caden's

advice

Ok this is going to be sorta long so if your not ging to read it all then dont read it! Ill rate a 5 to whoever deserves it!

Ok so heres my tale......

One month ago today was the greatest day of my life my x boyfriend asked me out and I said yes! well heres how I met him

I am in R.O.T.C. and so is he Im a freshman hes a senior. Well I went to do colorguard and hes colorguard commander and he said I was hot asked me out and I turned him down. Well 2 weeks later I noticed he was hot and sweet and was destinded to be with me! well on thursday the 27 of September there was a dance and I asked him to meet me there at the school. He shows up 2 hrs late with this grl and I thought it was his sister. He leaves after like 45 minutes and when he comes to hug me he looks at me and I wouldnt let go. Well eventually I did

Well that frieday I went to colorguard to see him present the colors for the football game. after he did I ran down the bleechers w/ my friend so I ciould go see him. Well when I finally got down and he came back from the R.O.T.C. room I saw him leave.... with the girl from the dance AMANDA!! They were holding hands so I assume they were datimg blah blah blah I cried got over it the next day and went to the campus clean up. That Sunday I went to church and saw him in the morning bc I went out to eat and he was worknig. WellI acted asd if I didnt know him. That night my mom decides to go get some food from there and he wasstill working. My sister recognized him and she started to tslk to ihm. My mom went up to him gave him my # and told him to call me that night to make me fel better. He did and all he did was ay I like you and I will eventually go out with you but Amanda this and AMANDA that. So I said whatever and sucked it all up. Well later On thursday 06 he asked me out after drill practice. I said yes duh! So everything was great until the friday befor Halloween. We never ever got to pend time alone latly bc my mom and my sis or his mom and his bro were always in his room. Well finally we were alone and my mom calls to pick me up an hr early. H alloween come we go trick or treating w/ my sis and his bro and were mad bc we have to kkep going and cant be alone. Mymom come to pick us all up and we go back to his house. 15 min later my mom takes me home. Then tuesday it started to get weird

Tuesday AMANDA'S great great grandmother died and he went to the funeral he didnt call me at all and was w/ AMANDA and I trust him but not when he doesnt call. So Wedndsay comes and he doesnt call me at all. He told me he went to Karate and then to church and didnt get home till 10. So I belived him. Funny though that AMANDA goes to the same church. Thursday is when it got really bad. He was acting all distant at school and said he was skipping school Friday. Well Thursday we disdnt talk at all after school and he said he was to sick to talk. Friday he doesnt come to school so I call him after. He picks up and I asked him about his day well he went and me up w. AMANDA and a buch of other friends and he said hes in a depression to where he wanted to break up w/ me but didnt. So we hung up I cried blah blah blah. Yesterday I tried to call him but he was at soccer tournaments so no pick up. Well I went to my sisters first soccer game and say 3 of my friends there who saw Dustin earlier. They sad him and AMANDA have been really close latly. So I was so pissed that we left and I drove over to his house to gobreak up w/ him for cheating plus his bro thold me too. Well when I got there AMANDA'S car was there his lights were off so I knocked as hard as I colud he finaly came out and I broke up with him and me and my mom left. I said so much and dont talke anybacck. But what sux is that I love him sooo bad and I just dont know how to get over him. He tried to tell me he wasnt cheating and all and school is tomorrow and I have to sse him and I dont know how Im gonig to hold up whrn i odp see him! So I really want to hear your oppinion and tell me should I trey and listen if he talks to me should I talk to ihm? What sholud I do? What really gets me is she treats him like crap and she breaks up w/ him and he had it soo good w/ me my fam loved hima nd I was always happy and now Isee him like everperiod bc he used to trat me so well and I dont know how to move on so IDK if this is really asknig for advice just more of an opinion on what to do you know . Well I had to tell someone so It would stop bothering me. Thanks to whoever is going to actually reafd this


~*END*~


Bianca

You should give him a 2nd chance and observe him to see if he's cheating. If he is, Dump him. Ask him to hang out with you sometimes. Ask him if you could hang out with him and amanda, and if he sounds uncomfortable, hes probably cheating.
--Caden--

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I know one of my friends is stealing things from my locker because I saw all of my stuff in her backpack. I don't want to tell. What should I do?

Check your locker and see if anythings missing and if there is, you should tell her that you know and ask her for it back nicely. If she sais no, talk to an adult.

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My very very good friends birthday is coming up. We just started being friends a month ago, when I met him & he's super cool. I've been thinking of getting him some presents, will you tell me if you think it's okay: Headphones [for his ipod because his are broken & they sound crappy] & the exorcist [original movie, he really wants to see it.] then i'm going to buy him a card & balloons, and also I wanted to make him a small cake. I'm really tight on money, so i was also wondering do you think he'd be okay w/ just me making him a cake and decorating it all pretty? instead of buying a cake? thanks so much.

It would be even better too make a cake because it tells him that you care enough that youd take time to prepare something for him. Headphones are better, but theyre expensive. The best brand you can get for the cheapist price is koss. Your friend can always rent the exorcist or watch a copy that another friend has.
Hope I helped♥
PS; Comming from your paragraph, i can tell your a very good friend to have:D

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ok sorry its long but... i have a lot of problems and i dont know whats wrong with me. there are just so many things...here are just a few:
1-i cut myself...like really deep to the point where i pass out and wake up with blood all over

2-i pull the ends of my hair on urdge

3-i feel tension and stress about everything bad

4-i over analyze EVERYTHING makeing it scary and bad

5-i think about suicide all the time

6-my mood can change in an instant-one minute ill be all happy and something will happen or someone will say something and ill go all depressed

7-i burn myself on occasion

8-i find it really hard to express my feelings and what imthinking b/c ik that noone will understand...they will try but they just dont get what im going through unless they r goin through it too

9-i am always tired all the time b/c i dont sleep much...i havent in like a week

10-i have lost a lot of weight b/c i refuse to eat and when some one makes me eat i throw it back up

11-at times i will find my self sitting in my room and all of a sudden i will just like start crying and i will cry for hours

12-for the past year i have been trying so hard to make it sound like i am happy and im so good to the point where my parents think that i am a "happy delightful young lady who is fun to be around"



you see? there are so many things wrong with me and like i have tried sooo many different ways to cope with the stress in my life but like nothing that i have tried works! its just realy hard and idk what to do.


ill rate high for good answers...nothing cocky plz


♥ rrenef ♥

OMG you are worrying me. I get tons of stress but I dont self harm my self. You seriosly need outside help. Dont be afraid to cry around people. Talk to a couselor and since you said you find it hard to exprss your feelings, maybe you could draw out what you feel. You should eat, it might make you feel better and give you energy. Get out in the sun and take a walk, walking will give you energy and it will help you sleep better and a chemical from the sun makes you happy. Y'know, if I was an athiest, I would be going through the same thing. When i'm in pain, I turn to god and my prayers were answered. Keep yourself busy, if you dont, you'll always think of things that make you sad.
Good luck:D I hope you will someday be cured of depression.

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Hey Caden! Do you have any ideas on where I could have my 14'th birthday?

I was thinking about Lazor tag, but that's in Illinois and I live in Missouri.

Anyways, I can't have a house party, too cold to do anything outside. I just want somewhere fun and I was thinking of just having like 5-6 people.

Thanks!! ♥ ♥ You're awesome!

You could
--Watch movies
--play spin the bottle
--you could have a murder mystery
--Talent show
--board games
--Music {if you know anyone who plays an instrument, have them bring it over and play it}
--Baloon dart {you could tape baloons to a wall and get some darts to throw at them and whoever pops the most baloons win}

Thats all I can think of.
--caden--

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i am 13/f and i love acting and singing and i really want a career in it! that's like all i want to do... i want to act, sing, model, dance, be a performer! this may sound really stupid... but does anyone know a way to get discovered? this is what i really want to do... and soon! thank you very much!!!

Travel to the big cities and do plays, kareoki, ect. There are some restaraunts that do these things. You could participate in American Idol.
You have to be realy young to participate in that. Who knows, you might be the next Kelly Clarkson! I have faith in you.♥♥

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Hey Caden! It's Teza. Why do you think you're ugly? Don't say that about yourself though. ♥ Byee! =)

I dont know. i just dont like my look. Face it im not no drake bell. But im trying to get there.
Well not neccissarily drake bell, but y'know what i mean.

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I`m moving in a few months, and I`m very scared. I've lived in the same house for all my life, gone to schools right next to each other ( the elm. && middle schools are right next to each other ) progressed through each grade with the same familiar faces all around, and hung out doing nothing with my same group of best friends every weekend. I usually hate change, and I do now too. I love my life exactly the way it is, I find myself crying everynight `cause I don't want to move. I am very fortunate though, I`m moving only about 15 minutes away, but I am going to be at a new school / school district. I have one person I know at this new school, However my current school is so full they are redistricting a few neighborhoods to my new school. So I will know some people. I know yall probably think I`m a greedy wimp for being so sad even when I`ll have some friends, but you don't understand. It's been the same way all my life and I love it, I`m afraid of change, afraid of this move, afraid to leave what I love.

- how do I get over this fear ? How can I make the best of my move? How can I be sure my "friends" now won't forget about me when I move ?

Well you could ask your friends for theire AIM, Phone #, ect so you can keep in touch with them and why dont you invite your friends over to your new house sometimes. When you move you can think of it as a new start. The cool thing about moving to a new district is that you can have a clean slate and nobody will know any rumors about you. Think of your move as an adventure.
If you want to make other friends, talk to the peeps and get to know them better. There is this one girl in my language arts class who moved here from Chicago and shes quite the social butterfly. Usualy you will get used to stuff after a while. I bet you will be one of the most popular people in that school. I wish you the best of luck:D

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Hello everyone!
I was looking in the section "Browse Columnists" of course, to browse columnists! I notice the dark blue stars that made the stars seem all full. But i see people with 8 stars and they have like 1 or 2 of the stars gold? How come? And why do they have soo many stars when the "original" columnists have like 5 or 4 and its all filled with blue stars.

(and by blue stars i mean DARK BLUE..not the light blue but the dark ones that means they got it filled up)

Thank you VERY much if you help me!! ♥

It meens that th person is paying to make an account. people who is paying gets to get a golden star and get to change theire username.
If you pay, you support advicenators.

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okay... so my brother always swears at me and calls me fat and ugly and stuff... and he hits, punches, kicks, etc. me all the time. not enough to leave a bruise or anything (occasionally) but i'm not sure if this is considered abuse? also, my mom (my mom doesn't do it a LOT) and my sister both always tell me i'm stupid, ugly, fat, (same as my brother) but they don't hit me unless they're really mad... do you consider this abuse?

Dear abused

When I was younger, my older bros picked on me. Some of it is natural, but yes i would call it abuse because if theire mad and they hit you, thats using you as a punching bag. And they are your family, theire supposed to comfort you in your bad times and love you and treat you with some respect. Nobody deserves to be abused. The only advice is to treat them with goodness, fight evil with good. Good luck ;]

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I just recently became a columnist and I went to go look at the list of the other columnists. I noticed that most of the others have rating stars next to their name. What are these for? Do I not have them because I'm relatively new?

People with the rating stars have gotten 5 ratings. Thos ratings make ut the average rating.

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im sooo freked out. my best friend is scaring me. he is running away and not telling anyone. i just found out that he has threatened to kill himself. im scared. hes like a brother. i love him to death. if anything happened to him id go crazy. how can i approach him about it? or how can i just stop freaking out? my sister is dating him and she is scared to. pleeze help me. im very worried about him. help!

You should tell the social worker so that he can get help. Talk to him and tell him that if he kills himself, alot of people will be heartbroken and that if its because of a stressful situation that the bad time will pass.
Ask him what the problem is and talk to him about it. I know, you could show him advicenators and he could ask questions and get advice to help with the situation and you could help him too.

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can anyone name a REALLY good pair of headphones?? preferrably not like the earbud type and not too expensive? thanks in advance♥

I got a realy good pair of headphones by koss. I have 2 pairs actualy. One of them Included a pair of earbuds and the big kind that cost $20.
Hope I helped%hearts;

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My friend played a joke on me and I know she was kidding..but I took it too seriously.I yelled at her in class..and then she was trying to talk to me after school but I ignored her and got in my car..I feel so horrible but I'm still mad..What should I do?

Do some things to get the anger out like yelling at your house or pounding your pillows then , the next day, call her up and ask her why she played that joke and if she apologizes then tell her that you feel bad about ignoring her and that you forgive her {if you do}.

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In the 5th grade, I called my friend a biotch because she was being one. The problem was I didn't really know what a biotch was. Then she told her mom and her mom got mad. Now I am going tricker treating with her tonite and she said that her mom was not mad at me anymore. But I am still nervous! What do I do? Should I tell her mom it was all a mistake or should I wait for her mom to bring it up?if she does talk about it, what do I say??? please help me~!!!

i will give a 5 to anyone who trys to answer this 1!!



~m

Just tell her your sorry and that'll make you feel better. Just tell her you were angry and that you didnt know what a you know what was.

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ok well I have this boyfriend and we've been together for a long time and i truly love him and all but lately i've been thikning and i've gotten really confused because i care so much for him but i keep thinking that i can't make him as happy as i could be making him and that there's so much that i'm doing wrong. also i've been having alot of doubts i mean i keep thinking of dumping him not for the sake of me but for him. it upsets me because i'm confused about my feelings for him. it upsets me that i'm even getting thoughts like this. he is the most important thing in my life and i don't want to lose him and i love him but i just don't "feel" it anymore. i'm just not as interested in him but typing this makes me cry and it's really complicating things for me and i know it shows, and that's why my boyfriend has been asking if i'm happy with this relationship lately. i love him i do but i don't know if i'm in love with him anymore like it's not interesting or if i'm moving on though i don't want to.
P.S if it helps any i have to take meds for depression.

please help i don't want to make a mistake..

Just ask him if he could cut back on the romance and just be friends for a while. And about the doubts, if you couldn't make you happy, why would he be with you in the first place? Most men care about the girl and dont realy care about the bad things. You are going through a syndrom where you love him so much you are making exuses to dump him. what your really afraid of is him dumping you. If things are good dont invent things to screw it up relationships are hard enough. Take life as it is and enjoy. you seem to be causing some of this depression. Being a girl, depression is a cycle we have right before our menstral cycles mark when yours hit on a calender for a couple of months. It passes.
and things are good again for a while. Learn to reconize it so the next time you can deal with it untill it passes. You have to push yourself to deal with it. Stay busy clean your room, drawers, go for a walk or run make sure you eat healthy this does make a huge difference. Salads, fruit, high fiber breads, and healthy protiens, yogarts. No coke or diet coke, hamburgers that are fast food or fries.
I wish you the best of luck:D.

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okay, what should I do...I really like this girl and she says she likes me also but she has a boyfriend. We hang out quite and lot and have the best time because we are practically best friends. I want to stop liking her but I know the only way to do that is to stop talkin to her because if I do that makes me only liek her more. I tried doing this already but she got really upset and really sad and said it hurt her most out of anything, knowing she was loosing me...I dont know what to do...because we are such close friends and I really do love her

Just go with the flow. If she realy loves you, she might dump his B/F. Just get to know her and talk to her and someday you can tell her. And if things go bad, just dont think about her. If you keep busy, You'll keep your mind on other things.
I wish you best of luck :-D

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I'll try and condense this. There's been this guy who I've been chatting to online for years (nearly 3) and we are really, really close and truly do love each other. We are planning to meet soon as well.

But here's my dilemma. He was going on today about some girl who he is really worried about because a guy has been pestering her. He was asking me what to do about it and kept going on about how he thought the guy was objectifying her and she deserved someone great. I finally asked him whether he liked her and he confessed he does have a bit of a thing for her. This is not the first time this has happened either - 6 months ago he liked another girl and it started lots of problems for us. Then he thought he was just confused and it wasn't really a crush at all.

I can't help but think that he would drop me in a heartbeat if a girl liked him back in real life. The other girl he liked told him she didn't like him, and this one doesn't seem to either. I feel somehow I'm just there as a backup. Do you guys think I'm being paranoid? I know we aren't together and I'm really not usually so defensive - I encourage him to have female friends! But I feel really torn up inside over the fact that he likes this girl when he tells me every night that he loves ME. I understand that guys are always going to be attracted to girls even with they are with someone else, but it's really depressing me and I don't know what to do. Should I say something to him? Am I justified in feeling this way? Is it alright for him to do this?

Thanks a lot for your help.

It may not be love. I have a crush on a girl and i often think about other girls too. Its normal for boys to do this. Usualy this happens when he feels sorry for a girl or when something reminds him of a girl that he knows. If your still not sure, Try asking him why he is interested in that girl. If he says something like "her beautiful_____" then hes probably in love. Its okay to be upset over this. If my gf started talking about other guys i would be worried too. Good luck ;-)

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i have been having a really hard time understanding my bf right now. first off i barely have talk to him all week. we are in a long distance realtionship so i barely get to see him. on friday he was supposed to meet up with me and go to the haunted house and then his place to meet his mom but it never happened. he said he got in trouble because of last time adn he couldnt leave the house. i understood and said it was cool but yesterday when i called his mom said he wasnt home. today i talked to him for 5 minutes. he told me he was out in downtown were i live but he wouldnt tell me were or who he was with. all he told me was that he didnt come home until 3 a.m. then he had the nerve to tell me about a girl that was bendin over infront of him wearin a short maid costum. (someoen tell me why you would tell ur gf that?) but for the best couple days since i havent talked to him he has been askin me if i still want to be with him and if i trust him. i trust him and all but i think he takin advantage of me. everytime i try tellin him how i feel it always ends up him tellin me about some bitch and get annoying. what should i do? o yea tomorrow my best friend invited him to her house becaus ei am goin to go but he isnt goin (his excuse i dont want the bus take me the wrong place and he always rides the busy and he knows were he is going) can someone please tell me what is up? and help me.
p.s
i am a 14/f and he is a 16/m

Well thats stupid of him. He asked you if you trust him because he would probably quit telling you about all those girls if you didnt. This can mean only one thing, Hes cheating and doesent want you to know. Ive heard that long distance relationships dont work out and now i know it.
If I were in your shoes, I would dump his sorry butt. he is probably making up excuses so he can have sex with another girl! He wasted his relationship with someone his future could be with. This guy sounds like a total *ss >:-[

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ok there is this guy. i talk to him on the phone every night. i really like him and i know he likes me too cause he said it to me on the phone yesterday. i had a secret i wanted to tell him which was that i liked him. he was trying to get the secret out of me for days. and everytime he would always say "you only have one life to live, so live it to the best," cause he didnt want me to be afraid of telling him the secret. so i told him and hes like, "well i like you too...where do we go from here?" and i said i dont know and there was silence for about 4 seconds lol. then he kinda chnaged the subject and after a while his mom was yelling at him to get off so we had to hang up. i can't help thinking about that "one life to live" thing though. should i ask him out? the only problem is that he isn't really allowd to talk to girls. he told me that if his mom answered then to pretend that he had the wrong number or just pretend to be a guy lol. but if his dad answered then it was ok. so i dont really know what to do. does this mean he won't ask me out? i really really really like him and i really want to go out on a date with him. what do you think, should i ask him out or wait until he asks me?

My opinion is you should have him ask. the following paragraph tells you why.

You should get to know him better and be friends with him and maybe flirt a little and someday hell ask you out and if you work up the nerve to ask him out and you two are madly in love and he's not allowed to date and you both realy want to date and you decide to do it in secret, you can overcome any obsticals if its meant to be. you should wait for him because, this may sound crazy, but its normal for a man to ask if you would join him in any romantic occasions. He may not ask anytime soon because he may worry that you arent allowed to date until your sixteenish.

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