|
My roommate is SO LOUD
I don't know if I'm expecting "too much" from my roommate but I wish she could be more considerate about what she does and says. My biggest problem with her right now is the inordinate amount of noise she makes when I'm trying to sleep. I don't get much sleep at night because I'm up late studying and up early going to classes. When I take a valuable nap in the middle of the day, she claims she didn't realize and/or didn't see me. During those times and when I go to sleep before her/sleep in after she wakes up, she is so inconsiderate and loud. Some examples include leaving the door to the common room open - my suitemates are obnoxiously loud and it lets in a hefty amount of light and noise, bumps into my bed (it shakes it enough to startle me), closes her drawers and closet with too much energy, throws her granola box to the side after she's done crunching them in her open mouth, has phone conversations in the room, turns on music or the light, brushes her teeth in the room with her electric toothbrush, etc. I have already asked her to be careful when I'm sleeping because she wakes me up...in vain.
What's more aggravating is that she tells ME to be quiet when she's getting her precious 9 hours of sleep. First of all, she signed up to be in a morning suite when she's not willing to get up any tie before 9am. I have 8am classes almost everyday so I have changed my routine a lot just to make my mornings as quiet as possible - laying out my outfit in the mornings, packing my bags at night, using my phone alarm instead of my alarm clock, changing my lamp lightbulb to a dimmer one, etc. But she STILL tells me to be quiet because I wake her up when in reality she rarely wakes up except when she is sleeping really lightly. I am quiet as a mouse in the morning but I have no motivation to do so.
Just 4 hours ago, at 3am, she knocked the top half of my desk (it's a detached shelf like component) in her sleep. She says "Sorry, haha" and goes RIGHT back to sleep while I spend an hour putting it back up and picking up everything that fell and lying awake in my bed, super annoyed.
She also has a tendency to demean the college we go to. She says that this was her back up and she should've gotten into an Ivy League but doesn't know why she didn't. She says everyone here is such a slack with no motivation to do well. She talks about transferring, how she's so shocked at how low of a standard the school and kids have, etc. First of all, this school she is talking about is UVA - #2 public college in the US. Second of all, does she not realize that she's not doing so hot academically here yet she says UVA kids are stupid and she should've gone to an Ivy? Third of all, does she not realize how annoying and insulting that is?
I only have 2 months left before the semester ends, but I am at my wit's end and on the verge of just screaming my head off at her. What should I do? What should I say?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
Dear Rowdy Roomate,
I'm going to adress all the issues: 1. She is degrading your school because she thinks she's better, she's not, but ask her this when she says it again "then, why are you here?!"
2. I've studied up a little and this is what you should do: you could make a roomate contract going over what you do in situations with hookups, bedtimes, ask for permission for borrowing, and getting a few hours of alone time in the room etc. Tell her that you two will make sure that when you have an early class, you'll only turn on the desk lamp, and she should do the same. hope this helps!
]
As Razhie has said, with 2 months left it's probably not worth doing anything now.
I've been living with inconsiderate, loud and rude flatmates since September and like you I'm nearing the end of the semester so I'm just dealing with it until I can move out.
My flatmates think it's acceptable to come in at 3 or 4am every morning after a night out, make as much noise as possible, put loud music on and even kick my door. In the 7 months that I've been living here, I think I've had about 8 nights of uninterrupted sleep. Originally, I tried being just as loud when I came in but found that only encouraged them to be worse.
It's annoying to put up with but the best thing you can do now is to continue to be civil to her and ignore her as much as you can. You don't have to listen to her bitching. The next time she starts, say something like 'I think it's a good college' and leave it at that. She'll soon get the message.
Just think next semester you can live with people you actually like. I'm sharing a house with 3 of my friends next year and I know it's going to be 100% better.
]
Honestly, if you've got two months left I'd just grin and bear it. You've passed the time when it would be possible to create a healthier and more respectful enviroment.
Change is hard.
Riding it out might be the best bet.
Buy earplugs and a sleep mask, and learn to use them.
I know they are awkward and uncomfortable at first - but it's a worthwhile skill to have.
Someday you might find out the love of your life snores like a mofo, or works the midnight shift, and you'll be glad you put in the effort now - even though this girl doesn't deserve you going out of your way.
Keep being as polite as you can in your morning routine, and ignore her, end the conversation or walk away when she whinges and moans about the university - you aren't her friend - you don't have to listen to her bitch.
If you really want advice, you might try talking to whatever type of Don or RA you have on your floor or building - they exist to mediate the kinds of conversations you two need to have. That mediated conversation, and private seperate preson to gripe too, will probably be more productive than trying to handle this yourself. That is, after all, the whole point of living in the dorm - a little extra support while you learn to live as an adult. You don't have to go it alone.
]
I dont know how dorm rooms are set up or anything do you have your own room? If so id just get a lock. but im assuming you share a room or something or else you would of thought of that. Two months go quick and maybe next semester you can change dorm rooms some how. you have to give to get what you want. but it sounds like there isnt much to give to this girl. she sounds like she wants to be able to hang out and kick it with her room mate rather than study. can you tell the college that she signed up for an am dorm but shes not even taking am classes or being respectful to your needs at all.
]
You need to discuss it with her very calmly or it could turn into an argument. What's the most important thing to you in regards to this situation? Explain to her what that is. For example, if you just want quality sleep then tell her you aren't getting that. Ignore her annoying qualities. Are you rooming with her next year? If you are then you should get a new roommate assignment. If you speak to her and it just isn't getting any better, then talk to your RA about it. You might be able to move or have her moved for the remainder of the semester.
]
More Questions: |