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teenagers please
I would like teenagers to answer this one,
My daughter is 13. But the clothes she wears are not...happy. She always is sarcastic. She listens to strange, loud music. Is this the fashion these days? Should I let her be?
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Hey...well I'm 13, and I kind of have that problem. I mean, I don't dress like your daughter or listen to the type of music she does, but I'm sure I feel the same way she does. Well, could you be more specific about her? Does she dress all black? Does she listen to heavy metal? If so, then she is going gothic. You know, there's this saying in a book I read " The good old days are the days of your life when you don't see the world as it really is." She probably sees the errors of the world. Or maybe she was hurt badly emotionally. What she's doing is not the fashion. I'm happy that your concerned. But I wouldn't interfere with your daughter. Then she would do it behind your back, which is worse. It's a phase she's going through, and most likely, she'll be back to normal in a few weeks, months, or years. It takes time. However, you might wanna investigate into her life a little bit. Whenever she's not home, look into her room, make sure there's no drugs in her room. She may just feel like this, but it could lead her down a bad path. But don't let her know your interfering. From experience, it's nervewrecking, annoying, and just plain bad when you know your parents are searching into your life. My room is clean and nice, and I'm not into anything bad, but if my mom sees anything wrong, like a sock underneath my bed, its the end of the world.That's why it's terrible. Hope I helped!
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you should seriously talk to your daughter about this!
if she wearin alot of black! then thats what most teens consider GOTHIC! and like most gothic people at my school have had problems! like family problems relationship problems ect... most end up cuttin there selfs! not sayin ur daughter does! but if i was ur daughter it would mean alot to me for you to talk to me about it! alot of gothic people feel left out or like an outcast!.. she might yell at you and say this is my life or w.e but takl to her aboutit! because most people who cut there self it could lead to suiced! im not trying to scare you! but i really think you should talk to her! and if she not in like any social groups or acivities at school! you should try gettin her involved in them and gettin to know people!
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no, these clothes are not the style at the moment although, as she is only 13, she's probably trying to find herself and to see what style she likes the most. she's probably just going through a phase.
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HI, HOW ARE YOU? To answer your question, that is not the fashion these days. The correct term for what your daughter is wearing is called GOTHIC. I think that you should try to persuade her to dress properly, and not so bold. I don't think that you should allow her to dress that way because I'm quite sure your daughter is a pretty young girl and she needs to show her beauty. I'm a freshman in high school and I see a lot of kids that dress and act as your daughter does, but they are all, I promise every single one, are all weird and they act differently, not saying your daughter is that way or will become that way. But most of them dress that way because they are trying a rebellion against their problem, whether at home, school, or anywhere else. Talk to your daughter and make sure that there is nothing wrong. I hope that I was help to you and tell your dauhgter that I said,"HI."
-- Taniqua --
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rachel :- i think that all of us teenagers are sarcastic. lol! and i know that all of my friends and i wear abercrombie and hollister and all of that good stuff. and then music is just music. unless it is like constantly cursing and stuff then i would just let her listen to what she likes. this could all just be a faze that she is going through. hope it helps!
♥ us
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i'm 14...but it's pretty much like how i am.
most teenagers are sarcastic, and alot of us listen to loud music, sometimes strange.
it sounds like she's has her own style and honestly doesnt care what other people think.
as for the sarcasm, i know that most people are sarcastic because it's how we protect ourselves from being hurt. we dont like to admit it, but it's like a wall of protection/security.
i wouldnt say let her be unless she's going psycho. when she's mad, let her have time to herself. when you haave a disagreement from 2 different points of view, listen to hers, try to see the situation how she would, and ask her to do the same for you. but also try to spend time together. like go out to lunch and a movie on a saturday or something...like maybe a feew times a month and take turns picking where you go.
hope i helped, good luck!
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I'm 13, and most of my friends are. We're all sarcastic with our parents, not all the time, but alot of the time, and we listen to loud music in our rooms. Its just normal teenage behaviour. As for her 'not happy' dress sense, its probably just what she likes. She ust like blakor whatever it is thats making her dress sense 'unhappy'. I wouldn't worry, it sounds totally normal to me, so just let her be herself, oh and if you ever watch other teens in the street, or with their parents, i'm sure you'll see the similarity!
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well your daughter is who she is and you cant change her. && yea every tennager is sarcastic thats just how it is.. and if you really hate her clothes then maybe you could have a little bit of control over what she wears but not alot.. ♥ kelley
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She`s difantly being a teenager..
Sounds like she`s her own person && wears what she feels like wearing..I wouldn`t be to worried about it..Also being sarcastic is something every teenager does..Horrible isn`t it but if you want to have a little bit of control over that maybe use punishment if your okay with that..♥Dez
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no a days everthing is different ever person is different everyone likes something new and i dont think it would be right of you to interferr with your daughters liek ebcause she is who she is and no one should change that.
*~Stephanie~*
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You should let her be. It's her own style, and her own fashion. You wouldn't like your mom or dad telling you what to wear because it's not the fashion these days, would you? Plus it's her body.
You gave birth to her, to let her live, and for you to watch over her. Not to take control over her body . Right?
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Let her alone it may be nothing. Is she into painting drawing than it's just an artist thing. They like the look it inspires them to be artistic. If not it may just be cause that is in style. However be observant. Don't be pushy but do you notice she wears long sleaves alot or ristbands? She may be a cutter. Look for missing towels or blood where it shouldn't be. This is serious if you find anything do not approch them about it. Try talking about a "friend" you have that has the same problem. If this is a cry for help she'll fess up abuot it.
Peace out,
DA
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Your daughter is just probably going through a phaze. Getting on he back would just make her angry. Loud music just maybe something she likes.
Just let her be.
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Wow, unhappy clothes.
Maybe her T-shirts need some anti depressants
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The loud music and "unhappy clothes" are somewhat the style these days. However; I think you should just talk to her and see if her onsomble is a reflection of her emotions and just see if something was bothering her.
If you've seen a drastic change [ such as her going from wearing bright cute fashionable clothes to these dark unhappy ones ] you might need to watch out for some signs of depression as that is a big thing with teenagers these days.
I hope I've helped =D
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hey
well um im 13 :) u should talk to her and see why she's like that but if she gives you a proper explantion yeh let her be but if it's not a good one just tell her to wear more appropiate clothes and listien to better music because you dont nkow what she is turning into and you dont wnat it to turn out to be bad take her out or somthing buy her clothes adn then see what happenes well gd luk
take care mwa :):) love :hilda
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It would be more helpful if you had described said music and clothes, but in a nutshell, the world isn't the same as it was when you were a kid. What you should do is keep an eye on her and intervene if she really starts acting strange ie mysterious scars, painting her room black for no apparent reason, or peircings other than the ears. Chances are though, it's just a phase.
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Im 15 years old and when i was 12 til now i was wearing clothes that my mom didnt exactly agree with.When i was 13 and 14 i was wearing low cut tight short shirts...low cut tight jeans...short skirts and short shorts and all that. Your daughter is doing what all the girls these days are doing,shes just expressing herself. And the music she may listen to is what all the teens are listening to now. And alot of teenage girls are wearing revealing clothes and short shirts and stuff their parents may not like. It may not last long but as long as shes not doing it because its the style shes fine. She should want to be herself and if she likes the way shes dressing then its probably ok. My mom finally got use to how i dress even tho she doesnt like it and doesnt always agree with it. But shes coming around and you may to. Give her a chance!!
xoxoJessxoxo
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The clothes that she wears might not be something you can both agree on. Clothes do make a person and it's just her way of expressing herself. It's probably just a phase she is going through, anyways. All teenages like to try out new things just to know if it's really 'them' or not.
For the music, again it's what she likes best. Yes, it might be strange, loud and annoying. But it's something that she likes so you're going to have to try your best to live with it.
Don't try to get her out of the clothes she is wearing or the music she is listening to. If you do try to do so, she's just going to go behind your back and do it anyways. So, just let it be, especially if it's making her happy; you wouldn't want to take that away from here. ♥
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ill give you all the info. i have you see im 13 and i wear clothes that are not for my age listen to loud music and im sarcastic! it is just a phase your daughter is going to go through my sister was the same way after a year she grew out of it so hopefully you can put up with it for about another year then she will be mature enough to know!
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I'm often sarcastic too, its just a way of expressing yourself, so I wouldn't be worried about that.
And, as for the loud music, that is very normal. Most teenagers blast their music in their room.
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its not exactly a fashion. im 15/f and i never was like that. yea a few of my friends are but not to that extream. maybe talking to her about it. maybe shes depressed or not happy with her life. alot of us teens happen to feel like that everyonce and a while but not all the time.
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no i would definitely say this is not the fashion these days. i have seen many teen girls go through the same thing, but they change as they get older. its just a phase and i think your daughter is probably just trying to figure herself out. i think you should let your daughter be when it comes to clothes, because it is just a way of expressing herself. if her attitude changes though, (doesnt listen to you, ignores you, doesnt want to talk/be around lots of people) i would sit down and talk with her and see whats going on.
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ok we need a little bit more info about your daughter, like what do you mean "not happy". like are they all black and really big or are they small and tight fitting?, loud strange music i assume would be heavy metal, its heavy metal if its like really loud guitars and drums and they are screaming,or it sounds like a growling.
well from the info you've given and from the info I assumed, yeah its some of the fashion today, and just let her be, because if you try to change her she won't like and she'll most likely end up hating you for changing her. Its normal alot of teens are the same way as your daughter, and its okay. You don't want your daughter to be something shes not. let her be herself, you will regert it if you change her.
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Greetings.
If at all possible, could you describe your daughter a bit more? Because I can think of a few clothing fashions that are not happy. Are the colors all black, are they obscene shirts, etc? Also with strange, loud music. Could you describe that a bit more as well (more of less so you can get a better answer from columnits who may write to answer this). But from the info you have given, I will try and answer as best as I can.
Most teenagers and pre-teens are by nature, sarcastic, some more than others and some less. And being a teenagers I can relate to that, so in all honesty, sarcasm while being a teeanger, is nothing more than joking around and alot of parents jump to the conclusion it is a sort of disrespectful spite that we have. It's not, so that's normal.
However, the strange, loud music, can be alot of things. I myself listen to alot of different kinds of music that is loud and to some people, quite strange (such as more foreign bands and groups). Now the only reason I would tell you to be concerned about that music would be if the music involves alot of words referencing to killing yourself for love or because of no one understanding you, lots of swear words, or flat out obscenity.
Fashion in both of these things is very varied these days. I have seen alot of different styles of dress and music and some of it yes is bad, but some of it really doesn't have a negative affect. You have to let her find out herself what she likes to do, how she likes to dress, and what she likes to listen to. That is all part of growing up and some mistakes and lessons will have to be learned on the persons own. I really don't have enough detail to tell you if I think she should be doing it or not, but if you add more, I'll write back on it.
I'm sorry for the length of that but I felt a little extra reading about teens these days would help you form a conclusion for your question. And I am glad to see a parents use this website once, because alot of times all I see on here are teenagers who probably should be talking to their parents instead of asking us about certain things, so it is nice to see a parent asking a question for once.
I hope this helped though, and sorry I couldn't have helped more.
-Ryan
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Hi,
This is from a person that knows. I wear black, and listin to bad, loud music. Please keep an eye on her. I have to talk to a theropist about my problems. As a matter of fact, this is the fashon these days but limit what she does. Because rock music can lead to bad things. But! All rock music isn't bad. Some is good. Just have a talk with her like my mom did and tell her something like, "I don't mind your music. I just don't want you to go to far with this. I'm not trying to 'ruin' your life. I just don't want to see you hanging with the wrong people."
=]
-GD
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Let her be. Fashion wise, anyway. There's nothing I hate more than when my parents have something mean to say about the way I dress, how my hair looks, or how my makeup is done. The only time you should say anything about her fashion choices is if she looks good, as in, compliment her, or if she is going out in public in an outfit that screams "HEY PEDOFILES! COME RAPE ME, I HAVE A NICE ASS!"
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yes and no... i would say that is more of the style for either people who are depressed or mainly think they are cool by doing things that arent (like drugs).. as long as you trust her i would say shes okay because she is only 13 and still figuring out who she is.. trust me my sister is going to be 13 next month and going through the same thing.. just watch her behavior and her friends and make sure shes not doing anything she shouldnt because confronting her would just make her more mad. if your worried i would talk to her teachers to make sure everything is okay at school before you take any action... if you need more advice about teenagers just drop on in my box... i swear i can tell you almost anything
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Dead Mother of the Norm,
The big one three, expect a lot of this, I went through that stage for 3 years of my life around the same age as your daughter. It never fails, its the age in which she will come into her own and figure out what she wants to be (literally), there is a lot to expect during this new age, expect a lot of I hate you, and other vulgar things. Loud music is the most normal part of this age, wait till the clothes get weirder (chains on shirts and pants, spikes on shoes, braclets, and necklaces). I hate to be the one to tell you but this is just the beginning of this fashion. Let her be, of course but do not criticize at all no matter how much you would like to, above all try and take a small interest in the styles. If you have anyother question ask me I probably know better than almost anyone, for I do work with Hot Topic and Torrid, electrik chair clothing lines so I can help you understand it and the music for I do work with metal, goth musicans because of my line of work.
Its all normal and ok.
Christopher Lee Espinoza
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♥ She is pretty much a normal teenager. But if it gets to out of hand or she seems to be pulling away from you then I would spend time and talk to her. Its just not really the fashion but shes just finding who she is through her style which is totally fine. Teenagers including myself are going to do that.
♥ good luck!
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I would just let her be herself. I know a few people who's parents don't let them be who they are (whether its emo, gay, punk, thug or whatever) and they basically do it behind their backs. It's better to know about it then to have her lie about it. She will get over it eventually.
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Theres no "in" fashion these days. Just sterotypical labels! Most likely she will grow out of it. Shes finding out who she is by experimenting not only through emotion but style. No worry!
♥
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You should just be normal. Shes 13 and going through a phase wich everyone goes through but dont worry it will pass, just give it time.
I think you are just a little too paranoid.
You should let her be.
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Im 13, and female also.
She may be either whats now consider "Emo" or "Punk" or "goth". More then likely its "punk" or "emo". i personally dont fit into those "sterotypes". But you need to allow your daughter to express herself, and find herself. Its not exactly in or out of fashion, really its just a sterotype thing, its even possible she can grow out of it.
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I'm 13 and I'm exactly how you explain this. Some people are different. You should let her be. And take this from me because I'm really like your daughter. My mom complains sometimes about my eyeliner. I would just let her be. =]
thanks for reading this.
<3.BRITT
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Yep, that's pretty much the style. It's called "emo" short for emotional. You can tell her what you like, but, she won't change. It'll probably make her want to rebel more. Everyone's into anarchy now-a-days. The sarcasisim comes naturally with any teenager no matter how they dress. In time she'll grow out of it.
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im 14. although most of my clothes are happy.. i know peers that do dress like that tho. i think its just a stage and eventually shell grow out of it.i do however listen to the strange loud music.. basically because i like it lol. id just let her be
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HEY...
HAHA YEAH THATS THE STYLE NOW DAYS..
THERES A BUNCH OF DiFFERENT STYLES SO iD BE 0PEN TO WHAT SHE CH0OSES...UNLESS iS NASTY LiKE S0ME TEENS WEAR =]
iF i WERE HER iD PROBABLY WANT YOU TO LET ME BE AND EXPERiMENT ON DiFF. STYLES
G0OD LUCK
=]
<3
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