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June 17, 2009

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You can ask me about ANYTHING, and I mean it. If I don't have an answer to give you, instead of making something up, I WILL find you somewhere to go where you will be able to find out what you need. My inbox is always open, and you are quite welcome to IM me on AIM. I think thats about all you need to know, but if you've got other questions...well...see above. =)

advice

i cut myself...and i was doing it really bad but now not as bad..i dont know what to do or how to fix it, i have scares all over and i want help but i dont how to get it.....and i really need some help!!!

Self-injury is something very difficult to deal with, I would know. My advice to you is to find a therapist that is well versed in adolescents and self-injury. The help a therapist provides is invaluble, and incredibly hard to find for oneself. If this isn't necessarily an option for you right now, I suggest picking up a book called "Bodily Harm: The Breakthrough Healing Program for Self-Injurers." It's written by the founders of S.A.F.E Alternatives, and it provides a lot of good insightful information as well as several tools to help one on their path to ceasing the cycle of self-injury.

The most important thing I learned from that book is to give yourself some TIME between the thoughts and feelings you have that make you want to self injure, and the actual act of self injuring. This time is invaluble and can often curb the impulse. One effective means to providing this space is to fill out an Impulse Control Log for yourself, which would include the time, date, place, situation, what self-injury would accomplish, what feelings you are having that make you want to self-injure, and the outcome of doing the impulse control log. Also build yourself a set of alternatives that seek to answer the need that self-injury fills for you.

Talk to a school guidance counselor or your parents about finding you reputable help, because it is extremely difficult to stop by yourself. There is also a hotline you can call that is good in times of crisis, times where you are feeling reflective and empowered to get help for yourself,and is an alternative that again provides the space between the emotions you feel and the action you take. The hotline is 1-800-DONT-CUT.

Good luck, and please do seek help.

I have had recent issues with my monitor and don't know how to fix. While watching movies on Netflix during the movie my monitor blacks out until i move the mouse. What can be the problem? Please help.

That's simply your monitor going to sleep. The easiest fix is obviously, to move your mouse. But if you don't want to have to even deal with the black screen, go into your control panel appearance settings (I'm assuming you're running Windows XP or Vista) and change the amount of idle time before your computer monitor reverts to the screensaver or goes to sleep.

Okay well i'm 14 years/female old and my chest has just recently started hurting.. Heart problems doesnt run in my family so I know it's not that.. the pain is on and off. and for the past week ive been avoiding unhealthy foods, and eaating only the healthy foods becuase im scared of something happening.. I haven't hit my growth spurt yet, like I havent gotten boobs or anything yet could that be why my chest is hurting? or could it because anxiety? I have been really stressed out lately. My mom is taking me to the doctor thursday, but i'd like some advice on what it could be so I can quit stressing out about it until my doctor day.. I'd appreciate your help :)

Chest pains can be a myriad of things, none of which anyone but a doctor would be able to tell you what they might be caused from. You haven't described your chest pains very well (Central? To the sides? Off to one side? Achey? Sharp? Tight?) so it's even harder to suggest a potential cause. My suggestion would be just to relax as much as you can, regardless of whether or not your chest pains are stress related, it's always a good thing to de-stress. Find comfort in the fact that the doctor is only a couple days away and he or she will be able to put your mind at ease very soon, and in the meantime there isn't much you can do. Find activities to keep your mind off it until Thursday. :) Good luck.

My mom really just baffles me for the longest time. I dont get why she sounds like she insults me. Like one time I told here when you tell me something you sound like you are trying to attacke me. Then with fury she saw me get mad at her and she was like what I am trying to attack you. Seriously I really think that she has gone far with her verbal abuse. How would you feel if you walk up to your own mom and she goes hey bitch nice hair. what do you feel? Thats how she sounds to me. Like today she was working on the lights and she was like hold this light covers but I did not like how her voice sounded it didnt sound like she was just saying help me you know. She is always like this and when I cry to her everything becomes my fault. I am so hurt by this. she blames shit on me. I feel so alone and I want to die. I told her I want theraphy but she wont take me there. I tried everything to feel ok with her calling the nineline and posting there but it does not work cause they just tell me to move out. But I am lost cause I dont think the immigration will allow me to work yet.

I know where you're coming from. One of the best, and only things you can do in attempt to "change" your mother is to let her know how you feel. Rather than telling her in person where you may be interrupted or get emotional, try writing her a heartfelt, well thought out letter. Do not get mean or accusing, simply use "I" statements, such as "I feel like the tone you take with me sometimes is hurtful."

However, you must remember, that the only person you have complete control over is yourself. If you go to school, seek a guidance counselor or other counseling from what the school provides. Find where your options lie as far as your ability to work and live on your own -- a guidance counselor can be of assistance with this as well. It also may prove beneficial to search for crisis hotlines and centers which are local to you, so that you are able to speak with someone who would better know your local resources.

Above all else, remember that where you are at is not forever. Relationships with parents often do change for the better once the child is able to move out, and that day will come for you. Hold your head up and know that things will be better for you sooner rather than later, and that regardless of what she says or how she treats you, you are your own complete person whom is capable of nearly anything you can dream of.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years and has had sex for 2 years. When we have sex now white fluffy stuff comes out of me and it has a bad odor....can u give me some advice on what to do or if you know what it can be!

Any time you notice something unusual, especially something foul-smelling and unusual, the best thing to do is to go straight to your gynecologist. If you and your boyfriend have been exclusive with each other, STD's are not necessarily something you should be concerned about, however, there are several infections and other abnormalities that can happen with something so fragile as your vagina. Keep an eye on it and make note of any changes, and in the meantime, make an appointment with your gynecologist. If necessary, places like Planned Parenthood offer free/discounted exams as well.

my hair is naturally straight but if i don't blowdry it and leave it in a bun its wavy/curly but only for a little bit. how can i get it to stay that way? please don't just say hair spray, be specific with what kind and when to spray it and how and stuff thanks alott

Put some mousse in your hair, specifically one that says something like "Curl defining/enhancing". I personally like Aussie's mousse. Towel dry your hair when you get out of the shower, then work the mousse into your damp hair with your hands, scrunching as you go. Put it in a bun or however you decide to make it wavy until it dries. If you need, finish with a little hairspray (I like Pureology), or an anti-frizz serum spray (Again, I like Pureology's Gloss-Shine).

Ok, me and my boyfriend had sex two days ago and it was my first time. Well i kind of figured that i might be sore afterwards, but when i pee..should it hurt? It kind of hurts my bladder area? Is this all normal?

It's quite possible that you have a bladder infection. During sex, the movement and friction can irritate the urethra and push bacteria into it. It is somewhat common for women to develop bladder infections after sex. Visit a doctor and let them know you think you may have a bladder infection asap, because if that is indeed the problem, the pain will escalate quickly. In the meantime, you can take an over the counter pill called Uristat to relieve any pain. And for further notice, pee immediately after sex -- it helps to wash some of the bacteria out.

Im a relatively thin person, but i have an annoying patch of armpit fat which isnt part of my boobs, but isnt part of my arms. what can i do to get rid of it? because it really affects what shirts i wear :/

This is very common in women, and nothing you can do about it except learn to accept it. Look at even models and movie stars (Look at Tyra Banks!), a lot of them have that as well. Trust me when I say that nobody is looking at you going "Ew look at that," because most of them have it too. Don't worry!

My face is SO dry. I look like a snake shedding it's skin and it's really scary looking. I moved to a really windy place recently and my face went nuts. It's so dry that when I open my mouth it feels like it's cracking open. It hurts so bad and I've had to check a few times if it was actually bleeding! The flakes of dry skin coming off are HUGE! It's embarrassing!

I've tried putting aloe vera gel on it but it seems like it dries it out even more. I bought a vitamin E stick from WalMart and rubbed it on my face but it doesn't moisturize enough and made my face hurt even more. Now I'm putting hand lotion (from Avon) on my face--slathering it on thickly. I'm afraid that the lotion is going to make me break out though since it has all of those perfumes in it.

How can I moisturize my extremely dry face?

Exfoliate with St. Ives Apricot Scrub once a week, and use a moisturizer with a sunscreen daily. I recommend Neutrogena products, and you can find one that will suit your skin well. Also, as scary as it sounds, using Vaseline on your skin at night will actually make it wonderfully soft so long as you keep it off of your T zone, and so long as you aren't naturally very prone to breakouts. You can also try google searching "Homemade Oil Cleansers," there are cleansers you can make with jojoba and olive oils and the like that are fantastic for your skin, and can help keep it perpetually moisturized. (Don't worry that this sounds gross/unclean/acne inducing -- read up a bit, this is untrue!)

13|f
My sister and my mom are always whining. A couple of mintues ago my mom was saying, Guys you have to throw paper plates in the burn bag not the garbage!
My sister was saying, Sissy, come play with me again! Im bored! get off the computer!
WHY?!?!?!? They never stop whining! I never whine that much. Its just so annoying. somebody give me advice to stop their whining!!!!!

You cannot change somebody else, you can only change yourself. Do what your mom asks of you, and don't procrastinate or whine back. If your mom requests something, say, "Okay." and get up and get it done. Things run much smoother this way. Set aside time to play with your sister, and when she asks you again tell her you can't do it right away but maybe later.

This may not stop their whining, but you just have to change around your attitude towards it.

how long after sex is the morning after pill effective, isnt there a 72 hour pill? if so where can you buy it?

The "Morning After" pill is effective up to five days after having unprotected sex. However, the sooner you take it, the more effective it is. You can get it at a Planned Parenthood near you, or at your local pharmacy depending on your age and state laws.

I was wondering if anyone could lead me towards some good psychedelic reads.Sort of in the vein of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.Just something that's generally nonsensical and trippy.Nothing futuristic though.

You may or may not like House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski.

does anybody know when/if the band Mcfly(from the movie just my luck) is comming to the united states or Michigan. (because Mcfly is from London, U.K?)

You can check the bands website to find out tour dates. So basically, google will answer your question but here is their website:

www.mcflyofficial.com

(my chest)

im super flat,its not even funny. how do you get bigger boobs, without getting plastic surgery and such. is there anything natural you can do?

and please don't say i should just accept myself, and live with it.

Working out your chest muscles through certain exercises will give a fuller appearence, but not so much that of breasts. However, you may be happy with what this can do for you. Google 'Pectoral exercises'.

Other than Siberius, what music notation/composition software do you recommend? I'm in the market for something easy to use that works well. Links to free trials would be greatly appreciated!

Oh, and yes, I have googled. I'm asking for personal experience, not just a lundry list of names.

:)

I don't have a WHOLE lot of experience with Guitar Pro, but from what I have worked with, its pretty nice. The one downfall it has is that it is meant to be more oriented with the guitar so you can't get rid of the TAB lines below the music staff. However, its got lots of neat perks.

www.guitarpro.com should be the website, if you google Guitar Pro, it should come up with several things as well.

I just got an iPod video 80GB. Anyways, when I play videos and hold the iPod, it feels like something vibrates or turns or something in the iPod every 5 minutes. Is this normal? What is it..?

There are two types of mp3 players currently on the market. There are hard drive players, and flash players. Ipods are hard drive players, and therefore have moving parts. Thats what you're feeling.

I'm just wondering if any of you have tried Vitamin Water and if it tastes really good? And if it's good for you or can harm you. Any info. you have on it will help. Thanks :)

The stuff is amazing. And great for you. My favorite flavor is either Dragonfruit or Kiwi-Strawberry. (Deep red and Pink.)

if u r babysitting wut r the phone #s u should have on hand

like umm dunno. ok 911. um pest control? no..um posion something or other?

i should know how to do first aid right? btw what is first aid - like help a choking person with the heimlich manuever and like CPR??

Numbers you should have on hand:

Police
911
Parents cell phone numbers
Number of where parents are going
Local Poison Control
A neighbor of where you're babysitting

First aid:

You should know how to properly care for all types of wounds from minor to severe, including puncture wounds.
You should know how to treat burns
Know how to attend to an unconcious child
Know the heimlich manuever
Know CPR
Know what to do in the case of possible strains/sprains/or broken bones
Know how to care for an ill child

Your local YMCA should have a summer camp open called Babysitters Camp, its a great resource for present and future babysitters. They will teach you everything you need to know from all your first aid techniques, activities to do with the children, things to cook, how to change diapers, all of that. Also look into Red Cross training sessions for babysitters, and see if your local hospital might have a babysitting class.

okay well i was randomly thinking back to the 90's haha and i was wondering if anyone knew what that magic sand that you could put in water and then grab some out of the water and it would come out completely dry? anyone know the name of it im interested in buying some. thanks!

Squand? I think that might be what its called. I recall that thats what the name was for that sand that you can make formations in the water with and I do belive it would come out dry.

Try googling it, I'm pretty sure they still make it, I remember buying some 'Spongebob' Squand not too long ago.

What is the best version of DDR for PS2. I'm thinking about getting DDR Max 2, so is it any good? I know it's an older version but I don't care if it's old or new, I just want a good version. Help?

I have DDR Max 2. Thats the one in the ORANGE box. I also have regular DDR which is the one in the Purple box. My favorite one is DDR Max 2. You can unlock all the songs simply by playing at whatever level you are able to play at, unlike other DDR games where you have to beat certain songs at certain levels to unlock the rest. The songs on the game are also good, you won't get bored with them! Thats my suggestion.

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