension your conversations may be causing him. I would suggest you ask him about it. Not knowing what you two are talking about I can't say if you conversations are borderline or over the border to where he could be jeopardizing his job by having these conversations. While this may be all they are to you others may not and he may not know for sure just what your feeling are. It would help both of you to let him know you just really like talking to him.

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kittenlover2000 answered Monday July 29 2013, 11:29 am:
I agree with Zane.
The thing is, once you have the disturbing thought about your teacher possibly liking you, its really hard to shake off.
You never said how old you were, but I always like to be honest in my answers. I honestly do not see what a teacher, who is in quite a well paid job, what they would see in a girl of 17 and below. They have PLENTY of other ladies to pick from.

I wouldn't read into it. I know you're young, and all the hormones will be getting you excited and things, but seriously forget about it. If he hasn't acted on his feelings then its waste of time thinking about it.

It seems pretty normal to me anyway, and as you progress up your school career, the older you get the more likely you are to be friends with your teachers-at uni you can eat lunch with them at times!

Also-isn't it the school holidays now? It is in most places, so why worry?

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Dragonflymagic answered Sunday July 28 2013, 11:26 pm:
There are so many rules to protect under legal age people. And some of them are not well defined. We know a teacher can't have sex with a minor, but there is less said about what is a harmless teacher student relationship and at what point the so called harmless relationship is in the same stages as those of the ones who made the news headlines for sex with a student. If it were a female teacher, I don't think you'd be getting as many strange looks.
What every single person is picking up on but some don't yet realize what they sense. .. is not a bad tension like angry at each other...they pick up on sexual tension or attraction...a chemistry if you want to call it that between a male and female, a pheremon connection. While you two may never do anything about it...realistically if everyone else is picking up on "something" between you two, then there is something there. One or two people can be mistaken but not every single person reacting the same way. If you and teacher feel awkward, when others look weirdly at each other, then ask yourself why....is it you fear what others are thinking, or because deep down, you feel what you are doing is starting to go further than it should have. If you have never seen the teacher spending time chatting in private with other kids, then he's playing favorites. Why? He is older than you so for intellectual friends, he would normally hang with those his age. Even in high school seniors have problems with hanging out and being friends with freshmen and sometimes sophomores...it's usually a maturity thing.
At this age there can be some who are more mature than others which could possibly be the case for you and why the teacher doesnt mind having a friendship with you.
But ask yourself this...if he is of marrying age, shouldn't he be dating a woman or married, and if he was, why would he need so much communication with a student he connects with?
It could be that things are not normal in his personal life...for whatever reason, causing him to place so much attention on one student.
Even if it is innocent and you make it through high school without any problems, once you're 18, if he's still single, you better check him out closely because his behavior is not normal. Teachers would be spending time with other teachers for fellowship. Its one thing to help with a lesson and its another to daily chat whenever you can squeeze in a moment to do so. Thats how a dating couple or engaged couple who are in love with each act. They can stand being apart and enjoy talking and do whatever they can to be together, whatever excuse they can find.

If you were watching this going on with lets say your best friend and she has no more time for you cus she's always hanging out with a male teacher, what would you be thinking? So far, you're not breaking any laws and neither is he but in the eyes of all of us who have read way too many news stories of the like, it looks fishy to everyone else. Only you can know if it is normal and innocent or whether you are choosin to ignore your or his feelings if there area any carin for each other, love feelings.

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Xui answered Sunday July 28 2013, 4:46 pm:
I think you may reading too much into this.

Maybe they did think they were interrupting? Maybe they wonder why you were by yourself in the classroom.

You didn't gi into much detail to why but is it possible maybe you could study with a friend? Oerhaps the talking may be giving people the wrong impression?.. Nowadays people seem to jump to conclusions easily.

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