|
Am I really that ugly...?
13-f
I was at a waterpark today with my friend -one girl, one guy-and I jokingly pointed out a cute boy that was standing by two other guys.. so my -guy- friend went over and said, 'Dude, she likes you.' ... and his friends laughed and said, 'THAT girl??!' and they did that dumb 'gag' hand gesture where they point down thier throat and pretent to throw up. The worst part was, I think, was the fact that I later found out one of the guys was the son of my dad's co-worker/best-friend... it just lowered my self esteem even more later on, when I was getting out of a pool and they started splashing me with a lot of water and yelling at me.. so I kinda lost it and flipped them off and hid in the restroom--more info-- im a middle schooler, blonde, very skinny, and short short hair.. and I have depression. :( so I guess the question is, how do I deal with this? I haven't had a boyfriend for almost two years, but every time my friend trys to set me up, she ends up with the guy, and every time one of my guy friends trys to, they come back saying guys thought I was.. ugly.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You're not ugly. You're 13 years old and these boys are around your age correct? They are so immature at this age. That's why it's not good to date at a young age because the relationships don't last and boys don't take anything seriously.
Stop having your friends try to set you up. You don't need that right now. You need to focus on you and how you feel about yourself, not what other people think.
You'll see this when you get older. You'll see that not everything is about looks, or at least it shouldn't be. You'll find a guy who likes you for you, not because of how you look. There are girls who are considered gorgeous who can't get a good guy because they are brats and there are girls who are considered not that attractive who have the happiest relationships.
So work on your self-esteem and don't take what other people say too seriously.
]
I never seen you before but I know you are far from ugly . God already used his paintbrush on you , no need to change the art. Your only thirteen , you shouldn't be dating . You should be building up that confidence! Lets say you do get into a relationship and the guy ends up breaking your heart , you will feel more depressed than you feel now. I think you should learn to love yourself before you go loving anyone else. If your skinny and blonde ROCK that skinny blonde hair girl look and love it at the same time. Your not in this world to please others , not everyone is going to like you and not everyone is going to find you attractive. What matters is that you find YOU attractive. Have fun , enjoy your youth . No need to rush into dating any guy.
]
Do not take anything a 13 year old boy says or does seriously. At this age boys are more macho about things when in reality they are quite scared of things such as girls and dating.
If they don't know you and I mean really know you like being in classes with you or they are one of your neighbors. Rather than turn down an offer to meet you it is better for their image to put you down. Hence what you saw with the "dumb hand gag gesture." As far as I'm concerned it is his loss.
You can tell a lot about a person from how they right. Your writing tells me you are a bright, mature 13 year old. Someone who is probably more mature than her age. In my book this makes you a very beautiful person.
Remember one thing about beauty; it is only skin deep. Real beauty lies just below the skin and you have loads of that kind of beauty which is the real beauty of a person. You are also just 13. Your body is just beginning to change and will continue to do so for at least the next 5 years or more.
You say you have depression. I would hope you are receiving treatment for this. If so this is something you should be talking to your therapist about. You should not be putting yourself down over what one girl scared stupid boy gestured.
I don't know you and I would never blow smoke up anyone skirts as it is wrong and hurtful to do so. This is not our purpose here. I told you I see a bright, articulate young lady in the way you have written to us. This in and of itself says that you are a beautiful person. You need to believe me when I say this for if you do; that is what will shine through. If you think you are ugly then that is what shines through.
You dear are far from ugly. I have been doing this for a long time and I can tell ugly from beautiful in how someone articulates themselves. You are a beautiful person and never forget that.
]
At 13 and even older, thru highschool, teens have a lot of growing up to do. Their bodies mature and finish growing before their minds do at our mid 20's. So thats' why so many teens are immature and say and do hurtful things.
No one is ugly. What Hollywood portrays is all fake...just makeup job to make average plain looking people look like the few lucky to have good looks. Look up Celebrities without makeup on line and you'll see what I mean. Beauty is really up to each individual as to what catches their eye. For example, I like brunette men with long hair. It doesnt mean that a blond or redhead man with short hair or shaved head is ugly....in fact I realize they can be pretty handsome and sexy too...it's just what I naturally like. Teens need to learn what they like and don;t like in looks, behavior, morals and beliefs etc etc of the opposite sex. You dont date to BE with someone, you date to learn more about the person, whether they are a good and healthy match for you. If the relationship is unbalanced, abusive, or nothing in common and no romantic spark, then its the wrong one...you drop it, break up and move on to the next. You will experience that often.
You need to have inner confidence...that speaks louder than words or looks. Think about what your favorite feature is about you. The shape of your lips, your eyes, etc...and think of a young girl star,teen star who has the same or similar features...and imagine yourself as being that celebrity teen when you enter a room. I don't know how it works with teens but I read it somewhere and used it when I was divorced and dating. I imagined my eyes as being like those of an older actress Sophia Loren. Where ever I went for months guys and gals were telling me what beautiful eyes I had. I was actually shocked it worked so well. Its worth a try. Good luck dear. Don't pay mind to what comes out of the mouths of the immature.
]
Sweetie your 13, Unfortunately this is how it is nowadays.
Kids and young teens are hypocritical about everything. They are rude, obnoxious and disrespectful.
You are not ugly, There is nothing wrong with you. Stop and think for a minute, How were they acting? Very immature.
If people treat you this way then it's time to find new friends. These people have growing up too do, Be the bigger person and walk away. Not worth it
]
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But if you don't think you're beautiful and learn to love yourself soon, how can you expect the others to do the same?
The problem with questions such as this is its easy for people to sit here and say 'I'm sure your pretty, you sound it on the inside etc'.
What really needs to happen is you need to build up your self esteem.
Those guys may not like you, but not there are other guys out there that would prefer you over their friends.
It depends on things like how you carry yourself. Tall and proud? Or is it obvious that you're unhappy with your looks, especially as you say you noticed their opinion, so look for it?
It can be hard when things like this happen, but its all about being confident in yourself. You don't just win another date on looks alone...
I think you need to learn how to cope with low self esteem. Once you've done that, THEN focus on attracting potential dates etc. They are two different issues, but you can't with a pen if it has no ink in it.
Focus on YOU. What makes you happy, and how to improve your confidence by not comparing yourself to your peers. With high self esteem and confidence, you can do anything. Get a job, partner etc.
So really learn how to cope with self esteem issues is what determines whether one is a success or not. Every teen experiences self esteem issues, that's normal. But learn to cope and you learn to succeed.
]
More Questions: |