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anxiety help?
I think that I might have anxiety but I don't know how to bring it up to my parents. They would never get me therapy and if I even brought up therapy my dad would mock me. But I don't know what to do because it's getting worse and I'm not sure if this makes any sort of sense but I always feel like there's a knot in my stomach because I'm always nervous and my palms are sweaty and my underarms are sweaty and I'm shaky and I've felt this way for almost 2 years now. There's only been one time in the past 2 years that I've actually felt calm. I had just finished an essay that was due the next day and it was 3 am and I thought that I was never going to get it done but then I did and it felt like there was a tight belt around my stomach that had been unbuckled and I could finally breath but that feeling was gone when I woke up the next morning. I'm only 14 so I can't go get therapy or any sort of help myself because anything I tell my school counselor goes straight to my parents. it's mostly just general nervousness that I struggle with but I have pretty severe social phobia as well and I rarely leave the house even to come to the store or anywhere. I only go to the library. I just don't know what to do. I want the metaphorical belt to be permanently unbuckled.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
At 14 years of age you are old enough under certain circumstances to make your own doctors' appointments with or without parental permission. You may also at anytime call 911 for medical assistance and this is one type of medical assistance that 911 can and should be called for.
Remember when you were little mom and dad said if you ever were separated from them to find a police officer and they will help you. This is the same thing. Anxiety can be very harmful. You are already experiencing a form of it that is keeping you from experiencing life and hiding at home.
While I find it hard to believe if you went to you mom or dad and explained, fully as you have to us, that they would refuse to get you medical help. There are alternatives available to you. Yes your school counselor will tell your parents. IF your parents say negative things to the suggestion that you need medical help. Then the counselor must notify Child Protective Services (CPS).
Anxiety can also affect your menstrual cycle. Here is where the law says you can contact a doctor on your own as long as you are 14 or older. A Federal Law called HIPPA gives anyone 14 or older medical confidentiality and the right to seek medical assistance for anything concerning their Reproductive System. They do not need parental approval to do so and parents cannot know they have seen or what they have been treated fro by the doctor without written permission by their child to the doctor. That permission must be freely given and not coerced.
Because anxiety can affect your menstrual cycle you can seek help under that for both problems without parental permission. IF you are unable to get to a hospital or doctors office call 911 or go to the nearest Police or Fire Station for help. Both are safe havens for children.
You can also talk with a trusted teacher or school principal about this. They by law must see to it that you receive help if you come to them with this type of problem.
One again though before you do any of what I suggest above I urge you to talk with mom and Dad. As A parent I find it hard to believe any parent would make light of your problem. Our jobs as parents are to see to it you are safe, Healthy, well fed, properly clothed, housed and clean. Failure in any of these areas is unacceptable and could have us answering to CPS. So talk to your parents. IF I'm wrong then follow one of my suggestion for getting help.
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You HAVE! Absolute full-house of anxiety symptoms there. They feel so physical that it's easy to believe there's something very physically wrong. Two years is a long time to have suffered in silence mate! They muscular tightness is caused by tension (stiff neck and shoulders, feeling like somebody is sitting on your chest are also common). Likewise the shortness of breath, it's muscles involuntarily tightenning although it can feel like a heart or respiratory illness when it's really acute. The sweating and shaking (and you maybe feel your heart beating heavy, like you can 'hear' it in your ears, or beating faster) are because you're producing adrenaline and cortisone, (and other stuff). It's your body gearing-up for response to a threat, and your body does not 'know' the difference between an actual physical danger and anxiety (where the fear is what's called 'perceived'). Some have feelings of fear tha something bad is always about to happen, even full-on panic attacks). Doctors can help hear with medication known as beta-blockers. They block the 'signals' from your brain that keep kicking you into that 'threat response mode' all the time. Ultimately, to get rid of all these (horrible, I know!) symptoms you do need to find the cause of your anxiety. That's what counselling tackles. Sometimes it's about actually changing some aspect of your life that's responsible, or changing how you feel about it and react to it. Your doctor won't be prescribing beta-blockers as a very long term thing. Now, WHY are you so worried about your parents knowing you're suffering an anxiety disorder? It's NOTHING to be ashamed of. Anything can kick it off. Work stress, school stress, relationship stress, over-work, a trauma (car accidents or any sort of shock). Fear of your parents knowing/mocking/not approving, whatever is ADDING to your anxiety mate! I promise you, if I was your Dad I would HATE to think of you putting-up with these symptoms, spoiling the quality of your life and your enjoyment of things I'd want to see you out there enjoying. The symptoms can be really crippling can't they? Few things. Anxiety disorders are NOT depression (thought the symptoms can overlap a bit). They are usually easier to address and resolve. You're NOT 'losing it'. Your body's functions and responses WILL correct themselves when you resolve the causes....the symptoms will vanish. I think step one is that you DO have a chat with your parents about this, soon as possible. Arrange a time. When neither you, or they are busy doing 'other stuff'. Tell them just what you've written here. I'm repeating myself, I know but really, NO parent would like their children going through this. At 14 you're not exactly a little girl anymore. You are old enough to know yourself and be taken seriously. Put your side across in a serious, mature way. I can absolutely assure you that a doctor would diagnose anxiety. It's not a case of 'pulling yourself together' or being a bit 'moody' or 'worrying too much about stuff' or anything of the sort. Regarding beta-blockers, they're well known. Some people need them because they panic every time they take a driving test and fail because of nerves, for instance. Might be a doctor would prescribe a short course. They'll tend to 'loosen that belt' about straight away. Then you can begin to work on unbuckling it for good. Really, tell your parents. It's the first step, and the first step is always hard but it will pay off. You don't want another two years like the last, do you? There's no reason why you have to.
Maybe important ps! You might already know of some things that are at the root of your anxiety and insecurity? It can be something that happenned long ago, that you think you're OK with, and you've carried on 'as usual'. Then all of a sudden, your system has had enough, and bang, the anxiety, and all these 'fight or flight' responses overwhelm you. Think of anything? Why not write about them and post them RIGHT HERE? You might well find some enlightening answers, someone who's 'been there'. At any rate, it's good to talk. That's what counselling is all about. Think about it?
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It definitely sounds like anxiety. A mixture of anxiety, to be in fact. Regular anxiety, and social anxiety. You should get therapy, but there are also medicines for anxiety. Which includes natural meds. Anxiety, like a lot of other things, can get very out of hand, so I suggest getting help ASAP. There are some things you can do like taking relaxing baths, and listening to calming music, reading, meditating, taking a walk, and other things that relax you. Getting fresh air when you're feeling really anxious is important. Even if it is sticking your head out the window. Also, placing a heavy book on your chest sometimes helps people with anxiety. Any kind of pressure like sticking your hand in your shirt on your chest, can weirdly help. Drinking calming tea and other things work, too. You should also make sure you talk about things. I am here whenever you need someone, but that's just me.
Hope this helps~
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