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abusive boyfriend
me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 8 months. when we first started dating he was this sweet guy that would never hurt me. he was probably the best thing i thought could have thought ever happened to me. I did see his jealousy and the way he would get mad. He was very agressive, but i just didnt think about it and i led it slide because nothing crazy had happened. Overtime things started to change, till the point he would scream at me, start punching things, he would verbally abuse me, throw things in my face abut my past (bad things that happened to me). He once grabbed me really hard from my neck, threw me on the bed on another occasion. Its getting out of control, aside from everything hes so immature, and rude. I am so stuck and inlove. I have never seen myself like this over any man. I need help. I dont know how to walk out of this situation, my family loves him especially my mom and shes always blaming me for everything. Shes always accusing me of treating him bad and being the bad one in the relationship. I need help on the right way to leave him. he is manipulating me and mind fucking me in every situaton and i dont know what to do. PLease dont tell me im being stupid, cause i already know that. i need some support. im scared that one day things will get worst and he will slap me or punch me or do something worst to me. i wish he could change. he acts like he doesnt even care about the relationship.
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Hey love,
I'll go straight to the point on this one.
Cut this man out of your life, for GOOD!
If and when you do which I strongly encourage to because I KNOW that's the best solution for anyone in these types of situations (which I can honeslty say I was in something somewhat similiar to this.)
It's going to be Hard at first, you're going to think about him constantly, you're going to have an ache in your heart, you may even miss him in a sick way, you're mind is going to tell you to go back, but don't ever go back.
Don't worry about what your friends or family think, you are your only concern. Noone is going to understand or know and feel the real details of your relationship except for you.
But after you give it time, the pain will go away and you'll realize you did the right decision by letting this man go. Time Heals Wounds.
If he's treating you this bad, it does not ever get better. Even if one day it seems he's changed, or nicer, it doesn't last.
You deserve someone who treats you right. Noone deserves to go through this type of all. It isn't meant to be.
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I am sharing with you a favorite blogger, Laci Green. She writes to young people concerning dating, relationships and sex in short entertaining video's and is on several you tube channels now. Heres a clip of her explaining why women return to an abusive relationship. Here's the first:
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aND heres one from her channel:
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and she mentions family friends or agencies the abused turn to. However, when I tried to make a break away from my verbally abusive relationship, I discovered that shelters were only set up for females who have been physically abused not verbally emotionally abused. So in truth, there were no shelters that would take me. I ended up going to a friends.
In this last one I will share, Laci brings up the fact that emotional abuse is abuse too. Its where you don't feel emotionally safe and on the verge of a fight all the time. If you've ever felt fear in connection with how a partner treats you, then its likely emotional abuse.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I hope these clips show you that its not you. For me it took hitting bottom and realizing I could not continue to stay alive if I didnt leave.
I was almost 30 yrs with ex. The stress of how he treated me slowly ate away at my physical health in certain ways and then came the dream that I would die of heart a ttack or cancer if I stayed and thats what woke me up and got me to leave. I wanted to be around to see my kids marry and be a grandmother. Stress of an abusive relationship will affect health in you in tiny bits that eventually add up to one big thing. I lived with regular headaches on a daily basis and a couple migraines a year...stress can cause those medicall conditions as well as these: stomach ulcers, itchy over all body rash, and generally you aren't able to fight off some things easy with treatments like the common cold but they linger and become chest infections, but the worst stress caused things are cancer and heartattack and theres both in family background so when I heard that, that was the final s traw of scrambling to do something so I could continue to live. In time you will hopefully come to this point as well. Hopefully sooner for your sake. At the end, my ex started shoving me angrily when I least expected like when standing on our porch 2 steps up and he pushed me and I went flying but landed on my feet luckily. So I can tell you that it is very likely that for you it will escalate soon to the much worse. I left after the first couple shoves. Your guy is already laying hands on you to do the shoving stage and it will get worse from here on out. Maybe not quickly but it will get there.
You need to start making a list of who all your resources for help are, in your family, friends. Your Mom isn't going to be help since she doesnt see the part of him he hides. Abusers are the nicest people in public but monsters behind closed doors with you. So don't be too hard on Mom, she just doesn't see it and its not her fault. If you live with the boyfriend or Mom, you may want to find another place to live as neither is going to give you peace right now. Mom is the better choice but then you still have to listen to her accusations and you don't need that right now. Any aunts, cousins, grandparents or friends who can take you in? If your not ready to do so yet, then I wish you the best and protective angels to watch over you while you stay with him.
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First of all you're not stupid so get that out of your head.. You are in an abusive relationship and you realize you need to escape. What your mom or anyone else things is immaterial, they see only what he lets them see. You see the real him.
You don't say if you are living with him or not. If you are living with him and need help moving out there are people you can call. One is called RAINN which stands for Rape Abuse National Network. They have a hotline you can call for help it is 1-800-656-HOPE. You can also see if there is a House of Ruth in your area;1-877-988-5559. The House of Ruth will help you leave and provide you with shelter.
RAINN is the best if you are not living with him as they will connect you with a crisis center in your area who will help you contact the right people to separate him from you.
I how this helps but remember on thing you are not stupid. You are an abused young women who needs help and help is a phone call away. Make the call get out of this relationship now.
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