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My boyfriend was caught masturbating in public...
So I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, I live in the U.S. and he lives in Australia. We have yet to meet up, because of money issues.
Today he tells me he has to tell me something and then proceeds to tell me he was caught masturbating in someones backyard. He was questioned by the police and has to go to a hearing in a few weeks.
I honestly thought he was joking, but he assured me that he isn't. I'm in shock, I don't understand why he'd do something like that. I asked him why and he said he's not really sure. I can't wrap my head around this, I'm in disbelief. I feel sick to my stomach, but I'm also worried he could potentially go to jail or something.
What brings a guy to do something like that??
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I can think of only one good reason, and the reason itself is not a good one or legal one, to masturbate in someone's back yard. That reason would be that your boyfriend was spying on someone, probably a women or young child as they undressed in the privacy of their home. This would make him a Peeping Tom something I'm positive he would not want to tell you about.
There is the outside possibility that your boyfriend is a thrill seeker and masturbated in this backyard to see if he could do so without getting caught. There are people who like to have sex in areas or in public where getting caught is possible. They do so for the excitement. My best guess though is he was spying on someone. If so he very well may go to jail and depending on the laws in his country could be labeled a sex criminal.
Not knowing the laws in his country. If this hearing he is going to is a court of law and he is convicted of a sex crime he will never be allowed entry into this country and many others. People convicted of sex crimes, regardless of the type, are never granted entry into this country.
The only suggestion I can make, based on what you have written is that you may wish to reevaluate your relationship with him. Long distance relationships rarely workout to begin with. Now you have the possibility of him not ever being granted permission to visit you hear in the USA or ever living here. This could be a game changer for you and reason for you to rethink this relationship.
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Break it off and date someone closer. Even if this didn't look like a trainwreck in progress that would be the suggestion.
Different zip code is easy. Different county is irritating. Different national boundary is insane unless you're ridiculously rich or an adult who flies to other countries regularly for business or you're actively planning for one of you to move into the other's country within the year.
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This is two kinds of weird.
The first kind of weird is - assuming that this is true - is that he did this and can offer no explanation for why he was masturbating in someone's backyard AND why he was CAUGHT.
A normal person might masturbate outside I suppose, but why at some other person's place, and why in such in a way that either someone who was not okay with witnessing this, saw it, and called the police.
That's really weird. The BEST possible truth is that he had really, really poor judgement.
The WORST possible truth is that he was actually motivated by a very creepy and abusive sexual interest (either the desire to caught or get watched... or any number of other things which he is not being honest about.)
The second kind of weird is that he TOLD YOU THIS.
You are in the US. You've never actually met him. You probably don't know any of his friends or family, so why the hell did he tell you about this?
The BEST possible truth is that he is a honest to the point of pure stupidity.
The WORST possible truth is that he has some some sexual interests he'd like you know about, and rather than be honest with you, he has decided to tell you this horrible story as a way to 'test the waters' with you and see how open you'll be to his sexual interests.
Honestly, I don't think it would be wise to assume the best in this situation. I normally advise people to trust their partners, but in this case you'd have to be plainly stupid to take this information, and his totally lack of explanation for it, at face value.
Something else is likely going on here and he hasn't told you what it is.
This is not someone I'd recommend continuing on with. If this is true, it's a shows a lack of judgement that is seriously concerning. If it's not true, it's shows a willingness to manipulate and lie that is not acceptable.
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How well do you know him exactly? Have you met him in person before?... Unfortunately, He may of revealed a whole nother ball game here.
Does he masturbate in his neighbors yard for a particular reason? Does his neighbor have children?..
he is a bit of a creep. 1, He can't give a valid explanation to why he did it, 2, He just willingly told you? Not many people just get caught masturbating in public... Perhaps you don't know him as well as you think you do.
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