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What should I do if I want to be refered to as male in high school?
I'm a chick that feels like I was placed in the wrong body (I'm 15). At school it bothers me when I'm called by my real name and gender, but I don't know what to tell people because it would most likely be awkward for them (I'm also the quiet one). It obvious because of how I dress and act. I just don't know what to do. What should I do in this situation?
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I was in agreement with adviceman right up until the point where he posted "Gender Identity Disorder" from webMD.
Everyone is a little bit different, and while most people feel natural in the gender roles and persona they were born with, it's not universal. Transgender people very much exist and many people have feelings which they cannot deny or suppress similar to yours which must be dealt with in some way.
What I can tell you, is that right now at 15 is not the point in time to assert yourself in this way in your life.
You're 15 years old. There are more important things for you to accomplish and learn than your sexual identity right now. And I know that you've got puberty and hormones to fight with making you feel as if you do in fact have to address it right this very second.
Don't.
You will have plenty of time when you reach adulthood to establish yourself as a person, to feel your way through this. The best suggestion right now is counseling of some kind. Preferably with a focus on teaching you coping skills for handling stress and relaxing yourself and making yourself happy with all the other aspects of your life.
There are many people who will tell you that there is something wrong with you.
Flat out, that's not their judgment to make. It's yours. But at 15, making such judgments are difficult. Between the lack of life experience, the hormones and irrationality of puberty, and the things you have to accomplish, I would not in any way suggest that trying to assert yourself in the world is a good thing right now.
Teens are finicky. Teachers kinda have rules about what they can and can't do. Instead of pushing those boundaries, table this for a later time and focus on the rest of your life. Come back to it when you're more of an adult, more capable of running your own life and more confident in your own abilities to determine what you want and where you want to go.
If you try to handle this now, it'll likely be a far, far rockier road than it has to be.
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Hello.
I feel that you can do one of two things. The first would be to change your name to a male name that you like. I know a girl that shortened her female name from alexis to alex and now she dresses like a male and is a male in every sense. Your good friends can help you through this change. It may be difficult and awkward, but ultimately the change will make you happier. Do your parents know how you feel about this? Now would be a good time to tell them because you will also need their support during this. You describe yourself as the "quiet one" and although this could just be your personality, it might also have a lot to do with your insecurities? Once you feel like you are the right gender, you may begin to be more confident and social.
Another option that I can see would be to change to a new school. At a new school no one would know you and it would be a perfect time to acquire a new identity. It would be less awkward and stressful in my opinion.
Regardless of what you choose it is best that you have people in your life who understand you and support your decision. There are many websites out there for people with gender identity issues and they can very much help you.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Take care of yourself and I wish you the best of luck in this. Remember that although some people may judge you for this, the people who truly care about you will stick by you. All the best <3.
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Let me start by saying you are not alone in your feelings; there are many men and women, boys and girls who fell as you do. The problem you face is I believe called gender identity disorder and is something you need professional help to come to terms with and when you are older you might want to consider gender reassignment surgery.
The immediate situation is your wanting to be addressed as a male by friends and faculty. As far as the faculty is concerned without a doctor’s orders to do so they are going to address you as you are registered to attend school. You may convince one or two teachers to address you as you would like to be addressed but as a rule they will not indulge you as what they may see as a fantasy. Even the younger more enlightened teacher will most likely follow the rules rather than risk their jobs by indulging in your request. You could talk to your Guidance Counselor about this but not all guidance counselors are trained psychologists who are better able to understand and counsel you.
Now as to having you friends call you and see you as a male: Teenagers can be very fickle; your closest friends may do so without understanding fully why this is important to you. Your other friends and people in school who really do not know you are going to make your life miserable. Why? Simply because they do not understand and what we do not understand scares them therefore they will try to scare you off by teasing you or even trying to hurt you. Rather than trying to get them to accept you as you want you can dress as you please. You can wear men’s pants and shirts. You can cut your hair short you can even shave your head if you want. The other kids in school may not like it but they will accept it. This is called a compromise; in this case one that allows you to feel better about yourself without endangering yourself.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location). This website will help you find out more about gender identity disorder. I suggest you read through it and the associated information then if you have not already done so you need to sit down and talk with your parents. Yes, you are different than others but you are not weird or sick or anything else that people might think. The counseling and treatments suggested are not being suggested to help you overcome how you feel but to help you deal with your feelings and some of the other things you can have happen to you like depression while you work to find the direction and how you wish to live your life.
The hardest part about telling your parents is convincing them this is just not a phase you are going through as your body adapts to the hormonal and physical changes you are undergoing. Do the research, read the article I have supplied and others, make a list of these things you can identify with and point out to your parents. Then sit down with your parents and talk to them and ask them for their help.
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