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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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14/f Hi :) Basicall, a few weeks before I was supposed to go on holiday, I checked my shared bank account to take out the money I had saved to pay for my share of the holiday. Dad sometimes puts bits in and says its to pay for things that I need. Keywords: Things I need. I checked it and it said I had 43 cents. I thought it was odd and got my mom to check what had happened on this booklet thing (mom's a bit old fashioned). What had happened was that someone had taken out little bits through out the course of two years to pay for odd stuff. I'm not allowed to go in it by myself so I have to have mom or dad around when I check it.
Big chunks came out around Valentines Day and around the time he got married to his new gf (or should I say wife). He got married without telling me; I wasn't invited but I got over it. It still hurt though. But anyway, I confronted him about it and he said he had to pay for car repairs, bills etc.
I knew he was lying. I stopped talking to him for a while and was finally ready to forgive him after about a month (we had to cancel the holiday because I couldn't go) and I asked him why he did it. He replied with, "charity at work." Why did he lie before? And did he really need over $1500?!?!
So after arguing, I didn't speak to him for about 3 months. I looked in my account again to find that he was still taking it. Not only that, he was saying that I couldn't make it to family outings because my mom was being difficult and turning my into a brat. So I told them the truth but they all took dad's side. "He's still your dad, you should talk things out."
"At least you have a dad!"
"He took some money, big deal. You could have a dad that abuses you."
And it sucks! I don't know what to do anymore. The only person on my side is my mom. It's really starting to make me feel depressed. I don't smile anymore because of all the pressure that's put on me to sort everything out and keep my grades high AND still be the perfect girl my family thinks I am. What should I do? Sorry to bore you with this.
First of all you could never prove your dad stole any money from you as his name is on the account. Because of this what ever funds are in this account are as much his as they are yours. The fact that the deposits all came from you may have some legal baring if you have proof you earned and deposited those funds. It would depend largely on the laws in your state. You would need to consult an attorney if you wanted to know for sure.
What you may want to do is consult an attorney and ask that the attorney send you dad a letter stating you are giving him a chance to return the funds plus your costs to recover them, attorneys fees, before you file charges of Grand theft against him. Grand theft is a felony which comes with heavy prison time.
The letter from an attorney might just scare you father into returning the money. He would have to send the money to your attorney who would then give you a check once the check received clears the bank.
If all this happens I would suggest since you are now legally old enough to have your own bank account that you open one in your own name at a different bank from the one you presently bank at.
What I'm suggesting is a long shot or a Hail Mary pass but it just might work if an Attorney is willing to do this for you.
okay, so i am 16 years old and i AM sexually active but haven't had sex in about a month. A few days ago, my vaginal area has been quite itchy and it's really bothering me. I examined myself, and seen little white small bump like things on the "inside" of my vaginal wall. Also my clitorious is very red and swollen. Someone please help, ASAP.
Also, know someone is going to say I need to see a doctor but there are no gynecologists around my area
Yes you do need to see a doctor. Most likely you have a yeast infection or vaginitis. You could try some over the counter products such as Monistat though from your description you my need an antibiotic to fight off the infection.
Your family practice doctor does have the skills to diagnose and treat either of these problems and the bladder infection that could result if you wait too long to see your doctor.
If you do need to see a gynecologist or feel you must see a gynecologist your local hospital should have a department of Gynecology. Contact the hospitals patient referral line for an appointment to see one of their staff Gynecologists.
What ever you decide to do not wait as I said if you wait too long this can turn into something worse if left untreated. If there are any 24 hour clinics staffed by doctors in your area you can be seen by one of today as you can either just walk in or call for an appointment. You then follow up with a visit with your own doctor. By going to a 24 hour clinic you get started on antibiotics this much sooner.
How i convince a girl to do sex with me
First of all you cannot convince a girl to have sex with you. IF you ask her to have sex with you or in someway try to haves sex, meaning you're making out and get to the point where sex is the next step and she says stop or no. That is it, game over she does not want to have sex and you cannot force her, try to convince her or do anything to get her to have sex with you.
By trying to convince her to have sex with you; that is called sexual harassment and she or her parents can have you charged with sexual harassment. Then you can explain to a judge why you harassed her. Back in the day your age might have protected you; today you will be prosecuted and good go to jail. If you force her to have sex or if you convince her to have sex with you that is Rape and you will be prosecuted and go to jail most likely as an adult. When you get out you will register as a sex offender.
Frankly the prospect of ruining your life for a few minutes of fun is not worth it. Also, and I'm being honest with you, sex in this manner will not be as satisfying as staying home and masturbating. If she gives into you because you threaten her in any way there will be no enjoyment.
Sex is a beautiful thing when the time is right. That time is when you are older and both of you are consenting. There are other ways to get off that do not include intercourse. She may be more willing to do these for you. IF not as I said let Miss.Thumb her four friends take matters in hand.
There will be a 21 year age gap between us. They won't be a sibling, they'll be like my niece, and they'd see me as an aunt. I want to vomit. I think it's an IVF baby and we're catholic, so I don't see how that works. I have 2 other siblings, were we not good enough for our parents? My mom stereotypes certain people having more kids than they can afford, and says we have money issues (why we never properly take vacations and etc) and that we can't afford a pet's healthcare, but suddenly she adds another human to the mix? I'm beyond pissed. If this happened when I was younger, the more the merrier, but I kind of feel like this new kid is to make up for "mistakes" she had when raising my siblings so I feel hurt and offended. She's a bit materialistic saying this is the most money her and my dad have had and that my older sibling and I were born in a council flat early in their relationship but that's like saying that she had no choice in getting pregnant then, when she did, twice. I already wanted to put off having kids til my 30s and now im close to tears and reconsidering even getting iinto any sort of relationship in the future, much less having kids later. I just feel so grossed out and let down and now it's like I feel my mom will just dump this new child on meto take care of when I have my own activities and life to plan for, so I'll be even more diligent now to leave this house as soon as possible cause I feel like my mom isn't the same mom she was 10 years ago. Even before she announced pregnancy she would just be so different and even earlier today I wondered how I was even born from her and how I grew up in my family. with the whole IVF thing I saw bookmarks on her computer and I knew she had been taking prenatals a year ago but I thought it was just a joke. I had a major panic attack a few weeks ago when I thought I saw an ultrasound til I checked the year and it was just my younger sibling's. But no, now I know it's real and I just feel so let down cause i liked our family as it was. The IVF means she likely got a diff egg cause she's in her late 40s which means the kid will only be a half sibling. And I saw the girl they were considering and she's not even our ethnicity so the kid will look very obviously different from the rest of us as it technically would have a diff mother. Why didn't she just adopt?! I would have been more ok with An adoption than this Frankenstein type stuff. I don't mean to be mean, that's just how I'm feeling right now. God forbid I couldn't have kids natirally one day, if I ever for some reason wanted too then there's plenty of people seeking adoptive families that already exist and need to be loved and cared for. My mom was all happy but she has no large age gaps in her family. I' literally know NO ONE with such a huge gap between their siblings. I feel embarrassed mad and resentful. We won't be able to relate to each other at all. How do I make sense of this? Are there any books on this? I feel extremely unhappy
You have a lot of issues to deal with. TO do so starts with sitting down and getting answers to those questions/issues from your mother. IVF does not mean the baby she is carrying is not from her own egg. Being in her forties does not mean she has entered menopause or she is fully into menopause. IVF is also used to help people who are having trouble conceiving using their own eggs and sperm. This may be the case with mom now. My sister did not go into menopause until well into her fifties.
You have a right to be upset to find out at the ripe old age of 21 you're about to have a little brother or sister will upset anyone your age or older. Your also right to assume that caring for this child may fall to you before this child reaches the age of majority. All of these things are what you need to discuss with your mother and father.
For one thing feeling as you do you need to tell them you do not wish to be n=named the child's guardian in their will or be a godparent which would make you the child's parent in the event of mom or dad dyeing before the reaching age 18. Your parents may be assuming if you're the oldest that you would do this for them with this child and your younger siblings.
What I'm not so sure about is how mom and dad having a baby now interferes with your life plan. You are 21 legally an adult answerable only to yourself. You are not responsible for things your parents do and you cannot be forced to be responsible for their bills or other problems. You are not obligated to care for your siblings, this soon to be born on or your other siblings and yes you can chose to care for one and not the other if you wish. It is your choice as to how much you can take on.
This is why it is important to talk to your parents now. You parents may or may not be great planners I don't know them so I can't say. What I do know is when this child is born because of their ages the hospital social worker will advise them to make sure a guardian is named for this child in the event of their demise prior to the child reaching 18. As I said above if you do not want to be the named guardian speak up now for if the time comes and you are the named guardian. You could refuse but you will spend a great deal of money fighting child protective services doing so.
In short everything you have written about boils down to having an open and frank discussion with your parents. Feeling suicidal will not solve anything talking will.
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and I'm very much in love with him.. he has been fantizising about seeing a girl with me.. I'm not at all about a "threesome" he hasn't said it out but he hints bout it turns him on to see another with me... I'm scared if he's wanting to be with someone else or he just doesn't love me or respect me.
Every young man fantasizes about having a threesome or some type of group sex. This does not mean you have to do this for him. When it comes to sex I have one very firm piece of advice that I give.
Sex is something that has to be Consensual BETWEEN THE TWO ADULT PARTIES. The operative words her are adults and consensual. If either party objects then it is not done. NO MEANS NO AND STOP MEANS STOP. Once either of those words are spoken if the act is forced or continues it is RAPE. It is really that simple.
Sex is a beautiful thin and to be beautiful it must be consensual. Unfortunately for young men love is very often confused with lust. For women sex and lust are not synonymous. Sex is the most intimate act two people can do together. More so for the female since it is her body that ultimately is invaded by the male to complete the act.
My belief is what happens in the bedroom is never weird or strange provided both individuals consent to what ever it is you so, You do not want to do a threesome. You have said or should say no that is the end of the discussion. If he continues to press you to do this then he is committing sexual harassment; which is illegal and he can face a serious charge for doing so should you press it.
I cannot say why he wants this other than as I said to begin with. Should he say something like you need to do this to prove you love me or I will find someone else to do this with me, or words to that effect. Then I think you will have your answer. No matter what do not do anything sexually you are not comfortable with.
I will tell you this; if he is pressing you to do this or else. Well you know the answer. HE is also not the right guy. I don't know how old you are but I do know this. As my mother said to me on many an occasion. There are plenty of fish in the see. Just go fishing again and you will eventually catch the one that is right for you.
20/f
I'm in a crappy situation.
Two days ago I went for a run around 6:30am. While I was running, I get the occasional people honking while driving by.
Around 7 two guys were walking by and started cat calling me and whistling and all that. It's not like I was even dressed inappropriately. It was a cold morning. I ignored them, well first I flipped them off then ignored them but they followed me. I went back to my car and drove off and they were still following me. I was driving 60 in a 50 zone. Then I got pulled over. I should've said something to the officer but I was about to cry.
I shouldn't have been speeding regardless but I guess I was just freaked out.
He gave me a citation and it says I have to appear in court.
Anything I can do about this or do I have to deal with the consequences?
I'm only 20, I'm kinda broke and never been pulled over so I don't know much about this.
Go to court and plead "Guilty with explanation." Explain to the Judge what happened just as you did here that you were trying to get away from some men that were following you. You know now you should have told the officer but you just broke down and cried when he stopped you." "I'm sure the Officer will confirm that you were crying when he approached you. I'm not sure if he can confirm whether or not anyone may have been following you.
If you have a clean driving record, which is important. After you have explained why you were speeding ask the Judge if he or she is willing to offer you go on PBJ. Probation before Judgment. This is usually unsupervised Probation and if you do not get another traffic ticket during this time, this ticket is expunged from your record and your insurance company is never informed of the offence.
IF the judge is willing to give you PBJ you will probably be asked to pay court costs. I have no Idea what they may be today but I assume they would be somewhere between $10 & $25 dollars depending on where you live.
Dress appropriately for court. Office casual is good, a skirt and blouse or slacks and blouse with low heels or any hard sole shoe. Fix your hair and minimum make up. Try to stay with a bit of eye liner and lip gloss. Court is serious business and you must show the proper respect. By showing the court the proper respect and addressing the judge in proper English the better chance you have at getting PBJ.
I say this not that I expect you would address the court any differently than how you wrote to us. I say this as a reminder because young people today, for the most part have no idea what respect is. Your writing say you do know this so as I said this is just a reminder and to tell you to try and be calm. Their is nothing to be scared of. Just tell the judge what why and show the court the proper respect and you will do fine.
For example, when Bradley cooper (40) dated suki Waterhouse (23). People are saying Bradley should go and date a nice woman his age, now. I don't get it. Why is it assumed people the same age would necessarily be right for each other, and that legal adults with age gaps aren't? There are many happy couples with relatively large age gaps. Why are some people so bitter and critical about this? love is love. It doesn't mean the younger girl has "daddy issues" or the older guy is some kind of pedophile, like a lot of people usually stereotype. Personally, I've never really had a good bond with any guy around my age and thus see it likely I'd seek to be with a guy about a decade older than me. a single guy with no kids, it doesn't mean I'm going to be some kind of home wrecker. But if I did get in such a relationship, would I be criticized or pitied? I'd just want to be seen as any other couple, but I don't understand american society's weird unwritten rule.
You're right, people should mind their own business. Age is but a number. A chronological way of accounting for our time on this earth. Now the only problem I would have is say a 30 year old dating an 18 year old and only because the 18 year old may be naïve or immature and infatuated mistaking infatuation for love. That would be the only reason. If she was a bit older and more mature there is no problem.
We do get a lot of letters along the line of should I start a relationship with him, he is 10 years older than me or she is 7 to 10 years younger than me. My answer is generally to go for it. Though I will point out the pitfalls that can come for large differences in age.
My mother in-law was 5 year older than my father in-law. Her family and friends accused her of robbing the cradle. Her marriage lasted a lifetime. Many of theirs didn't.
Knowing what you want, being aware of the pitfalls which are greater as the age difference is greater. There is no reason not to explore life with an older person. Just be sure of what you want from life for the greater the age difference the more the younger person gives up and misses out on. This can cause trouble for the couple later in life.
Most importantly don't listen to the busy buddies. which includes me. Take from me what feels right and go forward.
I think that I might have anxiety but I don't know how to bring it up to my parents. They would never get me therapy and if I even brought up therapy my dad would mock me. But I don't know what to do because it's getting worse and I'm not sure if this makes any sort of sense but I always feel like there's a knot in my stomach because I'm always nervous and my palms are sweaty and my underarms are sweaty and I'm shaky and I've felt this way for almost 2 years now. There's only been one time in the past 2 years that I've actually felt calm. I had just finished an essay that was due the next day and it was 3 am and I thought that I was never going to get it done but then I did and it felt like there was a tight belt around my stomach that had been unbuckled and I could finally breath but that feeling was gone when I woke up the next morning. I'm only 14 so I can't go get therapy or any sort of help myself because anything I tell my school counselor goes straight to my parents. it's mostly just general nervousness that I struggle with but I have pretty severe social phobia as well and I rarely leave the house even to come to the store or anywhere. I only go to the library. I just don't know what to do. I want the metaphorical belt to be permanently unbuckled.
At 14 years of age you are old enough under certain circumstances to make your own doctors' appointments with or without parental permission. You may also at anytime call 911 for medical assistance and this is one type of medical assistance that 911 can and should be called for.
Remember when you were little mom and dad said if you ever were separated from them to find a police officer and they will help you. This is the same thing. Anxiety can be very harmful. You are already experiencing a form of it that is keeping you from experiencing life and hiding at home.
While I find it hard to believe if you went to you mom or dad and explained, fully as you have to us, that they would refuse to get you medical help. There are alternatives available to you. Yes your school counselor will tell your parents. IF your parents say negative things to the suggestion that you need medical help. Then the counselor must notify Child Protective Services (CPS).
Anxiety can also affect your menstrual cycle. Here is where the law says you can contact a doctor on your own as long as you are 14 or older. A Federal Law called HIPPA gives anyone 14 or older medical confidentiality and the right to seek medical assistance for anything concerning their Reproductive System. They do not need parental approval to do so and parents cannot know they have seen or what they have been treated fro by the doctor without written permission by their child to the doctor. That permission must be freely given and not coerced.
Because anxiety can affect your menstrual cycle you can seek help under that for both problems without parental permission. IF you are unable to get to a hospital or doctors office call 911 or go to the nearest Police or Fire Station for help. Both are safe havens for children.
You can also talk with a trusted teacher or school principal about this. They by law must see to it that you receive help if you come to them with this type of problem.
One again though before you do any of what I suggest above I urge you to talk with mom and Dad. As A parent I find it hard to believe any parent would make light of your problem. Our jobs as parents are to see to it you are safe, Healthy, well fed, properly clothed, housed and clean. Failure in any of these areas is unacceptable and could have us answering to CPS. So talk to your parents. IF I'm wrong then follow one of my suggestion for getting help.
I woke up Saturday morning after a night of drinking with a friend and i blacked out. and when i woke up i was in my friend's daughter's bed and my friends 11 year old daughter was sleeping right next to me completely naked. and I was too. i knew that she had a crush on me because her dad said that he read it in her diary but i never knew it would go this far. and here is the ****** part about it I'm 25 year old guy so i don't even know what too do i was able too wake her up and we were able to get dressed before her dad woke up and other than me taking the virginity of my best friends daughter i didn't wear a condom so she may get pregnant and I'm that case i guess I'm completely ******. i feel like a complete asshole knowing that i did this with her. and then about a day later she asked me if i wanted to do it again. i don't really know what to say. i don't know if we should do it again. or just tell her that we cant ever again but she might tell her dad that this happened if i don't and if we do i know that we could get away with it because i do watch her sometimes for my friend when he has to work late at night. i don't know what to do should i break it off with and getting pissed at me and telling her dad or should i have some sort of strange relationship with her Because i dont want to hurt her feelings.
Just what you are guilty of I'm not quite sure of at the moment because there is important information missing. Missing is how you got in her bed. Do you know how you got there. Is her bedroom the only place your friend could have put you to bed or did you get there on your own? Then there's the question of consent. You were drunk, even drunk a man can get an erection and have unconsented sex? This would make her the aggressor and you the raped person.
It is these fact that are important for they are the ones that may keep you out of jail. As for your friend these facts will mean nothing if his daughter is pregnant. As for continuing to have sex with her the answer is no. For if you do you can expect to spend the rest of your life in prison. Child molesters do not do well in prison.
Just tell her whatever happened was a mistake and it will not happen again. That to tell her father will be just as bad for her as it will be for you maybe worse. If she is not pregnant. Thank your lucky stars and stay away from her
Okay so I'm 14/f and recently found out I was bisexual. All the people I have come out to have supported me and I'm thankful. I haven't had my first... gay kiss if thats what you want to call it but I can't find the right girl to have it with. I am really curious though! Any advice?
You are 14 and you believe you are bisexual. You are fortunate that the people you have told have not turned on you as is the case with moist teenagers when told that a friend is gay or bisexual. While you may just be bisexual I would suggest you wait a few years before you pin a label on yourself.
You are 14 and have just recently become sexually aware when you entered puberty. Most teenagers, boys and girls, will explore their sexuality with someone of the same sex before venturing out to explore their sexuality with the opposite sex. This does not make them gay or bisexual. It makes them sexually curious.
You say you haven't had your first same sex kiss. So how can you say you are bisexual? Just because you want to experiment or find yourself attracted to someone of the same sex. If this is so this does not qualify you as bisexual; at least not until you have had actual sex with both sexes. Something you are far too young to have with boys.
Do yourself a favor and stop labeling yourself. You are far too young and have not had the opportunity to truly experience what you need to experience in order to place any type of label on your sexuality.
I would say at the moment if you need to label your self. That label should be someone who is sexually curious. This would put you on par with teenagers in your own age group.
Relax give yourself time to be a teenager. This is a wonderful time of your life full of discoveries and yes adventures too. You will be an adult for a long time. Slow down and enjoy the teenage years for they only come once and forget about labels they are truly meaningless. You are whoever you become and now is the time to learn who you are meant to be.
How do you respond to something like that when, although you're cool with it, you know that your wife DOES NOT want your daughter to share a birthday with a cousin? She does not want her child to have to share a birthday with another one of her parents' grandchildren. She doesn't want her to have to share her spotlight on her special day.
To be honest, I feel a little sorry for the little squirt (sister in law's baby) because he'll be the son of your father in law's least favorite daughter. His universe already revolves around his oldest daughter and the grandchildren he got from her, so he's probably gonna try to push the new kid out of the spotlight too.
Mother in law's different, but big deal. This new kid is still gonna get shafted and treated like he CHOSE to be born on that day just to steal attention from his cousin. I feel bad for him because this is how I was treated by my family. I was ignored and deprived of attention and affection and I feel bad that my family's gonna do that to someone else. I also do want my daughter to get a chip on her shoulder and think that she's the ONLY one with a right to be treated well on her birthday. Lastly, I don't want this to cause bitter blood between us, the new kid, and his parents.
There is really not much that can be down about when the little cousin arrives. Due dates are just that. A date the doctor calculates and in most instances, at least in my family is never the date the baby is born. If by chance your sister in-law does give birth on that day it is something your wife will have to deal with.
Frankly I would suspect if the two grandchildren are born with in days of each others date the family will still chose to celebrate them together. Your daughter will celebrate at home with her friends with a party your wife makes for her and it will be her special day because your wife made it so.
...helps people? With either mental or physical problems? I don't really want a college degree since I don't want to be in college for long. But I was thinking about a job that I'll have to have a certification on like licensed practical nurse. Or home care aide that also takes certification. It's just I would like to move into my own apartment as soon as I can (I'm 18 atm), and my dream career is to help people, whether they be teenagers, adults or elderly. Do you know any jobs like that?
Certified LPN's do not pay very well and usually get all the dirty work the nurses don't want to do. Now home health care aids earn a bit more but not much. Emergency Medical Technicians (EMT) can earn more money and in some states can work in the hospital transporting patients within the hospital or providing Basil Life Support Ambulance Service.
The best job that I think you might like is that of a Paramedic as it opens a whole career field of opportunities. To be a Nationally Certified Paramedic requires a course of study, usually at a local community college over two years and you graduate with an AA degree.
What I suggest is you do if this is attractive to you is that you get your EMT Certification first. Then you can start working and earning anywhere from $10.00 to !5.00 and hour maybe more. Then if you find you like this you can take the bridge course to Paramedic. Depending on what state you live in to become an EMT requires a course of study 80 to 140 hours in length. Classes are usually 4 hours in length 2 times a week with occasional Saturday classes.
OF course there is always jobs with the Police and Fire Departments. These jobs can be very rewarding and they are jobs that do help people. My son is a Paramedic Firefighter who has been on the job 5 years. Last year with a minimum amount of overtime he earned very close to a six figure salary working an 8 day 24 hour shift per month which left him time for a part time job which brought his total income up considerably working 4 days amount 8 to 12 hours a shift.
In general Paramedic earn $21 to $27 an hour starting salary depending on where they live. Even though this would require a bit more schooling than you may be interested in. The financial rewards are much better than those of and LPN even if you start out as an EMT.
I'm a sophomore in highachool and recently I've been thinking how in only two years I'll be leaving for college/embarking on a whole new experience of life . I'm really nervous just thinking about it even though it seems so far away . Anyway I can calm myself about life feeling so short and quick ?
First relax your not the only teenager to feel this way. Most all of us felt this way when we could actually see college on the horizon. Right now it will be hard for you to accept this but you will feel this way again in about 40 years when retirement is on the Horizon.
Fear of the unknown of doing something new is normal as long as it isn't paralyzing. The best thing you can do for yourself is to prepare for going to college. Start talking with you parents not so much as to what they expect from you as far as grades but what they can support in the way of preparation. IF you have never been away from home, not a visit to grandparents, but to summer camp where you stay for a the summer. Could they afford to pay to be a junior counselor at some camp. By you being a junior counselor it is less expensive. You have some adult type responsibilities and you are away from home for the summer.
Apply for early acceptance if you have the grades to do so. Then visit the college and get to know the campus before you arrive for your first semester of classes. Find the dorms, the cafeteria, the different lecture halls and classrooms. In general become familiar with the campus so it is not a strange place you get dropped in.
Things mom has been doing for you since you were born you will have to do for yourself. Ask mom to teach you how to do these things now and start doing them so you are accomplished at them.
Most of all just relax going off to college is just another phase in life that once you get there you will quickly adapt to. Will you get home sick? Probably but that will pass as you become involved with school and make new friends. Just remember you will not be alone feeling as you will be. Every other freshman will feel the same. Some may not show it but underneath the smiles and the joking they will be feeling just as you are.
So relax, prepare and then enjoy your college experience for you only really get one chance at this type of college experience.
My brother is 35 years-old, and for a VERY long time, has fallen into the pattern of dating girls who are superficial and manipulative. He also has a problem where he gets serious VERY quickly and basically allows who he dates to take advantage of him. The excitement of being in a relationship blinds him to the red flags that I see all to clearly. That said, he has been dating a girl for about 2.5 months, she is 26, already divorced, and has already brought some of her things to his apartment and had my brother pay $400 to have someone organize his entire place (not to mention she put up decorations, etc)... obviously it seems a plot to infiltrate his life. When we went out a couple times, her behavior struck me as bizarre- overly high energy, and attention seeking. When we were all in a cab, at one point she put her hand on my brother's mouth and said ,"no one cares what you think." The entire ride, she was spastic, overly high energy, etc. I can see she is superficial, manipulative, and attention seeking. Worst of all, she has my brother convinced that she is not. He likes her a lot, they are very into each other, and it worries me. I need to have a talk with him but do not know how to approach the topic or what I should say. Any advice?
If you see this as a pattern in your brothers life then there is a reason your brother is attracted to this type of women. Just from what you have written I cannot say and I am not a psychologist so it would be wrong for me to even speculate. But somewhere in his formative years he became attracted to this type of women.
Your speaking to him is not going to help and may even injure your relationship with your brother. What you really need to do is to get him to a psychologist who can help him find out why he is so attracted to this type of women and to realize why he allows himself to be taken advantage of.
This will not be easy as it falls under the heading of you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. He has to want to see the psychologist and work with him or her to find out why.
If he was my brother I might say something like, "Bro it hurts me to see some of the women you date take advantage of you." "You can do better and there are women out there who will love you for who you are and not what you will do for them." "I think you should consider seeing a therapist to find out why and if it will help I will even go with you to the first few sessions."
Therapy has to be his idea to work. The offer to go with him for the first few session sis to ease him into it and to tell the therapist why he is there if he won't tell him or her himself. Then you back out of the session as they are more productive one on one.
I was wondering.. Is it ok for a 22 year old male to date a 17 year old girl as long as both are alright with it and everything is concentual?
I know of no state that allows for a 5 year difference in age between and adult and a minor. So by law you two should not be dating as you can be charged with a number of Felonies including statutory rape. Should you take her across a state line you will violate a Federal Law called the Mann Act which is similar in nature to statutory rape.
Most states in order to comply with the child left behind law have raised the age of consent to 18. They have done this so no child can drop out of school without parental consent. IF you live in one of these states she is still below the age of consent at 17 which adds more felonies.
For the most part what is important here is someone has to file a complaint. At 17 she must look at least her age if not older so it is highly unlikely some bystander will file a complaint. The complaint would have to come from her parents. IF her parents are okay with her dating you then I would think you are in the clear. So it is important to have her parent permission. If you do not have it then you should get it.
As far as the age difference goes. Age is but a number a way of tracking the years. IF you two have things in common and enjoy each others company. Then as long as you have her parents permission there should be no problem. Once she is 18 you and she are free to do as you please without any interference from the law or her parents.
How can I tell if my fiance has lost interest in me? How can I show him that I am sexy? How can I get him to love me again? Is everything my fault? I am a 32 year old woman engaged to an older black man
I do not think the problem is you. It may be the difference in ages depending on how large age difference there is. At 32 you're still young and vibrant. T say 8 to 10 years older than you he is starting to become more comfortable with life. A good meal at a fine restaurant may be more important to him then a night of sex with you. Not that he doesn't love you or think you are sexy. Just his level of comfort with you has become more comfortable and his desires have changed.
Because you have written to use I am not going to ask if you love him, you would not have written if you were not in love. What I am going to ask you to do is to take a step back and examine your life with him.
* Has he changed to a more sedated life style then when you first started dating?
* Is it taking him longer to become erect when you do make love. If so he may be suffering from early Erectile Dysfunction. One reason for a change to a more quiet life style.
* Are you living together? If so have there been any subtle changes in how he is at home.
* If you are of two different races are both your families accepting of each of you.
All of these things may enter into what you are seeing and may require a frank discussion between you. On the topic of erectile Dysfunction this is an area of concern you have to be cautious when bringing up as not to harm his ego and males have very fragile egos on this subject.
If he is on blood pressure medication. Blood Pressure medication proven to be a cause of Erectile Dysfunctions and easily fixed with a conversation between him and his doctor. High cholesterol and medication for that is also a known cause, again easily correctable by his doctor.
The most important thing for you to decide is this. If he is much older than you he is entering a stage in life where his party days are over. He wants comfort of home and some of the finer things in life he is able to afford. You still have many years where you want to go out and paint the town red. You have to chose which life style you can live with or need and decide based on your needs if you want to marry this man.
I'm 11 and we have to do a presentation on how to make something. Like a craft, how to bathe a dog, How to make cookies, ect. I have already made my poster 5 safety tips, Why?, Summary, Steps, Supplies, Title Page. I made notes and got everything ready and I was actually really excited, and promised I wouldn't be scared. ( I'm making Diy rainbow roses.. As time got closer I am getting really nervous. I have a few questions
About this
1. Why do people get nervous as the event gets closer?
2. I was not going to do it but it is 4 test grades so it would be 6 0/F. Would you do it.
3. My class laughs at everything ( They're dirty minded) And I know I'll either laugh when I'm doing it or mess up and not win a purple ribbon ( county prize)
Next part
I have been going on multiple pen pal site. I found some really great pen pals. We write letters and I get one from Germany, China. I know I can't trust many people online. Do you think its safe for me to have a pen pal?
You have asked two very good questions. Lets start with the Pen Pals first.
It is very smart of you to ask is it safe to have Pen Pals over the Web. To that the answer is both yes and no. TO have a pen pal you hook up with over a social media site it may not be safe to have that person as a Pen Pal as you never really know who the person on the other end is. They may say they are your age and even send you a picture of someone who looks to be your age. In reality though they could be an adult posing as someone your age.
When communicating with someone over the web you don't know there are several don'ts.
Don't give out your last name
Don't say where you live
Don't give out your phone numbers
Don't say where you go to school.
If you really want to have a Penpal their are registered websites you can subscribe to that are more reliable in finding you someone who is actually who they say they are. In this matter trust your parents to know what is right so talk to them first.
Why do we get nervous before a presentation? The very simple answer is no matter how well prepared we are we never feel we are prepared enough and we will make a mistake that someone will catch us on. In your case your concern is the other kids will laugh at you. They laugh at you because they know you are nervous just as they are. If by laughing at you and the others that go before them to make a mistake or even breakdown and cry then maybe the teacher will call off the presentations.
I'm a salesman I make presentations every day and I'm just as nervous as you are before every presentation. I get nervous because I am never sure how my customer is going to receive my presentation not because they will laugh at me.
You sound well prepared to make your presentation. Here is a little trick to try just before you make your presentation. Take a deep breath and look out at the kids sitting there. Picture them all sitting there in their underwear, Then smile even giggle if you want I would for it will confuse them. If you're as nervous as they are why would you giggle. Then go on and give your presentation. You will do just fine I am confident in that.
You just need make sure you show them that you're confident. Try the little trick I suggest and show then you're not as nervous as they think you are and they will be too busy wondering why you're not nervous to tease you.
I am a 21 year old female university student and my parents really just won't leave me alone! I have a curfew of 12 o clock according to them, but if I ever go out they send me messages and call constantly asking when I'll be back, well before 12. I suppose the motivation behind this question goes back to an hour ago, I asked permission to go to the mall with my friends and my father said no that its too dangerous. I've spoken to them many times about this and at the time they agree that I would have some space but they never follow through. This is making me really miserable, and I just want them to understand that I'm an adult and want to have my own life. What could I do to make them let go?
Some parents believe in an old rule that says; "If you live under my roof you live by my rules." It is a good rule and it does have its' place though it is not meant to smother someone that is a full blown adult such as you. One reason parents impose this rule and get away with it is for people like you who may not be able to live on their own and who they may be supporting through college; more so if mom and dad are paying for college. This still does not make it right. As A parent myself I have gone through this with my son when he was in college.
What I asked of him is to be respectful of us. In that as long as he lived under our roof to let us know things such as when will he be home and if he is going to be delayed to call. Why would or did we ask this. Because he is our son and while he is living with us we would and di worry if he wasn't home when he said he would be; just like when he was younger. When he finally did leave home we still worry about him and always will though it is a different type of worry. IN fact the table have now turned as he gets upset if he doesn't know where we are so know we text him when we go out and when we return.
Other things we asked of him was not to make any extra work for his mother. To keep his room neat; to respect our things and if he makes a mess to clean up after himself. In general just be a respectful adult really not too much to ask.
When a child doesn't leave home or remains at home into adulthood that transition from child to adult is missing, especially for parents. For a daughter it is a harder thing to cut the apron strings for in the eyes of most fathers a daughter will always be his little girl even when she is all grown up and has children of her own.
What you need to do is to sit your parents down and talk with them. You start by telling them how much you love them and appreciate everything they have done and are doing for you. Then you need to remind them you are 21 legally an adult who by law they can no longer protect. Not only do you have the legal right to make your own decisions it is time that you started to make your own way in the world as you will not live with them forever and you need to prepare yourself to be on your own. Doing so with the safety net of living with them is a great help but should not be as stifling as it has been.
You gone on to say that at 21 a curfew is inappropriate. Instead you will advise them of when you expect to return so they not needlessly worry. If you are going to be late you will call or text them.
Unless you are using their car it is not appropriate for some one of your age to ask permission to go someplace so you are no longer going to ask but you may advise them if so inclined. The reason you need permission if you are using their car is because you are using their car and you need their permission because you are 21 and need permission to use their car.
You are 21 and unless and until you stand up for yourself you parent will continue to smother you. You have to break the ties that bind or they will continue even after you move out.
Someone just texted me saying i have a blood clot in my leg and if anything happens I want you to know I love you how do i respond and comfort her
IF your affection for her is mutual I would suggest you respond as follows.
First, you ask if she is being treated for the blood clots and how. Is she in the hospital?
Second, depends on how she answers the first question. IF she is being treated and in the hospital. You ask which hospital and does she need anything. If she is at home being treated you can ask if there is anything you can do for her.
Third question which is really an extension of the second and relates to the first question. If she is not being treated ask why. Urge her to get treatment as blood clots are serious and can break off and go to the lungs, heart or brain causing death.
Finally if you do love her for this is a scary thing to go through and she can use all the love and support she can receive.
My friend asked me if I wanted to try "flakka" when we go clubbing next week. I texted her back that I would tell her then. What is it? Is it alcohol or a drug or something? Have you tried it and if you did should I? Thanks!
I would not recommend trying this as it is a designer drug that can be snorted, smoked, injected or swallowed. It may also be combined with other, softer drugs such as marijuana. Designer drugs can be more dangerous than most any other drugs.
It is best to stay away from all drugs this one included.