I have been in a 6 month long relationship with my girlfriend. Over the time I have realized she doesn't respect who I really am and seems to degrade me for it.
She's pulling me away from my music (which I enjoy and want to make a career out of), insults my friends (who mean allot to me and helped me through so much hard times) and wants me to cut my hair and shave my beard (I'm a huge hippie).
It seems to her, everything is wrong with me, and she is absoloutely perfect. I am just a disgrace.
I feel she wants to make me the kind of guy which I REALLY HATE which will make her happy yet me lifeless and miserable, not feeling HAPPY.
What is your opinion on this?
Why are you still with her?
In her eyes, you will never be the man she wants you to be. It's no one's fault, you just aren't compatible. I've been there, I was in a relationship for a year with a guy who just couldn't live up to my expectations no matter how hard he tried. I constantly tried to make it 'his fault', when really, it was me trying to turn him into something he couldn't be.
I'm sure there's something that has stopped you from breaking up with her but you haven't mentioned one good thing about the relationship here. It might be tough but it'll be a whole lot tougher in another six months when you've invested even more time and effort into a relationship that won't work.
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I am a 14 year old girl. This guy in my class has a girlfriend but I think he kinda likes me what do I do if I kinda like him back?? We don't talk to each other though. What do I do?!
Don't pursue him while he is still in a relationship. For one, there's nothing to say that a guy who is prepared to cheat on his girlfriend to be with you won't cheat on you too.
If he likes you and wants to be with you more than he wants to be with his girlfriend then he will break up with her.
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Are you supposed to do homework by yourself, or with other people, so you can have a better advantage?
And why?
When people do homework together, without the teacher saying so, is that cheating? Or when people copy homework from other people. Or is that having the best advantage?
I thought you were only supposed to get answers from other people when you didn't understand something and needed help. But copying directly from someone else, or doing certain parts just to get the work done faster. It's not ethically right, and I thought that is not how homework is supposed to be either. But my mom thinks otherwise, and now I'm really confused.
I'm a 17 year old junior.. and it takes me longer to do work and everything cause I never cheat with homework like that. Honestly I'll admit I cheat occasionally on tests and quizzes, but I'll admit its wrong. If I spent more time studying, which I'm trying to do, to be a better student, I wouldn't have needed to do that. I only get answers when I don't understand something but I thought that's what the main point of homework was.. to only ask when you needed help. and there's a difference between having help and being lazy. at least admit its wrong.. people seem to act like its okay and everything. and then they wonder why our world is so f***ed up. from someone copying work from someone else to "get the best advantage" to a politicians avoiding taxes to "get the best advantage", its the same f***ing concept.
Are we supposed to try and have the best advantage or do what is ethically right? I am so confused.
Homework is there to make sure you understand what you have learnt in class and to reinforce the ideas, if you just copy others' work without looking at it properly yourself, you aren't going to fully understand what to do. However, there's a difference between doing your homework or studying with others and just copying their work.
All through school I often did homework with my friends, in fact, I still do now I'm at university. As long as you are adding your own input and not just sitting back and letting the others do all the work, it isn't cheating. There may be occasions when a friend has to explain something to you or help you out with a certain concept or problem but the whole idea of a study group is that you return the favour.
If you would rather do your homework by yourself and you aren't understanding everything, then don't be afraid to ask your teacher for more help. You don't have to make a big deal out of this if you're embarrassed, just a quick note to say 'I struggled with this problem, could you give me some extra help?' on your homework will be enough.
As for 'getting the best advantage'? Working hard on your studies and clarifying points you don't understand so that you know your stuff when it comes to exams and tests is the way to go about that.
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I have recently came to Australia on a 3 month visa with my friend who is an Australian citizen and payed for my ticket here and with the understanding of her getting me a ticket back home and now the situation has changed with no means whatsoever of getting back to the Uk :-(
If there is no way anyone (friend, relative?) back in the UK can loan you the money then your only real option is to go to the UK embassy. Some consulates will offer emergency loans to stranded travellers or they will offer you advice. This website lists the locations and numbers of regional Consular offices for Australia: http://ukinaustralia.fco.gov.uk/en/help-for-british-nationals. You will need to contact the office which covers the area you are staying in.
If you are staying in Melbourne then this organisation may also be of some assistance:
http://www.travellersaid.org.au/node/4
Whatever you do, don't just leave it and let your visa run out. If you are deported, you will probably not be allowed back into the country ever again and may be denied visas from other countries in future.
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The last time i had sex was about 2 weeks ago, and altough the guy washed off each time we had sex, i never went pee or washed off or anything. A few days ago i noticed some wierd odor coming from down there, i googled if it could be a uti or a yeast infection, but it doesn't hurt to urinate, nor does it itch. I notice some light burning, but not too much. The main problem is the smell and that's the only symptom pretty much. What could it be? I don't know if i should go get it checked out or to relax and see if the odor fades.
UTI, yeast infection, STI, nothing at all..whatever it is you need to go and see your doctor to make sure everything's okay and to get any necessary treatment. Yes, there's a possibility that the odour will just go away on its own but if it is something nasty, it's not worth the risk.
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A girl classmate of mine (I'm also a girl) looks at me like I'm an alien or something. I found out that she hates me because when I was walking past her while she was talking to her best friend, I heard her say (they were talking really loud), "I really hate her! She's acts so..." I know that they were talking about me 'cause they said my name. Many people actually has a crush on her, 'cause they think that she's pretty and nice. But they don't know that she calls me mean names sometimes. What should I do?
When I was younger my Mum always used to tell me that girls are only ever nasty to other girls because they're jealous. I used to that was stupid but actually, most of the time it's true. Think about it, have you ever bitched about a pretty, popular girl just because they're pretty and popular? I know I have. Girls will find any excuse to talk about other girls. You've given your classmate no reason to make her hate you so why else would she bitch?
Be civil to her and never retaliate. If you sink to her level then you're adding fuel to the fire and she will probably get worse. By calling you names she's crossing the line from bitching to bullying and you don't have to put up with that. Consider telling a trusted teacher about what's going on if it's getting you down.
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i am 13, i have gotten fingered and felt up multiple times.. it isnt bad because it feels good but im also only in 6th grade. i have sent pictures.. but with a bra on. i am not dating the person who fingered me or felt me up, and it has happend with more than one guy. please tell me what u think.
I don't like labelling people as 'slutty' because I think people are entitled to do as they wish sexually, as long as it doesn't impact negatively on other people and they understand the implications. Unfortunately, it's likely that your peers will view you as a 'slut' and you know that, or you wouldn't be asking.
However, I don't think that's the issue here. The issue is that you are a child. At 13, not only is it illegal for you to be engaging in sexual activities, you are also unlikely to be emotionally ready for any implications. As for sending pictures, that's dangerous territory. Any explicit images could land you and anyone who has copies of them in very hot water indeed. Want to know why? Because it would be considered child pornography. Regardless, teenage boys aren't the most subtle or tactful. Any pictures you've sent are likely to have been circulated or at the very least shown to his friends.
Ultimately it is your body and you're going to do what you want with it. Having said that, you certainly aren't going to gain any respect from yourself or anyone around you by doing what you're doing and it's pretty likely you'll regret your actions when you're older.
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So while my boyfriend was in another state, I went to a party and ended up very drunkenly cuddling with another guy - my friend that likes me but I have NO INTEREST in him, in his bed all night, with my panties off. I told my bf everything the next morning and also told him I think we might have kissed. There is still one thing that is eating me up, I am pretty sure that at one point I was touched down there, the thing is I don't exactly remember if I touched myself or if I pulled the guys hand to touch me thinking it was my bf or maybe I just wanted it, but I remember as soon as I felt it getting touched I stopped it. Now we talked about it twice and he is over it but I feel like I am lying to him if I don't tell him this one thing-
should I just let it go because it might not have even happened and I'll be worrying him for no reason and possibly break up and it was just a dream (I have very vivid dreams) or should I tell him and risk losing this amazing relationship? I'm so torn right now... I don't want to lose him but if I don't tell him I feel like I'm lying but maybe it didn't even happen! AHHH what do I DO??!?!
Let it go. Your boyfriend has forgiven you. There's no point damaging your relationship with your boyfriend if you can't even remember what really happened. If you regret it and it won't happen again then leave it at that.
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17/F
My boyfriend of 8 months and I just had sex for the first time yesterday. At first it took a while, because I was a virgin and my hymen hadn't broke yet. It hurt a little, and I was bleeding afterward. It's now the day after; It doesn't hurt anymore, but it's still bleeding. Is that normal? Thanks a bunch! :)
It's normal to bleed a little for a couple of days after you've had sex for the first few times. If the bleeding continues and it's not your period then you might want to visit your doctor to make sure nothing is wrong.
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This may be long... I'm 20. My boyfriend is 24. We've dated for about 3 years. He's done the college thing and has graduated. I've been at a local college so we've been able to stay together...but in a few months I'll be going away for my other 2 years of college. We've discussed the fact that it will be best that we break up when I go away. He doesn't want me to miss out on the college experience and being single, and honestly I don't either. But we agreed on staying together until then through the summer.
Last night he broke up with me. It was completely unexpected. This sounds selfish, but I thought that if anyone would bring up breaking up it would be me. It took a lot for him to do it and I know how much it hurt him. Bacially he feels like we have this huge heavy cloud over us (the fact that I'm going away and we'll be broken up) and he can't handle being with me and pretending like hes okay with it. He told me he doesn't want to break up and he loves me, but he feels this is the right thing to do. I can't say I don't agree with him. I'm not bitter towards him at all. I really want him to be happy. But I'm left completely heartbroken.
Anyways, he has always said it is a possibility that we may end up together in a year or two, but he wouldn't want to date again until I'm done with college. He feels that I will "learn a lot about myself" during that time, and will grow from it. He still feels this way, and he says he doesn't want to completely stop talking or completely stop seeing each other.
That said, I'm expecting to have fun in college and meet guys and maybe even date once I am over this. I would like to think that he and I could end up together in the end, if that's what we both want, so I don't want to completely cut communication ties. I will be coming home for holidays and stuff because my college is only a few hours away from home.
So, my question is, should I see him when I come home? Would that just make it harder on us? I feel that since we're breaking up now we will both be over it (well, somewhat over it) by that time anyways. I really don't want to never see him again. We had a really good thing going and we both knew it. The only reason we're breaking up is because of the college thing... and I know we're going to miss each other. Any sort of advice/experience would be extremely helpful. Sorry for the length... thanks so much!
WittyUsernameHere did a great job of answering this but I'll add my thoughts anyway.
Why on Earth would you sacrifice a great relationship, with someone you love and who loves you back for a few hook ups? What do you think you're missing out on? Some immature, drunk boys whose names you don't even know? I've been at university since September and at first getting drunk and fooling around with guys was great. But it gets boring very, very quickly when you realise those flings are meaningless and shallow and now I really regret it. The guys you hook up with in college are unlikely to care about you or love you like your boyfriend does.
If you're planning on getting back together with him after you've finished college anyway then why bother breaking up? Being single and playing the field for a while is likely to do more harm than good for your relationship. If you do get back together, you'll both have to deal with the fact that you spent a couple of years sleeping with other people.
Yes, staying together through college will be tough but you've been together for three years already and you love each other. I'm sure you could make it work if you put the effort in. Please don't throw away a good relationship for the sake of a few college experiences you will almost certainly regret.
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18/f. My boyfriend and I are starting to think about sex. We have been dating 7 months and are in love. This is a question about preventing pregnancies, so please don't lecture me on "saving my virginity" because I already had sex once and it's what I want. I do realize the consequences. Getting pregnant and STI's. But my boyfriend and I have agreed that we are going to be safe and careful.
Here's my question
Ive never had birth control before. The first time we had sex we used a spermicidal condom and a few days after that I saw an article about teen pregnancies in a magazine and in a tv show. I started to freak out and get really scared but he didn't cum in me and also he wasn't deep. Only like 2 inches. Do you think its possible for me to get pregnant if he did that?
Anyways, after my freak out we had a talk and decided I should get birth control. But heres the catch, my parents can't find out. And also I have no idea where to get any. Do I have to take exams in order to get some birth control?
Last question. Do you think it's safe to have sex without the pill? Like if we used a spermicidal condom and Super careful. We know the proper way to use it and how to check for leaks and tears. Like do you think if I didn't get the pill, would the condom still prevent 98% of pregnancies?
Also my boyfriend mentioned the morning after pill (plan b I think?) how effective is that? If I didn't get the pill and just used condom and then morning after pill if there was a leak, would that be ok?
1 more question- could I get pregnant if we used a condom but the condom doesn't break, is there a chance of pregnancy?
Oh and I prefer not to use any other female protection method. I don't want to use a cup or anything.
Amy more advice or tips? Thanks!!
Well done for thinking so carefully about this!
First of all, stop freaking out about the condom. Condoms get alot of bad press but they still remain a safe and reliable method of contraception and a barrier against STI's. They are 98% effective when used correctly, this means that in a year, around 2 out of 100 women will get pregnant. If he didn't ejaculate inside you AND he was wearing a condom, your chances of pregnancy are second to none. The chances of you getting pregnant if the condom doesn't break are very slim, just make sure your partner holds onto the condom firmly as he withdraws to avoid any sperm leaking out. Many couples do choose to just use condoms and get along just fine but like any method of contraception, they are not 100% reliable.
The sensible option would be to go on birth control and use condoms. The Pill is around 99% effective if taken correctly but condoms would provide that extra back up not to mention protecting you from any STI's. Your chances of getting pregnant if you use both of these methods correctly would be very, very low.
You don't mention where you are but in most places, you can get birth control free and without your parents finding out. You are over 18 anyway so there is no reason for your doctor to inform your parents. In the UK you can visit your GP or local GUM clinic. I'm not 100% on the system in the US but I know there are Planned Parenthood clinics where you will be able to get contraception. There is no 'exam', a doctor or nurse will just ask you a few questions about family history, whether or not you smoke etc and take your blood pressure. He/she will probably also have a chat with you about any side effects and other potential methods.
The morning after pill is NOT to be used as a regular form of contraception. It should only be used if your other methods have failed. If you do choose to use condoms by themselves and one breaks then you should take it. It is effective up to 72 hours after unprotected sex but it is best to take it within 12 hours. The failure rate is less than 10% but it becomes less effective the longer you leave it.
As for extra advice or tips, do look into alternative methods such as the contraceptive injection or the coil if you haven't already. The advantage with these is that you don't have to remember to take them on time or worry about them, which makes them alot more effective.
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20 female.
So every one tells me that i still look really pretty without make-up. I won't lie i will go out in public without make-up and it doesn't bother me. I do usually wear make-up when I go outbut I'm not like some girls where they have to always have make-up on. Usually when I'm around guys, and its night time or something I'll take a shower and so I'll have no make-up on and my hair will be all gross haha (my hair is kind of wavy, but not cute when i leave it naturally) My best friend that i'm always with freaks out whenever a guy might have to see her without make-up and I don't see it as a big deal. Sometimes I feel less pretty around her because I won't have any make-up after a shower and she will be all done up still though.
For instance. Last weekend we were at a hotel and four of our guys friends stayed with us in the same room. I just had to take a shower because I always do at night so I don't feel gross. So i had no make-up on and my hair not done. I guess I didn't really care. But my friend got in the shower and just washed her body off and didn't get her hair wet and didn't take her make-up off.
I guess my question is, do guys really care if a girl doesn't ALWAYS have her make-up on? I asked one of my guy friends that night at the hotel if i looked different without make-up because people tell me i don't look that different and he said "no, but that's a good thing!" i don't want to be walking around sometimes without make-up with me thinking it's not a big deal and guys are thinking "oh gross, whats she doing"
Any comments are welcomed thanks!
You should be proud that unlike most girls, you don't feel the need to wear a full face of make up all the time.
I get what you mean about the feeling gross next to your friend thing. My flatmate won't even go into the kitchen without her hair and make up done if one of our male flatmates is in there whereas I won't bother with it unless I'm going somewhere. It's easy to feel unattractive next to someone who is constantly well groomed when you're not but be thankful that you're comfortable enough with your appearance to be able to not bother sometimes.
Most of the guys I know prefer girls who aren't high maintenance. Sure, they don't want their girlfriends to look scruffy all the time but they don't want to spend hours waiting for them to put their faces on either.
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18 - Eyebrows realy need to be done because they are looking horrendous! It will be my first time and I'm scared because if I go to a salon I'm scared that it will be liek overdone and I dont trust myself doing it. Advice please?
It's a good idea to go to a salon the first time as they will shape your eyebrows for you. After that, you can just pluck hairs as they grow back in without much trouble if you'd rather not keep paying someone to do it.
Ask around and see if any of your friends or family can recommend a good salon or use the internet to look for reviews. If the person is a trained professional it's unlikely that they will make a mistake and you will be able to choose the shape and style you want. If you explain to them that it's your first time they will probably be more helpful and put you at ease.
It's one of those things that once you've done it, you wonder why you thought it was such a big deal.
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Okay so I'm in a wicked sticky situation. There's this guy and he is absolutely the hottest thing you will ever set your eyes on. (: He's not all that tall but I don't mind cause I'm only 5'1". But he's got blond hair, amazing brown eyes and a body that kills. I am so attracted to him and the other day he asked me, If I wanted to have sex with him. I was like "YES" but, the only place we could do it would be in our highschool, Risky I know. But I really want too. I've already lost my virginity so it's not like the first time I have sex will be in a school bathroom but just.. any thoughts? should I do it? thanks.
Don't do it.
If you get caught, you will almost certainly be suspended from school, possibly on a permanent basis. Your parents would also be informed. If the school allows you to stay, you will have a bad reputation with staff and students alike until the end of your high school career.
If you're prepared to risk your education for a sleazy quickie in a toilet then go for it.
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I don't know if I'm expecting "too much" from my roommate but I wish she could be more considerate about what she does and says. My biggest problem with her right now is the inordinate amount of noise she makes when I'm trying to sleep. I don't get much sleep at night because I'm up late studying and up early going to classes. When I take a valuable nap in the middle of the day, she claims she didn't realize and/or didn't see me. During those times and when I go to sleep before her/sleep in after she wakes up, she is so inconsiderate and loud. Some examples include leaving the door to the common room open - my suitemates are obnoxiously loud and it lets in a hefty amount of light and noise, bumps into my bed (it shakes it enough to startle me), closes her drawers and closet with too much energy, throws her granola box to the side after she's done crunching them in her open mouth, has phone conversations in the room, turns on music or the light, brushes her teeth in the room with her electric toothbrush, etc. I have already asked her to be careful when I'm sleeping because she wakes me up...in vain.
What's more aggravating is that she tells ME to be quiet when she's getting her precious 9 hours of sleep. First of all, she signed up to be in a morning suite when she's not willing to get up any tie before 9am. I have 8am classes almost everyday so I have changed my routine a lot just to make my mornings as quiet as possible - laying out my outfit in the mornings, packing my bags at night, using my phone alarm instead of my alarm clock, changing my lamp lightbulb to a dimmer one, etc. But she STILL tells me to be quiet because I wake her up when in reality she rarely wakes up except when she is sleeping really lightly. I am quiet as a mouse in the morning but I have no motivation to do so.
Just 4 hours ago, at 3am, she knocked the top half of my desk (it's a detached shelf like component) in her sleep. She says "Sorry, haha" and goes RIGHT back to sleep while I spend an hour putting it back up and picking up everything that fell and lying awake in my bed, super annoyed.
She also has a tendency to demean the college we go to. She says that this was her back up and she should've gotten into an Ivy League but doesn't know why she didn't. She says everyone here is such a slack with no motivation to do well. She talks about transferring, how she's so shocked at how low of a standard the school and kids have, etc. First of all, this school she is talking about is UVA - #2 public college in the US. Second of all, does she not realize that she's not doing so hot academically here yet she says UVA kids are stupid and she should've gone to an Ivy? Third of all, does she not realize how annoying and insulting that is?
I only have 2 months left before the semester ends, but I am at my wit's end and on the verge of just screaming my head off at her. What should I do? What should I say?
As Razhie has said, with 2 months left it's probably not worth doing anything now.
I've been living with inconsiderate, loud and rude flatmates since September and like you I'm nearing the end of the semester so I'm just dealing with it until I can move out.
My flatmates think it's acceptable to come in at 3 or 4am every morning after a night out, make as much noise as possible, put loud music on and even kick my door. In the 7 months that I've been living here, I think I've had about 8 nights of uninterrupted sleep. Originally, I tried being just as loud when I came in but found that only encouraged them to be worse.
It's annoying to put up with but the best thing you can do now is to continue to be civil to her and ignore her as much as you can. You don't have to listen to her bitching. The next time she starts, say something like 'I think it's a good college' and leave it at that. She'll soon get the message.
Just think next semester you can live with people you actually like. I'm sharing a house with 3 of my friends next year and I know it's going to be 100% better.
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months. We've been friends for a while though. We are around each other almost 24 7 and if not together we are on the phone.
Sometimes I think about it. I know his likes, his dislikes, where he's from, his middle name, etc, but I feel like I do not know him enough for real. It doesn't scare me, because we have the perfect chemistry, but I want to know him more without crazy questions like a dating site!
Any tips?
After two months, you're not going to know everything there is to know about each other. The 'deeper' stuff comes later, as you spend more time together. Everytime you have a conversation with him you're learning a little more about him. Don't put pressure on yourself to find out everything straight away, or you'll miss out on the process of getting to know each other on a deeper level.
My parents have been married for 20 years and sometimes one of them will mention something from their past that the other still doesn't know about. Don't think of it as a negative thing, it means you've got lots to look forward to as your relationship develops.
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whats consider cheeting? i just wanna know thanks.. im a 15 year old girl!!
For me, anything you wouldn't do with someone else in front of your partner. So ask yourself 'Would I do this in front of my partner?' Would he/she be okay with this?' If the answer is no then you can probably consider that cheating.
Personally, I'd be annoyed if a boyfriend of mine went any further than a friendly hug and peck on the cheek with another girl.
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Okay so I have a bf, and we have been going out for 2 months. And I have a guy friend that asked me to give him a picture of me in my bra, should I?
After two months, I wouldn't even give my boyfriend a picture of me in my bra if I were you.
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Hi, i had sex for the first time with my friends ex boyfriend. I am 14 years old, and now she doesn't talk to me anymore. (if she would find out about the sex shed probably kill me.) We used protection, but he doesn't seem to love me but i think I'm falling for him. What should i do to get him to like me (BTW he isn't my boyfriend) I am Female and 14 years old. I am from America
Of course he doesn't love you, he's a 14 year old boy. There is nothing you can do to 'get him to like you'. It's really tough having sex with someone you have feelings for who doesn't return them but it happens to the best of us. You're 14, the chances of this boy being the love of your life are very slim. It's unfortunate that you didn't lose your virginity to someone who loves and cares about you but sadly that's pretty common too.
Personally, I think that at 14 you are far too young to be having sex anyway. If I were you I'd refrain from going there again until I was older and in a relationship but I know it's unrealistic for me to tell you not to have sex. If you're going to do it make sure you're safe and use contraception.
Learn from this experience and be a better friend in future.
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So last thursday 3/17/11; me and this guy darryl walked home and we ended up in a small field..and had sex plain and simple,
i got home really REALLY late(4:15)..of course im not going to tell my mom..
but she took away everything until i told 'the truth'..should i tell the truth if not...i really good excuse??
15/f
16/m
It's not that I condone lying but I can understand that you don't want your mother knowing about your sex life. I don't tell my Mum everytime I sleep with someone, although she knows I am sexually active.
I suggest you tell her you were with a boy, but not that you had sex. Apologise for getting home so late and for not telling her where you were.
If you didn't use a condom and you're not on contraception then you need to get pregnancy and STI tests. I'm not going to tell you not to have underage sex because if you want to do it, you'll do it anyway but in future, don't be so irresponsible.
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