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It sounds like normal and healthy discharge. Discharge is secreted by your vagina naturally as it cleans itself. If your discharge changes suddenly in colour, smell or texture, this could be a sign of infection, but otherwise it's absolutely a normal and healthy part of being a woman.

If the wetness in your underwear bothers you, you can wear a pantyliner on days when your discharge is heavy, but this is up to you. As for guys, any guy who is put off by the natural vagina is cbviously far too immature to be sexually involved with anyone. But honestly, I think it's highly unlikely that any guy would be the least bit put off by it, as a moist vagina is a sign of sexual arousal.

In conclusion: it's normal, and don't worry about guys not liking it.

The day you start your period is Day 1 of your cycle. Your most fertile days are days 14-16 of your cycle. So if you start your period on the 6th of May, your most fertile window would be the 19th to the 21st of May. These are the times you are most likely to concieve. However, not all women's cycles are exactly the same length, so your fertile window may be before or after those dates. It's impossible to tell exactly when you are ovulating unless you are carefully studying your cycle and body temperature, so it may take a few months of you having unprotected sex for you to fall pregnant.

To recap: your should be most fertile between the 19th and the 21st of May, but your window might be before or after this if you have shorter or longer cycles than the 'average' 28 day cycle, so there is no guarantee that you will get pregnant if you have sex in your fertile window, as you can't be sure exactly when it will fall. Good luck, and all the best.

Assuming that by protection you mean condoms (as no other contraceptive protects against STDs) if everything you've said is true, then the chances of your partner having an STD are very very low. However, you can never be 100% sure that those things are true. Of course you trust your boyfriend to be truthful with you about how many people he's slept with and whether they always used condoms, but do you trust his ex-girlfriend equally? If she had other sexual partners either before or during their relationship, she could have passed something on to him without him being aware there was any risk. If they always used condoms, the risk of passing on an STD even if she had one is low, so there isn't a reason to worry excessively unless your partner displays any symptoms, in which case the both of you should get checked out by a doctor. There could also be a risk that he has herpes, as this can be passed on through sex or oral sex even if a condom is used, and many people have the virus without knowing it (a large number catching it as children when they were kissed by adults with facial coldsores).

For your own peace of mind, it might be worth your boyfriend having a full STD test anyway. It's unlikely that he has STD's and even less likely that you do given that you're using condoms, but a test will set your mind at rest. All the best.

No, absolutely not. An internal vaginal exam might reveal your hymen is broken if you've inserted fingers into your vagina, but even if this is so the doctor won't draw the conclusion that you've done anything sexual, as many girls nowadays break their hymens during everyday childhood activity or exercise.

Don't worry about it. The doctors really don't care what you have or haven't done - they only care about your health and well-being. Privacy laws also dictate that even if a doctor or nurse did suspect you of being sexually active, they wouldn't be able to tell anyone about it. All the best.

Mod note: Please don't ask the same question repeatedly. It's exceptionally annoying and will slow down the approval process. It's considered spamming to post the same thing multiple times, and in future you may be banned for it.

As for your grandmother, what is it about her that you find annoying? If she isn't being downright offensive, perhaps you just need to grit your teeth and get on with it. Family ties are important and it just simply isn't worth being rude and telling her you don't want to speak to her all she's just accidentally winding you up. That said however, you can make your calls shorter - talk to her for five minutes politely, then excuse yourself to get back to a houshold chore or job you were 'working on'.

Of course, if she's rude to you, you don't have to just sit and listen. You can politely and legitiately say that you didn't think such-and-such a comment was fair. Tackle it like an adult - don't yell or get stroppy and refuse to speak to her, or the rest of your family will think you are just being childish and should speak to her anyway. If confronting your grandmother directly is unlike to help the situation, you could try talking to your mother or father about how you find it difficult to talk to your grandmother on the phone because you feel she's rude. You are unlikley to be the only family member wound up by her, so your parents may well have either words of sympathy for your position, or words of advice as how best to tackle her on the phone. Good luck.

It could be either that you aren't lubricated enough when you try to have sex, which would cause friction, soreness and pain. However, this doesn't sound quite like what you describe because if this were the issue you'd experience more general discomfort whilst having sex and soreness afterwards, rather than just reaching a point where it hurt to insert it further. What type of pain are you experiencing? A sudden, sharp pain when you feel as if you've hit something inside you, or more of an achey soreness throughout sex?

I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but I'd recomment asking at one of the following communities which specialise in these sort of questions: http://www.livejournal.com/communities/vaginapagina or http://www.livejournal.com/communities/womenshealth

The key is to make the most of what you have. Curl your eyelashes (this gives a better result than 'curling' mascaras), then apply a coat of mascara on your top eyelashes. If you want a natural look, brown mascara is better than black. Experiment with applying mascara on the lashes underneath your eyes too, but think 'less is more'. A tiny bit can open up your eyes, but it's very easy to go overboard and for the mascara to look clumpy.

A light colour underneath the eye can also help brigten your eyes and make them appear larger. You could try a coloured eyeliner, or a subtle shade of eyeshadow just under the eyes. You can use something shimmery in the corners of your eyes too, if you want a more dramatic look. Again though, less is more.

Put aftersun lotion on the affected areas. Look for ones that contain aloe vera, and apply liberally. It can also help if you put the lotion in the fridge for half an hour or so before you apply it, so it's extra cool on your skin. This should help cool down the burning so it's not as sore, and help prevent too much flaking. This should help you feel more comfortable, but the redness just needs time to heal. Vitamins, if you don't take them already, can help your skin heal more quickly, but again, the main thing is just time.

The most common cause of burning whist peeing would be a UTI. Other symptoms of UTI (urinary tract infections) are darker than usual urine, feeling like you need to go toilet all the time and general malaise. If you have any of these symptoms, take yourself to a doctor and they'll do a simple test and prescribe you some medication that should cure you in a few days. If you do have a urinary infection, it's important to get it seen to ASAP, because otherwise it may develop into a kidney infection, which would be extremely painful for you.

Pain when going to the toilet could also be a symptom of a sexually transmitted infection. You said that you've been faithful to this person for the time you've been having sex, but as you haven't used condoms each and every time you've had sex, there could still be a possibility of infection if your partner caught something from a previous partner, or hasn't been faithful to you during your relationship. I know these don't seem like likely possibilities, but if you don't think you have a UTI, it's best to get checked out for any STD's for your own peace of mind as much as anything.

You could be allergic to latex. This is actually reasonably common. Try different condoms which don't contain latex - durex definitely make some. If switching to a non-latex containing condom doesn't help however, you should get down to a doctors and see what they say. All the best.

You can either sit and speculate about why he's doing this, or you can talk to him about it. It's easier to just sit and worry about it and get annoyed by his behaviour, but that is unlikely to get you anywhere, so you need to talk to him. Be honest with him - admit that you don't like it that he's so hot and cold with you, being lovely and sweet and the weekends, but then refusing to acknolwedge you with a kiss when other people are around.

It seems like it might be his reluctance to be in a full relationship surfacing, but if that is what's holding him back, it's better that you know now so that you don't keep on being irritated and upset by his behaviour, and you can decide whether its worth waiting for him to be ready. If he is going to be like this, you might be better finding somebody else who's all the things he is and who is also willing to show you some affection in public. But do give him a chance and hear his side of it first, and see if he's willing to change once he knows how much you dislike his behaviour, because he won't change unless he knows how you feel. All the best.

It can be very difficult to get your child to give up their pacifier, so take things slowly. If you suddenly remove it, then she'll probably really fight you for it until you cave in, which makes it much harder for you to take it away for good the next time you try. Instead, try doing it slowly. Explain to your daughter that you think she's old enough to be giving up the pacifier. Then let her have it only when she's trying to sleep, and the only when you think she particuarly needs it.

If it's possible, encourage your daughter to want to give up. If she see's being without her pacifier as a grown up thing, she'll be more willing to co-operate, although obviously young children do not always have this willpower, this can be a powerful technique. When my half-sister was giving up when she was about 2 years old, she finally choose to throw away her finally pacifier herself. If you can convince your daughter that this is something that's good for her and she wants to, then the whole process becomes easier. For this reason, it can be easier waiting until the child is a little older and easier to reason with, but it depends on the child. There will be tough nights when she has difficulty settling, but persistance will pay off. Good luck!

Different things work for different people. Experiment with a few different types of snack, and see what works for you. Personally, I absolutely love raw carrots for munching on when I'm hungry, but there are lots of things you could try. Fruit is always good, but some things are better than others - you can get little packets of dried fruits, which are good for snacking on, but these can actually contain lots of sugars, so watch out and check the packet. Cereals are also good in moderation, especially ones containing lots of fibre, which will be really filling.

Also, if you don't already, eat a good breakfast in the morning, and you'll be less likely to want to snack during the day, as well as generally having more energy. All the best.

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It's a difficult balance. On the one hand, many people experiencing grief don't want to feel that everyone is pitying them and they can't just behave normally. She may just want to get through the day, and if you behave normally, that makes things considerably easier for her. However, there will also be times when this girl needs her friends for support, and if you are too 'normal', she may feel that you have forgotten or don't understand, and so feel unable to confide in you.

Be sensitive. Make it clear to Tina that you are there for her if she needs a shoulder to cry on or ever wants to talk, but otherwise, continue treating her normally. She'll be reassured that her friends do understand that what she's going through is incredibly difficult, but that they also respect that she doesn't want people to be treading around on tip-toes around her, so affraid of upsetting her that she can't return to normality.

Explain to your other friends that you aren't trying to be cold, you are just trying to help Tina get on with her life, which is what you think she currently needs. Once they realise that you have your best intention at heart, they should be more understanding. All the best.

A watched pot never boils, as they say. Measuring yourself every day won't make you grow any faster. You grow gradually, so even when you are growing, you won't notice a difference if you measure yourself every day, as most of the difference will just be because of the way you are standing (you appear shorter in the evenings because you've been standing for a day, and so don't stand as tall, whereas after you've had a good nights sleep you are relaxed and your body is stretched out).

I'm 19 now, and I've been 5'1 since I was 12 or so. Perhaps you will have another growth spurt, but perhaps you won't. You really do need to just learn to love your body as it is, however you turn out in the end. The first step towards accepting yourself as you are is to stop obsessing about your height - that means no more constant measuring. All the best.

L'Oreal and Clairol are good, but they'll only work if you buy an appropriate product for your hair. You cannot lighten your hair without bleaching it first. As you have very dark hair, if you want to see any real change in colour, your going to have to either highlight it or otherwise ligten it first before the brown dye will take to your hair.

Generally speaking, it's a bad idea to bleach your hair at home, especially if you haven't dyed it before. My advice would be to visit a professional hairdresser and either get them to do it for you, or at least ask them how realistic dying your hair lighter is.

You have every right to your opinions, and it's good to talk and debate about what you think is right. However, others have equal right to their opinions, and this means that you will run in to people who you disagree with. The best way for an opinionated person such as yourself to combat this is to talk to people you both agree and disagree with about the topics concerned, as listening to all sides of the argument helps you learn and develop your own opinions further.

If somebody uses language that you find offensive, call them on it. Don't be rude or aggressive, but if you calmly ask them if they think that's an acceptable word to use, then you are drawing attention to the fact that not everyone is comfortable with this type of language, and will hopefully also prompt them to think about the implications of what they are saying. Sometimes all it takes is for one person to make a stand for things to die down.

With contraversial political topics such as abortion though where you may want to dive in with bold statements about how you feel, you also have to be aware of how others feel and be a bit sensitive to others opinions. If you just jump in shouting "but how can you think that? Abortion is just wrong!", or similar, people are unlikely to want to talk about the issue with you as you've failed to say anything constructive. As with the prevoius issue, if you want to debate, approach the topic calmly, inviting the other person to talk about why they feel the way they do, before you explain the way you do, and this way you can actually hope to educate the other person about the way you feel. You can be passionate and firm in your opinions without becoming aggressive to people with different opinions or patronising them.

However, there are some fights that you will never win, and it is worth knowing which battles to pick. Even with intelligent debate, you are unlikely to convert somebody who is pro-choice to your viewpoint, just as they would be unlikely to convert you. That doesn't mean talking to them isn't worthwhile for both parties, but you do need to know when to back down and accept that it is something you will just never agree on.

Thank you. It's really nice of you to take the time to comment - you made me smile when I had a root canal done today, so that's rather an achievement.

Hailey

People sometimes talk about 'just knowing' that they are in love. This on the one hand seems to be all there is to it, but on the other hand totally inadequate, because how do you "just know"?

The truth is, you just have to look inside yourself and be honest about how you feel. Love is difficult to define, and there are different types of love. But ask yourself questions to discover how you really feel - what are your feelings based on - appearances, or the 'whole package'? Can you see your feelings fizzling out? Are you thinking about the long term?

Sometimes romantic feelings can be completely overwhelming, and when we are blissfully happy we immediately want to call that 'love', but when the relationship fizzles out, you realise that though you maybe had passion and intensity, there were things missing and that you perhaps didn't feel for each other as strongly as you thought you did at the beginning. The sad truth is that this is something that is more often that not realised only after a relationship has ended.

Don't rush into declaring that you love somebody. Try to take a step back and look at your relationship from a distance - are you just infatuated and blinded by a new relationship, or are your feelings deeper?

As for telling if somebody else loves you, sadly, there just isn't a foolproof way, as people are capable of lying, misleading or ignoring their feelings. If you have a romantic relationship with somebody however, it should be based on mutual trust and understanding the nature of the relationship so that you shouldn't be questioning how they feel.

Thank you! I shall make sure I check out your column.

Hailey