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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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I am a 13 year old girl, and I think that I'm depressed. I have a very loving family, although my brother and I don't always get along. I am in middle school. I believe that I started getting depressed about midway through 6th grade. My school is an arts school, so you can express yourself. But, I just don't find any joy in life. My symptoms: I am sluggish and tired a lot, I am not confident with my body, things that I used to enjoy I don't now, I sleep a lot, I can't find joy in life, and I believe I cause problems for people. I do smile and laugh often, but when I think about it, the moments are just dull. Does anybody know what I should do?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
You could be suffering from teenage depression. Some of the things you said that are bothering you are indicators of depression, they are also part of the effects of puberty. Puberty is also part of the cause of teenage depression. Do not be overly concerned about the label, there is help and once treated you will outgrow the problem as you and your body mature. Until then you need to get some medical help with the problem.
This is a medical problem and not a phase you are going through as so many parents think. The first thing you need to do is have a complete physical by your family doctor to rule out any physical problems that may be causing you to feel as you do. This is a great time to get a physical as you should be returning to school. While you are with the doctor you can tell the doctor how you feel and ask to be screened for depression.
Teenage Depression is caused by the body not making enough of a particular hormone that helps us keep our moods in balance. There are pills that we can take replace the hormone or augment what the body is not supplying. Most family doctors will not treat depression; they will refer you to a psychiatrist who is better qualified to prescribe and treat depression. No you are not crazy; the hormones that need to augment work in the brain therefore they are better treated by a psychiatrist. You may also be referred to a clinical therapist for talk therapy to help you identify the triggers of depression. I noticed on that you wrote about, “I am not confident in my body”.
You can feel better about yourself with the help of the right type of therapy and possibly some medication. It all starts with a trip to the family doctor. Ask mom or dad to arrange and appointment, and then speak to your doctor about what is bothering you.
alright i am a 16 year old girl turning 17 next month going into my senior year, i feel like everyone in my grade has had sex, i feel a lot of girls feel so nonchalant about it all. I have had a boyfriend and i personally don't think i am ugly, i have never had sex before and i haven't met the right guy i feel i could do that with but i feel kind of insecure i feel that i should of had sex already considering im almost going to college i feel kind of like a loser i don't know i just wanna hear your thoughts on this & what i should do? please no hateful comments :)
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I found the following website while answering a very similar question for other young ladies. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”
On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. At your age sex for you as a woman is different than fore the boy. At 16 you are more emotionally mature than a partner would at the same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman most always have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.
The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent I should be telling you to wait. I am sure your parents have already given you that advice and it is good advice. It is also hypocritical of most of us as most all of us my age and younger engaged in sex long before we were married. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is generally apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. These forms of sex should be adequate for now to satisfy both you and your boyfriend without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
Before you make your decision please review the following website.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.
lets go with me and my boyfriend have been having sex im on birth control and when i started going on birth control me and him started not using condoms and i dont really like using them. well the other night he was like i wanna try a condom with lube ok lets try then again last night he used a condom and i was just thinking why again? so i was like um no were not using those i dont like them and hes like really and i go yah. then no b.c i didnt want him to get mad. now all i was thinking hes having sex with someone else wtf! and i felt like if i asked him that hed filp b.c it might or most likely not true. so basically the mood was torn and he got mad b.c i left him hanging and now its weird. and i was like if your going to change the way we have sex you should tell me why and he said it hurt last time with out one then i dont want babies and w.e so your telling me three diff reasons and i was like your not the only one having sex with me here so i think i should know why and he like ignored me on that question. so i dont know what to do.
and just a reminder im well old enough to be having sex and me not using condoms is none of your business so i dont like to hear that i should be using them i know all i need to know, ive had one partner so has he.
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
Of the three answers already given you rated the best answer the lowest. It is an unfortunate fact that having sex today means you have to protect yourself not only from unwanted pregnancy but from all the partners you and your current partner have had sex with. At least until you and your partner have had multiple blood tests and you are both sure of you are an exclusive couple.
My only interest at this time is you, you are the one writing. I do not know you or your boyfriend other than what you have written. You say you �are well old enough to have sex and not using a condom is none of your business�. I am not sure about the last part. I know using condoms can be a problem from having to stop what you are doing to put it on to the change in feeling when using one. What I wonder about is if you would change your mind about condom usage if you spent a day or two with a health department worker tracking down the partners of someone who has just been diagnosed with an STD.
You start with the most recent partners and work backwards to the two previous partners of the first two partners then to those two partners and so on and so on until you find the person that first infected one of them. When you look at the visual chain of all the people the two people at the top of the chain have had unwittingly had sex with you begin to wonder about why people are so reluctant to use condoms?
There is no sign on your partner that says he or she is a STD carrier. You can inspect your partner�s sex penis and not see any evidence of an STD. You can scrub him, disinfect him and still be infected. You are in effect not only endangering yourself but your future partners as well by having unprotected sex.
There are many different types of condoms on the market today. There are ribbed one, latex ones, lambskin ones, lubes, non-lubed and a variety of others. I am sure if you search through what is out there you will find a condom that offers you the protection you should have and the enjoyment you want. The only feeling a condom will rob you of is the feeling of your partner�s sperm hitting the walls of your vagina. If this is the feeling you cannot have sex without then I do not know what to tell you other than you are playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun.
I know this is not what you wanted to hear and you may rate this as low as you want. The grandfather in me had to say this. Sex is a beautiful thing and it should not be spoiled by being reckless. I hope you will give what I have written as well as re think what bliz has written as we have given you the best advice we have to offer.
Response:
First; you added the information about you and your boyfriend only have sex with each other after I answered you so I was not aware of this when I answered you.
Second; you state in the main portion of your letter that you felt, “now all I was thinking hes having sex with someone else wtf!” If you are having these thoughts then this alone is a good enough reason to protect yourself.
I am not saying your boyfriend did or did not sleep with someone else. I am willing for the moment to give him the benefit of the doubt and accept his excuse that the last sex you two had was painful for him and he wanted to try a lubricated condom. His excuse is a little thin but reasonable when looked at from the point of view that sex is for the enjoyment of both partners. If one partner is not getting the full enjoyment from your sexual activity then you need to discuss it and find a way for both partners to find fulfillment and enjoyment. In this particular case a little K-Y Jelly would have accomplished what the lubricated condom was going to do.
Sex is a beautiful and wonderful thing which should be enjoyed by both partners. When I was your age we had STD’s to worry about but none were as life threatening as AID’s. Condoms may dull your enjoyment somewhat but for now they are the only means of protecting us from AID’s and other STD’s. I have spent the greater part of my life looking out for the well being of others which is what I am trying to do here. Yes, your birth control is working; condoms as primary form of birth control is not an as effective as the pill or IUD.
Is your present boyfriend going to be the only boy you ever sleep with? If not how about the next boy you sleep with? How many girls will he have slept with before sleeping with you? How many boys will they have slept with before sleeping with him? Practicing safe sex now prepares you for future partners later in life. Question; do you wear a seatbelt when driving or riding in a car? Most of us do. Using a condom today will someday save your life, just as someday a seatbelt will save your life.
You can ignore what I have written or you can take it to heart. I do not know you, I haven’t known any of the teenagers I have had to pull out of wrecked vehicles and put in body bags because they were not wearing seatbelts. I say this so hopefully I or someone like me will not have to take you to the hospital when you are suffering from AIDS. Am I trying to scare you, yes I am; just like I do when I lecture students about drinking and driving and wearing seatbelts. I am trying to save lives and if that life is yours than that’s great and I have accomplished what I set out to do.
16/f
hi. im a junior in high school and i really want to figure out what i want to do with my life. i get about b average in my classes. well im not super smart like a lot of lawyers are but i believe i would make a good lawyer. the thing is is that i dont know what kind of law is out there and how many years i would have to go to college. i also would like to know how much money i would be making. im want to stay away from busniess lawyer or patent lawyer, i was thinking about general lawyer, and lawyers helping people with cases like judge judy cases. examples :helping someone sue an ex due to unpaid car insurance, sueing a company for emply discrimination. . . something like that. i know this is kind of weird, but im in a law class now and i like it. im not sure what else to do. please help. thanks.
I’m going to let the grandfather in me speak out for a bit. The practice of Law is a well respected profession with many different facets to practice with in. You are looking at four years of under graduate school and three years of Law School. You then have to pass the Bar Association Test in the states you wish to practice in.
In the different areas of the law there are practices that your income will be higher than in others. Lawyers who have a General Practice, which is the type of practice you are speaking of generally, make a comfortable living. Just how much you will earn really depends on your practice as even in General Practices there are lawyers who specialize in certain areas or who excel in certain areas, such as personal liability law.
What is important, this is the grandfather speaking, is that you enjoy what you are doing. If you do not enjoy what you are doing you can make tons of money and still not be happy. I have a friend who has a law degree and a cousin who has a law degree. My cousin specializes in real estate law, is a senior partner who they refer to as the rain maker in a very prestige’s Washington DC Law Firm. My friend on the other hand has a law degree but has never practiced law preferring instead to build homes. Both are well respected in their professions. Both are capable of doing the others chosen profession. They both would do well in the other profession and earn a good living. The problem is neither would be happy. Both they and their families would suffer needlessly because of this.
I am sure you have heard the expression; “money does not buy happiness”. No truer expression has been ever written. If you want to practice law, practice law for the love of the law, not because you want or think you can earn tons of money.
I was a salesman for over 30 years, was very successful at it and made a very nice living. I was successful because I loved selling. I have the ability to do other things some of which paid more but I was not happy doing them. I found a job selling and excelled at it, competitor companies recruited me to work for them. I worked my way from no names companies to the premier company in the industry I chose to work in. This is what working is all about. Doing something you love and supporting your family while doing so.
For the past two years I have been having a sharp pain in my right shoulder. I have been to many doctors and nobody can diagnose it let alone find a way to fix it. I am in constant pain despite the surgery I have already had. I am going to be having another surgery very soon and I'm so scared. I'm only 15 and I'm being told I might need a joint replacement or I might have to live with this pain for the rest of my life. As if this isn't bad enough, I'm deathly afraid of hospitals and needles, something I've been having to deal with a lot. Any advice on how to deal with my injury and fears?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I cannot tell you how to overcome your fear of surgery, but I do have two suggestions for you. The first is to ask the hospital or surgical center if they have a psychologist who you can speak to that can work with you to overcome this fear. Most hospitals and surgical centers do have people on staff to help patients relax before surgery. A patient who is relaxed and in a sense looking forward to their surgery have better outcomes and heal faster than those who go into surgery all tensed and fearful.
My second suggestion has more to do with your pain than with surgery. I too suffer from chronic pain as a result of an auto accident. There is not a surgical correction for my problem and I have been placed in the care of a pain management physician. These physicians are anesthesiologists who of course specialize in pain. My treatment involves drug therapy, mostly non-narcotic, some shots directly into the area of pain and just recently acupuncture. Now as for the shots, you mention you do not like needles well neither do I but I do not like the level of pain I am in either. Before the take me in to the surgical room, they use a fluoroscope to place the needle where the medication needs to go, they give me an IV; after they prep me and they are ready to go the nurse gives me some medication through the IV and I get very sleepy and usually fall asleep. Even if I do not fall asleep I feel almost nothing and remember very little of the procedure and leave the center about 20 to 30 minutes after the procedure to give IV medication time to wear off. As for the acupuncture I have not felt one needle. Ask your doctors about pain management instead of more surgery.
my dad gave me this thing as a keychain, and it has a light on one side, and a little spikey thing on the other, and he said that the spikey thing is for breaking a window underwater if you ever need it. like if you drive your car into water or something. the thing is actually really tiny..but could it really work? how hard would you have to hit the window with it? the tip looks like this...
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31Zvt8bilEL.jpg
but alot tinier. i'm just worried that i might need it someday and it wont work.
Yes this item does work or can work. THose of us on Fire Department Rescue Squads carry a spring loaded version in the pocets of our turnouts tobreak car window with. We use them when we need to cut people out of cars that have been in traffic accidents. First we breakout all the glass then the Jaws of Life are used to get to the victims.
Your dad has the right idea here. Keep it handy in the glove box or conol. If it is not a spring loaded one put something with it to strike it with.
Am wanting to find the best and painless way of commiting suicide.
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
If you are feeling suicidal at this time call 911 NOW or go to the nearest hospital Emergency Room for help.
Suicide is not the answer to your problem(s). If you have not already done so I would like you to call the National Suicide hot line. There number is: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They operate 24/7 and are totally free and confidential. They have a network of crisis center around the country they can refer you to for help, probably one right in your home town or close to you. The call takers are trained professionals who are volunteers and are there to help you; so please give them a call, they can and will help you through this.
You do not say what is bothering you to cause you to think of suicide. Whatever it is it CAN BE RECTIFIED or mitigated that I am certain of. Please call the hotline or go to the hospital for help. I know there are people who love you and would miss you if you were to do this.
I am a fifteen-year-old student. Just a small-town girl. Living in a loooonely world~ XD Just kidding. I have an amazing boyfriend; we've been together for a solid ten months, and I know I love him with all my heart.
But I've started asking myself a lot of questions lately. It all started at a summer boarding program, in which I was a part of the Theater program. It was basically me locked in a room with fifteen other unique, creative people. This was the first point in which I really noticed a change.
We were playing Truth or Dare. After having so many stereotypical dares (kiss this guy, hump that pole :P :P), everyone just decided to start kissing everybody. I, not really awkwarded out, joined in, making sure to avoid the guys because I knew my boyfriend would be bothered about it.
When I got back to my room, started to think about it, and realized that I had actually enjoyed that night. Later on in the week, at the big dance, I even danced pretty intensly with one of the girls; there were sparks flying everywhere.
A few days later, back at home, I really started flashing back on my life. I finally understood for the first time that I had been pretty attracted to girls for a while, especially my best friend. Also, soon after the whole kissing incident, I found out that one of my idols that I had met a while ago had kissed a bunch of people I know. I had no idea that she swung that way; honestly, it made me suddenly want to get to know her even more.
Since then, it's been growing. I am really magnetized to certain girls, but still am so confused. I've always been a hard-working Catholic, but I find I'm unable to block these strong feelings I get every time certain people are near me.
So my main question is...am I bisexual? And if I am, how do I deal with it?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
At your present age I would be hesitant to place a label on your sexuality. At this age both boys and girls are still trying to figure out their sexuality. To label yourself as a Lesbian or even bi-curious would not only be wrong but self defeating at this time. To even put this in the category of a phase that most young people go through would not be right either.
There are a number of reasons for sexual attraction to someone of our own sex at this age. First and foremost is the fact it is safer and easier to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the changing hormones your body is producing. Parents think nothing of two children of the same sex being behind closed doors, sleeping together, even in the same bed, particularly females.
I have known women that have been bi all through college, then gone straight heterosexual afterwards. Reason it was easier and sex was more available if you were bi; it was also safer.
My advice: Don’t put a label on your sexuality at this time. Just enjoy learning about who you are sexually. When you are more adult if you still want to put a label on your sexuality then do so, but for now just enjoy being you.
Hello,
I have been married for 2 years. My husband seems to feel the need to have female friends. One female friend he has known a very long time and they are like brother/sister.I am actually fine w/their friendship. Today I want out of town and he told me she was going to spend the night at our place as she lives far away. I told him I felt very uncomfortable w/any female spending the night while I am not there. So now he is mad at me,does not see my point and thinks I am wrong for my views on this.
I do have an issue w/his other female friend. They worked together for 1 year and have seemed to develop a very close friendship. I found out that he was holding money for her, they would have lunch at work together. There were rumors of them having an affair. I told him there friendship was way too close but again, he does not see anything wrong w/it.
I don't know what to do and how to make him see my side. We all know if the tables were turned he would feel the same way!
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I have been married for almost 40 years. When we first married my wife said to me, “you can look at the menu all you want, you just cannot reorder”.
My wife knows I am a people person I like to interact with all types of people of various interests; it fun, entertaining and a learning experience. My wife’s words to me mean that I can sit at the table but sampling is not allowed. Having friends of the opposite sex even in marriage is not a precursor to cheating. They are and just maybe two people who have shared the same experiences that you and your husband have not shared and are able to support each other through some thick and thin times.
Your stress over someone you do not know spending the night when you are not home is well founded. Your husband would be just as upset and equally well founded if the situation was reversed. Both of you may have the best of intentions in inviting a guest to spend the night. The unknown variable is the intentions of the guest.
The bigger issue here is one of trust. You are okay with the one female friend but not with the other. If your husband is aware of your discomfort with the one female friend he could do more to ease your feelings. You could also have more trust that your husband loves you and is not cheating on you; that this friend is just someone he shares and interest with that cannot be adequately shared with you.
The issue of trust is going to be wedge between you and your husband and could ruin your marriage if you do not address it properly. I suggest you and your husband jointly and separately seek out a qualified marriage counselor to address this issue.
I'm a chick that feels like I was placed in the wrong body (I'm 15). At school it bothers me when I'm called by my real name and gender, but I don't know what to tell people because it would most likely be awkward for them (I'm also the quiet one). It obvious because of how I dress and act. I just don't know what to do. What should I do in this situation?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Let me start by saying you are not alone in your feelings; there are many men and women, boys and girls who fell as you do. The problem you face is I believe called gender identity disorder and is something you need professional help to come to terms with and when you are older you might want to consider gender reassignment surgery.
The immediate situation is your wanting to be addressed as a male by friends and faculty. As far as the faculty is concerned without a doctor’s orders to do so they are going to address you as you are registered to attend school. You may convince one or two teachers to address you as you would like to be addressed but as a rule they will not indulge you as what they may see as a fantasy. Even the younger more enlightened teacher will most likely follow the rules rather than risk their jobs by indulging in your request. You could talk to your Guidance Counselor about this but not all guidance counselors are trained psychologists who are better able to understand and counsel you.
Now as to having you friends call you and see you as a male: Teenagers can be very fickle; your closest friends may do so without understanding fully why this is important to you. Your other friends and people in school who really do not know you are going to make your life miserable. Why? Simply because they do not understand and what we do not understand scares them therefore they will try to scare you off by teasing you or even trying to hurt you. Rather than trying to get them to accept you as you want you can dress as you please. You can wear men’s pants and shirts. You can cut your hair short you can even shave your head if you want. The other kids in school may not like it but they will accept it. This is called a compromise; in this case one that allows you to feel better about yourself without endangering yourself.
http://www.webmd.com/sex/gender-identity-disorder. This website will help you find out more about gender identity disorder. I suggest you read through it and the associated information then if you have not already done so you need to sit down and talk with your parents. Yes, you are different than others but you are not weird or sick or anything else that people might think. The counseling and treatments suggested are not being suggested to help you overcome how you feel but to help you deal with your feelings and some of the other things you can have happen to you like depression while you work to find the direction and how you wish to live your life.
The hardest part about telling your parents is convincing them this is just not a phase you are going through as your body adapts to the hormonal and physical changes you are undergoing. Do the research, read the article I have supplied and others, make a list of these things you can identify with and point out to your parents. Then sit down with your parents and talk to them and ask them for their help.
so pretty much every day for the past two years or so i inhale nailpolish remover...
i press the opening of the bottle to one nostrle and hold the other nostrel shut and inhale threw my nose until it burns.. i dont know why but i love it... even when im at my friends house ill look for a bottle in their bathroom and sniff it up for a good ten minutes.. is this a problem???
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Quick answers:
Yes, it's a problem.
Yes, you need to get help.
Yes, it is damaging you.
Yes, it has become an addiction.
Huffing as it is called is an addiction for which you will need professional counseling to overcome. Whether you will need to go to an addiction center for 30 day in-patient rehab or can be treated on an intensive outpatient basis will be determined by your doctors once they have evaluated you.
You have taken the first step, which is the biggest and hardest step by realizing you may have a problem. The next step is to tell your parents. If you are fearful of telling them yourself then ask your doctor to tell them. This is the perfect time to visit your doctor as school is starting shortly. Ask mom or dad to make a doctor’s appointment and to go with you. After you have seen and told the doctor of your problem the doctor then can inform you parent of the problem and the best way to treat you.
I do not know you but I will tell you this; I am proud of you for recognizing you have a problem. Now follow through and get treatment for your addiction.
I'm a fifteen year old girl and lately I've felt like I'm not good enough for my parents. They always concentrate on my weaknesses and not my strengths. Even the smallest things get me in trouble but when I try to talk to my parents about how I'm feeling, they shut me out. Even on good days I'll get ignored when I talk or they'll roll their eyes at me and say I'm just trying to be dramatic and get attention. When I get mad I start yelling and then I get in more trouble and my parents REALLY won't listen to me. They're hypocritical and judgmental and I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't really talk to them even though I'd love to be able to tell them how I feel and be able to talk out our problems. They just shut me out when I try to work with them so we can fix our relationships. What should I do?
To a certain extent you sound like you have typical teenage parent/teen problems. There are some other factors that may be at work here that you are not aware of that are upsetting your parents, factors that have nothing to do with you yet the fallout from them is falling all over you. It is time to take inventory of things to figure out what if anything or anyone has changed.
You say “lately” which to me means within the last week or months time. Find some place quiet and private; sit down with pen and paper and try and find just when things changed. Then try to identify what changed and who changed. Be honest here especially with yourself; did you change, did you put demands upon your parents that they would like to meet but cannot. A demand does not have to mean you said “get me this or else”. You could have simple said something to the effect; “Mom schools starting soon and I need a whole new wardrobe”. That is really not a demand per-say but it is something you may really need and something that is just not affordable right now. I use this as an example as it is somewhat reasonable as something that might have been said given as close as we are to school opening.
Once you believe you have found the when and what of the problem you have come to be experiencing you can then think about how to approach either helping with whatever is the problem that is alienating you at the moment or fixing what may be seen as a demand you made of them.
The problem you see is not always the problem that it is; you see only the result of the problem not always the cause. You have two choices when faced with a problem. You can run and hide from it or you can face the problem head on and figure out what the problem really is and how to deal with it. The second choice is the more adult choice. Even if you are wrong in your assumptions; as a parent I have to say I would be very proud of you for doing your best to try and find the real problem and then finding away to help solve the problem.
Just for the record: I am old enough to be your grandfather.
so i have a problem with eating out! i do it way too much and i know its burning out my pockets! so i have to stop. im going to go shopping this saturday before my college starts and i was wondering if i could get some help on what to buy. my schedule is wake up monday and wednesday, hit the gym, class at 930 till 1045. break. class again ay 1230 till 220. work at 330 til midnight. i have my lunch at 930. tuesday, thursday and friday i only have work at 330 til midnight. so i want to start eating healthy as well. if you could give me a list out of grocerys and maybe some healthy snacks i can have at work because ive been munching on candy bars, thatd be great! Thanks a bunches!!!
It would be helpful if I knew if you were living at home or in a dorm room. I am going to assume for the sake of this question that you are in a dorm and that you have a small combination/frig and freezer and a microwave oven. As a volunteer firefighter I have to advise against cooking on a hot plate or portable gas range in a dorm room.
Hopefully somewhere near campus there is a big box store such as a Super Wal-Mart, Target, Costco or something of this type; buying in bulk does saves money. If you want healthy choices you need to read labels. Just because it says healthy choice does not mean it is the right choice. Check to see how many calories per serving, sodium (salt) level, and fat content so on and so forth.
There are a number of fine products in the frozen food aisle from companies such as healthy choice, Lean cuisine and others that you should be able to find a variety of meal choices for breakfast, lunch and dinner and snacks including Pizza for one. Peanut Butter and Jelly is always a good staple is high on nutrition. Energy drinks can be as bad as soda as they contain high fructose levels; fructose is just another form of sugar. Check the labels on flavored water as they can contain fructose. Look for juices that are natural and unsweetened.
Eating healthy is more work than one might expect. Even shopping in a health food store requires reading labels as some of the nutritional content may be higher than you might expect or want. As for snacks the same thing holds true here as well. Plain yogurt is very healthy but does not taste all that good. When they start adding things to make it taste better the calorie count goes up. So when you go down the snack aisle and grab that box of granola bars with nuts and honey; check the nutrition label against the box of plain granola bars.
One suggestion; you might check with the heath service department at school. They should have a guide to healthy dorm living. This could help you with not only shopping but other parts of dorm life.
I have diarrhea and i don't know what should i eat except for mashed potatoes and rice and bananas. thank you for helping
Peeps gave you some good advice; I would suggest you follow it. I would add to it that if the diarrhea goes on for more than a day or two that you call your family doctor. Sometimes diarrhea is caused by a virus or an infection that may require an antibiotic to help you through it.
Generally a liquid diet of soups such as chicken soup or any clear soup is good. Stay away from soups that are high in acid such as Tomato soup. Drink hot tea rather than coffee. The things you named plus toast and butter, cracker and just about anything that will soak up the sour acid that might be causing diarrhea.
You might also want to try some of the over the counter anti-diarrhea medications. You could speak with the pharmacist to see what they might recommend.
I dont know what to do, my brother doesnt listen to me or my mom. He says that hes not doing anything, but my family knows he is. He brings drugs in and out of the house at night. MY nephew found a bag of weed in the kitchen one day, my brother also lets my cousin come into his room and count drug money. My brother hangs out with this big gang of bad people. They have guns, do drugs and sell them, one of his friends even raped a girl. Im scared that my brother might get killed one day because he hangs out with them and drives around with them. My brothers three friends got killed in a car, the car was shot up. The same person that killed these 3 people, The guy hasnt been caught. but people are saying they know he killed those people. shot my other cousin in the foot, while he was actually trying to kill my cousin. My other cousin just got out of a jail and when he first got out he acted good, now hes back in thesame neighborhood, hanging with the same people that got him locked up, he was hiding a couple of days ago from the guy that shot him in the foot a year ago ( the same guy that killed those 3 people). My cousin lives with my grandma, hes 18 and he just wants to live a bad life. Im scared he might get killed by that guy, or someone will shoot my brother when hes with his friends. My brother wont listen to my mom, hes 21 yrs old and has no job and hes dealing drugs, my cousin is doing the same thing my brother is. I even heard my cousin and his friends beat up someone so bad that the guy he beat up is on life support and the police are looking for them. They think because they are grown no one can tell them what to do, but they still live at home. MY grandma is scared someone will come to our house one day and shoot up our house because of our brother. The police our calling my house the heroine house and they said they are watching our house.Im scared one day they will raid our house and my mom gets into trouble for what my borther is doing. My mom does not do drugs. MY cousin sells and they wont listen. They might get killed or get us into trouble, but my mom doesnt wanna kick him out. She keeps telling my brother she wants him to leave, but he wont. He even got into a fight with my dad and my dad told him to get out, but he said he wasnt going anywhere. How do I get them to listen to me, my grandma or my mom?
I cannot remember seeing a more serious post then this one in the time I have been an advisor on this site.
familyfirst has some good ideas and if your brother and cousin were younger and not so imbedded in the druggie life style I would support giving it a try. My feeling after reading your letter is that you, your mother and grandmother are in imminent danger; life threatening danger. The police, as you wrote, already refer to your home as the heroin house. Your brother has already been involved in what can be termed as attempted murder with the person who is now on life support. Your cousins and brother could be charged with what is called accessories to murder for their knowledge of the other crime you wrote of, as well as the rape.
The police are most likely waiting until they have enough evidence or feel they cannot gain anymore evidence by allowing your brother and or your cousins to remain at large. When this happens they will most likely raid your homes so as to gather the last of the needed evidence. During these raids innocence as well as the perpetrators have been shot and killed. Is this what you want?
My suggestion is: Go to the police, invite them into your homes. Tell them you want the drugs and guns out of your homes as well as your brother and cousins. Yes, you will be sending them to prison but their chances of survival are far greater in prison than out on the street. You also will retain you homes and your lives. You also gain the opportunity to help you brother and cousins to rehabilitate them while in prison and become law abiding citizens when they get out of prison.
The choice you have to make is one of your survival first over the survival of you brother and cousins. It is not an easy choice; I wish I could say it is the best choice. In this case I see it as the only choice. They have chosen the life they wish to lead; you need not be dragged down by them.
Ok iv got this problem where my back and neck will get stiff and soar like a sharp pain and the only way to make the stiffness to go away is to pop my neck and back but I constantly have to do this several times a day my question is does anybody know what my problem is is there a doctor in the house???
I agree with PEEPS; you need to have an MRI or CAT scan done. You should schedule an appointment with a good Neuro-Surgon or Orthopedist to have your back fully checked out.
If you do not know of any ot these type doctors and would like a referal I would suggest you call the referal line at the neares level1 Trauma Hospital. The Doctors at these Hospitals are the best in your area. After making the rounds of local doctors with no help I finaly called my local Trauma hospital. It took one visit to get a diagnosis and treatment plan.
Your back can be your greatest source of pain when you get older so get it checkout know when corrective procedures can be done.
Hi.
I live with my boyfriend, and his mom. His sister had her son about a year ago, and we have a problem. He is all in all a good, healthy little boy who loves to have fun, but he also loves being picked up. If you hold him, and you try to put him down, he cries. If you put him in his play pen and leave him there, he screams at the top of his lungs.
It's been becoming a problem because he's almost 1 (he'll be 1 in like, a week) and he's bigger than most babies his age, and he's a lot heavier than them. It's difficult to carry him for long periods of time, and since my boyfriend's mom watches him while his mom is at work, she's become very exhausted. I would help out, but my boyfriend and I work a lot so we're not always home, and by time we do get home, we're worn out.
How can we wean the baby off of wanting to be carried? I love him, and hate seeing him cry, as does everyone else, but he's becoming too spoiled and too dependent on it and we're all very exhausted. I know we're very much at fault, but we're at our wits end. Any ideas?
Thank you!
Babies learn early that if they cry someone is going to do something to get them to stop crying. As they get older they use this to get whatever it is they want. Babies are too young to rationalize with and the constant crying causes the parents and other adults to give into the child rather than listen to him/her scream. This crying is the precursor to the terrible two and three year old temper tantrums to come.
As hard as this is to hear and do you have to teach the child that they do not run the house, they cannot always get their way and it is never too early to punish with a time out. When a child cries you check to make sure they are safe, do not need a diaper change and that they are not sick or it is close to feeding time. If none of the preceding is the problem tell the child firmly but calmly that they need to take their nap, stay in their play pen or whatever the case may be and walk away. They may not understand the words at that time but they will learn to understand the intent. Crying is not going to get them what they want.
My son use to scream when in the grocery store, he did not like riding in the cart. He would scream until he saw a young lady, then he would stop, flirt with her and when she was out of sight start screaming again. Yes he was a lady’s man even back then. As much as it bothered us and some of the other shoppers we let him scream and eventually he stopped. He learned screaming only got him a time out in his crib when we got home. Of course he screamed some more at home over the time out.
We all make the mistake of spoiling children especially working parents. We feel we are depriving them of some of the nurturing they are entitled to and tend to over compensate with the time we do have with them. We need to be firm when setting boundaries and it starts as infants by letting them know their screaming is not always going to get them what they want.
One last thing; Sometimes children cry because they are lonely or scared. Being able to see mom or dad when appropriate, say when in their play pen, is all that is needed to calm them.
look im 17/ f and i deffinitly think im an alcoholic. everytime i drink i get wasted, and i cant stop drinking.. like i just cant. what the hell do i do now not to forget all my embarrasing things i do drunk..
The definition of an alcoholic is someone who cannot control their drinking. This is just one of the many reasons society asks that you wait until you are 21 to start drinking. Alcoholism is a disease just like any other disease; the difference is this one has no cure but can be controlled.
You have taken the first step in that you recognize you have a problem. My brother in-law who has been a recovering alcoholic for over 20 years tells me that this is the most important step. The next step is to get help. The best help is through Alcoholics’ Anonymous. They are the best people to help you with your question. They will help you with who if anyone you need to make amends to. They will help you stop drinking and most importantly they are anonymous and they will not condemn you. Check out their website: http://aa.org/?Media=PlayFlash.
On their website you will find out about their 12 step program which is the cornerstone of their recovery program. They have a locator system you can use to find a meeting at a time and place near you. Only first names are used. Even if you meet someone you know they will never tell your parents. That is for you to do when you are ready and they will, through the 12 step program prepare you for telling your parents that you are an alcoholic. This is a lifelong program for alcoholism is a lifelong problem. Once you have control of the problem you will be able to lead a normal life, as long as you stay away from alcohol.
Speaking for myself and I’m old enough to be your grandfather; the only thing you did wrong and it is a legal wrong at that was to drink alcohol before you were legally old to do so. I believe the problem you are having with alcohol would have most likely manifested itself at some point later in your life. The fact that it has manifested itself at your young age allows you to gain control over it before the alcohol harms your body, your mind and your reputation.
Please contact Alcoholics Anonymous and let them help you.
I mean, to a certain extent I can understand.
I'm talking about average women.
No bikini model shoots to attend, but not like you mistake her for a whale either. Just a totally normal, within her weight range, woman.
-She's has a little bit of tone, but she's definitely not all that active and fit.
-She's soft enough for you to grab a good handful, but she doesn't have cellulite or anything.
Does it completely depend on the guy?
Of course, I know, there's always gonna be the shallow ones who only go for the perfect, "hott" bodies, but what about the rest of us?
Is there any hope for us to be absolutely comfortable with no thoughts of "ugh, he's probably grossed out right now" ?
It keeps me from performing my best in bed. I know I could be so much better if I wanted to, it's just my insecurity with my body that's holding me back from my full potential.
It makes me sad sometimes when I think about it.
I could really use some reassurance.
Especially from men.
I’m old enough to be your dad and you probably want to hear from someone closer to your own age. While that is probably true I’m going to stick my two cents in any way for nothing ever really changes.
When I was your age I found that the girls with the super model bodies were shallow and quite conceded. They were only interested in the hunks, the football players, basketball players and the rest of the jocks. The hard bodies and super bodies all hung out with the right crowds and if you were not in the “proper crowd” their crowd you were a no one
I was in the no one crowd; I was far from ugly, I didn’t have a six pack but I was not fat. My parents’ were not rich so I worked after school and on weekend. I worked in a gas station repairing cars. I did not date much because I was embarrassed that my hands, no matter how hard I scrubbed them, were always stained by the grease and oil from the cars I worked on. The logical part of my mind knew these stains would not rub off on anyone but the illogical part always worried that I would get the girl dirty if I touched her.
My story does not sound like yours? Actually it is exactly like yours. I was being overly concerned about something I couldn’t control. It took a very mature young lady I asked out, we were both still in high school, who wanted to know why I never touched her. She wanted to be more intimate and wanted to know what I was afraid of. I showed her my hands and said “they never come clean”. She said “you work hard that’s ground in dirt, if any does come off on me it will wash off.” I made love to her for the first time that night. We went our separate ways after high school but we have stayed in touch as friends.
If all anyone is looking at is the superficial they are not worth being intimate with. As you get older you find that we mistake lust for love and lust is superficial and not sustaining. Love on the other hand is very sustaining with or without intimacy and has little to do with external looks. It is the person within that you fall in love with.
Teenagers, more boys than girls, allow lust to rule them and maybe that is the way it is suppose to be so that the hormones raging through their bodies do not drive them crazy. Just remember you are who you are and do not obsess over the women in the magazines. Most of those pictures are airbrushed anyway to remove flaws and they are professionally groomed for the shoot. You could look that good to with a professional makeup artist and hair stylist.
how do u find your correct bra size?? I went to Victoria secret a few yeas ago and got measured for a bra. The lady that measured me told me I was a 42 DD. But I think my bra is a little too big. When I get a 38 D or 38 DD its too small I think. I don't know, But my chest is kinda big and I don't know how to get my correct bra size. I don't want to go somewhere, get measured and have a too big or too small bra. It doesn't look right when I wear the bra size that the lady at victoria secret gave me. Then when I buy bras smaller than that my mom says they are too little. When I get a bra that I think fits, my mom tells me that I should get other bras in that size but the other bras don't feel right and sometimes when I buy bras the straps never stay where I adjust them and I have to put a pin in the straps to keep them from coming down. Yesterday someone told me they didnt know if I was wearing a bra, I was weraing a bra, but its too big I think. Can someone tell me an accurate way of finding my bra size?
Being in sales for over thirty years I can tell you that even though a product might look the same each manufacture produces their product just a little different than another. Just like dresses, blouses and shoes your bra size will differ depending on where it was cut, sown and who the specifying manufacturer is.
For every day bras I would suggest you go to a major department store and ask when one of the fitters from Bali, or Playtex is planning to be in the store. If the department store near you is not planning such an event call the North American office for these manufactures, both are located I believe in NYC. Find out where and when a fitter will be that is close to where you live. If they are not going to have a fitter near where you live they may be able to recommend where you can go that has a salesperson trained to properly fit you. Once you have been shown how a bra should fit you will know how to pick a bra from any other manufacturer so when you want something more delicate you can fit yourself.
An ill fitting bra is not just painful for you it can do you permanent harm as well.