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He isn't a virgin, but I am...
ive been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and he isn't a virgin but i am. and i wanted to know that he really loves me and he didn't just want to get in my pants so i decided not to give it up to him in the beginning. now we're at 10 months and i feel like sometimes i wanna give it up to him and sometimes i don't because im scared that im gonna regret it. my real problem is that im scared that he's gonna leave me or have sex with someone else because hes waited so long without having sex
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Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
Well you're not ready and you know you aren't. I mean if you're scared you're going to regret it, then you know it's not the right time. When you're ready, you'll know and you won't be scared or think about regrets.
Guys can live without having sex. So if he left you because you weren't giving it to him, then he is a really bad choice of a guy. Relationships don't work without trust. You don't trust him. You want to be with someone you know won't leave you or have sex with someone else. You don't have faith in him that he wouldn't do something like that.
So I think that is a big issue.
Wait until you are ready to have sex, not because you think he might leave if you don't give it to him. You won't enjoy it that way.
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if you feel like you are going to regret it then do not do it. and if he does have sex with another girl because you aren't ready well then he doesn't really love you. don't have sex with him because you feel like you have to just to keep him. that isn't love ,he will wait for you when YOU are ready.
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You're not emotionally ready.
Adults meet someone, get to know them, and once they feel like they know them they make the decision as to whether or not this is a person they want to be intimate with.
You can't predict the future. Can't know if he'll cheat or leave you. You're 16. The chances of you spending your life with him are probably less than 1%.
Would you regret him being your first if you did break up? If the answer is yes, you are not ready.
To be honest, I just don't think that you yourself are ready. I think that if you were it's entirely possible that he could be a decent choice to start with.
How much do you talk to him? I'm at the start of a new relationship myself right now. Our time scale is a bit different than yours, but basically we have not yet slept together and are planning to fairly soon, and we've discussed... pretty much everything about it, honestly. From the responsible topics like birth control to the fun topics like "anything in particular you like?" we've had a pretty decent amount of conversation about it.
Talk to your boyfriend. Raise your concerns. Look him in the eye when you speak and see how he reacts. Communicate more and you'll be able to figure things out better.
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I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 8 months and he isn't a virgin and I am. Relationships isn't about sex . You have to have that confidence of him not cheating on you. If he says he loves you , than he loves you. He should never pressure you either. My boyfriend always tells me its not about sex . We actually have dry sex , sounds funny but you can try that. If he does leave , he's missing out . Dont do it until you are really sure ! You have tour whole entire life ahead of you to do it . Be confident and he isn't doing a good job of making you feel confident if your feeling this way. Dont feel insecure.
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Being in a relationship isn't about the sex. You don't have to have sex if you don't want to. If you that type who wants to keep the v-card until "the one" that's totally fine too. If he's stubborn enough to take it to the next base when you don't want to, I would probably leave him.
So, if you don't wanna lose it to him, just tell him no. No means no! If he really loves you, he would respect you, your body, and your decisions.
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This is the type of question I receive many times. Basically what you are asking is? "Should I have sex with my boyfriend to prove my love for him?"
The answer to that question is a definite no. Sex is not away you prove your love for someone. If your boyfriend in anyway telling you that you need to have sex with him to prove you love for him. He is not in love with you, he lusts for you. This is typical of young males. They confuse love and lust. They believe lust to be the same as love. They do not define love as you do.
You're 16 years old and still a virgin, good for you. This says you have not given in to peer pressure or young boys to have sex just for the sake of having sex. You say, "my real problem is that im scared that he's gonna leave me or have sex with someone else because hes waited so long without having sex."
What this tells me is he is pressuring you to have sex with him. This is wrong and sexual harassment. Once you say no the matter is closed. To continue to pressure you is a crime. Yes it is a crime regardless of his age. The fact that you fear he will have sex with someone else or even leave you tells me you are not sure of his love for you.
To have sex with him to keep him with you is the same as a married couple having a baby hoping it will keep their marriage together. It rarely does. My advice is to tell him his constant pressuring you for sex is sexual harassment and illegal. If he does not stop two things will happen. First you will no longer see him and. If you stay together as a couple you will let him know when you are ready to have sex with him. If you want to put a scare into him you can tell him his continued harassment to have sex could force you or your parents to report him to the police as he is committing a crime.
If he does leave you then you will know his only interest in you was to get into your pants. Sorry for being crude but a fact is a fact. Boys your age a hard wired to find sexual relief. They want to have sex rather than masturbate. There is even a game boys play where they score points for every girl they have sex with. virgins get them more points.
I cannot tell you what to do only to advice you as to what I think is best to do. You have waited this long another year or two until your an adult and entitled to a sex life I believe is worth waiting for. Then find a man who will respect you as person and a women. Then you will have found a real love.
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Someething tells me that is you can't even capitalize your i's,you shouldn't have sex. But honestly, if he's had sex before, he probably gave that last girl the same talk and then dumped her.Trust me, save it for the wedding night.
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Key word is: SCARED. If you are scared about regretting this later than DON'T act. You will soon learn by waiting if he genuinely cares about you or is in it for just instant gratification.
Your best to wait and be sure you are with the right person. I know you don't want to lose him but if he's in it for one thing he's not the right guy. If all sins point to him being genuine he wouldn't dream of pressuring you about it. Tell him you aren't ready yet and gauge his reaction. Most guys will care if someone isn't ready and it's okay not to be.
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