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Why is my girlfriend's relationship with my little sister suffering?
Since my girlfriend was introduced to my younger sister, they've always had a real sisterly relationship (even though they're not related).
But over the past year and a half, it's been getting worse and worse.
Only a few noticeable things have happened during this time. My sister has lost A LOT of weight and she has become her high school's best track runner (she used to be overweight). My GF and I, on the other hand, have both put on a bit of weight (about 40 lbs in the past year and a half).
So, my sister has started wearing a lot of flashy, eye-catching clothes (makes sense) and my girlfriend has started wearing yoga pants and slippers (and I'm wearing sweats a lot too now).
But, the thing is, my sister and GF are not getting along like they used to. Sometimes, it feels like you can cut the tension in the room with a knife. Idk what to do / how to help? Please give me some advice?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Talk to them together. Sometimes someone knows something and instead of confrontation they just keep it in and cause tension.
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I would think the concern would be more on your sisters part. If she misses the fact that your girlfriend is no longer treating her as a sister, even less, avoiding her, that would be up to her to approach g/f and ask whats up. If she has and hasn't gotten an answer, perhaps your girlfriend knows she doesn't have a valid answer, nothing that would make sense or maybe sound petty. I think you have likely figured it out since the only change is the fact of weight loss on sister's part and weight gain for you and g/f. You personally know how it feels to once have been thinner and now gained weight so that another family member looks better than you at least in that area. I'm not saying that weight makes a person ugly. There are many overweight people who have a radient beauty about them you just can't help noticing plus they are okay with their bodies. G/f may not be feeling okay about her body and simply seeing your sister is a reminder of how she used to be, thinner. I know it was a subtle gain, approx. 2+ lbs per month but after 18 months, it sure adds up. I would think the natural solution would be to decide to lose the weight again or at least some of it. If you want to help in any way, talk your g/F into having a pact with you to work together to lose that weight again. A good place to start would be to look at your intake of food and drink. Look for all the heavy and hidden sugar items and cut those out completely. There is lots of sugar in energy drinks, soda's, even fruit juices on the shelf in grocery can have added sugar, pastries are an obvious no, junk food doesn't help and the carbs from starchy foods will also turn to sugar later. It will be hard but if you stay off sugar for a whole week and think you can limit yourself to a serving size of a cookie or two, have that as your reward at the end of a week, being sure to stick to serving size as listed on the package. Often a serving is only one or two cookies. Read servings sizes on other types of food also and try to keep to it. then get a little more exercise than you are currently. Extra weight zaps you of energy so you may have to start small, just going on walks, then biking or jogging. get a book on yoga and do that indoors with her religiously. The toning stretches not only make you more flexible with your muscles but you can lose weight over time with yoga. Dance together in your room to 3 songs in a row if you can or work up to it. Any movement is going to help some. Some people require more exercise to lose weight than others, just the body type you're born with so if your level of exercise doesnt work, up the level to more. If believe you'll both feel better about yourselves and g/f won't be jealous of your sisters weight anymore. There's a chance she said something nasty to your sister so that sis may be avoiding her also and not speaking. Don't go diggings that kind of thing up though as it could make things worse. Try to be cheery and make the weight loss project sound like a fun thing to do together and not even mention wanting to do it so you can look as thin as sister. Don't mention her. She's not the issue. It's how your friend is choosing to feel emotionally over it. So make it a goal simply on the reason of feeling healthier again and fitting into your own clothes again, stylish stuff with a reward that as each of you reach 10 lbs lost, you go out and buy a piece of clothing, even 2nd hand that fits at the 10lb less weight. Its not that hard. If you both lose 2 lbs with whats left of Apr. and 3 in May, June and July another2 and 3 minimum, you've met 10 lb by August. But of course a little more weight loss means all the sooner for your treat to yourselves. Good luck!
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