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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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I liked this guy and then we hooked up yesterday but it was mt first kiss. Now i dont think i like him anymore and i didnt like the kiss. Could i be lesbian or something and just dont know it because ive never experienced any of it? Im 16 female
You may like what you see on the outside. We can appreciate looking at beautiful breath taking vista's without feeling a sexual attraction. It's kinda like the fanciest prettiest professionally wrapped Christmas gift you ever got. You really like or love the wrapping. Is it a guarantee that you will still like what is inside?
Same with people dear.
Now, I will have to guess what you meant by 'like'. You probably saw him on Tinder or some app that younger folks are using, I'm in my late 50s. I did use a dating site to find my 2nd husband. So I do understand the things it can stand for. On a dating app, clicking like, usually means you are attracted to a person by looks alone. I have read what Tinder and other apps are about, its mostly set up to be a photo with very little info about the person.
Lets see how far off I am, you can write again if I am wrong and clarify so I can give you the best advice still.
So I am guessing you clicked that you liked how he looked and he did the same back. Now comes the hook up part. People today mean I got together with casually, or got together for sex. I wont assume since there was only a kiss that more wasn't hoped for on both your parts. So you meet up with him and he's so hot looking that you are really hoping for a kiss from him. You haven't done anything more yet but if you meet a hot looking guy, you just might. So he kisses you and all that you imagined a kiss could be, could feel like from what friends told you or from movies, romance stories, it doesn't come close. It lacked that passion and tingle and heart flipping stuff.It might have been even worse than not feeling anything, you may even have felt disgusted as if someone you are not sexually attracted to, like a dad or brother or someone like that kissing you passionately, yes that would feel gross and wrong. I am straight and i have kissed men on a date and felt that and knew they were the wrong one for me.
See, what I've learned during my life is that something called pheromones is responsible for the 'hooking up' or sexual attraction to someone. I just call it having chemistry. If you've had chemistry in school, you know that some things mix well together and other things you don't dare mix together or it can be dangerous. Having chemistry or pheromones the same or similar means the pheromones mix well. They're invisible so how can you tell if you have compatible pheromones?
The kiss. That's the first sign and you usually don't have to go any further than the kiss to have an inkling wether it would work out.
The fact you didn't like the kiss with him was most likely because the two of you do not make a good match pheremone wise. But before you think theres a quick fix, there isnt. We can't change the pheromones our bodies emit any more than we can change how tall we are or the color of our eyes (without artificial means).
If you were lesbian, you would pretty much suspect that already and it wouldnt be because of reaction to his kiss. If you were truly lesbian and not bi, you would get sexually aroused, attracted to and feel desire for females only. A bi woman will have several scenerios. Either shes single and dates both men and women as well as sex, or she has just one male who is her husband and has one or many lesbian partners. Men are more accepting and not as jealous when it comes to their woman loving of them but also women. Its not as threatening as the other person being another male. Since you were looking at guys and not females, I am fairly sure you at this point in your life are attracted to males not females.
Lets looks for example at something different, what gender a person is. Little children not in school yet and who do not have hormones of puberty yet to rely on to help them know whether they are male or female. They just follow what they are attracted by or most interested in. If a 4 yr old male child wants to wear dresses like sister and play with dolls, no one had to tell him he was transgender. I feel to a good extent you can have a pretty good idea of where you are currently at sexually and know what you are attracted to without having experienced it before.
Who we are sexually in our teens when we are just newly embarked on our sexual journey is one that will last a lifetime. Who I was at 16 did not resemble who I was sexually at 20 or 36, 46 or now 58 because I have continued to learn and grow and experience more things sexually depending on who my partners were, and other surrounding circumstances. You will change too. Perhaps in the future, you just may meet that one female you fall in love with but you are also in love with a boyfriend or a husband and you are bi. Or some people marry and have kids and later in life decided that they had just buried the truth about how they've always felt and just wanted to fit in and not stick out so they went along with what they felt would most resemble a society normal? But the thing is, practically any kind of realation;ship these days is considered normal.
I wouldn't worry about being able to label yourself now for anything other than just now. What you identify with sexually in the future, can be defined in the future. So try dating guys for now. If you feel the same way after dating just guys, then might be the time to try a female the next time .
I'm a 33 year old female, I'm 5'8 average built, and I think I'm a cute person. I don't have self esteem issues, I look in the mirror and think of myself as cute. But no guys ever approach me that I'm even remotely interested in. It's always guys old enough to be my father, which completely grosses me out. Don't get me wrong, there's lots of older attractive men out there... I for one rather not date someone in their 60's... Ten years older than me is my limit. And that's usually who approaches me, or weirdo looking guys, I wouldn't dare go out with. I keep my make up nice and simple, I'm kinda a perfectionist when it comes to beauty, so my hair is always neat... I'm a cocktail waitress, and writer... So I see guys on the regular, at work.. Stores etc etc... Yet no one that I'm even at all attracted to approaches me. And let me put it out there, I'm not one of those females with imaginary high standards. You don't have to be the most handsome or rich dude out there... I just prefer someone I have some attraction to. Please don't suggest online dating... I've tried it... From the paid sites, to the free ones... No luck, I've only been approached by weirdos, old guys, dudes who were already in a relationship, or guys looking for a meal ticket, guys only wanting hookups... The first and only date I had... Which wasn't technically a date at all... We met at Starbucks, and I had to buy my own coffee... Let's just say we never talked again.... I can go on and on... But I won't, lol online dating is no longer an option for me... Yet I feel like without it I have no chance... I understand whomever is reading this doesn't know me personally... So you can't give the most accurate advice... But any little can help... I'm just so tired of being alone, I want love so bad it hurts...
I understand not being thrilled with internet dating. When I did, a great majority of the guys who wrote had an opening line about how hot or sexy I looked. I came across many liars, guys with anger problems and since my ex was verbally abusive, I came across two who were like that too, once directed at me, other at his maid.However the good news is that I found my second husband thru a dating site. This was a free dating site. In fact I just asked him which other sites he used if any were for pay. He checked out Match.com in case you haven't tried but says from statistics he has read, that E Harmony has the higher ratings, just in case you decide in the future to try again.
As Adviceman said, the content of whats written in your profile may be attracting the wrong sort.
And of those who wrote to me, 95% were undesirables to me but there were also that small percent of good guys. I used the internet more as a tool to come to know of someones existance and then wrote, talked by phone but if promising sounding, I would meet in public at a coffee shop and we always bought our own drinks.
The big plus about on line dating if used properly, is that it cuts down on the hunting for a needle in a haystack deal, and tho the only good guys I was learning about were maybe 5%, it was faster than and less disapointing than for me to go to a singles meetup. Some of the dating sites planned an actual in person meet up for your geographic region, or there are other singles events you can attend regarding a favorite pastime or hobby and meet with someone who had the same. It was too tedious to meet in person.
Just so you'll know I really do understand and have experienced the best and the worst of this situation, at one singles event, I was standing in this restaurant reserved for it, listening to some people do Kareoke when a cute guy comes to stand next to meet and introduce himself. He asked me a question or two but his 3rd question was about religion. He told me about his, one of the highly religious zealot types and I tried to answer tactfully when I said I used to attend church, am still a believer but also my eyes are open to accepting more out there that the Christian church doesn't. He asked for clarification and upon my answer he reacted in dramatic horror and exclaimed loud enough for many to hear, "Oh my, you're back-slidden, a heathen. Get away from me right now!" he shouted. At which point I pointed out, you are the one who approached me, not me you. So I am not leaving but you can." And he was leaving before I finished that sentence.
You won't believe how many times I tweaked what I wrote, basically as I stumbled across things in profile that worked better and those that didn't as much.
I got to your point, so disillusioned that I prayed and asked God what to do. I got an answer to make a list of what I was looking for in a guy and for it to be very detailed and see if God couldn't provide that to me. After a long rash of bad guys who initially sounded good, I cried out and said, God, I'll even take an alien who can mask as human looking. All I want is a man who will truly love me and want to remain as my companion the rest of my life.
It is this information I'd like to share with you and can drop and paste that document in here. You can use it with or without dating sites. And as adviceman said, it may be best to get a close friend who knows you well to sit with you and help set what goes into it, or write your list on paper or on your phone and save it and memorize the points you want to hit when talking to a guy and theres' no reason to wait for a guy to approach you in person out and about.
The reason guys don't approach you in public is because they aren't really sure how to approach a female. They don't know if a gal is single and thats too awkward to them. Lots of guys just like gals lack self confidence. More often than not, the hot guys with lady chasing tendencies have the confidence and will approach but a good majority of these just want sex, not a relationshiop. This I am sharing all from my own observations. Just keep in mind that though there are things I can state are pretty much an expected behavior, doesn't always stand. There are people who are exceptions to all of this so I was kind and gentle but firm, and I called the shots. That may be just what you need to meet a guy.
How to Find Mr. Right
First, how well do you know yourself? I used a dating site 2nd time around. It worked for me to find my true love. However, to fill out a profile for yourself, to really describe yourself, your personality and who you are at core, is hard to do, like writing about your work strengths in a resume. Just think of meeting prospective men as a mutual job interview where both are being screened for the job of being each others mate.
So this is just as important as a resume only more so. You can easily leave a job that doesnt work out. Its much harder with a boyfriend or husband. So its best to be able to describe yourself well for those few you meet who may be promising. They will have something specific they are looking for as well and need to be able to recognize the possibility that you may be the one for them. You'll need to create this list or bio on yourself before you can form the list of what you are looking for in a guy.
So, ask yourself what it is in life that lights you up, makes you not just happy but content and feeling fulfilled. Ask yourself what is or are the passions deep inside that push you to seek out certain hobbies, pastimes, certain people with the same? Remember that the guy needs to answer all the same things and it falls to you to prompt him and ask.
I'll give you an example. One of the things that make me passionate about certain things in life is that I am a nurturing person deep at core. This nurturing desire needs to be expressed and has been through several different avenues. For one, being a mother and raising my kids, now grandkids, loving planting and tending a garden, and yes, giving advice in an advice column. All of these things require a person driven by nurture, such as my wanting to be of help to you, to see you break free of whatever is holding you back in life or keeping you unhappy.
Once you have defined yourself with some really good descriptive words or scenerios, you will be drawing on this list to make a list of criteria of what is most important in a guy.
If you need help with the list of yourself, please just ask me and I will help.
Now, for the list of what you feel is Mr. Right for you.
Actually, there will be two lists. A list of Must Haves, things which if missing are a deal breaker because they are that important to you. Do not let any guy tell you that your criteria is extremely unreasonable. I got that often. It means the guy can't meet your criteria, can't meet your 'Must Haves' and wants you to lower your standard for them and these guys don't give a crap about who you are and why these are your criteria. A deal breaker would be “I want a guy who wants to have kids” “I want a guy who isnt afraid to commit, settle down and marry” “I want a guy who is open minded spiritually and will allow me to believe whatever I do without trying to convert me to his belief” “I want a guy who never raises his voice to me and is able to calmly talk things out.” “I want a guy who isn't a smoker or recreational drug user”.
I for example am very allergic to cigarette smoke or the lingering odor of it. Guys who smoked met with me pretending at first that they didn't smoke. Sitting across a table at a restaurant first time, I couldn't pick up on smoke odor but when riding in their car on a later date it was heavy cigarette odor in there. He claimed he didnt smoke but later by habit pulled out a cigarette and felt it was okay to lie to me cus I might fall in love once I got to know him and the cigarette smoke wouldn't matter. It mattered that strongly to me and pissed off a couple guys real badly but you have to stick with what you want. This helps to eliminate guys with major character faults, such as being inconsistent, liars, cheaters, etc....
Do not worry that this is an extreme plan or will scare the good guys away. Rather, doing this will weed out any lingering smooth talkers, scamming types who are pretending to be someone they are not. To put up a false front takes lots of personal energy and at some point the fake facade will slip, and its up to you to be alert to catch that and then dump him. Don't feel badly if you are fooled in the first meeting or two. By time I got to the 3rd date with one guy, he ranted about his maid and used horrible names and things to call her talking behind her back and it was so similar to the behavior I hated in my ex, that Ik recognized it and never saw him again.
As for you being firm and telling guys how its going to go, it has been found in tests done that men (the good ones worth having) are attracted to a woman who knows what she wants, she will stick by it without making excuses or apologizing for it, not afraid to ask for or state what she wants. This attitude is basically having a strong self confidence and self confidence in a woman is what made these good men choose the confident woman over the prettier ones in looks. They described it as the men finding this trait as often sexier in a woman than her looks.
The other list is the what you WANT, like the icing on the cake. It is not a need or requirement but would be nice or prefered. This list you don't share with the guy. Its for yourself incase you find several guys who meet all the critieria of your other list, to help you choose from among them.
So on this list is where you find things like, he likes to go dancing, he is a musician or sings well, he likes gardening, has interest in meditation, has long hair, has a 6 pack. I listed that I wanted a man who was height and weight proportionate. This means maybe there might be some chub but basically they will look reasonably okay without looking like a body builder. These things are not deal breakers for me, but if they are to you, then they're in the wrong list. These are things you would like to see but if you don't get, you can live with or without whatever it is, for the rest of your life.
I promise, these lists will help. What I am not promising is that this is instant. Its a process. You'll also refine it or think of things to add as you run across guys or problems that you didn't think needed to be in a list. Then if not using a dating site and posting these out there right in the beginning, at least on a 2nd date if a guy asks you out twice, (means he is reasonably interested in you) tell him you have something important you need to share with him. It's important to you. Then recite your list to him. If afraid you may leave something important off, have copies of your list in your purse to hand out to a guy. If he looks at you like this must be a joke or asks such, keep calm and smile nicely and let him know that you are very serious and have resorted to this measure because simply going out with just random guys in the past and into a relationship resulted in the wrong guy each time. This is okay to give examples on if he asks. Make no excuses. If he gets upset or has a problem with any of your criteria, you could ask him why, but you can't rely at this early stage whether he may be telling the truth or not to get you to trust him and lower your standards. It is best to tell him you've decided to not consider him, as if he was an applicant for a job and his resume just isn't enough to get the position of 'boyfriend'. Think of yourself as your own human resources manager, looking for the perfect applicant for the available position of boyfriend. With that in mind, you know that you will have to turn away many hopefuls. I even had some guys beg me to choose them by the end of a first time meet up. That killed it. Spoke volumes of them feeling insecure, wimpy as males, and having low self esteem, all of which I wished to avoid. I would call such a coffee meet up as a info gathering type of date. There's 2 kinds dear, one in which an established couple goes out and the one I am talking about is most important or you won't get to the couple stage. This is the meet up for one face to face at someplace public, lots of people around and someplace not costly or expensive. I don't want either myself or him to pay $50 to $100 for a fancy dining experience when all I am doing is screening him as a possible contender for the position of my boyfriend or husband. It's better for everyone this way and no upset guys for forking out money only to have you say, you've decided he isn't the right man for you. I would start anything I shared info wise by stating that I preferred to be an open book, show all my spots and wrinkles up front so in case he doesnt like what he sees, he can just walk away from this meeting and I won't think any worse of him. I believe giving guys this 'out' up front make them feel more comfortable to truly listen to what I had to say and yes, there were a few who either on the coffee date or a later one decided to end it. If you see a guy often enough who sounds real promising, like couple times a week plus chats by phone/text, then in a reasonably short time, a couple of months, you can know if he's someone to take a chance on. Trust takes a long time to build for anyone, but what is it that brings about this kind of trust in each other, a person being consistant in who they say they are, how they act, talk, their convictions, hopes dreams, etc... and if they are always the same, then you know you can trust them. The ones who are all over the place.
Be safe too by meeting as I said in a public place. Go that first time or first couple of times in your own car there and back. Less chance of a horny guy attacking you in the car or taking you somewhere secluded to do the same.
I hope the list trick will work for you as it did for me. I did get really frustrated along the way but remember you are waiting for the guy who is looking for you to exercise his free will and make some choices. You might want to practice first how to approach and talk to guys. Gals have always been better at relationship stuff so it makes sense for a woman to take the lead in this situation. My husband saw my profile several times a year before he wrote to me. I couldn't see his and he had it hidden on the dating network. He told me the reason it took him so long to write me, he had met with women who wrote all the stuff I said about myself and he had only two requirements on his 'must have' list which were deal breakers if not present in me. Since all the promising women he met were not what they said they were, he was disillusioned and actually told me after we got together that at first he thought I was full of BS and couldn't possibly the the right one he was looking for. There are guys like him out there, who are gentlemen, a one-woman man who is looking for someone for forever like a wife. By my story I hope you see that both he and I were about ready to give up on ever finding the person right for us and us entering our 50's at the time, no longer kids. This is a lot said and yet there is so much more detail to share. So ask me if you have questions.
me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 8 months. when we first started dating he was this sweet guy that would never hurt me. he was probably the best thing i thought could have thought ever happened to me. I did see his jealousy and the way he would get mad. He was very agressive, but i just didnt think about it and i led it slide because nothing crazy had happened. Overtime things started to change, till the point he would scream at me, start punching things, he would verbally abuse me, throw things in my face abut my past (bad things that happened to me). He once grabbed me really hard from my neck, threw me on the bed on another occasion. Its getting out of control, aside from everything hes so immature, and rude. I am so stuck and inlove. I have never seen myself like this over any man. I need help. I dont know how to walk out of this situation, my family loves him especially my mom and shes always blaming me for everything. Shes always accusing me of treating him bad and being the bad one in the relationship. I need help on the right way to leave him. he is manipulating me and mind fucking me in every situaton and i dont know what to do. PLease dont tell me im being stupid, cause i already know that. i need some support. im scared that one day things will get worst and he will slap me or punch me or do something worst to me. i wish he could change. he acts like he doesnt even care about the relationship.
I am sharing with you a favorite blogger, Laci Green. She writes to young people concerning dating, relationships and sex in short entertaining video's and is on several you tube channels now. Heres a clip of her explaining why women return to an abusive relationship. Here's the first:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AB1fmsMivK8
aND heres one from her channel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjfZaswsbPs
and she mentions family friends or agencies the abused turn to. However, when I tried to make a break away from my verbally abusive relationship, I discovered that shelters were only set up for females who have been physically abused not verbally emotionally abused. So in truth, there were no shelters that would take me. I ended up going to a friends.
In this last one I will share, Laci brings up the fact that emotional abuse is abuse too. Its where you don't feel emotionally safe and on the verge of a fight all the time. If you've ever felt fear in connection with how a partner treats you, then its likely emotional abuse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjfZaswsbPs
I hope these clips show you that its not you. For me it took hitting bottom and realizing I could not continue to stay alive if I didnt leave.
I was almost 30 yrs with ex. The stress of how he treated me slowly ate away at my physical health in certain ways and then came the dream that I would die of heart a ttack or cancer if I stayed and thats what woke me up and got me to leave. I wanted to be around to see my kids marry and be a grandmother. Stress of an abusive relationship will affect health in you in tiny bits that eventually add up to one big thing. I lived with regular headaches on a daily basis and a couple migraines a year...stress can cause those medicall conditions as well as these: stomach ulcers, itchy over all body rash, and generally you aren't able to fight off some things easy with treatments like the common cold but they linger and become chest infections, but the worst stress caused things are cancer and heartattack and theres both in family background so when I heard that, that was the final s traw of scrambling to do something so I could continue to live. In time you will hopefully come to this point as well. Hopefully sooner for your sake. At the end, my ex started shoving me angrily when I least expected like when standing on our porch 2 steps up and he pushed me and I went flying but landed on my feet luckily. So I can tell you that it is very likely that for you it will escalate soon to the much worse. I left after the first couple shoves. Your guy is already laying hands on you to do the shoving stage and it will get worse from here on out. Maybe not quickly but it will get there.
You need to start making a list of who all your resources for help are, in your family, friends. Your Mom isn't going to be help since she doesnt see the part of him he hides. Abusers are the nicest people in public but monsters behind closed doors with you. So don't be too hard on Mom, she just doesn't see it and its not her fault. If you live with the boyfriend or Mom, you may want to find another place to live as neither is going to give you peace right now. Mom is the better choice but then you still have to listen to her accusations and you don't need that right now. Any aunts, cousins, grandparents or friends who can take you in? If your not ready to do so yet, then I wish you the best and protective angels to watch over you while you stay with him.
im a 24 yr old female and i am very close to my gran who is 89 (very few health issues, asthma and vertigo)
recently i keep having the same nightmare its very vivid and i either wake up crying or screaming or both. here is a little about what happens in the dream:
im at her house and i take her food shopping as usual on saturday as normal everything is fine and i leave her and she is fine. tuesday morning coming around and im at work and i receive a phone call from her life line to say the button has been pressed but they have no response and an ambulance is on the way. i arrive at the house and the paramedics have pronounced her dead at the seen, at that point i drop to the floor in shock and im devastated. i finally find the strength to call my mother to let her know whats happened. thats when i wake up.
the dream is so life like, i have had dreams like this in the past 3 or 4 months months before i was in a car accident several years ago which the exact this happened.
im so scared...scared that its going to happen scared that im going to loose the only person i can turn to when i need help with anything.
I dont know what i will do with out my gran.
does this mean anything or not? please advise me im so scared
While some people have claimed to have dreams that were future events, a good amount of dreams have no such meaning and are simply a way of your deepest worries surfacing and the dream is the outlet of your fear or worry.
Age is the first thing you mentioned so I know that must weigh heavily with you. Yes she is 89. Plenty of folks have passed on at that age and younger. But it doesnt mean she will. She could live another 10 years. She sounds reasonably healthy so its entirely likely.
Everyone has to die at some point in time and due to how close you are, that will be a big concern for you.
You say you had the same emotions after surviving a car accident. I think it was at that point that you came to realize how fragile life is and how easy it would be for one little thing to play out differently and instead of surviving, a person dies. So you have developed an anxiety over death.
If you're too busy worrying about losing her, it will rob you of quality time with her now. Since shes the one you turn to for help, I would focus on something that will give you plenty good memories and help for years after she's gone.
If someone hasn't recorded her life experiences yet, you might want to start interviewing her and taping what ever she shares with you and you will have these recordings to listen to in the future when you need a reminder of what to do.
Or get a jar, some pretty paper and when you're with her and she shares something really helpful, have her write it down. Soon your jar will be filled with helpful comments from Gran and you can pull one out to cherish her words, see her own handwriting....its a way to make a person who' is no longer alive, feel a bit more like they are still around, or at least to help keep them in your memory. I am sure you can think of some thing to do with Gran that will leave you with something to not only remember her by but continue to profit from it.
Think constructive things you can do
So my anxiety is so severe that it's honestly considered a disability. I can't work at most jobs, especially those around people.
I don't want to live off of disability. I would rather kill myself. I want to work so desperately, no one has any idea how badly I want to work. But every work I find, I just can't do because of my intense disability.
So anyone, please give me some suggestions on what jobs people with disabilities can do!
I've seen similar questions, always what a person with severe anxieties can do for work. If you stay anxious, the job possibilities are very slim but for people who qualify as disabled, they also qualify to work with a social worker whose sole job it is to do job placements and backup support for disabled people. I suggest you check with DSHS, Dept of Social and Health Services in your area to see if you can get scheduled with such a person. I used to be a caregiver and my client had a job counselor. This is getting to know your skills and the limit of what you can handle emotionally and then finding the job for you. You do not do any job hunting on your own which I think takes off some of the anxiety already.
If you are as desperate as you say, how about how desperate you are to be rid of anxieties rather than to work so desperately. Wanting the work before wanting the emotional health is like putting the wagon in front of the horse. For the best success, you may want to not give up on getting rid of anxieties. I used to have severe social anxieties as a kid and during sr. year of HS I was cured.
SO either you try a job placement social worker or write me and ask for the info on non drug treatment of anxieties. I wish you the best!.
Sometimes I am on eggshells with my relationship with my stepdad(family relationship). Sometimes we get into arguements to the point were we actually yell at each other and sometimes my mother has to call it off. But my question is, when I was young, my mother and biological father didn't have the best of relationships either, so I ask is it possible that she sees some of my father in me and should I talk to her about it?
Adviceman is right, there is no clear answer to give as we don't know the people in question.
It is a possibility that you do remind Mom of her last husband. Any mature adult of course knows that just cus someone reminds you of someone else, it doesn't mean they are that other person and should be liked for who they are.
And so, it is entirely possible that your Mom's issue is more of not having good relationship skills, perhaps an anger problem, some distorted thinking or even mental illness, and keeps choosing the wrong guys. There can not be a real or argument if only one person is actively working at it. If the other person doesn't respond at all, no fight. I had to take this tact with an ex as the problem was internal with him and had nothing to do with me.
Parents do not like their children interfering and trying to fix their problems so you may have more problems just trying to talk to Mom. Since both parents may be real touchy, you're attempt to engage them in talk may cause more trouble for you.
It also may be that if you are a teen girl that your hormones will be out of whack for a while and therefore all your emotions more touchy, cry easier, get irritated much easier or angry. Then take teen attitude and mix it with parents who haven't much a clue how to have good rewarding relationships and you have the issues at your house.
For people who understand them better and can help guide you, are there siblings of Mom you can talk to? You must have aunts and uncles. See what advice they may have. They may or may not be aware that your Mom has ever had these kinds of issues all this time.
I told a past friend that was my friend that I wasn't talking bad about them and their friends had heard wrong and there had been a lot of drama that happened between me and this individual and they said back to me "Dude I'm not on the drama either, that's why I keep blocking you and your friends that mention you." I don't know what he's referring to but he blocked me on social media before that and I assume it's because he doesn't want any drama and he thinks that more might come up. I don't know what to tell him but I want to prove to him that I'm not in or about to start drama
My first thought is that this guy and you must have differing idea's of what drama is to you. So before you go working hard to fix things, be sure what his idea of drama is.
For him, drama may not be the extremes of what you or friends says or do. If something like that happened once a month, maybe he could handle it. It may be HOw Often the so called drama happens.
For males, it is sometimes the fact that a female, or perhaps gay male is constantly contacting them, several calls a day or worse, tons of texts per hour. The overwhelming attempts at contact is enough for a person to label it drama. Hopefully that is not what has been happenning.
For those who see that they have a life to live that is right out there beyond the confines of their iphone, they will just tune out this kind of contact on social media.
You did say you were friends with him. Are you sure he still wants to be friends with you? Cus really close best buds or friends don't usually tell a friend who'se been a friend all along that they are now blocking them without any explanation. So figure out what the actual drama that he is trying to avoid is. Then ask him in person next time you see him. He may be interested in you but doesnt want to inherit a dozen of your buddies in the mix. You won't know how to proceed on this until you know what the 'drama' is so you can go about making the changes to keep his friendship if it is even worth it in the end.
So today i was walking into school with mc donalds coffee and my crush joked saying " where's mine" so tomorrow when i buy myself coffee and buy him as well as a joke and be like " since you wanted yesterday, heres your coffee" ?
16/f
Hes 17/m
I think he does like me back
It probably wasn't as much that he wanted a coffee so bad as him groping for interesting things to say to you. Guys indeed have trouble knowing what to say to a gal. His comment is a typical one, meant to be a way to flirt. So if you do exactly as you've envisioned, that would be a great flirt back with the humor of joking. Although I would add just one thing. After saying 'here's your coffee', you might want to add, tomorrow or next time is your turn to get coffees for both of us."
Its one thing to take a gift from someone but its another to think to give back. Doing this makes it easy for him to return the favor which is even a better confirmation for you that he is into you in return. Its one thing to tease and joke in a flirt and some guys flirt only for the fun of flirting, not because they have interest in the girl the way she thinks he does. But if he makes the move to get you a coffee, he is having to make more effort than just speaking and that counts for something.
Don't however get stuck in a rut of trying to get him to like you by giving him things constantly when he doesn't make any efforts back where you are concerned. If a guy doesnt show any interest by what he does and says with you, gifts and attention won't change his mind.
So its wednesday night and im constipated ( i have a problem - ive been getting constipated this whole year every week) and i have a school modeling show ftiday night. I cant take any medication because i dont want to need to go at school or at the show but i need to get rid of it tonight so im fine by friday. Help please?
I dont have prunes or prune juice and cant take constipation medication.
High fiber food usually does it.
Prunes are only 1.7 grams for 3 prunes.
Here's a chart of certain foods to try to help. The higher the fiber content, the better.
Every person is different so what works for one may not for another, however I will share what has worked for me. If I get constipated, I eat a whole small avocado. The fiber content isn't as high as beans but Avocado comes with lots of good oil too which i believe cant hurt. Avocado is the fastest way I cleared constipation, by eating it for lunchtime and by bedtime I was going fine. It may not work for you but its worth a try as I don't know of any over the counter companys product that can make that boast.
I met a man online recently and had a lovely first date with him. I couldn't believe how intelligent and kind and respectful he was. Even though he isn't really my usual type, I found myself very drawn to him. He even waited with me while I got into a taxi, and I found myself thinking that I had somehow met a true gentleman.
Our second date, a few days later, was even better. We spent upwards of seven hours (!) together, eating, drinking and talking, and both commented on how unlike a second date it felt. He said we had waded into conversation that was "six month relationship" territory -- "in a good way!" -- and that he couldn't believe how comfortable he felt. I confessed that I hadn't been so charmed and attracted to someone in a long time, and that it made me nervous.
He held my hand as we walked around, talking about what we would do on our next date. As we headed to the subway he said he couldn't resist anymore and smothered me with warm kisses and groping hands. It wasn't something I would normally allow on a second date, but I have to admit it was really exciting -- and what the hell, we were happy and connected and it seemed all but certain that this was really going somewhere.
The next day, I expected a quick note from him just to say hi or "thanks for a great afternoon," as this is pretty typical guy dating etiquette. When I hadn't gotten one by dinnertime, I went out on a limb and wrote him myself -- a short, cute text saying that I couldn't stop thinking about making out in the rain. When I still hadn't heard back by midnight, I began to worry.
It's now two full days later and I still haven't heard a peep from him. NOTHING. We had made plans to see each other next weekend, but I'm becoming pretty convinced that he has simply disappeared and wants nothing to do with me. After all, when you don't hear from a guy, it's because he's "just not that into you," right?
I'm so hurt and confused. What did I do wrong? What changed, and how did it happen so fast? It has been a long time since I let myself feel hopeful about a man, and this really stings. Can you please help me shed some light on this situation?
Hi hon. I have had some of these kinds of dates too. I even met couple of guys who looked like male models...Hot!
Here's what I figure could be going on based on what happened to me.
I met guys on a dating site first and met face to face for coffee once we learned of each others existence. There were plenty of guys who said all the things that your guy said.
That first part of getting along and feeling like you've known each other longer, is part of whats important to a relationship, being able to be best of friends.
There is however the romance and sexual part of a relationship that needs to work well too and sometimes I couldn't tell just from meeting and getting along like old friends. It was when we got to the point of kissing goodnight that I experienced whether there was any chemistry between us romance wise or not. Now just think what if he had kissed me and it felt wrong, gross like having a brother or dad or uncle kissing me romantically. I've had kisses like that which clued me in instantly that our pheremone connection wasn't on both parts, maybe only one of us or neither felt it.
So You both may make best of friends but when a male is looking for a female in a relationship, he wants it all to be good, being the best friend status and also the sex or attraction being the same.
He may have shown enthusiasm at the time but after thinking on it, realized that the spark for the romantic part isn't there. How does a person who was saying how great things are going now take it back and say, well maybe I spoke too soon. After the kiss, I realized I didnt feel any sexual chemistry. I'll use different words cus everyone can force themselve to have sex but its making love that most of us want and that is what is a special part of a relationship.
If this is the case for your guy, he may be too embarrassed and without a clue what to say to you.
Neither he or you did anything wrong from what you shared. Dating for fun can't come until you've dated to find the person who is right for you and there are going to be plenty of ups and downs in dating, discovering traits you do not like or won't tolerate, what you do like in a person and so on. So there will be lots of dates that don't go well and dating that doesn't conitue to grow into a relationship. I know the world of dating is confusing but one has to get out there, stay out there and not give up until they find the one who is just right for them.
seriously
You masturbate because at this age, you are probably ahead of most your peers, as far as puberty setting in. The fact that at 9 you want to have sex makes you an exception to the general known reality that people are not in puberty yet or far enough along in their sexual development of their bodies. So you may be the exception. Also, can't say this is true for you but in general most young teens are not ready for sex as far as being able to handle staying safe with condoms and for when condoms fail, birth control for the girl. Although planned parenthood has had programs where they work with teens in education and providing birth control. However I do not believe they work with kids your age. Its likely more at 14, or so but you could always call your local one and ask.
Another reason that there isn't anything but masturbation that works at this point is again your age and the fact that if anyone 18 or older were to agree to it with you, they would go to jail if or when caught. If any teen younger than 18 but lots older than you were to do this, it most likely would s till be an outrage between parents if another kid had sex with their 9 yr old.
I was taught that when a girl starts her period, it is often irregular, and will even out as she matures.
I am 18 and have had my period for more than four years, and it is not getting any more regular. If anything it is becoming more irregular. Just a few months ago I had a 36 day cycle, and more recently I had one that was only 19 days.
Is this normal? Will I even out eventually?
I did start university this fall, so the change and new hormones from the girls I am living with could have an affect, but that would only explain the more recent ones....
I'm just wondering if I should be worried. Do I need to talk to my doctor?(please say no, I am scared of doctors)
Its time that your cycle be regular by now.Although I don't see a need for you to worry. If you do nothing, then someday in the future when you want kids, you won't be able to have them until this issue is fixed. There may be other long term effects on you physically of not having a normal cycle as the years go by so I wouldnt put the Dr off altogether.
You did not mention any extreme pains or constant heavy bleeding that pads cant hold it all. Those 2 things are the only thing my gynecologist made sure i was aware if I was experiencing either, it was important to see the Dr. ASAP!!!!1
Since you mentioned neither, I am assuming that it isn't a big bad thing that is wrong. I am no doctor, but just from life experiences, this sounds like a hormone issue. Not enough hormones to keep a steady cycle. If this is the case, the Dr. will likely prescribe something for you to take to correct the issue if it is indeed what I suspect. Living with or being around other females can affect ones cycle but it is a smaller difference in that you are already on track to have your cycle and you just regulate with the girls so all your periods fall the same time. Happened to me when I worked in an all female office, we often had periods the same time. All this phenomenom does is make your body start your period a little sooner or later than its normal date but then it sticks with the new schedule and from there out it should be regular so .....no it hasnt anything to do with other girls at Univ.
For the last 5 months ive either been constipated for about 2 weeks, then ill take medication for it then ill have diareah for a day or 2 and then im back to being constipated. Or ill have 2 weeks constipation then a week diareah. Ive probably only been normal about once during these 5 months. It feels awful because my stomach is bloated and it hurts and right now i feel extremely nauseas. Please help on what could be wrong with me.
Being that you're 16, at least we can rule out menopause which can tend to do that to females. Of course, not enough fiber in ones diet is another reason. Lack of fluids will cause it too so start drinking more fluids. Is it hard for you to guzzle down water as it is for me? What I do is put in a flavoring, not one meant to put in water drinks as I believe those have too many chemicals and diet sugars so I use real fruit juice and mix equal parts of 1/4 juice to 3/4 water and get more fluids that way plus less sugar while doing so.
Another thing to keep in mind whenever you get a bout of constipation or diarrhea in the future, if its at all possible to NOT take an over the counter medicine, then DONT. This is one thing I know Drs will say, that constipation medicine and diarrhea medicine are in themselves not bad but they tend to make your problem worse so that all you have is the extremes and nothing normal in digestion anymore. Its also a warning they give to menopausal women as they are susceptible to end up with the extremes or older seniors who aren't eating well, drinking enough or getting enough exercise.
Talking about exercise, while it wont relieve your current symptoms, it works well for keeping things moving and flowing. Hon, I hate doing exercise so if you do too, you can still do this one and it wasn't even technically exercise but stretching with yoga poses. I can currently as I'm not in my own place but if you buy a book on yoga poses and make this one of the first things you do every morning, by time you complete your set of stretches, if you're like me, you'll feel the urge to go.
So next time you are constipated, try eating foods that are high in fiber or at least, the kind of foods that react that way with your body. Not all high fiber things work the same on me. So find your favorites for which work best on you. Even if you do not like the particular food item, eat it anyways for its fiber benefit.
rich see following list of foods:
http://commonsensehealth.com/high-fiber-foods-list-for-a-high-fiber-diet/
According to the list, oats are high fiber and so are beans followed by seeds and nuts. About the only other high fiber item that isn't a nut seed or bean is avocado. I ate one whole small avocado on a day I was getting a bit constipated. That same day before I went to bed, I'd be able to go to bathroom several times...it was like Rooter rooter to the gut, moving what was stuck. And who doesn't love Gucamole. If you can just add avocado, to help now and then have it once or twice a week worked into a meal, you'll be the better for it. But I am not talking a bout a bite or two as you find it in a casserole but if you can eat as much as a small avocado.
Check out recipes with beans that can give more figer, recipes you may like.
Heres another food tip: I'd take dry beans of any type, black or white, etc...put dry beans and water on stove to simmer and keep watching it. Eventually the beans will be cooked but if you watch it carefully, from this point you can cook it down til its fallen apart and become a bean sauce. Add in flavorings you want like onion, maybe even some salsa and pour this instead of spaghetti sauce on your pasta. Its warm and filling for the winter AND has fiber from the beans. Good luck. If pain becomes extreme and/or still doesnt go away, you might need to see a Dr.
You need 30 to 40 daily grams of fiber but Americans have one of the lowest intake, about 12 grams which isn't enough.
Hi everyone, so I am 20 years old and my ex is 35. We dated for a year and a half and lived together. We have been broken up for about 6-7 weeks now. I miss him. I love this man. We had plans to move away together and now he's leaving and moving away within the next few months. My heart is shattered. We were very toxic together, constantly arguing, I have awful communication skills which was a big issue in our relationship on my end but on his, I was always anxious. I felt like no matter what I did I would get lectured, or made fun of, or get in trouble like a child. I was so unhappy in the relationship and prayed God would give me an out because I was so unhappy, and so anxious. Now I miss him, and I just want him, I want things to be wonderful. Trust has been broken and tested on both sides. He has pulled me out of my family parties because we were fighting or he wasn't enjoying himself. My family started to invite me to less things because they didn't want him around. My family, and friends don't like him. As toxic as we are I love him. I'm mortified that he's leaving, I can't believe he's leaving me. He's taking my/our dream and running with it. He can't live in that house because it's so empty and he needs a brand new start in life. Towards the end I said "I'm scared to leave but I'm more scared to stay" and now I find myself not even knowing what I want. I just want to lay next to him, I want to feel him and know that he's here. Just any advice, any comment. Maybe you've been in a crazy toxic relationship and how did you resolve it? He's also a very angry person and I am a very happy easy going person and that was a big issue always because he'd get mad over just about anything. Anything might help. Thank you!
Yes, we can hurt badly and miss a person, even if that person while with us, was very bad for us.
the pain of seperation lessens after time has gone by. I've had to go thru that as well and know thats how it works.
If you wonder why you might be missing him, I don't know your reasons, but for myself, I discovered I had a low self confidence and was trying to gain all my self confidence thru having the ex as my husband and partner. And thats where the fear comes in to not want to try again on your own. Now that I am over 7 yrs out of that situation, I find I am a happier person. Even my adult children were able to see how much happier I was as a person after leaving their Dad and they are glad to see me like this now.
You don't have to know what you do want yet, I didnt either. All I did was take baby steps. Decide which topic in your life needs top priority and attention right now and fix that battle first before moving on to others.
I met a girl last semester who is friends with my best friend. The three of us would talk and hang out but then over the summer, me and her texted regularly and went on a few dates. We were both busy with work and stuff and towards the end of the summer we didn't talk as regularly, so I decided to wait until the new semester to see if i could better gauge the situation. The three of us again have class this semester and often hang out all together. However, me and her text almost everyday. I would like to try and move back to just me and her hanging out like we did over the summer but I am afraid of potentially losing the friendship if it doesn't work out. Last night, we were texting and it transitioned to a more genuine conversation about when we met, rather than our usual back and forth jokes at each other. We exchanged several txts about meeting and how weird it would have been if we had not met. Here are some responses from her.. she talked about how when we first met we weren't as comfortable together but how quickly things changed to us being very comfortable. She also said that quote..."now that you have me, im not going anywhere.. because you cant make me like being friends with you and then leave me so surprise!! your stuck :P"
" I got your number the first lab so bang bang I'm a go getter I forced you to be my friend from there on out ;) I feel like if you get that close to someone that quick it's a good thing you know a good sign,"
I'm female and my impression is that what she's doing is an awful lot of trouble to go thru just to have a male friend.
Now I can see a female who has romantic feellings about a guy perhaps being this bold and saying what she did.
Her words though are more of a challenge and reprimandation to you. She seems to feel that you originally reached out to her, got her interest going and by time she was on board, you'd lost interest in her somewhat and she's just warning you its not a nice thing to do and letting you know she won't let you get away with it, trying to brush her off. So it sounds like she is genuinely interested in you and waiting for your next move. If you dont make one, I am sure she will as she seems the type. However, she may be hoping more that you reach out first rather than her having to make the next move on your fr iendship or dating.
So I was bored and heard of some island called North Sentinal. Basically the people are very isolated and hostile, they live like the stone age. It's kind of owned by India but they're very independent. India has tried to contact them but they just shoot arrows and chuck spears. What I don't understand is how come no one has colonized them yet? I understand it's immoral, and I wouldn't do it myself, but there are bad people in the world, power hungry people, and a bunch of stone agers would be an ideal target. I think it would be a pretty easy job. The only thing stopping them is the fact India owns the place. But if you got past them, either through war or purchase (and let's be real, how much would India cling to this place that serves no purpose, and gives no benefit, to them?) Or if India sent people, wouldn't it be super easy? Like I'm sure if I waltz in with armour and an assault rifle, I could conquer the fuck out of them and their shitty arrows. Like they're small, isolated, and stone age. (I wouldn't do that, it's wrong, but I'm sure there are others who would.) And they can't speak any languages other than their own that no one knows, if I (somehow) learned it, and secretly conquered them, I could basically do whatever I want with my superior technology and connections to the outside world. They would have no way of reporting me for human rights violations. Once I get them to submission, and keep them away from technology and weapons, and have a monopoly on anything useful, slowly let my rulingship be known, underneath a false impression I've got their consent and it's a democracy, I could bring in my buddies back in America to help me with this shit, and boom. I've got a colony. I'm sure if I played my cards right a dense forest and coral reef with people would be ideal for business men and I could get their funding, it would be so easy. Why hasn't it happened?
Remember Star Trek and the prime directive to not interfere with other developing societies? It is for the reason to prevent a global superpower interfering in the natural development of any civilization that is further behind.
I can only guess that it is this one thing keeping us from colonizing.
That and basically since the people living there are fairly hostile due to not knowing much about modern man, to colonzie, it might take
My fiance has a very small penis. It does not go inside of me. Though we tried just for once still I can tell we have tried like forever to get it erect and hard still he could not insert. It was not my first time and I was totally both physically and mentally prepared to do it and was completely wet so it was not my problem but what I think is it was because of the very small (nearly like a female thumb) size of his penis. Also he was not lubricating properly. It was his first time so I think he was nervous and I was not able to excite him and he did not have the full arousal.He tried to penetrate me for several times but failed and he was shivering and sweating abnormally. I got terrified seeing his condition. Still while playing with my body he ejaculated. It seemed the semen was thick and normal though. But I am shocked and worried together having seen the size of his penis and disappointed also. Don't know why having these thoughts that I can not get pregnant and satisfied with him. I could not tell him but its killing me inside. He may get hurt. I was physically not satisfied also went to dipression. It was kind of embarrassing for both of us and we did not even discuss about the whole thing afterwards. He got fever also after the incident. What should I do?
If there was fever afterwards, then he was sick that time you were trying and he couldnt get hard.
ED issues are enough to make it difficult for a man to perform. The more problems ones having, the em barassment or whatever compounds the problems.
Men with smaller peniss can get females pregonant.
As to whether she will feel satisified depends on other things besides size. The vagina general length before aroused is only around 3 inches or the length of a tampon. So since you're engaged to be married, this is something to see a couples counselor about.
One way to do this is to discuss both of you having wellness checkups before marriage. This way both of you can be screened for STDs and sexual well health. He can be screened at same time and you might let Dr. know of any of your issues.
If he has a smaller than average penis, he already knows it and its likely why he has problems, more due to what he is thinking, of disappointing you, the worries alone can shut down ability to get hard. If getting erect would solve the problem than you own it to your selves to mention it to him to talk to a Dr. Nothing can be done about the size but maybe some education on what can be done to have success at being erect will solves this. If he's a decent guy otherwise, you owe it to each other to try everything possible to help.
Have had this friend name Robert that has been through high school with me all the way and has stuck by my side through my highest and lowest points and has prevented many incidents where I could have been in serious trouble and he clearly stated to me and others that he never gave up on me or left because he believes in me and knows that I have potential and both of us are seniors in our school's band program. Some stuff happened yesterday and I got him called into a room with a school staff member and we talked through my concerns and he clearly stated to me that he wasn't mad at me and that I he and I were still friends and there was never a time when we weren't friends but he asked me bluntly with no exceptions what he could to to keep anything from happening wrong between us again and I just don't know how I can keep things going strong for the rest of our senior year.
Hon, it may be something as simple as not understanding some things when he says them and then your double guessing what it meant. It sure doesnt sound like he is purposely trying to argue, fight or hurt your feelings in any way.
If you two are the closest of friends, then I hope you don't believe that you will never have any misunderstandings or disagreements, because even the closest of friends, the deepest in love, etc....all have these things happen at times. Its how we handle and work through any disagreements or anger that really count.
Some people just 'react' vs. 'respond'. A reaction is a knee-jerk response usually to a word or act that remind you of an unpleasant thing in your past so that you are literally acting your original ways to the previous situation, the same way with this person. A response is more of taking your time to cool down your emotions before responding to someone elses, and learning how to place yourself (imagination wise) into the other persons shoes so to speak, to try to figure how that person may be feeling and what may have prompted the words or actions that you may have taken the wrong way. I am not saying that you are kicking up trouble, just that I have come across Many people in my life who took even my innocent words the wrong way. I suppose its a mix of my womens intuition, plus not taking anything too personally, just taking deep breaths and not opening my mouth until I have something informative or constructive to say when I am agitated at someone.
There really is no other special plan to avoid these things happening and I look at it like this, it gives me the opportunity to practice forgiveness and move on in case some issues or problems arise. So the way you keep your friendship going is simply to do what you
have always done to enjoy your friendship but both of you work to become a better person than you were the day before. Keep that mindset and you will find the best ways possible to work thru anything with your friend.
Yesterday I was seen at the hospital for stomach pain. It was explained to me that both of my overies had created a follicle that then burst as they do during ovulation. Due the increased hormones it can cause more pain than normal. My auestio is, I'm in birth control but just started two months ago and over the past few months I missedseveral pills. If a follicle completes the full cycle does that means there is an egg inside it?
Yes, theres an egg inside. See link of photo on wikipedia showing follicle and egg.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ovarian_follicle
This egg when released is ready for a sperm to join it and create a baby.
If you are on birth control, and its the daily pill, all I can say is what the Drs say...that the pill must be taken daily and best at same time of day also. If you have trouble remembering, try setting the alarm on your iphone to go off same time each day to remind you. Missed pills can result in a pregnancy.
The pain you felt of the releasing of the egg is a common one which I felt most times too. However the pain wasn't extreme and didnt last long. If you ever have extreme pain again and or heavier bleeding than normal, those are signs to see Dr. ASAP, something my GYB. drilled into me.
Hi I'm a 18 year old female
I always swore I was a straight girl and that I would never do anything with a girl. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. We have great sex.
One day looking through his phone I saw that he was searching for transsexuals near him. I confronted him and he denied it , he even got very mad about it , I then saw it again about 2 to 3 times , his excuse has always been that the guys he works with like to mess around and look at "nasty things like that" he erases the history I've noticed so I don't see . I started doing research and reading articles , ever since Iv Ben fantasizing about being with woman. I've been getting turned on to seeing lesbian porn. I've even touched myself now and got orgasms over watching 2 girls. I really want too experiment with being with a girl now. It's driving me insane it has become like my main thing now . The reason I spoke about my boyfriend is because ever since I've seen those things it's been happening. Maybe it opened up my mind in some sort of way? Help? Opinions?
It doesn't matter how or what caused you to become curious but staying safe and having fun in your exploration. As adviceman mentioned, the boyfriend seems to be way too embarrassed to handle anything other than heterosexual sex and forget about the many gender identities. My impression from his reactions, he is like a little kid who gets his kicks from things like 'potty talk' either to see how others will react or feels its all wrong and naughty and must be kept under wraps. If he can't get past that and open up to share with you, then it may be due to fear, lack of trust (to share even just his fantasies like that), or he is just too young and immature to handle what he may be able to handle a decade or so from now.
As for being bi curious, I used to attend swing clubs with my ex. It was not the reason for the breakup to rest your mind, but it can be for many couples. I have seen very few girls your age at clubs but can't say that they didn't do anything just through meeting people on the internet. There is a site called Swappernet.com which is set up to put your own profile and you list what you are looking for. Although there are bi men, that is way more rare from what I've seen. Bi women are a pretty huge group. ANd believe it or not, it wasn't younger women who were bi curious, it was all the housewives and mothers of at least late 30's and on in age. I remember attending a house party we were invited to by friends who were told to bring friends and the place was very large and could easily house the 50 or more people who showed up. At one point, I noticed only men left lounging a round their swimming pool and asked where all the women were? A couple of husbands said that a certain event was going on, just bi women having fun in a private area of the house and almost all the other women there to watch or perhaps play a bit since they were bi curious. I probably counted only two women like myself who were not part of that and not bi curious. So actually hon, its a very normal thing and especially so happening in older women. I think its because as adults we have a process from end of HS and onward where we learn to gain self confidence and no longer let anyone tell us what we should or shouldn't do. We decide what we want or check it out. ITs that simple.
Another fact is that from my interviewing women, I discovered that a great percent of females were the ones who got the idea to try a swing club or swapper net instead of the guy and had to convince boyfriends or husbands to participate with them.
Its mostly couples involved but there are a lot of singles too. The best thing I've witnessed is husbands who attended a swing club just to be there for wifes protection and company but he took her so she could find some bi women to enjoy for the night. When asked if he was there to partcipate and enjoy others, he was not and just enjoyed the music or whatever but did not hook up with any other female.
The worst I've seen is men and women who when told "No, not interested", didn't honor that request until multiple times told. ANd the other would be the wife or husband of a married couple getting jealous if they see their partner enjoying someelse too much for their peace of mind.
What is going on is 'jealousy' and that is a fear of losing something. That ones mate can find someone better rather than realizing they are just enjoying something different. Different isn't always automatically better. Lots of insecurity comes out at this subject and worse if one or both try to experience it. So just realise that in moving forward to check out the bi thing, you may upset the boyfriend enough that it causes more trouble between you and he could split up with you. Since he's not very forthcoming right now anyhow, I would see that as a good thing. Why?
If in checking out being bi, you discover you truly are and want to keep it up, then you don't want to be the other half of a relationship with a guy who isn't understanding, overwhelmingly supportive and not jealous. You would deserve the kind of guy like the husbands I talked to who were only there to give the wives a chance to have some fun with other women. It can backfire if they truly want to help you but eventually want to be able to have sex with other women as well. Whats good for one should be okay for the other but this is a time when the female who has been having her fun all of a sudden is jealous cus she discovers she has problems sharing her guy.
Lots of men do not see another female with their girl as a potential threat so he may be okay to begin with but men see other men definitely as a threat if they're insecure to begin with.
Keep this all in mind. If you do choose to go ahead and end up with questions, ask others who are bi, or you can always write to me specifically on here and I will share as honestly as I can from experience.
Finding the right people is the hardest first step, ones you truly like and trust. So how do you broach the subject? ITs too tricky for face to face convo with people. Best to find your partners on the internet through sites set up for others who have the same interests already so all you have to do is choose between them.
Be safe and don't allow others to your place first or go to theirs. Just as with hetero dating sites, be safe and just meet face to face in a public place the first time (not for sex) just to get a good feel for the other. If you decide its not right, then don't go setting another meet.