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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm a 17 year old female and i have been concerned with my menstrual cycles. i started my period in 5th grade, and ever since I've started having a period, its been so unregulated. I can go months without a period. When im on my period, it will only last about a week or so. I never keep track of my period because i never knew how long or how off i was supposed to be. I talked to my mom about it, and she sounds like she understands, but has not done anything about it. It concerns me because i dont think this is normal lol

Your 17 almost an Adult and have been getting a period for about 7 years. By know your period should become more regular. By regular meaning once every 21 to 28 days.

Since you are almost an adult and by a Law called HIPPA you have the right to see a doctor with or without parental permission for anything concerning your reproductive system. HIPPA is a Federal Law passed so young people like yourself could seek medical help when needed for problems or questions concerning their reproductive health. Your mom may think nothing is wrong so under this law you have the right to seek medical help without her permission.

You need to see a gynecologist and let the doctor decide if you have a problem. You could ask your family doctor to refer you to one or you could contact your local hospitals patient referral line to be referred to one. Most important is you want to see a Board Certified Gynecologist. This is a doctor who has had special training and spent a year in a Fellowship learning this specialty. It is your choice to see a male or female doctor so ask for which ever you prefer.

There may be nothing wrong with you. At 17 you may still be in puberty and this is the result of being in puberty. You need a definite answer so you know and know how to proceed with life.

The fact that you are not getting periods does not mean you cannot get pregnant. If this is what your menstrual cycle is to be yo9u need to know this. You need to know how to protect yourself from pregnancy so you can enjoy an adult sex life when the time comes.

My advice is: If mom won't take you to see a gynecologist make your own appointment to see one.

My undergraduate tutorial is due on April 29th, 2015. Right now I am in the process of writing it. I graduate in two semesters and need to hand in my final thesis in order to graduate with an honors degree.

Although I am not as far as I would like to be, I am attempting to come up with ideas as to what I could write about for my thesis. I have formulated an idea and would like to know what others think about this.

Since I am a Business Administration major, pursuing concentrations in Finance and MIS, I have thought to discuss digital currency, which is a very interesting topic. When referring to digital currency think along the lines of bitcoin, which is a cryptocurrency (basically a math-based currency that exists on a computer hard drive as a form of exchange).

I am thinking that I could possibly narrow down this topic, since there are many ideas that I can talk about to the idea of the government using it for their own currency. This idea was first set forth in the 1990s, with the establishment of e-cash (basically like a debit card, that differed in that it existed as offline technology that could be used as a form of exchange… if I have any idea as to what I am talking about). Ecuador has already established their own currency, done after their government banned bitcoin and other currencies.

This idea is extremely interesting because one of the attractions of the most commonly used digital currencies, cryptocurrencies, have been based on the idea of anonymity, but may now allow the government to track individuals guilty of financial crimes. Technically the user is only anonymous, if they cannot be traced to owning the digital currency.

I hope I did not confuse anybody, but I wanted to know what people thought of this as a potential topic.

Another issue I have is that I am expected to have an advisor, who is supposed to read over and sign my tutorial, and this man has done nothing towards it. I was warned by the secretary of the honors program that I am writing it for, but was stuck because he was only finance professor able to consent.

I feel bad for him, but nervous for myself, since this is supposed to be a minimum of 35 pages. Unfairly, perhaps, he is also getting paid for this since he is listed on my schedule as the professor for this independent study. I cannot ask any other professor help, since it would be a lengthy process that’s way too difficult right now. I keep on trying to submit it to him, whenever I get anywhere with it, but he never answers me. I think that he has to sign off on it before I can submit it. What exactly can I do about this? Suggestions?

I spoke to my best friend about it, and he told me that I should bring it to the dean.

My boyfriend says that he’s going to look over it, but he’s only a college senior, who has no power over whether or not my tutorial is accepted, and doesn't even go to my school.

I’m so nervous about this, since I really don’t want for the advisor to screw me. This whole thing determines whether or not I graduate when I want to (I will already be 25 years old, and it will have taken me 4.5 years to graduate), and it is something that I want very badly and other people are depending on me to do.

Honestly, I'm not proud of myself because it's due at the end of next month and I'm not even 10 pages into it. I need to do a lot of research on it, because I need to write summaries for each one that are a max of 100-150 words.

First your advisor> I agree with friend is correct. The professor is being paid to do something. Just like any other service you pay for if you are not happy with the service or the service is not being provided you complaint to the supervisor, owner or management. In your case you go to the Dean of that department and complain. If they feel replacing the professor is needed they can do so without any of the problems you are thinking of. You need to make the complaint.

It all starts with you making the complaint. Your position has to be that you are the one paying for this service. Be it directly or through your tuition. That makes you the customer as well as the student. IF the professor is not living up to the standards you require then both the customer and student are not being served to the level promised in the contract for instruction; which is a bilateral contract. As long as you are living up to your end of the agreement; attending class, getting good grades and not having any disciplinary problems then the school must supply what they promised.

As to your theses. I have a moderate interest in a world without a government monetary system. I believe that someday this will happen. bitcoin is the first foray into this system and government is trying to hinder this. What I know about the workings of this or a digital monetary system would fit on the point of a pin. Then again I'm in my 60's and I don't believe I will live to see this monetary system come to be.

You probably will see the end of the government monetary system as we know it today. The little bit you wrote here sounds interesting. I don't know if I would totally understand your theses but I would find it interesting to read.

I want my best guy friend to believe that I truly like him he's 13 I'm 12, he told me to do so I must arouse him. I will not go further, but how do I give him a bonar? Please no comments about my age. Btw I'm a girl.

Sorry but age is a factor in this answer. Your boyfriend should not need you to do anything to give him a boner at his age. Teenage boys get them without any thought several times an hour; it a hormonal thing which is part of puberty. At his age he should be going through puberty.

I remember when I was his age most of us boys walked around school with our books in front of our pants to hide the fact that we had boners. I'm fairly certain the same is still true with boys at your school.

Walking hand in hand in the hallways with my girlfriend was enough to cause an erection (proper name for a boner), once again more hormonal than a sexual thing. You should not have to do anything. Nor at your age should you be doing anything more than simply kissing and hugging him to give him an erection.

If simple kissing and hugging is not doing it then he needs to have a talk with his dad and a check up by his doctor to see why he is not going through puberty. It would be rare but not unusual for a boy his age not to be in puberty. He would be a late bloomer just as a girl who doesn't get her period until she is 15 or 16 is considered a late bloomer.

At your age you should be doing no more than holding hands, hugging and kissing. Other things you should be aware of about boys. If a boy is asking you to do as your boyfriend is; this is called sexual harassment for one thing. HE should not be asking you to do these things. It also means like all teenage boys he is confusing love and lust. Next he will be asking to feel your breasts or to see them. If you say no he may say if you love me you will let me. Here again this is more lustful than love. It goes on from there until he is asking you to haves sex with him to prove your love for him. Sex is not how you prove your love for someone. Sex is the outgrowth of love.

Just be careful you boyfriend may be leading you down a road you should not be going.

Hello! I really hope this question doesn't offend anyone - I have very bad health anxiety.

One of my classmates is HIV positive. They were handing me something and scraped my finger with their nail. I didn't bleed. I know they bite their nails (so there might have been saliva on their nails), although I'm not sure if that's relevant. I checked online and all sources say that you cannot get HIV from a scratch, but I'm still extremely anxious about it.

It is too soon to get an HIV test, but I am really freaking out. Moreover, I don't know what to tell my boyfriend. We are long distance and I'm not sure if I will see him before I can get tested. I'm afraid of telling him about my "possible" exposure because he is also quite anxious about STDs, and to top it off, I don't think that I have actually been exposed. I just cannot stop worrying. What should I do?

Any words of advice would be much appreciated :)

In order for the virus to be transferred there has to be an open cut for fluid transfer. A scratch is not an open cut therefore there could not be any fluid transfer. Hopefully you washed your hands afterwards with hot soapy water to which is a good hygiene practice when around anyone with a communicable illness not just HIV/AIDS.

I am nearly 24 years old, and I have an almost 30 year old sister who makes really stupid choices.
For the past six years, she has been dating a man who my family and I strongly disapprove of. This man is a thirty-five (almost thirty-six) high school drop-out who doesn’t work, can’t keep a job, and lives off of her support. Not only that, but he is a recovering alcoholic and has been physically abusive towards her in the past. Yet, she insists that she’s going to marry him.
Although I see no attempts on his part, I think that at their ages if they were going to get married, he would have worked at maintaining a job. They would have already tied the knot years ago. Instead I think that she’s going to wake up in a few years, realize that she is an unmarried old maid, and that this relationship has strongly screwed her up her life.
Lately I feel like this relationship is taking a toll on her health.
She says it’s not, but she’s the type of woman who becomes dependent on a man and will lie that he is doing things that we already know he is responsible for. They live out of state, so it is difficult to know what is going on. Since she has started dating I strongly doubt that she has ever had a stable, healthy relationship.
This weekend she had a bad panic/anxiety attack that may have been brought on by a hereditary thyroid condition. I know that this health condition could be caused by stress, and I think that her boyfriend is and always will be the primary cause of her stress, whether she admits it or not.
I am so tempted to attempt to break them up, but I think that this will be a bad idea.
I found out his phone number, and I want to text him and tell him that if he really loves her, he will break up with her, cut off all ties with her, move out, and tell her that he’s no longer in love with her, because he’s the primary cause of her stress..
Having had a boyfriend of four years, I am having second thoughts about doing this. We are not married or living together, solely for financial reasons. Yet my boyfriend and I are younger, and are both still in school.
I feel like it will seriously hurt her and result in no positives.
Should I restrain myself from doing so? Does even thinking of this scheme make me a bad person?

You are not a bad person; you have the best interest of your sister at heart. Loving your sister is never wrong though what you would like to do is as it will not have the outcome you wish for.

The foreseeable outcomes are:
She will hate you for breaking then up if you break then up causing her more stress.

He will tell her of your meddling and she will hate you causing a rift between you. This rift will cause both of unneeded stress and anxiety.

He is most likely a controller as well as a leech. If I am correct there is nothing you can do to break them up. Yes I'm sure your sister can do better than him but there is nothing you can do about it until she admits it to herself.

The best thing you can do for your sister is be supportive. Be there when the bottom of her world falls out from under her and it will at some point. When that happens she will need all the love and support you can give her and no of the "I told you so.

I want to apologize in advance for the length of this. I know it's not good to dislike a relative and I feel bad about it, but he's not a very good person. This might not make sense, but I love him, I just don't like him at all.

Here's the thing, he's not a good father and he treats my mother like dirt on the bottom of his shoe. Ever since my grandma died, my mom's had to take over taking care of him and I know it's hard. She has to cook, clean, wash dishes and clothes, run errands, go grocery shopping, and take him to the doctor among other things. He refuses to live with my parents and although I can't say I blame him, it means she basically has to keep two houses running. She sacrifices a LOT and doesn't get to go out or go on vacation like she wants to because of him. Yet he is extremely unappreciative and often complains and makes her feel bad about not pampering him enough or not doing it right.

I HATE to say this about him, but he's kind of a burden. He gets in the way of his family's lives sometimes. He's a real home body and has never liked going on vacation, even when he was younger. I can kind of understand that as I too am a bit of a home body, but when someone you love is counting on you to be somewhere, I CAN'T understand or agree with not being there for them. My Granddad, however just doesn't care at all. My mom had to DRAG him to my cousin's wedding because he was too selfish to be there for her, his own granddaughter. I don't even have grandchildren yet, but I know that when I do, you wouldn't be able to DRAG me AWAY from them on their wedding days. But it's just not something that's important to my granddad and this is just an example of his selfishness. He can, has, and does hurt and disappoint his family by refusing to go to important events. I didn't even bother trying to get him to agree to go to my wedding at the grand canyon because I knew he wouldn't do it.

As much as my mom sacrifices for him, he gets mad as hell anytime she does one small thing for herself. In January, my parents planned a weekend trip, but it wasn't even FOR them. My sister's birthday was on the 10th (a Saturday) and my brother in law planned a trip for them and invited me, his parents, and mine to go as well. I decided to stay home because I had things to do, but my parents went only for my sister.

That saturday night, my granddad was sick and was contemplating going to the emergency room. My mom called me and asked me to stay the night at his house in case he needed someone, so I did. Sunday morning he decided to go to the ER and I had to call an ambulance for him. When we got there, we were told he had a perforated bowel (hole in the intestines) and had to have emergency surgery to fix it. My parents hadn't even started their painful 12 hour drive home yet and didn't get here till after midnight (I called the ambulance at about 9:30). The first person to get to town was my uncle who was here at about 6:30. He sent me home to relax and when I got there, I felt like I hadn't slept in days. The stress of the situation combined with lack of sleep was exhausting. As bad as I felt, I couldn't imagine how my mom must have been feeling. She was under MORE stress as it was her dad and she was feeling very guilty for leaving him. Also, at least I got to go to bed that night. She went to the hospital and stayed with him all night long. While she was there, he woke up. He was on a ventilator, so he couldn't speak and pointed to a note pad that he wanted my mom to hand him. When she did, he angrily wrote, "You ran out on me, but Amy took good care of me!" My mom was already feeling guilty enough and it's not like anyone knew that was going to happen. She NEVER gets to go anywhere BECAUSE OF HIM and it was just a fluke that she happened to be out of town when that happened, but he basically just attacked her and treated her like dirt for leaving at all, ever, under any circumstances.

That was one of few things resembling a compliment that he's ever given me. I was borderline flattered and angered at the same time. His compliments come as often as sunshine during a rain storm and THAT compliment was wrapped in an insult. It came at the cost of my mom's feelings.

He never says I love you or anything like that. My sister has tried to get him to say it to her by saying it first, but he'd just say, "Okay" and leave. He'd rather hurt your feelings and look like a jerk than say it just once. We'd excuse it for him by saying that he just grew up in a generation when guys were taught not to say it, but our other granddad grew up in the same generation and I NEVER remember him having a problem saying it. Here's what I do remember about him though. I remember him pushing people out of the way to get to me and give me a hug, I remember him squeezing me so tight that I couldn't breathe, I remember him hugging my neck so tight it felt like he was going to break it, I remember him putting one hand each of my cheeks and kissing my forehead so hard he practically left a bruise. The closest thing to a hug that my other granddad ever gave me was when he puts his hand on my shoulder for balance.

He's also got all of these annoying ass habits that aren't reason to dislike him, but the fact that he's already not my favorite person makes them harder to put up with. I'm a bit of a germ freak and he's often sick. He coughs and sneezes without covering his face, he uses silverware he's been eating with to scoop food out of containers we ALL have to get our food out of, and after he eats, he spits little pieces of food out of his mouth and always spits them towards me. Once I made a second trip to a chicken restaurant to get some gravy they'd forgotten to give us. When I got back, he was the first person to use the gravy and he held it just a couple of inches from his face and coughed in it multiple times. I don't know if it was an accident, his way of getting the gravy all to himself, or just a big f--- you to me.

He's disgusting and likes to talk about his IBS, diarrhea, gas, and other such things during dinner. I had to take him to the doctor once when he had to bring the doc a stool sample. Being a germ freak, I didn't want to touch it, do my mom put it in multiple sacks to ensure I didn't have to touch anything the stool sample touched as well as to ensure that I didn't have to see it. It didn't work as he took the stool sample out of the sack my mom put it in to look at it.

Another annoying habit is that he's a racist and a homophobe. I'm sure a lot of old people are, but takes it to the extreme and is down right mean to gays and people of other races. He's kind of creepy and gives me anxiety by constantly staring at me and watching EVERYTHING I do. He is as hard of hearing as a person can be without being deaf and I'm always having to yell to him, which wouldn't be bad if there was nothing we could do about it. However, he has hearing aids that he refuses to wear or refuses to turn up high enough. Also, he makes all of these gross, annoying sounds while he eats which is a pet peeve of mine. I could go on, but I'll stop there.

I try to be patient with him because I'm afraid that if I'm not, karma will come back to bite me in the ass HARD when I have my own grandkids, but he drives me nuts and now I'm facing yet ANOTHER problem. My mom wants me to name my son after him.

My mom doesn't know how I feel about him and I can't tell her because it'd hurt her feelings. I want to name my fifth son Luke Philip, but my mom wants me to name him Luke Avery after grampa or grumpa as I recently started calling him (because he's grumpy). Philip is after a beloved friend of mine, practically a brother to me and my husband who was murdered a while back. Unlike grumpa, Philip was an AMAZING guy. He was sweet, sensitive, loving, generous and had a heart of gold as well as all of the qualities I'd LOVE my son to have. I'm not willing to use Avery or Philip as a first name and people have suggested I need him Luke Avery Philip or Luke Philip Avery, but I just don't want to use the name Avery. I don't know how to tell my mom that I want to name my sweet baby boy after one of the greatest people I've ever known of and not after a man I call grumpa who's ruining our lives. I've asked people what to do and they've called me disrespectful, rude, and acted like I was the ass hole for feeling this way about him. AM I the ass hole?

No you’re not a Jerk. There is an old saying that is appropriate for what you have written. "We get to choose our friends but not our relatives." Yes it is possible to love someone and not like them. This is especially true of parents and children. There will be times when you will not like you child or a child but it will not mean you do not love that child. As children get older and expand their horizons they do or say things that cause us to be unhappy with them, that do not change how much we love them.

The same is true for other relatives. There may have been a time probably when you were much younger when you not only loved your grandfather but you liked him as well. As you got older and saw him in a different, more adult manner what you saw you didn't like. That does not mean you lost your affection for him. Love and like have two very distinctive and different meanings.

As to the other things you write about some of them have to do with age and illness. Some people age gracefully. It appears your grandfather is not aging very well and is not well adding to the problem.

My best advice is to try and help your mother. You can explain to your grandfather you will have to repeat this to him that your mother cannot continue to care from him and take care of her house as well without a break. She needs time to rest she is only human. From time to time you will spend a night or weekend with him and care for him so your mom can have some time to herself or with your dad.

Here again the word "like" comes in. He doesn't have to like it and he may not want to accept it. He has no choice for that is the way it must be. There are other grandchildren and his other children, if they live nearby, should be asked to chip in their time to care for him as well. The burden to care for your granddad should not fall strictly on your mother or you. Her siblings and their children can certainly take a weekend out of their schedules to help and or take him to doctors’ appointments.

Have a conversation with your mother about this. It is wrong for her father to put this all on her especially if she has siblings that can chip in and help.

To answer your question again, you are not a bad person. You are concerned for your mom. It is very possible to love someone and not like them.

how to hide i m not vergin

That circle of skin Ocalaphernella talks about is your Hymen and is not necessary proof you are a virgin. At one time it was back in the dark ages before women became liberated not just sexually liberated. Today's women is more active and many of those activities can cause the Hymen to rupture. Today's feminine hygiene products such as Tampons can rupture the Hymen and the only thing the women will feel during first sex is the pain of her vagina being stretched.

For a man to expect his wife to bleed on their wedding night is out dated. She can still be a virgin and may have lost her Hymen back during puberty while doing such things as bike or horseback riding. Ballet Dancing, gymnastics, field hockey and other activities can rupture the Hymen.

Even if your future husband were to take you to a doctor all the doctor could tell him is your Hymen has been ruptured. The doctor could not say if it was ruptured by sex, use of tampons or anything else. No one can tell through examination whether or not you are a virgin.

Hiding something like this from your future husband is probably not the best way to start a marriage. It is understandable why you would want to or need to do so if you come from a culture that puts a value on virginity.

I'm 15/f
I got caught having sex with my boyfriend in a private property by the police and my boyfriend is 18. Yes I know that's illegal & a big age difference. He got arrested & my parents didn't press charges but they're super disappointed in me as you can imagine... They didn't know I was sexually active. If I had the confidence to talk about it I would of . I can't blame them for MY mistake but honestly my parents favor my sister all the damn time. Oh she makes money oh she does better in school than I do. Literally everything she does is better than I do. I've always tried to be good enough but I'm never enough. I feel like maybe I just stopped caring about that they wanted from me because they'll never be as good as my sister. Of course they have the right to favor her now & of course they care about me also but I don't know what to do with myself I honestly want to commit suicide I'm so tired of everything

Your boyfriend is very lucky; the police could have pressed charges of their own but that is another story altogether. Based on what you have written I think I know why you gave into your boyfriend and had sex with him. Knowing why and approving are two different things.

The why is simple you wanted the love you feel you're missing from your parents along with his approval and possibly you were afraid if you said no you would lose him. This is the part I can understand and I partially blame your parents for it is not right for parents to favor one child over another. Unfortunately I know all too well how that feels as I came from an entire family, my parents, Aunts and Uncles who did so.

Like you I eventually threw in the towel and said the heck with them. I was also older than you when I reached the realization that there was nothing I could do to change things in the eyes of my parents or family. The fact is I was a good kid also the oldest in the family so I got brushed aside for the younger members.

What I finally decided is the only person I have to better than is me. Meaning is if I can be a better person tomorrow than the person I am today, then I have grown and I have learned. This became a motto that I lived by. My self-esteem got better, my work ethic got better. I excelled in any classes I took whether they were work related or just to better educate myself.

My problem was not only was I competing with my sister but I was I was trying to outshine my father and every time I got close he knocked me back. When I adopted my motto he could no longer knock me back for I was no longer trying to outshine him. Then a strange thing happened, I finally received his respect which I did not fully accept but again that is a different story.

Suicide is not an answer. It is the wrong solution to a problem. You gain nothing by it and maybe you hurt some people but that hurt heels after a time. I suggest you adopt my motto or one like it. Stop competing with your sister and be your own person. Be the very best you that you can be and the heck with everyone else.

I would also suggest you find a boyfriend closer to your own age and not have sex again until you're older. For I really feel that the sex was more to feel love and not sex for the real benefit of sex or that you were truly ready as a young lady for sex.

I'm turning 16 in a month & I had sex with my boyfriend in the end of January. We used a condom but it broke & we didn't notice til after... Since then I didn't get my period on the date I was suppose to get it on which was February 8th. I thought I might just be a few day late but still no period. I've taken many pregnancy tests & they all came out positive... I'm so scared I don't know how to tell my parents they're going to be so disappointed & I'm scared they'll kick me out
Is there any advice from anyone's experience ?

I cannot tell you exactly what will happen when you tell your parents. What cannot happen is they cannot put you out of their home, that is child neglect and child abandonment. Both are serious charges way more than the fact that you are or may be pregnant.

What you can expect is there may be some screaming, lecturing, handwringing and mom may do some crying. You may do some crying of your own but try not to add to the turmoil by screaming back at your parents. Its not going to do you, them or the baby any good.

The next thing you can expect when they cool down a bit and believe they are of cooler heads is they will tell you what you are going to do about this. WRONG, THE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO SAY IN THE MATTER BY LAW.

Since you are over 14 years of age a Federal Law called (by Acronym) HIPPA gives you total medical confidentiality over your reproductive system. This means among many things regarding medical issues of your reproductive system; your reproductive rights in this matter are also protected. Your parents cannot force you to have an abortion, stop you from having one, you do not even have to tell them you're pregnant if you can afford to have an abortion as you do not need to tell them. They cannot force you to keep the baby or give it up for adoption should you decide to go through with the pregnancy. These are your rights and they are protected by Federal Law.

Now back to your fear of being told to leave the house. Should that happen and should you feel that is the safest thing at that moment for you to do. You have options. You can dial 911 and tell the call taker what is going on. Officers will be sent to the home to check on your safety and explain the legal facts of life to your parents. If they feel you're not safe they will take you some place safe.

If it is not safe for you to call 911 then go to the nearest police or fire station, these are safe havens. Tell them you have been kicked out of your home and why. The police will as I explained take you home. IF they feel it is not safe to leave you their they will take you someplace safe until it is safe for you to return home.

You parent are not going to be happy they have no rights regarding your pregnancy but doctors will back you up. In order to listen to your parents they need to have you written permission and you cannot be bullied into giving it.

good luck.

15/f
I've been sick since I went on my winter break around December 20th. Typical coughing, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose. I've gotten better & back to sick thought the months. I've been taking medications but I still can't get better. I stated getting really bad headaches & I went to the doctor & my doctor said that it was all because my sinuses were still clogged or whatever. It was only 6 pills, one day was 2 then the next few days were just one pill. My headaches were gone but now I'm still a little sick & I've been getting horrible head aches but now I have really bad nausea as well. Sometimes it's when I wake up. Sometimes it doesn't happen until I eat. I feel it might be my sinuses and also because I don't sleep very well has anyone gone through this? Does anyone know what it might be? I was reading & I'm scared it could be something serious like a brain tumor.

Whatever is causing your problem may be beyond the knowledge of a family practitioner. It is time to call on the heavy hitter. A doctor that specializes in the problem area you are suffering with.

I'm not a doctor but my son suffered from severe sinus problem and like you also had stomach issues. This does not mean his diagnoses and your will be the same. What it does mean is that like him it is time to go to the next level of care and she a specialist an ENT doctor. ENT, stands for Ear, Nose and Throat.

I suggest you look for an ENT that is Board Certified in this Specialty for what this means is this doctor has taken specialized course, completed a years Fellowship and passed all the test required to be Certified by the College of ENT Surgeons. Many states allow a doctor to specialize in an area of medicine as long as they did a rotation in that specialty during residency. A Board Certified Doctor is the better choice to treat you.

Unless your Health Insurance requires ay our family doctor to refer you to a specialist then what I suggest is this. IF you do not know one call your local hospital referral line and ask to be referred to a Board Certified ENT affiliated with the hospital. They may even make the first appointment for you. If you do need a referral still call the hospital and ask for the referral as I have stated. Make sure the doctor is in your network and ask to be referred to this doctor.

I have a friend who has known about my depression and self harm and all that, but I just get the feeling she doesn't care. She doesn't ever check on me, and it's probably because I got mad at her for treating me like a child. I get she wants what's good for me, but I don't want to get used to the idea of being babied. I'm scared to even tell her because I feel like she'll think I'm just looking for attention. Idk if I should say something or just keep it out of the way and not bring it up.

You do not have to suffer with depression. The depression most people with depression suffer from is easily treated. I suffered from depression and finally sought help. In general before people like us will seek help we have to realize we are suffering. You are at that point. Then we need to want help.

Are you ready to ask for help? From what you have written I believe you are. Statistically one in three of us suffer from one form of depression most commonly is clinical depression which is more of a hormonal imbalance. The hormone is serotonin which is secreted into the brain to help control depression. This hormone is easily replaced with a pill taken once daily in the morning.

Talk Therapy is usually suggested as part of the treatment as something is the root cause of the depression causing the imbalance. Until the root cause is found effects of depression are circular in nature. The actual cause becomes a type of pain which causes depression which causes more pain and then it goes around again.

In talk therapy with a psychologist you find the root cause and learn to deal with it in a better manner breaking the cycle of pain. Once the cycle of pain is broken then at some point in the near future you can stop the medication as well.

The short answer to your question; "Are you asking for attention?" My answer to you is yes, though not the type you are thinking of. Go to your family doctor. Have a complete physical, the therapist would want you to have one any way. While with your doctor have the doctor screen you for depression and get a proper diagnosis. Then follow the doctors’ instructions.

Gender- Male
Age-14

I am a very intelligent and shy person. There was a beautiful girl at my school by the name of Kamryn. I had liked her for a very, very long time, even though we didn't know each other very well. After speaking to one of my best friends (who is also one of Kamryn's best friends), I discovered that she liked me as well. On February 12th I finally worked up the courage to ask her out. I had gotten her a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a rose (as cliche as it may seem, it was almost Valentine's Day). She said yes, and it was then that I had my first girlfriend. I tried to do everything right; I sent her goodnight and good morning texts every night and morning, I compliment her everyday (I tried not to compliment her to much, as not to dilute the meaning, but simply couldn't help stating my mind). We still didn't talk too often during school (as we are both very shy and soft-spoken people). We did, however, text each other all the time. I attempted to make conversation with her whenever I could, but she never reciprocated. I am an INTJ, and contemplate every finite detail very thoroughly. I took any blame or negative aspect out on myself. Out of the blue, after only twenty days of dating, she told me that there are a lot of things going on in her life, and that she thinks we should break up. I understand her point of view, but as a person of pure logic and reason, I am having a constant internal battle of reasoning. I am seeing two equal and true perspectives. I keep analyzing all of the possibilities; perhaps she only said yes to spare my feelings. I have been deeply depressed. I haven't slept more than three hours a night, and haven't eaten anything since the breakup, nor have I spoken to anyone for any reason. There is no advice that can help me, but I never speak of my feelings to anyone, so I figured, "why not?" I expect to see all of the things that are all too common and all the less helpful; "It will pass," "You're young, you'll go through a lot of girlfriends," "You can't let it get to you," and the classic, "There are plenty of fish in the sea."

You did hit all the hot button answers and they are, for the most part true. You are suffering from first love lost syndrome. A very real malady that hits us all when we lose are first love. It hurts and it is supposed to for first loves are real or at least they feels that way.

I remember my first true love. It was an on again off romance that ended in a Dear John letter when I was in South East Asia. I found out years later that she blew up like a balloon, was a horrible nag and the guy she left me for divorced her. I've been married to the same women for 44 years and she has been there for me through thick and thin.

Sure it hurt to get the Dear John letter. It took everything my friends could do to keep me from jumping the first pane heading east, I was in the Air Force. Finally the Deputy Commander of Maintenance sat me down and had a fatherly talk with me. He said everything you wrote that we would say to you; he also said, "If it was meant to be, it would be and she would still be waiting for you." There is another girl waiting to meet you and when you get home she will be there for you." I met that girl six months after I returned home and six months later we were married.

He did not say there are more fish in the sea; he said there is one fish in the sea waiting to meet me . I'm telling you the same thing. You are young, you will meet other girls and there is one specific girl out of all the girls in the sea just waiting to meet you. I cannot tell you where that will be. or when I could be today, tomorrow or a year from next Tuesday but she is there and when you look in each other’s eyes you will both know you have found your life's mate.

My advice is give yourself another day of pity party then throw it off and start looking into the eyes of other girls. You will know her when you see her.

I was curious to know if you would be willing to help me with something. The gist of the situation is that I'm dating a bisexual guy that has never been in a relationship with a guy. We've been together a year and he says he wants to be with me for the rest of his life. Although he said that, I felt he wasn't being completely honest. I was right; he's 98% sure and 2% of him is wondering what being with a guy is like. He has explained to me his attraction and he has had that attraction since eight years old. I know this is weird asking you. I don't want to give him up but I don't want 98%. I want him to know. Have you ever had thoughts like his?

Not being bisexual or gay it would be hard to answer your question. If you are gay and he is bisexual one would think it not possible for you to have 100% for some percent of him lives in the other sexual world.

TO give you any more help than that I would need to know his age for at certain ages it is not unusual for anyone to be confused about their sexuality. Doctors and scientists now believe the people who are gay or lesbians are born that way and know this from even an earlier age than your friend said he became aware of this.

My advice is not to push him and if he is truly bisexual you may have to settle for 98%. In which case you are probably luckier than most as people who are bisexual are usually closer to 50/50.

Just give me an answer

Depends on your definition of "Cherry Popped?"

If you mean can you lose your virginity? The answer is no. By today's definition one, male or female, can only lose their virginity when a penis has penetrated a vagina for the first time. If either partner has never penetrated or been penetrated before this. Up to the moment of penetration they are considered a virgin.

What fingering can do is rupture your Hymen. The Hyman is the little bit of tissue that partially blocks the entrance to your vagina and is just inside the opening of the vagina. Now there are many ways to dislodge your Hymen fingering is just one way. If you use tampons you may have already dislodged it. If you rode bikes, horses or take gymnastics you may have already dislodged your Hymen. A missing Hyman no longer means you are not a virgin and has not meant that for many decades as women have become more active physically.

NOTE: There is no way for a doctor to tell if you are a virgin or not. The only thing a doctor can say is if you Hyman is intact. This means nothing as fax as sexual contact is concerned.

Hi! I'm having a love crisis here that I need a little advice on. There's a guy that I like and I'm pretty sure that he likes me. He's pretty cute, hilarious, an amazing artist, and a decent writer. The problem is, he's not smart. He gets straight C's at best and he's just over all not super intellectual. I wouldn't mind him not being naturally academic if he would just TRY. I've worked with him in groups and partners and he doesn't try to hide the fact that he doesn't care about school at all. I've been an above average hard working honors student my whole life so you can see why his lack of effort turns me off. Am I being shallow? I really like him, but I'm not going to even think about asking him out if he doesn't put in a little effort.

No I don't believe you are being shallow. What I believe is you are an achiever possible an over-achiever. You see in him someone who is lazy and just wants to pass through life making a s few waves a possible.

This makes you polar opposites and contrary to the science of polar opposites this does make him attractive to you. Yes there are some things about him you like or even find attractive. Those things though do not outweigh his laziness and that is a spoiler to you. You want to be around people like yourself who are willing to take up a challenge and who look forward to challenges. His turning you off has nothing to do with intellect or his educational grades. If he was hard working and still could only manage a c you probably feel differently about him.

I am a 20 year old female, I work at a grocery store with a twenty two year old male. I already know this is going to be lengthy... sorry.

When he first started working at the store, he was just a cashier, like me. Now, I know when I first started working, it made a world of difference that someone came up to me on my first day and introduced themselves, told me I'd do great and kind of became my first friend there. So I did that with him on his first day. Ever since, he and I would talk a lot, more so than he to any other cashier. A few months after he was just a cashier, he was asked to become the cashier's supervisor, which he accepted. Since I'm in college, I work night shifts so it was nice coming in to work and seeing his car in the parking lot, knowing he was working the night with me. Usually, I noticed as well, that he would put me on register 11 - the register that he spends his free time at, checking the schedule or counting money - so we could talk. Or he would put me on the self checkouts so we could talk as well. One day when I was on 11, I was looking at the schedule and saw the last three initials of his name and I finally put two and two together after working together for months that I knew this kid since I was 6 and he was 8, because we used to go to church together. When he came back over, I told him and he even told me he knew the three initials of my last name were familiar to him as well. One day I was joking with him that I over heard two cashiers talking that he and I were dating and I just laughed it off because we get that a lot. As I was telling him that, another cashier over heard and said we should just go out already and his response was "We can't, I'm her supervisor."

A few weeks after that, our store manager asked him if he could go around and hang signs because he's tall and quiet so she knew he could do it in a timely matter, seeming as he wouldn't stop to chit chat, that kinda thing. Then came time for inventory, she saw how well he did on sign hanging so she gave him a shot at inventory and he did that well too. So, a few weeks later, he was promoted to a zoning supervisor of the entire front end, including the grocery in the check out aisles, candy, cigarettes, batteries - as opposed to just a supervisor of the humans that work up front. So he told me the news and I was happy for him but I told him it's going to suck having him go elsewhere, but he told me that even though he moved from front end, to technically department 82, he'll still be up front and he'll still be able to boss me around. Since moving departments, I still see him around sometimes and he always makes an effort to stop and talk to me, whether it be for five seconds or five minutes, just like an I-moved-departments-but-I-said-I'd-still-be-here kinda thing.

Since him moving departments, I've been talking a lot to my other supervisor. The one I knew since I was little will be A and his friend (my other supervisor) will be B. Now, B will tell me stories about how A doesn't really want to date anyone because his last girlfriend was crazy or how they would got to comic-con together and he would get a weird drawing and he would laugh and say "Oh, this will definitely keep the girls away." But everything he tells me about A, he doesn't really do that with me. Like, A will talk to other cashiers but not for extended periods of time whereas if I'm on self checkout, he will stop and talk to me until he no longer can. This past weekend, A was asked to go to another store to help them with their inventory, so he did and when he came back to our store to clock out, he saw me at self checkout and stopped to talk to me about his day at the other store and everything he had to do and I counted that he was there, talking to me, off the clock for 45 minutes. After those 45 minutes, we saw a manager running through the store and A thought he should leave because he didn't want to get me in trouble for talking and not doing my job, he heard on his walkie that there was an accident outside and someone had to call 911. I told him to let me know what happened but I was expecting him to the next time we saw him but he went out and came back in just to tell me and then he left again.

It's just little things that I notice he does with me but not with anyone else that makes me think he could be into me:
-even though he isn't my supervisor anymore and I have a question and I see him, he'll help me with it but he'll tell other cashiers that he can't help them because he isn't their supervisor
-he always jokes around with me... my cousin is a vendor for our store so they work together doing stocking and when he found out who she was to me, he told her that his job all night was to boss me around but he's the only one that can
-he tells me about not work related things, like his puppy or issues he had with his dad and why his parents go divorced
-there's a cashier up front that has a huge crush on him and she'll take pictures of him and put them on Facebook and he always complains to me about how that freaks him out but be knows that I take pictures of him and put them on my snapchat but that doesn't bother him at all
-back when he was my supervisor and anybody that wasn't me was on 11, he wouldn't spend any time back there whereas when he had me on 11, that's always where you could find him
-he lets me complain to him about the weird guys at work that hit on me and he laughs and jokes back that they suck and I need someone better
-I had just recently gotten glasses, even though he has glasses too, he'll call me a nerd and four eyes
-the one day he was working on a battery display right in front of my self checkout and he told one of the other workers that the tags are stuck inside the holder and that he can't get them out because he doesn't have nails, so she went over to help him, then someone else went over to help and by five minutes, he had four girls around the display helping him and he stopped working on it and came over and talked to me, smirked and said "that's how you supervise"
-after his battery display got finished, he had a cart full of zip ties that he had to sort through, at this time I was on my break and he came over and sat with me and asked how many zip ties I thought he had so I guessed and he sat with me and talked to me while he counted all of them
-he told me one day about a girl that got his number and wouldn't leave him alone so he asked her out and made the date as uncomfortable as possible for her so she wouldn't bother him again (almost like he drives girls away that he doesn't like but he never tried anything like that with me before)

But then there's things that make me think he doesn't:
-my schedule got messed up one day and before I drove in for no reason, I was going to ask him if he could help me fix it, but I realized I didn't have his number so I went in the next day and joked about how I had to drive into work on my day off to get my schedule straightened out because I didn't have his number to help me... he didn't even offer to give it to me after
-(no lectures, please) I told him one day that all of my over aged friends were busy one night and couldn't get me something to drink for a party that I was going to and I joked with him again that I knew he was off and he could've gotten me something but I didn't have his number again...he asked me what I wanted to drink because he was just finishing work and he could get it for me, I told him someone else already got it for me and he still didn't offer me his number
-buuuut, during conversations with him, he takes his phone out and plays with it right in front of me, maybe hinting at something, I don't know

I actually probably just made him sound like the biggest asshole ever, hahaha. But he really isn't. He just has a very joke-y demeanor and if he doesn't like you, he has no problem showing it. So, do you think that's him just being friendly to me since we knew each other for so long? Or do you think he may be interested? Am I being insane and just thinking too hard about this? Thanks!

I don't think this guy will ever ask you out, just why I can't say. I do think he likes to talk with you which says he does like you enough to have somewhat intimate conversations with you. The fact that he said to your cousin "He was the only one who could boss you around" say he is protecting of you as well.

Just why he can't pull the trigger on asking you out on a date eludes me. You are going to have to be the one to make a first move if you want to take the relationship you have with him to the next level. Just be aware that doing so may ruin what you have with him.

If you want to ask him out I would suggest you do so in a non-threatening manner. Meaning try not to make it sound like a date. Maybe by know you know of some of the things he like to do with his time off. You could say something like; you know A I've never done that but always wanted to try it. We are both off and on the same day next week and I do not have any classes could you show me how that is done. Another way would be if there is a movie you know he wants to see. You could say; A I'm planning on see that movie next week would you like to go with me. After the movie you could suggest stopping for some burgers someplace. Things like that. Once the ice is broken maybe he will ask you out the next time.

I'm in high school and in June there's going to be a graduation dinner. At first I was looking forward to going but now I'm not so sure because the kids in my grade had to vote for stuff like "most likely to be successful", "most funniest", "class clown", etc and I got voted most quiet for the girls section. A lot of people put my name down, even those that don't even know me, so I think that I might be the one to win it. It's not like I purposely try to be quiet, it's because I have very low self esteem and now that they put my name down, I feel like it just made my self esteem worse. Being "most quiet" isn't even something to be proud about or get an award for. Why would they even have that category. I never even wanted to win, and plus there's other people that are quiet that they could have put down but of course it's always me. This happened yesterday and I was starting to get over it but then today one of my friends told me that she heard what "people were doing to me" and that it's "messed up". That just made me feel even more stupid and pathetic. One of my friends put my name down for "most adorable" and she told her friends to do it and not to put me for "most quiet". So doesn't that mean everyone sees "most quiet" as a bad thing. Atleast that friend didn't put my name down for it, even my best friend didn't say anything even though she knew about it. It's not like I never talk, I do talk to people and ask questions if I don't understand something or need help with something and I'm always nice to everyone. At the dinner that's where they give out awards for attendance and high exam grades and I wanted to be there for those, but when they announce the winner for most quiet its gonna be so embarrassing and just ruin the whole celebration for me. I don't think I'm going to be attending, I don't know what to say when my mom asks me why i don't wanna go. She already gave me the money to pay for it.

Being voted the most quiet is not really a bad thing. It is how you perceive it that is bad. As I say in answers to certain question; perception is real even if it is wrong in how you perceive it, therefore perception is everything.

Being the quiet one in the crowd is not always a bad thing. You’re not the one the teachers looks at when there is trouble, they look at the loud mouth trouble makes not you. Being quiet can also be seen as someone who is a thinker; someone who thinks before they act. There is nothing wrong with being a thinker.

If you can change your perception of what you believe being the quiet one to be then there is nothing to be embarrassed about. If those who are voting for you are doing so to see you cry at the dinner and you don't. That you accept the award with grace and honor then the joke will be on them and they will be the ones hurt. This to me is the best way to get back at them for as I am saying there is nothing wrong with being the quiet one especially given the fact that you also get good grades and could be a candidate for awards in those categories as well.

My suggestion: Go to the dinner. Try to change your perception of what being quiet means and if you should win the award accept it with grace and honor.

As to your self-esteem problems. I use to have that problem until I adopted the following motto. "The only person I have to be better than is the person I am today." What this meant to me is; whatever I am today, whoever I am today I must be better than this tomorrow. To do this I had to do or learn something I didn't do or know today. This motto has done well for me and allowed me to have a career in a field where a low self-esteem would not have allowed me to thrive and earn a good living for my wife and family. Having a low self-esteem is also a perception. It is how you see yourself.

There is another saying that goes along with my motto. There are people who plan to fail and people whose plans fail." There is nothing wrong with having a plan that fails at least you tried and hopefully learned something from what failed. If you plan on failing then you gain nothing and this is what happens when you have a low self-esteem.

Make a plan and follow it. If along the way something doesn't work. It doesn't mean you planned to fail, your plan failed at that point. You pick yourself up. Learn why your plan failed and move forward adjusting your plan as needed.

If you learn to do this your self-esteem will improve and you will be much happier.

I would like to sex a long time with my wife, but how?

It depends what you mean by SEX? If you mean actual intercourse because you ejaculate quickly there are techniques you can learn to delay ejaculation. There are also desensitization creams you can purchase over the counter at the drug store. If you don't see them ask the pharmacist or go on line and put "desensitization cream" in a search engine. You will get a number of returns.

If you are asking how to lengthen the time you and your wife actually make love before and after having intercourse. That is a very intimate question that would require finding out more about your sex life. Do you have foreplay? What types of foreplay do you do? Do you ever role play? Things like that so we could make suggestions.

Sex is a learned activity. Intercourse itself is an animalistic instinct we all know how to do. Partners in a committed relationship need to sit down and talk about their likes and dislikes when it comes to sex. Where they like to be touched, how they like to be touched.

Women especially as there are women who get excited vaginally and there are women who are excited clitorally. Men need to know this as it is important to know during for play. What sex positions do you like and does she like. Anal sex, oral sex and fetishes all need to be discussed in order to have a happy sex life together.

Remember how you could make out for hours with a girl when you were a teenager and dating. One way of extending having sex with your wife would be by role playing a teenage date and start making out on the couch or maybe find a lovers lane and make out in the car. The difference is that you know you will ultimately hit a home run but still the excitement of the make out is there.

This is the best I can offer without information you may not wish to share.

24/f in college

The semester started two months ago but there was this one class that just started in the middle of the semester. It was suppose to be my first day in it and I was feeling very sick since the night before. I thought it was nothing and was going to sleep it out. I would feel better tomorrow and go to school. The next morning, I woke up and could barely move. I got out of bed and felt my heart beating really hard, my ears were buzzing, and I temporary blacked put. I kept thinking I can sleep it out. As the day went, it got worse. I quickly emailed my teachers and told them I'm sorry. I was sick and will miss their classes since I was going to the ER. Apparently, something triggered the disease I have. I was rushed into ICU. I have a serious pre-existing medical condition which my primary doc said was being maintained. The doctor said if I waited longer I would have died. Surgery was performed right away. Luckily, it was a success but I am in a lot of pain despite the painkillers. Post op, when I finally got a hold of a laptop, I checked my student email. The new teacher sent me an email. It sounded like he didn't receive my earlier email about going to the ER. He said I was irresponsible for missing the first day with no excuse, made assumptions about my priorities and work ethics. The things he said and the tone was very belittling. I'm a straight A student. I never missed class unless I have too. I never even meet this teacher and for him to accuse me of these things made me feel awful. I cried. The nurses thought I was in pain from the surgery and kept giving me painkillers. I was just discharged. What should I do when I meet him in class? I might be emotional from the whole ordeal but I feel like I don't want him as a teacher if he said those things about me.

Bring your hospital discharge papers with you along with a copy of the bill if you were given one. These should be enough proof to him that you were ill and missed class because you were hospitalized needing emergency surgery.

When you meet him ask him if he received your original email and why his response was as belittling as it was especially since you two have never met. Then hand him the paperwork from the hospital showing you were hospitalized and could not attend his class. Unless he is a complete idiot and subhuman he should apologize for the way he responded and give you time to make up the work missed.

IF he doesn't and he stands by his email then you make an appointment to see the department chair and file a complaint. You have a valid reason for missing class. any work missed should be given to you with time to make up.

What these college teachers and the college themselves fail to understand is they work for you. You are paying them to instruct you in the courses you sign up for. There is a bilateral agreement between you and the college. They supply the instruction and you attend the classes. should you have a valid reason for missing a class then an opportunity to make up the work should be supplied.

This is the point you take if you must make an appeal to the head of the department or to the college President. You are paying good money for instruction. You have a valid reason for missing class(es) they must supply you with the work or make up work. Your enrolment with them is a bilateral contract and you are the client or customer which ever you prefer.

Explain your Special Training

Any special training refers to any training or classes you may have taken outside of normal class work in public school or college. The question is asking you to tell then the following.

1. Training to operate special office equipment, such as computers.

2. Are you able to read or write computer programming.

3. Have you taken any classes in Microsoft Office or any other specialized training.

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