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Should I confront him with an email or in person?
24/f in college
The semester started two months ago but there was this one class that just started in the middle of the semester. It was suppose to be my first day in it and I was feeling very sick since the night before. I thought it was nothing and was going to sleep it out. I would feel better tomorrow and go to school. The next morning, I woke up and could barely move. I got out of bed and felt my heart beating really hard, my ears were buzzing, and I temporary blacked put. I kept thinking I can sleep it out. As the day went, it got worse. I quickly emailed my teachers and told them I'm sorry. I was sick and will miss their classes since I was going to the ER. Apparently, something triggered the disease I have. I was rushed into ICU. I have a serious pre-existing medical condition which my primary doc said was being maintained. The doctor said if I waited longer I would have died. Surgery was performed right away. Luckily, it was a success but I am in a lot of pain despite the painkillers. Post op, when I finally got a hold of a laptop, I checked my student email. The new teacher sent me an email. It sounded like he didn't receive my earlier email about going to the ER. He said I was irresponsible for missing the first day with no excuse, made assumptions about my priorities and work ethics. The things he said and the tone was very belittling. I'm a straight A student. I never missed class unless I have too. I never even meet this teacher and for him to accuse me of these things made me feel awful. I cried. The nurses thought I was in pain from the surgery and kept giving me painkillers. I was just discharged. What should I do when I meet him in class? I might be emotional from the whole ordeal but I feel like I don't want him as a teacher if he said those things about me.
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Well, you could certainly speak to the school about transferring classes.
Or, you could take a deep breath and prove him wrong by being the person you know you are - a good, responsible student.
I understand that you found this hurtful, but it's also the sort of thing you need to be able to let go of. You will work with people in your life who make unfair judgments about you, or are rude and belittling. You will receive nasty emails from coworkers and bosses. This will happen again in your life. If you run away from those people, or try to get back at them each time it happens, you'll only make things tougher for yourself.
If you think his behaviour was unethical, or abusive, you should address that with your school. Colleges will usually have an ombudsperson who is there to help students address bad behaviour from other college staff.
But really, this is NOT as big a deal as it FEELS like it is. You had a really scary experience, and he wrote something stupid and judgey. Truth is, he probably has almost forgotten about it. You just don't matter that much in his world. It's okay to feel overwhelmed and upset, but act reasonably. If you feel what he did was problem that needs to be addressed, speak to the ombudsperson about how to best go about that. Don't rush to confrontation while you are emotional and overwhelmed.
Don't bring in your medical paper work to 'prove' anything to him. That sets you both up for further confrontation. If what he did was unethical, just take it up with the school. They are there to support you as you navigate these sorts of disputes with teachers. Don't take this into your own hands. If you feel his behaviour needs to be addresses, get some advice on how best to do that.
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Bring your hospital discharge papers with you along with a copy of the bill if you were given one. These should be enough proof to him that you were ill and missed class because you were hospitalized needing emergency surgery.
When you meet him ask him if he received your original email and why his response was as belittling as it was especially since you two have never met. Then hand him the paperwork from the hospital showing you were hospitalized and could not attend his class. Unless he is a complete idiot and subhuman he should apologize for the way he responded and give you time to make up the work missed.
IF he doesn't and he stands by his email then you make an appointment to see the department chair and file a complaint. You have a valid reason for missing class. any work missed should be given to you with time to make up.
What these college teachers and the college themselves fail to understand is they work for you. You are paying them to instruct you in the courses you sign up for. There is a bilateral agreement between you and the college. They supply the instruction and you attend the classes. should you have a valid reason for missing a class then an opportunity to make up the work should be supplied.
This is the point you take if you must make an appeal to the head of the department or to the college President. You are paying good money for instruction. You have a valid reason for missing class(es) they must supply you with the work or make up work. Your enrolment with them is a bilateral contract and you are the client or customer which ever you prefer.
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I would definitely talk to this teacher and make sure you get a doctors note to let him know. Just sit down and have an honest discussion with him and tell him the situation. If he doesn't understand I would definitely talk to a guidance counselor or maybe another authority at school. Feel better!
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